I need opinions...this is really long sorry.

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We2Heart Posts : 452 Registered: 10/11/07
I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Jul 27, 2009 4:30 PM

I'm in a foul mood so I apologize because I tend to babble when I'm like this so this will be long. DH and I have lived in an apartment in the city since January. In Feburary our landlord who is also the owner and builder of the complex came to us and told us the bank was pressing him to sell the open units. He tried to get us to buy the unit but we knew we were not interested in buying there. Anyway we allowed him to open our apartment for showings and we got a free months rent out of the deal. He was fairly sincere at the time about having to inconvinence us since technically the unit is ours for the length of the lease.

He had no luck on his own so he hired a realtor in April (or May or June, at this point I don't remember). This realtor was a PITA from the start. He had the balls to tell me I don't keep a tidy home. There is no extra storage space for us as renters, so our boxes and extra things went in corners that had no use to us and into the second bedroom. Where the F* do you want me to put things away? So I tried to accomodate them as best I could, but DH and I are kind of pack rats and even all of what we have at our apartment isn't all of what we own. At least, most of my things are still at my parents house.

So today, we get an email from our landlord saying "It's come to my attention that the reason the unit isn't selling is because of all the clutter". That nearly sent DH over the edge. We were in the middle of negotiating a month to month extension because our lease ends at the end of Aug and we're looking at houses. I doubt we will be going month to month with these people. (There's been other issues we've had with the management and the association)

I wanted to yell at DH because it's all his clutter. I clean up after him but there's only so much of his stuff I can deal with, or know what to do with. I can deal with everything except his sports gear and paraphenillia. His golf clubs are in our bedroom, his fishing poles are next to the fireplace, his soccer balls are under the table. I don't know where to put them! God knows I've asked him to put it away but that's where he "puts it away". And now, he buys a F'ing road bike and drags my old bike from my parents house in too which are sitting by the fireplace now. I told him not to get my bike yet. He responds "don't you want to ride with me?" Um yes, I do, but we're moving out again soon. Still, he goes and gets the bike. Have we gone out to ride? No. For one, we havent replaced anything on my bike yet (need new tires at least). And he hasn't gotten the proper shoes (some stupid special shoe that locks into the pedal DAMN YOU TOUR DE FRANCE) or helmets.

Sigh, I don't know what to do here. because if I suggest moving anything else into storage, he'll be like "well I'm going to use that". When I know for a fact he probably won't. And now he's suggesting we go live with my parents until we find a house because he doesn't want to have to deal with our landlord anymore. I'm not so sure he can handle living with my parents. I would be ok with it, but as their relationship is unstable, I'm also not sure if it's the right thing to do. Another thing about living with my parents is they are quite controlling by nature and in different ways. And I'm afraid some small part of me has an innate need to have their approval which then becomes a power struggle between me and them. Which is part of the reason I moved out in the first place. I needed room to think for myself.

On one hand, we are getting increasingly frustrated with our landlord, his realtor, the management, and our neighbors, it would save a great deal of money that would be saved toward a house, and my commute would be infinitely better. But it would add stressors to not only us, but my family, mainly my parents, as well. I know they'd be fine with us moving in, but I also know they'd use us (as with my sisters) as a distraction to whats going on with them.

Since we're in the process of buying a house, we don't want to go look for another apartment. We're narrowing down to homes we like, and our realtor is doing a great job of finding homes to show us that she knows we'll like. But we need at least the next couple months time to get our ducks in a row. Do we continue with the month to month agreement with the PITA apartment, or do we try and save as much as we can in 3 months living with my parents? I'm leaning towards the PITA apt. but it would be so nice to have my easy commute back and saving more money for a house. I tend to overthink things and DH is spontaneous so it bothers me when he pushes me for an answer. I need help thinking this through.



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together is a perfect place to be because it's there that you can be delightfully imperfect. and there's nothing closer to perfection than being loved just because you are. 

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Jul 27, 2009 4:57 PM Go to message in response to: We2Heart

As much of a PITA it is to live where you're at now, it sounds like it will actually be easier there than at your parents if they have controlling tendencies and if they have their own problems right now. Your space isn't really your own right now but it will be even less of your own if you move in with the parents. Am I right?

So anyway, to me it seems like it would still be easier/less stress to stay where you are while house hunting. Can you make things even easier on yourselves and store a bunch of your stuff at your folks' place while your landlord is having people look at your unit?

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Jul 27, 2009 5:04 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

I like happys idea. Put your STUFF at your parents place, you stay put lol.

It sounds as if it would be a huge pita to move everything, pay for moving truck, etc etc, and then maybe find a house really soon after that. It does sound as if you are close to perhaps finding something ,a house , and in that case, I would think youre better off staying with the month to month agreement, but trying to get rid of some of your things that you dont need right now by storing them at mom and dads place. Then, if it comes to a point where your landlord screw you and you need to move out right away, you can use your parents place for a last resort if that happens. Personally, I hate moving, so to me, It would be a giant pain to do it more than once.

BTW: I soooo sympathize with your apartment/no space situation, as we are in the same one. I had to laugh reading your post, because our small one bedroom apartment was plentyof space for just me long ago --- but when DH moved in 4yrs ago, with all his STUFF, its been like living in a room filled with piles of stuff. And yes, 90% of it is HIS lol. Same things youre saying too. Golf clubs, bike, rollerblades, oh and DH has SEVEN guitars and about 11 tennis rackets and claims he needs all of them. Sigh.

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We2Heart Posts : 452 Registered: 10/11/07
Re: I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Jul 27, 2009 5:43 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

Thank you Happy and Kelley. Yes I think that's what I was starting to feel as well. It might be more of a hassle to live with my parents than do deal with the pita apartment. I moved out for a reason and I've been happier for it. I love my parents and my family, I just can't live with them anymore. Staying over a night or 2 is one thing, but living there is different. It's the prospect of saving money for a house that is appealing, as well as shortening my commute by more than half. DH's commute doubles but it doubles on public transportation. The train is a lot different than driving in the city. The extra money towards a house would be nice though.

