Tattooed Sister

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Tattooed Sister
Posted: Jun 25, 2009 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: JaVeisha

I don't want her to cover them all just the leg

Sooo, put your girls in long dresses--if they're not too formal, they'll still be fine for outdoors (is yours long? There, see?) I agree that an obscenity issue might be a reason to cover up. As for her face--well, hmmm--a burka, perhaps? Ski mask? Or Dermablend might do it. As much as I usually promote "Accept her as she is," it sounds like she's being particularly "in your face" about the tattoos. I might find myself getting somewhat pissed off at her attitude ("I'm not going to be in it if you ask me to cover up.")
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

Edited by: myra on Jun 25, 2009 7:49 PM

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BostonBrideJuly... Posts : 7 Registered: 5/21/09
Re: Tattooed Sister
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 5:00 PM Go to message in response to: JaVeisha

This is a tricky situation. I would say that your relationship with your sister is more important than keeping your vision of the tattooless bndesmaids.

I don't have tattoos, but my best friend has a sleeve, chest, hand and toe tattoos. At her brother's wedding, her stepmother always gently asked her to cover up for the family functions. She did, but it really hurt her feelings, made her feel like an outsider and, compiled with other things, really drove a wedge between her and her family.

For a lot of people, being tattooed is their personal expression. Unless she is planning on having it removed, asking her to cover it up is hurtful.

I do understand your initial reaction though! I felt this way too and worried that the shock of my friend's look would somehow take away, or take attention, or be what people remembered. But then I realized how AWFUL that was. I want my wedding to be about celebrating love, and celebrating the comiong together of two familites, and the other concerns that I had were beyond petty.


Good luck! Let us know how it turns out.



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FuturamaMama Posts : 6 Registered: 7/25/06
Re: Tattooed Sister
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 9:27 PM Go to message in response to: JaVeisha

I'm glad I read through all the posts and saw your second posting. I was very ready to say "c'mon missy...you knew about her tatoos before you asked her" but if she got all this done after you asked her to be in the wedding and you are simply asking her to cover up a profanity...well that's a different story...and i don't think it's fair for the rest of your BMs to have to suffer through in long dresses for an outdoor warm weather wedding because that is the only way to compromise with one person over covering up a tatoo. (I was a BM in the middle of July in a long dress...it was miserable.)
There is a degree of 'if you care about your sister you won't care about this' but then there's a degree of 'if your sister cared about you, she'd let you have your day the way you want it'
I would ask her what a compromise she'd be comfortable with. And if she's saying it's all or nothing, than SHE's making the decision to not be involved anymore...not you.
It also might be prudent to not bring it up for a while, maybe you too have been butting heads so much that she's feeling like these tatoos are the only thing you care about. Maybe make plans to spend some sister time with out talk of the wedding or tatoos. remind each other why you are not just family but friends in the first place and i think that will definitely make finding compromise easier.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Tattooed Sister
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 10:45 PM Go to message in response to: JaVeisha

Oh, well you should have told us that about her leg tattoo in the first place to avoid certain responses :-p So just have her wear a long dress to cover it up. If the wording is small on her leg I doubt that peope will notice, but yea just have her wear a long dress.
                              

 

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JennHatesWaiting Posts : 74 Registered: 1/14/09
Re: Tattooed Sister
Posted: Jun 27, 2009 3:37 AM Go to message in response to: JaVeisha

I do agree on asking for the leg one to be covered. At least the "F*ck" part of it. I know sometimes thinking about your wedding you get kinda buried into it and its hard to see how other people looking in may view certain things. I'm not sure if you are worried about how the photos will look, or how other people might view the tattoos or what. My thought/question is how large of a wedding is this? I ask because if its on the smaller side I would assume most people would have met or know your sister and would not even think twice about the tattoos. If its a large wedding, where there will be lots of people that may not have met your sister there may be a few double looks, but really, at a wedding the BRIDE and GROOM are the focus. Who cares what others think. She is your sis, no matter what. I would forget about the tattoos and focus on other things.

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rubyred1 Posts : 968 Registered: 8/9/07
Re: Tattooed Sister
Posted: Jun 27, 2009 12:35 PM Go to message in response to: JennHatesWaiting

I would probably ask her to cover up the offensive tattoo. What does your sister have tattooed on her face? Is it huge, or small? BM has two wrist tattoos, and two that go down the backs of his arms. To be honest, I completely forgot he had tattoos until I was looking through pictures and I saw them. I would not have asked him to cover them up though, they are a part of who he is. One of my BM's and I also have tattoos on our backs, but if they were in a visible place, I would not have asked her to cover them up. I do understand about the leg tattoo though, I might be a little offended if she is adamant about keeping that one uncovered at your wedding, which is supposed to celebrate love.


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