A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 2:14 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Chace and I broke up a few days before our 4 year anniversary. We got engaged in August 2008 and broke up Jan 2009. Everything was working against us and there was so much and we should never have gotten engaged to begin with.

I will always love Chace because when I met him, I was so broken and he put me back together. He made me whole again and he is the reason I have faith, love, and trust to give to others.

I truly believe he was the bridge that I needed to cross to get to Nate.

He has done so much for me and he says I did just as much for him. So, we were a great team. And he will always be a part of my life and so will his family who is technically MY family not his! It's the reason we are so close. We love each other and forever will.

And I love Dr. Nate too. He's my fairy tale. He puts a smile on my face just by saying my name.

I get to devirginize him this weekend by taking him to meet my WHOLE family. Oh my. I am nervous!

Um. On my list?

I dont know. I've done a lot. Laugh everyday.

By the way, Rose, you're amazing. For dealing with being apart from your love for such a long time. I am glad he is writing you though! :)

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

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FutureMrsPrice Posts : 12 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 8:05 AM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

Good Morning Girls!

Another newbie to the forums here. I've been lurking around for a couple months now so I have a pretty good idea about all of you, so I figured it was time to come out from behind the bushes to introduce myself.

I'm Nicole (20), and FH is Luke (22). We met in highschool and dated for about a year and then broke up. He graduated and left for university, and we didn't really keep in touch. Then, during my senior year, we came back into contact with eachother and fell in love all over again. I moved to Ottawa (where he lived) to attend University. We got engaged in November 2007, thinking that Luke could support us while I finished school. Shortly after, he was let go from his job and so that idea went down the drain pretty quickly. We're now waiting until I graduate to get married, and he's currently in the process of finding another "career type job" (he's had jobs since, but nothing that could support us both financially at this point). I graduate in April of 2011, so we're hoping to have the wedding in August of 2011. However, my parents are not supportive of the engagement and everytime I bring up anything about the wedding they brush it off. So, if they are really adament that we wait longer, it may not be until June 2012 (making it a 4.5 year engagement! wow!).

So that's us in a nutshell. No date set just due to a lot of unknowns. Hopefully things get figured out soon and we can start with some more concrete plans.

I look forward to getting to know you all!

  • Nicole


wedding website

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 12:17 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsPrice

Good morning girls!!

Ugh I almost had death by pretzels!! I went to go get some sugar for my coffee out of the cabinet and a bag of pretzels fell on my head!!

Nat~ I am glad you are soooo happy, and yet can still be such close friends with Chace. Nate sounds like a great guy!!

Rose~ Your list sounds fun! I would probably have to do the whole dinner and movie thing alone, because well quiet frankly I hate to be alone. My mom was just teasing me about that the other day actually. And Bill (DH I figure since everyone else just says name I can too right?) Was talking about maybe going to Nebraska for a weekend to visit his best friend, who poor guy his wife moved back here packed up the kids, the tvs, computers, radios, everything, and left him there alone....But then Bill decided that I hate being alone, and even worse, with out a car, so he decided not to....Sorry I forgot where I was going with that. Thats great you get to see your guy so soon!!

Welcome......I am so sorry forgot your name. but welcome anyways!! I am sorry your family isn't supportive of your engagement, it sounds like you guys are being vry responsible in the planning. Good luck!! What are you going to school for??

WV~ Good to see you back!! How is life going?

So I will re-introduce myself. I am Nessa I am 23, my DH is Bill and is 31 as of yesterday! We got married on May 24 of this year, and the day was everything I imagined and more!!

so we went to look at a house last night, and WOW!! I was a little wary because techanicaly it was on my not so impressed with on paper list, but we were supposed to go look at another house close to it that we both loved on paper, and I figured we were going to be driving that far in rush hour we might as well look at more than one house, so I added that one to our list. Well the house we really wanted to see was already under contract (Which Monday was the first day on the market!) but we still got to go see this other one. I got soooooo lost looking for it because I didn't have a chance to get directions (I decided to start going out and walking with my friend a few days a week and yesterday was the first day...Yay me!) So our realtor gave me directions, but one of the streets she told me to turn on was a dead end, so I ended up just about in Kansas trying to figure out where I was. I finally got on the right road and it was really neat it was like driving through the country. There were all kinds of farms, then there were a couple little fishing ponds, then we foudn the subdivision it was in, and theres a cute little park right across the street from the house. The house was pretty great too, it has 4 beds and 2 baths (very unusual in our price range) and it even had a master suite! (even more unusual!!) It is small, but its nice, and fairly new, it was built in like 2001. So we decided to put an offer in on it, and keep our fingers crossed what happened last time doesn't happen again. So if everyone can send us good house getting vibes that would be great!!

