step parents invitation etiquette

Online Users: 1,361 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 3

photochica Posts : 9 Registered: 5/21/09
step parents invitation etiquette
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 12:03 AM

I'm trying to come up with the final text for our invitations, and I'm stuck. We want to include my fiance's parents on the invitation. He was raised by his mother and stepfather (also a groomsman). His parents divorced when he was 2, and his biological has been mostly out of the picture. We were going to acknowledge his father on the invite but not his stepmother. Is it wrong to list his stepfather and not his stepmother even though she's been absent from his life? Right now the invite says:

Mr. and Mrs. Photochica's Parents
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter

Photochica
to
Mr. Photochica

son of Mr. and Mrs. (Stepfather's Name)
and Mr. (Bio Father)
as they join together to become husband and wife...

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: step parents invitation etiquette
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 10:31 AM Go to message in response to: photochica

If his dad and stepmother are both out of his life - why are they being mentioned at all? Sure, he is his bio dad, but that doesn't mean he deserves a mention. In my opinion, you have to do an all or none approach here. I see your options as this:

1) List just his mother and stepfather or
2) List his mother and stepfather, than his dad and stepmother.

I think putting on one stepparent on and leaving the other off will cause a lot of unnecessary trouble.

 

 

P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: step parents invitation etiquette
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 11:28 AM Go to message in response to: photochica

Dear PC,

I agree with Bride 2008.

Either include both step-parents or leave both out. Anyone reading the invitation as you have it written would assume bio-Dad is not married, else, his wife would be there along with the bio-Mom's husband.

Personally, I would leave out both step-parents, just to cut down on name clutter. He's the son of Joe Blow and Jane Smith. Period. That's a biological, non-deniable fact.

Another option, attractive in this case, would be to leave out all groom's parents. The "classic" invitations never mentioned the groom's parents, but only the bride's parents as party hosts and invitation-issuers. Putting in the groom's parents' names (Son of...) is a recent invention.

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KimberlyDonn Posts : 26 Registered: 9/8/08
Re: step parents invitation etiquette
Posted: Aug 14, 2009 3:42 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I think I'd leave it with the first line that just says "parents" request the honor...
That way you don't have worry about excluding someone, and the term is generic enough; besides it will cost less. I'm sure by now you've alreayd figured this out but I didn't have much else to do while I was letting some writing rest until i edit it... yep, I'm at work and I'm not working!

Kim

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