PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 8:51 AM Go to message in response to: lulling

Lol... I semi- started planning before we were officially engaged. I knew our bridal party, our colors, and who was going to marry us... I didn't plan anything big though.

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

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LaJoieAuMonde Posts : 17 Registered: 7/8/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: cldeross

Dallas and I are kind of in the same situation. We have known we wanted to get married since October. That is where he first asked me on his birthday before going to sleep. I agreed,but we soon realixed that with out a ring, and with out the means to plan a wedding for a while, it would be best if we kept it under wraps. After about a month neither of us really felt officailly engauged. No ring, and no one else knew. So we decided to just keep it boyfriend and girlfriend untill we could get the ring. It is now july and we have continued to talk about our commitment, and decided, what is stopping us from going forward now. He asked me again in the same manner yesterday "i know i don't have a ring but will you marry me?" No special moment no down on one knee, but it was a commitment between the two of us. We went to look at rings, but money is preventing us from buying it. So we decided again, to wait to announce untill the ring was on my finger. But now we have a more solid plan. We are talking about when and where, and i'm starting a budget so we can save enough to get the ring and plan the wedding.

Dallas has a little bit of trouble being romantic, so i said that once we got the ring, we would make a proposal story. We decided that around my birthday, in august, would be a perfect time. Then we'll have a ring and i'll get my on one knee propoal.

If he hasn't proposed on one knee offically, ask him about it. Sometimes guys just assume that looking at rings means he's asked. And for me it is less about suprise and more about a romantic special moment for both of us to remember. Asking me after we discuss the different options for our future isn't quite as romantic.

But i'd marry him no matter what.

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mooRS Posts : 26 Registered: 6/15/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 10, 2009 9:42 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDRM

I just recently moved into your boat. My boyfriend and I started to talk about getting married a year ago, and got more serious about it back in December. He had this whole thing planned out and was all ready, and then some drama in my family stalled him because he didn't want the engagement to be over-shadowed by other issues. I had a feeling going in, and just asked him a few weeks after the "missed engagement," and he said that yes, that was when he was going to do it. It was very disappointing for both of us.

That conversation did lead us into some other things, though, like what type of wedding we want. Of course, I've had some ideas, but now that I know what he's looking for, I've started to do some serious research.

I figure it's only a matter of time-- I'm thinking within the next few weeks-- so I'm telling myself that it's just being smart since we're on a time schedule (the lease on my apartment runs out the end of next June, and I'm not moving in with him before we're married). And it's helping. I have some sort of clue now what I'm looking for and where to find out, instead of just beginning research once we're officially engaged and then being rushed because we have deadlines to meet before we're even really sure of what we want.

What are you ladies looking into?

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MJ2010 Posts : 4 Registered: 7/12/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 12, 2009 1:36 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDRM

David and I had "the talk" (about our love and our future) and just started with the planning process despite not having a formal proposal yet. We've looked at rings, chosen the ring designer, we have a date in mind (9/5/10), we met with reception site reps, caterers and have just initiated the conversation with my priest.

YES! it is awkward doing all this planning without an official proposal, but planning a wedding can start at any time. It's 2009 and traditional timelines and protocol have been tossed out the window in many (though not all) instances.

Honestly, the biggest problem with doing it this way is that I can't stand the suspense!! When will he ask?? I'll be patient.

I wish you and all the other future fiancees out the there the best of luck.

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JamieShell Posts : 10 Registered: 7/21/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 21, 2009 10:09 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDRM

I'm also one in the same situation. I've been with my guy for over a year and a half. At our one year anniversary he told me he knew for certain I was the one and he wanted to marry me but there were just some practical things in my life that had to get to straightened out first for us to have a life together. I had to agree with him on that, it's a long story dealing with driving anxiety but needless to say I did indeed do what needed to be done at the end of April for us to live together. And while I didn't expect a proposal that day mind you, I did think that was the last domino to drop and he would be certainly planning after that. A month later when I kind of joked about it I got the line again how he wanted us to get situated living together first.

We've been living together since the middle of May and before we moved in I asked him if I was way out of line thinking that a proposal would be coming soon and when I asked him when he thought it would come he told me "Probably by the end of Summer." I got so excited that it kind of scared me because nothing was for sure so I didn't want to get my hopes up only to end up resentful of him if he didn't propose then. About 3 weeks ago the conversation came up again and he let it be known that September is one of two months out of the year that he gets paid 3 times instead of 2 so he would have some extra money to "go shopping" and to expect something after that.

I really do feel like we're unofficially engaged. We talk about what kind of wedding to have, where it will be and we've already decided it will likely be Fall or Winter 2010, he's asked my ring size, what kind of ring I want, he knows it all. He's been telling me for months that he has every intention of proposing and that he definitely will. I believe him, I really do but at the same time I'm scared to believe it could really happen in September because I've been awaiting the day for months. I know it wouldn't be so terrible if it didn't happen then, I would still have a wonderful man that I love and that loves me dearly but I just want to start planning for the next step. I am absolutely ready to spend the rest of my life with him.. But really I wouldn't even care if he didn't have a ring when he proposed though I know he wants to, and I've told him not to go overboard on buying one. I just want to be engaged and not to anyone but to him. I feel crazy sometimes and I know he worries that I'll obsess over it but I don't think I do, I think I'm just anxious because I've finally found the right guy and I see nothing holding us back.

Anyway glad to have found a forum with women in similar situations. It helps to know I'm not alone.