Sorry I am not quiet sure why I am so hyper and scatter brained today, I haven't even had a full cup of coffee yet.....It may be sleep deprivation though!


 

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FutureMrsPrice Posts : 12 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 1:14 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Thanks for the welcoming words Nessa! I don't want to make it come off as though my family is completely unsupportive. They were unhappy and disappointed that we decided to get engaged so young, but they are warming up to the idea now that they've seen that we're acting responsibly by waiting to be completely sure we can afford everything we're getting into. My parents really like FH, and I'm sure that if we sit down and have a nice honest discussion with them and come to an agreement on a date that works for everyone that things will go quite smoothly. FH and I are waiting to hear back from a job that he applied to before we sit down with them though, just so they can see that we can back up everything we're saying. It might be a slow process, but I'm sure that as long as we approach it correctly, things will all work out in the end and I would much rather wait a couple extra years if it means having their blessing than to go ahead and rush into it and cause a whole bunch of drama and tention. What's a few extra years to wait when we plan on be married for the rest of our lives anyways, right? It just means I'll have more time to plan :)

As for school, I'm working on getting my bachelor of commerce with a specialization in human resource management. Right now I'm doing a co-op placement with the federal government so that's acted as a great opportunity to get my foot in the door so that I'll have some employment options upon graduation.

What do all you ladies and your FH's/DH's do for a living?

Nessa - I wish you all the best with the offer you put in for the house. It sounds like a wonderful neighbourhood and a great place! I can only imagine how stressful the whole process must be so I really do hope this works out for you!
wedding website

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 1:50 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsPrice

FutureMrsPrice~ I am glad its not that your parents don't approve of FH tat is always helpful they like him. I don't understand why so many people get so defensive that people should't get married young. Yes there are people that really shouldn't but since being on this site I have seen so many women that are sooo mature and ready for marrage and it breaks my heart when other people belittle them for being to young. You and FH sound like you are doing it just right, and waiting shouldn't be an issue since you have been waiting for a while already.


 

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lala8735 Posts : 1 Registered: 7/20/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 4:34 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Hi everyone, I'm new here...
Just some background: I'm 19, FH is 21. We're planning on getting married next May or June (2010). We both attend the same college and are working towards undergraduate degrees. FH will graduate in Spring 2011 and I will graduate in Winter 2011. There have been mixed reactions about our age, and let's just say my parents are a little more than turned off by the idea. They want us to wait until I graduate to get married. We want to go ahead and do it next summer for many reasons. His family supports us and I am hoping that during this upcoming year they will at least respect our decision. On happier terms, I am really excited to be planning a wedding, even on such short notice! I'm also glad to have support from this group where I won't be looked down upon :)

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SourPeaches Posts : 8 Registered: 7/8/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 9:02 PM Go to message in response to: lala8735




My family, so far, has been ridiculously, invasively
supportive. They can probably tell that I could never do better than FH. I went
over to my mom's to help her repaint, and she flat out asked me, "So, when
are you gonna marry him?" I told her I thought she'd think I was too young,
and she was said "Anyone who'd say that doesn't know you, so screw
'em". Apparently she mentioned it to my aunt, too, because my aunt told me
out of no where "It's better to get married young, or else you could end
up an old spinster like me." I had no idea how to respond to that, so I
figured the best I could do is share her advice.

I'm starting to be less weirded out by the whole idea. Originally, I was pretty
sure that if I told people who knew me that I was getting married, they'd start
laughing hysterically. Wedding are so sentimental and I'm kind of... cold and
robot-like? That's sad to say but my friends would agree. So Would FH. Anyway,
my anxieties are gradually starting to be replaced with excitement over the
wedding novelties that appeal to me, like the foofy dress and being fussed over
by vendors.

NessaRae - We put an offer on a house today too! It's a "short sale"
however, meaning that the seller is about to be foreclosed upon and the bank
that holds their mortgage gets the final say on our offer. Short sales,
contrary to what the name might imply, take forever. You'll probably have
finished moving in before we hear back from the bank.