Just before I saw your and Kelley's replies I was thinking that I could pack up everything like I was moving and store everything I didn't need for the next few months. The problem would be getting DH to part with his stuff. LOL. I have a hard time throwing things away, but I can put them away if I haven't used it. DH on the other hand is a "well I might use this" kind of person so he keeps things on hand. Especially his sports stuff. He gets invited to pick up games and stuff so he wants to have them on hand. Which I understand, but they take up so much room! And does he really need TWO sets of golf clubs?!

Kelley, LOL thanks for the laugh. Even though technically we have quite a bit of space for the 2 of us in a 2 br duplex apartment, it's still filled with crap! DH inherited (I would almost rather say burdoned with) his grandfather's old engineering books. I'm not just talking a few books here, I'm talking 4 tall bookshelves worth of books. Those aren't even with us right now, they're at my dad's warehouse. So when we do buy a house, we might not have full furniture sets but we'll still fill half the house with all the crap we have. How do you not go through and toss the extra things he has? Haha.


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together is a perfect place to be because it's there that you can be delightfully imperfect. and there's nothing closer to perfection than being loved just because you are. 

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We2Heart Posts : 452 Registered: 10/11/07
Re: I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 12:07 PM Go to message in response to: We2Heart

ARGH!! venting...and sort of update

So somewhere in the negotiations between DH and our landlord things went sour. We won't be signing a month to month contract. I have no idea what DH said, or what our landlord said. I have no idea where or why things could have gotten misconstrued. LACK of communication on both parts! And I'm stuck on the outside trying to figure things out. Sigh...

We had an agreement earlier this year to have this month's rent free. I don't know the entire story but all of a sudden they wanted us to pay rent this month. Obviously we didn't like that so we told them we would hold them to our lease and agreement. And then they came back with "well since you're not paying rent this month technically you can't be living there, when can you move out?" I CALL BULL SHIT!! I might be the most gullible person in the world but I know our lease ends on August 31 and we have a written agreement that states we do not have to pay rent on the last month of our lease. I will take your ass to court if you kick me out before. My dad owns rental properties and he knows the ins and outs of the laws pertaining to rentals. Trust me, the judge will side with us. The judge always sides with the tenants unless they are completely obviously in the wrong.

But DH didn't see it that way. (Sometime's he's too nice. I swear.) He was ready to tell him we'd be out by the 15th. I said NO, absolutely not. First of all....that's just shady, trying to play us for fools. Second, with DH being gone this next week, how the hell am I going to pack up all of our stuff by myself? Grr...So we psuedo compromised and said the 23rd...fine. but I'm not giving those asshats the keys back til the 31st. It won't make a difference since they have a set of keys for the showings but the principle is there. LOL. The only other thing I can look forward to is hoping they don't get us back our deposit right away and I WILL be demanding interest, which says in the city's renters protection that I have every right to do. A month and a half deposit plus interest would help me a lot. Gosh what a PITA.

Anyway, so we will be moving in with my parents for a month or so until we find another apartment or find a house. Hmm...we'll see how that goes. So here's to spending my 1 year anniv at my parents. How romantic. Haha. And the bonus of living with my parents about saving money? Well that's not quite true anymore. DH got his bill for school this fall. He was banking on deferring payments but what he didn't know whas that to do that he had to do it for the whole year meaning he had to defer payments begining in January. And he's gotten all the money he can out of his company for the year already for Spring Semester and Summer. So, the $6300 for this Fall semester for 2 classes is coming right out of our savings since he didn't want to get a school loan before getting a home loan. Great...just great. Argh. Lord give me patience.


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together is a perfect place to be because it's there that you can be delightfully imperfect. and there's nothing closer to perfection than being loved just because you are. 

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 12:53 PM Go to message in response to: We2Heart

I'm sorry that your landlord is being such an asshat. :( I hope that you guys find something soon so you don't need to spend too much time at your parents'!!

 

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We2Heart Posts : 452 Registered: 10/11/07
Re: I need opinions...this is really long sorry.
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 3:05 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Thanks Heidi! I hope so too. I love my parents, but there's only so much of them I can handle. LOL.

The landlord situation is kind of weird. He's the builder of the complex so technically his company owns it which is him and his sons. So our lease is through his company not him directly and sometimes he has to discuss things with his sons and the realtor. He's personally very nice and is understanding about our "clutter". But from what little I've delt with his sons, they give the impression that they are greedy and lazy. Their relator is just an asshat plain and simple. No way would I ever imagine telling anyone other than someone who was my immediate family that they don't keep a tidy home. How rude! It's not my place to tell you how to live, and I certianly get offended being told such.

But while our landlord seems nice and understanding, everytime we talk to him its this sob story about how they're broke and the bank is pressing on them for money and his sons are lazy and go on vacation when he's stuck in the office working. It's a little fishy when him and his sons are driving around in brand new lexuses. Yeah, I get it...the economy is rough. But don't whine to me about it if you're not changing your lifestyle to fit the bill.

And then, don't complain when I agree to go month to month on an 5% increase in rent because you want to increase the rent by 10%. Any income is better than no income. So fine, you think you can sell the unit if it's vacant? Go ahead and try. But the unit is not worth what your asking price is. At least I don't have to pay you jerks anymore.

Sigh...sorry. I'm rambling again. I'm good now.



~~~~~~~~
together is a perfect place to be because it's there that you can be delightfully imperfect. and there's nothing closer to perfection than being loved just because you are. 

Reply
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