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GollumsGirl Posts : 57 Registered: 7/7/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 21, 2009 10:52 PM Go to message in response to: JamieShell

Jamieshell,
If September is the month when he has the extra paycheck to go shopping, then I would assume that he will do the shopping after the 3rd paycheck. This means that the proposal won't happen until at least then. If he orders something special or even has to have it sized to your finger, then it could take a bit longer. I know it kinda sucks to think that it will be that long, but I would guess for no sooner than mid to late October, maybe even Christmas if he wants to do that. If you set your sights on that, difficult as it may be I know, then if/when he proposes sooner you can be shocked, surprised and in awe of his love for you.
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Angelxx05x Posts : 39 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 26, 2009 11:20 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDRM

Congrats ladies, on the committment! That is a big step. The fact that you guys are even talking about it is a big thing.

I'm in the same boat as you guys, talked about the whole marriage thing, but no ring yet. I've know my bf since high school and we've been in a long distance relationsship for about 11 months now. We started talking about getting married 4ish months ago. We were going to do the Vegas thing (because I live in Vegas), but we didn't get a happy reception from our families who told us to wait.

We were talking 1 day and he told me that he was going to propose to me on my b-day (which is on Saturday) but then things got ruined because his plans didn't work out quite right. Recently we set a 2 month time frame for us to pick an actual date, so I think that is a step in the right direction. I'm supposed to go see him at the end of August. Do I think'll happen then??? I don't know. I don't want to get my hopes up. But if it does, that'll be GREAT! Then I won't sound crazy and hopeless when I talk to my friends about getting married and they ask "Are you engaged yet?" That question is becoming my worst enemy!!! LOL!

But again, congrats to the all "almost" engaged couples. This is a joyous time!

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GollumsGirl Posts : 57 Registered: 7/7/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 2:02 AM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

yeah, that question is my enemy as well. Am I engaged yet? ummmm, no. when I am you will know, but until then please don't blow me off like I have no reason to be thinking about weddings. It's not like I am 98 and widowed........

I feel your pain, I just want permission to dream and talk about my dreams!
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Angelxx05x Posts : 39 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 10:07 AM Go to message in response to: GollumsGirl

Hahaha! I think that's why there is this website and this forum. Apparently there are tons of women in the same situation as us. I'm super gald that this forum exists, because I think I would have exploded had it not been here.

And I do think its weird that people even ask "Are you engaged?", Uhhh, apparently there is some type of committment there if we are talking about marriage and setting dates. And what makes it worse is that, most of the time, these ppl are close to you so they know that you've been in a serious relationship for forever and should be thinking about marriage by now anyways

**UPDATE**-I talked to the bf yesterday and he told me that he has been ring shopping. I think that he has the ring, but he would neither confirm or deny that he had it So now the waiting game is increased in pressure!! Touche' Brian (my bf's name), touche'! Hopefully the next update I have, will be that we are OFFICIALLY engaged (fingers crossed)
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GollumsGirl Posts : 57 Registered: 7/7/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 10:28 PM Go to message in response to: Angelxx05x

exactly! I wouldn't be talking wedding stuff with people I don't know. Anyone I would be talking to about it has known all about our relationship and the depth of it for the last 2 years. I think we should have the right to slap them silly or something when they ask us if we are even engaged or give us that look like we shouldn't be thinking about weddings.
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Angelxx05x Posts : 39 Registered: 7/24/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 1:11 PM Go to message in response to: GollumsGirl

Here, here, I second that motion!!!! Start slapping people silly for crazy comments about things they should already know!!! hahah!
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stbmrsquintyne Posts : 1 Registered: 7/3/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Jul 31, 2009 11:42 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDRM

As I am sure you can tell already you are not the only one in this situation. Mine is slighty different but its all the same. My FI and I have discussed marriage. Set a date, put down a deposit for the reception venue. I have even purchased my wedding dress already. Still no ring on my finger yet. He has given me the time frame for when he will be "officially" proposing so its not a big deal to me to not have a ring. As a wise coworker told me, the commitment itself is way more valuable than the ring. Some people don't receive the ring until the wedding day.

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frontiergirl28 Posts : 14 Registered: 8/2/07
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Aug 20, 2009 4:10 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Oh yes, same boat. We're engaged to be engaged, you could say. We talk about it all the time, but he doesn't want to propose (with the ring and all) until he's finished with college, because his parents will be really upset. So... waiting on the ring... planning our wedding. :)
I'm here for friends, ideas, and supportive encouragement. Please don't say anything if you are just going to be critical. Thank you.

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SamanthasDay Posts : 10 Registered: 2/1/08
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Aug 21, 2009 9:18 AM Go to message in response to: frontiergirl28

Wow. Exact same situation. We've been together more than 3 years, we bought a house together 2 years ago, and have been living in it together. We have a puppy together!

We've been talking a lot about marriage and the wedding. I do want it to be a surprise. We've been looking at rings, mostly online, but we've been to two stores together to get our sizes.

Its exciting... but also a bit scary. I've been thinking a lot about the time of year the wedding should be in, and who I want my MOH to be. But we haven't spent anything yet. In talking to him, I am VERY surprised about all the ideas he has. He must have been thinking about this for a while, too! yay!

In summary... we're all in the same boat, here girls. Just waiting...and trying to remember to breathe.

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futuremrsadamsm... Posts : 1 Registered: 8/4/09
Re: PLLLLLEASSEE tell me youre in the same situation as me!
Posted: Aug 21, 2009 9:50 AM Go to message in response to: SamanthasDay

Hello ladies, and congrats on finding your true loves

we're in the same boat as well. We've been together for 3 years, we've been in our new house for one, and we got our puppy last november. He told me to start planning. He's already gotten the ring, he just wants it to be perfect. He wont tell me when or where, just says it will be a surprise. But gave me the heads up that I could start attending bridal shows, and basically start planning the whole wedding. We've already discussed dates (debating on 9/25/2010), and bridal party, etc. It's exciting knowing it is coming, but kind of nerve wrecking trying to figure out when it will happen. I'm just ready to spend the rest of my life with him!!

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