So someone asked what everyone does for a living, and I can't resist: My boyfriend is
and auctioneer and appraiser, and I am a stripper.

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Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 29, 2009 11:16 PM Go to message in response to: SourPeaches

.

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 30, 2009 12:30 AM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

My parents were insanely supportive too. They adored Chace and they adore Nate. They still thought I was young but I always got what I wanted and I am stubborn!

As for jobs and what we do. I am a student going into 4th year in Politcal Science and History. I am pre-law. My boyfriend is, clearly, a doctor. I also work at my ex's family company in the legal department.

I am actually at work right now. I am pulling in as many hours as possible since I will be gone for such a long time. They need me. Glad I trained Julian in my stuff because if no one knew how to do the things I do, they would be screwed.

I got a haricut. I trimmed the ends and got disconnected layers which I LOVE! She did a greattt job!
I bought some new dresses. One for Saturday, a summer one, and a cute LBD for my great-grandmother's party! I love them!

Speaking of, I should pay my credit card tomorrow.

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

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Rose217 Posts : 475 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 30, 2009 12:31 AM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

Natasha- That's wonderful that you and Chace can remain on friendly terms and appreciate what you did for the other. And thank you for the kind words. Every couple has struggles that help them become stronger and that's what distance has done for us. I have to admit though, I'm almost looking forward more to moving and living with FH than graduating college in Dec!

MrsPrice- Welcome! I used to lurk too before I ever started posting ;it's a good way to learn how the community works around here. Sometimes I wonder how many people read this thread, it obviously can't be just the few of us who regularly contribute, but this is a forum so it's expected. ;) Congrats on being engaged and I'm glad your family is slowly becoming more supportive. It sounds like you've got a good attitude towards this whole marriage thing so it will work out.

Nessa- Oh I feel bad for Bill's best friend. Broken and divorced families make me so sad for the children involved. I think (epiphany here) that if I were to get divorced... after I had children... I would define my life and myself as an utter failure. Hm. Well, my parents aren't failures after their divorce and it's likely I'll redefine my life purpose and standards after I have kids, but getting divorced is one of my greatest... not fears, not repulsions, ah I dont' know the word.

A house outside of the city would be great! I will keep my everything crossed for you!!!

Keri- Hi and welcome! I'm getting married next June and have just started planning so we can figure this out together if you stick around. You said there are many reasons you and FH don't want to wait till graduation in 2011 to get married, care to share what those are?

Peaches- My only real forays into the wedding business so far is dress shopping and it's been a lot of fun, partly cause the vendors do "fuss over me" but mostly cause it's playing dress up like I've never gotten to before! Weddings don't have to be cold and traditional though, there are lots of ways to make them bright, fun, original and unique to you and your FH! Check out www.bravobride.com as a starting point to see how cool weddings can be. What kind of wedding are you and FH looking to have?

Autumn- Cute new avatar, now I want to change my profile pic! lol. The List my friend and I made has been a lot of fun. Since you asked what was on it, I'll share the whole thing (assume they're all meant to be done alone (yay independence!) unless otherwise obvious):
1. Eat at a sit down restaurant
2. Watch a movie at a theater
3. Go to the farmer's market
4. Buy yourself flowers from the market
5. Have a drink at a bar by yourself (I'm going to do this soon I hope!)
6. Go shopping and buy a dress ( I wear skirts 5/7 days a week but own one dress I bought last summer and have never worn out yet. So 6 and 7 are challenging. ;))
7. Wear dress out!
8. Prepare a nice meal for yourself
9. Host a mini dinner party
10. Body modification: me: waxing at home (oh god, going to do this soon and scared) friend: get tattoo by herself
11. Do strengths/pilates twice a week
12. Attend live music outside (alone, again of course)
13. Make art-- an expression of self (in a medium you don't usually use. No photo for me!)
14. Write a letter to yourself on summer solstice to be opened exactly one year later
15. Letter to self to be opened at marriage (this was before I was engaged, now 14 and 15 coincide, ha)
16. Sew an article of clothing or an accessory
17. Grow and keep alive a plant from seed
18. Create a self portrait you're happy with
19. Write and send letters and postcards to friends and family
20. Go to a museum by yourself
21. Explore a new area/neighborhood/district in your own city
22. Learn a new skill: me: massages, friend: juggling
23. Sudy languages: me; German, Korean, Spanish; friend: French, Latin
24. Visit relatives by yourself
25. Personal goals: me: read and burn old journals; friend: get a library card
26. Be promiscuous (for my friend, who is finally over her bf that dumped her two years ago) and be faithful (for me, no problem ;))
27. Ipod music: me: fix my battery; friend: buy one!
28, 29, and 30 are all pretty personal so PM me if you really want to know and are non-judgemental and don't mind TMI. ;)

Any ideas of what else I could add to it? Or you would/will you put on yours?

