Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.

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MadamBari Posts : 16 Registered: 8/7/09
Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 6:39 PM

I'm new here, so like I posted in a reply to someone else, I don't really have a rapport with anyone here yet... But some opinions would be great.

I understand that certain designers have certain styles that would NOT look good on any bigger woman. I get that... but do sales people have to be so rude?! I've been all around this city in tons of dress shops and even the ones that carry (very) large sizes have salespeople who can be just plain cruel.

Fat girls get married too... and we want to look beautiful too. I budgeted a lot of money for a wedding dress but got so disgusted with the independently owned bridal shops that I broke down and went to David's Bridal. I'm probably going to go with one of their dresses... because it was the ONLY place where the employees actually treated me like a human being.

Is there a reason for this behavior? Is it 'okay.' I guess I just want to know what you all think... If I'm taking this too personally or if you think they have a valid reason... I'm all ears. I guess what I really want is some kind of justification.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 6:53 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

I am so sorry you were made to feel like you weren't worthy of a lovely gown, and I'm glad that David's treated you with the respect that you deserve as a bride and customer! I do hope you find a lovely dress there. (And look on the bright side... since you save a bunch of money FOR the wedding dress, buying it at a place like David's puts more on the table for other project). You could also have one custom made for you.

I don't think that that snooty attitude is an acceptable way to treat any customer .... regardless of size or appearance. Even if they didn't have your size, they could have treated you with courtesy.

I've gotten that attitude in stores where they think I don't have the funds for the clothes,accessories,etc thathey are selling. The only time I went into a store like that, I did ACTUALLY have enough money on my person to buy a pair of Jimmy Choos (I would have been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches for the rest of my vacation, but if I wanted the shoe, I could have bought it!) They followed me around like I was going to shove a pair of shoes in my purse (which was big enough for a cell phone, drivers licence, room key card, and cash. Period) and made me feel like I had no right to be in the store. Pissed me off.


Misty

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LynLovesJoe Posts : 2 Registered: 8/7/09
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 7:03 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

dude, that is terrible that they made you feel that way! I went with a latino owned bridal shop and was very happy with how I was treated. Unlike Blossoms where they don't want to help ANY customers even though I kept asking them to take my deposit.




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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 7:09 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

I am so sorry you had that experiance. I started out at David's knowing that they more or less catered to larger women, but didn't find my dress there. It may sound weird, but I find it lucky the town I am orignanly from most women are on the bigger side, and they had a store that catered to bigger woman with a ton of samples and were very nice. If I were in your shoes I would do some more research on the shops in your area and see if there are any comments from other larger women who have had simular problems.

I hope you find your dream dress soon! And as soon as you do, or even if you would like before, stop by the plus size brides thread in this section and share with us!!


 

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 7:14 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

Madam -

That's just disgusting behavior. I'm large too and I found my dream dress at David's - the first time I went dress shopping. They have some lovely things.

Good luck!

 

 

 

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deansbride Posts : 220 Registered: 3/24/08
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 7:21 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

I'm so sorry that this happened!!! Are you in Milwaukee? I am not a small girl either and the only place I went was Davids (I knew that was what I could afford), but my SIL had some issues like what you are describing. Once a sales lady told her she needed to lose weight before the wedding so to not bother ordering from her until she knows what size she is going to be and that she should really consider losing a lot!! She left the store in tears :(
That is not how it should be! They should be treating you like a princess. You have every right to be upset!

Good luck, I'm sure you will look beautiful!

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."

-Dr Seuss

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carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 7:27 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

I'm sorry you were treated that way!! And I hope you find the dress of your dreams at David's just to stick it to the others! I, like I think Cat mentioned, have been in several stores where they didn't "think" I had the money for their whatever--boy were they surprised when I told them off holding a stack of $100s!! LOL That was a good feeling! I can be a real bitch when I need to be! LOL You will find there are several "larger" women on here, myself included, and I don't think I've ever seen an "ugly" bride! Any woman looks gorgeous in a wedding dress, in my opinion! If you'd like a supportive group of women while you attempt healthier eating/dieting--join us over on the Overweight but motived thread! Congratulations!

 

Proud member POOP - People Offended by Offended People

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 7:45 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

Hi. Im sorry you were treated that way, and I totally get it. As a plus sized person myself lately, I know what its like to be looked at a certain way by salespeople the minute you walk in their door. I wanted a positive gown buying experience during my wedding planning, but I always ended up feeling more like Julia Roberts in that famous Pretty Woman scene on Rodeo Drive. There really is no excuse for it, but it happens all the time. I often got the brushoff, or the direct "we dont have anything in your size here" type remarks. Finally, I got sick of it, and decided to have my dress made for me by a seamstress. From day one,she was great. No talk of size, weight, or anything else... she built the dress around my body type rather than making me feel like there was something wrong with me. So, I would recommend that, or doing some research before going into the stores. Shop in places that cater to you, rather than those that consider you some freak. lol.

Im now a wedding planner, and wrote a blog about this topic on my website. Check it out for a fun read if you like. Its called Plus Sized My Ass.,and the link is below.... good luck to you!



http://www.myaislerunner.com/blog/2007/09/page/7/



Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady


Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert



Edited by: kelleyiskelley on Aug 7, 2009 7:46 PM

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 10:00 PM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

I am not a larger woman. However, my MOH had a dress size 28-30 BM in her wedding. We couldn't find any "designer" shops to get her a BM dress. We lucked out like a fat cat when we went to an ethic store. Typically stores that cater to Black and Latino ladies have dresses that fit real HUMAN bodies with very little (if any) alterations. Her mom and GMa were also larger ladies that found awesome formal dresses there as well.

