Questions about attendant's gifts

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jmorgan0998 Posts : 5 Registered: 7/9/09
Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 12:27 PM

Okay, here is our situation. My finance and I are paying for the entire wedding, reception and honeymoon. Last week FH freaked out about how much this is costing us and wants to skip the buying of his groommen's gifts. He said that if I wanted to go ahead and purchase gifts for my girls, I could. But I am thinking that if the girls get gifts so should the men. We haven't discussed flower girl, etc. We have a total of 14 people to buy for. What do you all think is the etiquette with buying gifts. Is it necessary??? Any advise would be great.

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 12:35 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

I don't know if its necessary, but I think its the right thing to do. They don't need to be expensive gifts - as long as they are small tokens to show your appreciation, the job is done. It will look very bad if you buy something for the girls and he doesn't give the groomsmen anything.

 

 

P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 1:40 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

Dear JM,

Typically, wedding party gifts are given at the rehearsal dinner. It's going to look kind of bad if the girls get things but the guys get nothing.

My suggestion to you is to come up with a total price for all gifts, then divide accordingly. You may have to downscale the gifts you give the ladies to accomodate everyone.

I feel for you, I really do. Wedding expenses just keep adding up and it's tough to stick with a budget. Having said that, it might have been nice, in hindsight, if you would have thought of gift expenses when you signed up 14 people. Hindsight is 20/20, after all, but that doesn't do you any good now.

Just do the best you can with the money you have. Even a box of homebaked cookies would be a nice present, and you can do that all yourself for just the cost of the ingredients and a pretty box.

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sillymonkey Posts : 48 Registered: 4/6/08
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

I have a few suggestions....
the girls- why not flip flops that you can get at a deep discount right now especially old navy. I got mine at jo anns for $2 a pair! Than stuff they can use that day like blotting papers for t zone shine ( you can get a pack from Neutrogena and just divide them up into a pretty little bag or ziploc), lip gloss, bobby pins, safety pins, etc. You can even get little makeup bags at the dollar store, etc.
the guys-an inexpensive tie $10 or less from Target or anywhere, put together a day pack of gum or breath mints, chap stick, their favorite candy, or a koozie (things that go around cans), tylenol (sorry about spelling) if they have a headache or too much to drink, or a swiss army knife (they have several at things to remember under $10 or go to any store in the camping area), stuff to clean their car, etc
flower girl- coloring book, board game, etc
ring bearer- any type of toy

Hope this helps. I went to Michaels and bought the bags in bulk for $5 or so, Bath and body for the emory board ($1) and other stuff. Good luck

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ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 2:18 PM Go to message in response to: sillymonkey

I agree with both Aunt and Sillymonkey. I love the idea of inexpensive but personal goody bags.

If there is a Kohl's near you, I would suggest looking there as well. I always find cute fashion jewelry for $4-5 a piece, and their ties, flip flops, and other accessories are also sometimes really cheap on sale.

Finally, if you have the time, you could always make them something. Even a hand painted photo frame with a quote about friendship could be cherished and inexpensive.
My Planning Blog

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SteffMay2009 Posts : 383 Registered: 10/22/08
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 4:14 PM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

I agree with the PP. I spent $75 on each of my girls and you know what their favorite gift was? A collaged frame I made them using clippings from cosmo magazine and a dollar store frame. I made each collage relevant to each girl's different personality the decoupaged it onto a frame that was literally a $1. Then I put a pic of all of us at my shower in it. They were all comparing them and I've seen them out at 2 girls houses already. Doesn't have to be expensive to be meaningful. Word of warning.. the frames took A LONG time to make.. so budget accordingly!


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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

If you give us what your budget is, we can come up with ideas.

For $10 a piece, you can put a picture on a mug online, using any one of a number of sites. I did that -- I put a pic of me and the bridesmaid on the mug, with a friendship-related quote on the other side. Easy enough to do that with the groomsmen, too.

__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 23, 2009 6:07 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

To go on what MsD said, you can also get mouse pads, keychains, and any number of trinkets online for very little money. I would even suggest Vistaprint, the site that many use for their printed paper items, for these types of things.
My Planning Blog

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jmorgan0998 Posts : 5 Registered: 7/9/09
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 24, 2009 10:23 AM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

Thanks everyone for the replies. Yesterday afternoon, after searching the web, I came up with a great, inexpensive gift for everyone and FH agrees and we will be getting them this weekend. The problem was that we planned for a simple, inexpensive wedding and quite frankly, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and more expensive. I have been so furgel (sp?) on everything. It's just crazy.

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Stephy77 Posts : 109 Registered: 9/2/08
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 24, 2009 2:22 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

I am sure you've already thought of this stuff but just in case one way to save money is not to get caught up in the "you have to" You do not have to have programs, engraved cake cutters, engraved champagne flutes, expensive cake toppers etc. If your credit card or back card has a rewards program see if they have gift cards to target that is how I got my card box and guest book for zilch. Really for me though the biggest savings was keeping the guest list in check.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 24, 2009 2:41 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

Dear JM,

I'm glad you were able to find something suitable.

"The problem was that we planned for a simple, inexpensive wedding and quite frankly, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and more expensive."

That happens a lot. I have to echo what Stephy said. Be ruthless in thinking of the "must-haves" vs "nice-to-have-but-optional". Wedding vendors will make you feel as if you won't be truly married if you don't have personalized toasting flutes serve lobster thermidor.

All you really need is a willing bride, a willing groom, a license and an officiant. (Or, in some states, two willing brides or two willing grooms.) You are just as married as the folks with horse-drawn carriages, dove releases and couture gowns.

("Frugal")

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jmorgan0998 Posts : 5 Registered: 7/9/09
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 24, 2009 2:58 PM Go to message in response to: Stephy77

No, I completely understand about the "must haves". My mom was trying to have me have programs, and expensive candies on tables, I just told her I had to stop at somewhere. Guest list was the biggest thing. We actually found a banquet center for the reception that only charged $23.45 per person including china and silverware so we kept the list to 100 people because that was the lowest number we could go. I know that we have done really well with the costs, but my FH is shocked over everything.

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sillymonkey Posts : 48 Registered: 4/6/08
Re: Questions about attendant's gifts
Posted: Jul 24, 2009 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: jmorgan0998

jp- mine was shocked too. He wanted the wedding I wanted to elope. LOL It's a guy think not knowing what goes into a wedding. Have a great wedding day!

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