That's great that you're nearly settled in your new house! I started packing today, even though it's 1.5 weeks until I move out. I've got the itch to be productive and organize my stuff! I'm excited to move into my new place, but I just know that my first night there alone I'm going to look around and feel all mopey and miss the house and people I live with now, lol. Grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Well I've got to go shower and get some sleep, talk to you all later!



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GollumsGirl Posts : 57 Registered: 7/7/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Jul 30, 2009 4:24 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Rose - it's so cool that you and your FH are writing every night, and that you are getting to do all these things you have on a list. I never quite had a list, but because I was 100% single for over 10 years, I did everything I could think of to do before I was attached. This includes dining alone, going to a movie alone, and going on a mission trip with complete strangers. Since Nathan and I got together, we have been basically inseparable. Our friends got together about 2 weeks before us and have been married a year now, but they lived 4 hours apart until marraige. In some ways this is good, as you and your FH are experiencing now, getting to know each others heart without the distraction of physical love. Our friends had this and it makes me wish that Nathan and I could go deeper in the talking side of our relationship, but instead we are always busy going and doing things.
I think so far my favorite place that I have gone is Italy, but I only got to see a little of it, it was in fact the above mentioned mission trip. I want to go an see all of it and be able to spend more time in towns being with the real people, as well as going to see the attractions.
As for the Honeymoon, we don't have any real plans yet, we have tossed around one idea. There are these tours that are like 17 days long, 1 day travel, 5 days in London, 5 days in Paris, 5 days in Rome, then 1 day travel home. I would love to do something like that, only not on a guided tour telling me where to go when, I want to take my time. So I am friends with a Travel Agent and we were thinking of asking her if she can get us something like that at a decent price. It would be so fun!!

Nessa - Good luck with the house, it sounds like it could be nice!

Future Mrs Price - welcome to the boards, I also agree with the way you and Luke are handling the engagement and timing of marriage.
As for jobs, I am a bookkeeper for small businesses, it's not a lot of work right now, but it's growing. My bf is a computer repair tech and home theater installer. Actually, he is just a really handy guy to have around, so people pay him to do things that they either can't or don't want to do. It also isn't as busy as we would like, but growing little by little. He is planning to apply at Starbucks to cover the basics and then we can have more money to save for other stuff.
wedding tickers

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Aug 3, 2009 12:02 PM Go to message in response to: GollumsGirl

Hey girls!!

How was everyones weekend? Its been awefully quiet in here lately.

So we are supposed to hear about the house today, or possibly tomorrow, I think it depends on how many offers they got and how long it takes to go through them.

We found another house we liked yesterday if this doesn't work out. I don't know if we would even have a chance at it, but theres no way to tell if we don't at least try. It is listed at the VERY top of our price range, which is above what we could comfertably afford. Its another HUD home so same thing of taking offers until a certain date, and then choosing the best offer. I have noticed these houses seem to go for more than asking price because they are sooo far below the market price. But we will put in an offer in that we are comfertable with and see where it gets us. It was so nice, its almost like a detached townhouse. Its 2 stories, 3 bed and 2.5 bath, it has a basement they started finishing, and a 2 car garage. The draw back though is there isn't really a yard. The sid of the house has a pretty big patio, but thats it. But there is a park across the street from this one too.

I can't wait untill we find a house and can get on with our lives!!


 

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Rose217 Posts : 475 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Aug 3, 2009 6:36 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

EDIT: In my last post, I recommended the wrong website to see how fun weddings can be. The site I meant to say is Offbeat Bride, at www.offbeatbride.com. It's run like a blog with daily updates of real off-beat couples, unique ideas, and cool vendors. "Off-beat" is a a very broad term that basically defines anything non-traditional when it comes to weddings, so check it out for interesting ideas and fun ways to do things at your own wedding. I just joined their Ning community, the Offbeat Bride Tribe, this past weekend and I LOVE it! I swear I don't work for them, lol.