Typically, the dresses are just copy cat designs of designer gowns or just made by less known people. Seriously, call a couple of bridal stores and ask if they cater to ethnic women. The dress sizes in the store we found went up to XXXXXXL (yes that's 6XL) which was approx a dress size 50.

They were the NICEST ladies, too!
Happiness is you MIL's face on a milk carton.

wedding ticker 

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carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 11:38 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Gee Mush--I guess I should've asked that question BEFORE my wedding! I think I'd have had a lot more choices! I've often wondered how women larger than myself ever found clothes--I never considered smaller stores! I may have a back-to-school shopping spree yet! Thanks for the tip!

 

Proud member POOP - People Offended by Offended People

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ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 11:51 PM Go to message in response to: carebearny1999

ugh, i could rant all day about this.

I go to a bridal boutique as a bridesmaid for a friends wedding.

Mind you, I'm pretty average in size. 160 pounds, size 12 street clothes, okay?

Every frigging bridesmaid dress we pick up is a size 4-10. These are bridal sizes, so the biggest person that could try on a dress would have been a street size six or eight.

Eff that. So I'm already emotional right? So we pick out the dress we all like. And it's a size ten, which will not go over my hips let alone zip up. So I don't bother trying it on, but the other teeny weeny Street Size 4 bridesmaids try it on. And then the lady working the counter goes ( I KID YOU NOT), loudly:

"Do you want to try on the tiny one so we can just see for sure HOW MUCH BIGGER TO ORDER YOURS? We're gonna have to order yours at least two sizes bigger anyway TO ACCOMADATE YOUR BELLY, and we'll just TAKE THE BOOBS IN A BIT"

yes lady. I want to try on a teeny dress in front of my skinny friends and half this bridal shop full of customers, so I can sit here and be critiqued by women half my size, all the while now having a complex because I apparently look like a boobless pregnant woman.

Eff that noise. Eff it, I say. I was pretty much a fuming wild woman by the time I left there. It was not only miserable but truly really embarassing.
My Planning Blog

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 8, 2009 12:19 AM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

No one diserves to be treated like they aren't worthy of being beautiful on there wedding day. There is no law that says plus size isn't beautiful, and that if your plus size you can't have a beautiful gown. Also, if it makes you feel any better, snotty sales people are going to be snotty regardless of the size that the bride is, so it's not just if your plus size, it's just the poor quality that they were raised with. I'm petite and and one place I stopped in at I showed the lady the style of dress I want and she looked it and goes "yeah that's a gorgeous style but not if your petite" and gave me the most disgusted look on her face, you would've thought I dropped my pants and just took a crap infront of her or something from the look she gave me! Me, my sister, and friend all looked at her and said Um NOOO this style looks BEST on me, next petite bride you have in, have her try it on!" walked out, but she still had the nerve to give me a card, some good that would do! If David's Bridal is giving you the best customer service, I say there's nothing wrong with going there. Customer service is a HUGE issue to me, and even if I find a dress I love somewhere, I'm not going to get it if the sales people are rude to me. I'd rather spend $2,000 on something that's OK where I get great service vs. spending $1000 on something that's great but comes with bad customer service!

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 8, 2009 12:26 AM Go to message in response to: deansbride

Once a sales lady told her she needed to lose weight before the wedding so to not bother ordering from her until she knows what size she is going to be and that she should really consider losing a lot!!

OMG are you serious!?!?!? If this lady felt she needed to tell other people what they should weigh, maybe she should be working for JennyCraig, or should've went to school to become a doctor!

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 8, 2009 12:46 AM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

Madam,

I am terribly sorry to hear about your experiences. I normally wear a 18 or a 20, but of course wedding dresses run incredibly small. I was quite nervous about shopping for a wedding gown. I've been trying to lose weight for quite some time, but that is much easier said than done.

My first trip was to David's Bridal. I was not happy with any of the styles I saw, and everything I really wanted to try on...they didn't have any samples in my size.

If you have ever seen Peter Perfect on Style Network he renovated a bridal consignment store in Houston...well, that was my second stop. They didn't have a huge selection in my size, but one I tried on was great!

We purchased the bridesmaids dresses from Alfred Angelo and they have dresses in a variety of sizes. I saw one there that was absaolutely beautiful also...and they have most everything in all sizes so that you can try it on in the store.

Maggie Sottero designs dresses for plus sized women as well.

I got the dress from the consignment store, it was an Allure Bridal dress that had been discontinued...a sample. So you may want to look at a vendor who sales that brand also.

Your best bet is to look at the large chain retailers or even really large vendors/ Call them before you go, make it easier on yourself.

Good luck!!


http://www.mywedding.com/justinandmeaganswedding

a wedding website

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: Well I'm sorry your designs are too good for a fat bride.
Posted: Aug 8, 2009 12:51 AM Go to message in response to: MadamBari

I'm so sorry you had that experience. I went into a bridal shop the other day to look at BM dress ideas. I told the saleslady that a couple of my BMs were bigger women. She was the nicest person about it and told me that the BMs dresses were true to size unlike most dresses that are sized too small. My gown is a size 10 and I normally wear a size 6! I hope you find an amazing dress that you love!

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