He might be proposing on July 4th

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EllaBride27 Posts : 3 Registered: 6/16/09
He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 2:09 PM




Hi everyone! I’m new to the sight and I really need your
help as I’m dying over here. Long story short I was sure that my boyfriend was
going to propose to me on our one year anniversary but that came and went to my
partial disappointment because there was no proposal!! A few weeks later we
were talking about the engagement and he said he thought my birthday (July 2nd)
was a better idea. I didn’t acknowledge him when he said it because I don’t want
to know! It’s a supposed to be a surprise!!

Now it’s about 2 ½ weeks until my birthday. 2 weeks ago we
were cleaning out his drawers at his parents house and when I got to his sock
drawer he became very flustered and told me to get boxes from downstairs. I
asked him if he was hiding anything and he said “No” unable to keep the grin
off of his face. After about 2 minutes back and forth of this he physically
picked me up and put me outside of his room. I barged back in and picked up his
year book facing away from the dresser and pretended to be enthralled. Then I
heard him leave. It took everything inside of me not to peek in the drawer
while he was gone. When he came back in the room I went to the sock drawer and
started moving stuff around and he didn’t care. He must’ve moved it.

I asked him what he was hiding and said it was my birthday
gift, that it was small and he didn’t want me to see it yet, and that I should
mind my own business.

At dinner last week I asked him if my gift was what I thought
it was and he said “I didn’t know you were going ‘there’ with trying to guess
what it was. No. I’m sorry that’s not it.”

I thought I was going to cry. Even now I feel like if my
birthday comes and goes and there is no ring I don’t know what I will do. He
talks about being married to me and our wedding and married life all the time,
but so far – no push behind it. I feel like I’m freaked out more at the idea
that he wont propose, and how that will make me feel. I’m so bummed.

All your thoughts would be truly appreciated.

Thanks,

*L

        • ************ ************************************** ******************************* **********************




I understand completely what all of you are saying about not
anticipating the proposal. I do not feel as though being together for only ‘one’
year should have anything to do with how long I should or shouldn’t consider waiting.
Sometimes all of the waiting feels like a game. I never even considered myself in
any marriage until I met him. And I know I’ll be with him for the rest of my
life (because when you know you really do just know) and I am beyond excited
for that part of our lives to start, which also isn’t unreasonable.

My apologies as well, I didn’t mean to inflect that anyone
over 25 is lost in old age land, it was just about how I’ll feel when I turn 25. My Mother died this year, perhaps the
sadness of turning 25 is just in the fact that I’ll miss her when I turn 25
without her and not that I’ll be too ‘old’. But how could you have known?

Anyway thank you for taking the time to consider me and
judge me. I was really just hoping that any one of you would write “sounds like
he might be getting ready to propose to me!” because in my heart I think he is.
Thank You for your time, congratulations to all engaged and good luck for
everyone.

*L


Edited by: EllaBride27 on Jun 16, 2009 3:12 PM

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 2:27 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

You are probably going to get upset with me but you asked so I will answer. Why are you getting yourself so worked up over nothing? You have been with this guy a year that is not a long time. If you had been with him 15 - 20 years and no ring I would maybe be concerned but one year is not a lot of time. You are only 24 so what is the rush? You have your whole life ahead of you. Why not just enjoy being with him and when/if the time comes it will be right. Why would you want him to get you a ring because he feels pressured to do so. That is not the way to do it. Just relax and enjoy life if you are meant to marry this man it will happen.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 2:43 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

I'm sorry, you can't have it both ways--either "it's supposed to be a surprise," or you want to know right now and will nag him until he tells you. And, if he DID intend to propose around your birthday (but you've let him know that "it's supposed to be a surprise"), then it's your nagging that will push him to change the time (to surprise you). You don't have to be passive. It is your life and you have every right to open a discussion about marriage, where, when, and how. But, as I said, you can't have it both ways. If you want the surprise proposal, then you're just going to have to let it be a surprise.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 3:08 PM Go to message in response to: myra

I agree with both Kennys and Myra. Here is something very valuable I have learned in life

"Do not base your happiness on someone else's anticipated behavior".