Nessa: GOOD LUCK with the house search! Let us know what the news is tomorrow!

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SourPeaches Posts : 8 Registered: 7/8/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Aug 4, 2009 12:31 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217




Nessa - I know exactly what you mean when you say you just
want to get on with your lives. J gets more excited than I do about the houses
we've looked at (or maybe he just hates our apartment more), so every time an
offer gets rejected or a house is bought before we can make an offer on it, he
goes all emo like "we'll never buy a house and we'll just have to live in
this apartment forever and then when our lease expires we'll have to go live in
a cardboard box under the bridge in tyler park and Dog will die of
exposure..." We've only been looking since May but it's starting to be so
emotionally draining. I hope you get the house you made an offer on!

We're flying up to visit my family in Boston
tomorrow, which is going to be really nice. J might propose, but I really don't
think so. If he managed to get a ring without me noticing anything suspicious
I'd be really impressed. Also, he acted like he thought I wanted to get married
summer 2011, even though we had a pretty explicit conversation where HE said that
he wanted to do it NEXT summer and I was like, "that works for me."
It was very surprising, so I'm not sure if we really misunderstood each other
or he was trying to throw me off his scent. He’s a pretty brilliant schemer, so
I wouldn’t put it past him, but more likely he’ll propose in December. Which is
kind of lame, because planning a wedding in 5 months sounds possibly stressful,
but waiting another year sounds tedious and unnecessary.


In response to Rose - I guess I would like a fairly low key sort of thing. I
don’t really like making a spectacle of myself, which is most of what a wedding
is, so I’d like to deemphasize that part, ideally, and just throw a good party.
In my wildest fantasies, we get the house we just put an offer on, and we can
do the whole reception thing in the big ol’ backyard that property has. I have
a friend (he was a professor of mine) who owns and lives in a church, and a
couple of his other students got married in it, so I think that would be nice,
and I wouldn’t be competing for a certain date like at a fancy public venue.
Plus, he lives two blocks from the house we’re trying to buy, so everyone could
just walk to the reception. This is my dream wedding.

I have totally seen offbeat bride, and I am now of the
belief that planning a wedding basically consists of making my closest
girlfriends spend a day gluing vintage buttons together, which sounds fantastic.
I really like that website, and I would join their forum if I didn’t feel like
such an unengaged fraud.

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Aug 4, 2009 12:33 PM Go to message in response to: SourPeaches

So we didn't get the house. I am getting sooo frustrated. Our lease is up the end of this month, and if we go month to month it goes up over $100 but if we resign, then it goes down $30. I think I had a panic attack last night because it seems everything is against us on the house hunt. We haven't even gotten to see half the houses we are interested in because they sold before we got a chance. The houses we have seen are horrible. The few we fell in love with one was already sold when we saw it, one someone offered $45k over the asking price, now this one someone offered $15k over the asking price. I was a little worried about our offer because it seemed to high looking at the comps. The only houses in that area that were going anywhere near what the other person offered were fully redone with wood floors, ceramic tile, stainless steel appliances and what not. This one wasn't in very good shape. So now I don't know if we are even gonna keep wasting our time because we found out the HUD homes we have been putting offers on the bank WILL not pay closing costs, and we don't have $3500-5000 to throw down. We're using an advance on the $8000 for a downpayment since we don't even have that. So our realtor was suppose to speak with our mortgage broker and see what we should do. DH just wants to give up, and part of me does to. But I was looking forward to getting a dog soooooo bad, and DH is dead set on you do not have a dog in an apartment. Plus even if I could confince him its ok, our apartment doesn't allow dogs. For some reason all this is hitting me sooooooo hard and I can not stop crying like a total retard.

Sour~ It took me 9 months to plan my wedding, and quite frankley, about 2 or 3 months before the wedding I was totaly over planning. I hated it and wanted nothing to do with it. I am like you and I hate being the center of attention, so I dreaded the wedding. But it turned out great, everyone had a great time. And apaarently my Grandpa has been bragging to my uncles that couldn't make it that they missed a great wedding. It was even better than my cousins who cost a hell of a lot more than mine. I think your idea sounds great! I was watching House Hunters, or My First Place (I forget which one) the other day and the couple was actually here in my town, looking for a house to have their wedding at. They wanted to do it all in the back yard, so a big yard was a must have for them.

Well I better get back to work!


 

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