Its good to dream about the future, to make goals for your life and to work towards them but this involves the things you can control. You can neither control nor predict anyone else's future behavior with complete accuracy.

With the kind of thinking you have right now you have the potential of taking away the fun of the proposal from your boyfriend, taking the fun out of the proposal for yourself and ruining your 25th birthday. How much fun does that sound? Also please note that there are brides of many ages on this message board. I would avoid the I am almost 25 statements. I was the ripe old age of 38 when I married. If I had spent the first 20 years of my adult life anticipating proposals or those types of things I think I would have been pretty miserable. As it turns out I had a great single life and now I have a great married life.

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MrsS2010 Posts : 336 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 8:48 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

You know what? It sounds like he just might be getting ready to propose to you :)

Whether thats true or not, I know it feels good to hear lol - I'm in kind of, somewhat, a similar situation :) Congrats on your pre-engagement whenever that may be! I luckily managed to get over the "driving myself crazy with anticipation" period. Well it lasted about a week lol. Now I'm just excited but not thinking all that much about it...I figured it'll happen whether I anticipate it or not lol

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 10:29 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

Ellabride I don't think anyone wants to rain on your parade, but we also don't want to build up your hopes in case it doesn't happen. If everyone here said "Yay he's going to propose" and he didn't that would add even more disappointment. There have been other posters who come on after every birthday, major holiday or other signicant date and tell us there is still no ring. We don't know your potential FH so how could we begin to know what he is thinking? If you come back on July 12th and tell us he proposed then everyone will say "Yay!"

As far as the 25 year old comment, I didn't take it personally as I know I waited for the right guy. I said that so that if you become a regular poster you will know that some people are sensitive about age comments. You have your own reasons for your timeline and thats understandable, but only after you explained it :)

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 11:15 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Sorry about the loss of your mother I know that is hard. Been there. It is not like anyone is saying it won't happen I am saying don't get yourself worked up looking for it to happen on your birthday or the holiday. If you get all excited and you get tickets to a concert you will be so disappointed that it didn't happen that you will not even happy about the concert even if it is your favorite group. If you go into the coming days thinking my birthday is coming and he has something special planned because it is your birthday and not because you think you are getting a ring it will be a wonderful day. If you do receive a ring it will be that much better.

True story my husband and I were in the middle of a major argument when he proposed. I was screaming at him about something and he said you sound just like a wife. Will you be mine. That stopped me dead in my tracks. It took me a minute to grasp what he said. I made him repeat it to be sure. That was a surprise proposal. It wasn't an occasion it has no signifcance whatsoever it was just a day.

If you just let it happen when it is supposed to happen it will be so much better than if you are always on pins and needles. Always looking for it to happen. Just relax and let it happen, I promise you will be so glad you did.

Like Tanis said when it happens and you come back and tell us about we will be very happy for you. We just don't want you to loss sight of what might otherwise be a really great day. 25 is a really big deal it was for me.


 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

wedding websites

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headoverheels8 Posts : 80 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 1:57 AM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

I've been in that boat. I've been dating the same guy for 3 years and was ready to be engaged after 6 months. Don't get your hopes up. I was the same way always getting excited about every holiday, and it made me sick to my stomach whenver i was disappointed time and time again. I cried A LOT whenever I found out my friends got engaged and i hated feeling so jealous. Anyway, I tried my hardest to stop thinking about it and I started feeling better, knowing that it will happen when the time is perfect. so don't fall into the pit of hoping every holiday. You will feel like crap and its hard to stop feeling that.

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EllaBride27 Posts : 3 Registered: 6/16/09
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

All of you are so sweet, thank you.

Kennysoldwife, Myra, Tanis I know now your only looking out for me, thank you for being patient. It's really strange to be in this boat, and perhaps come July I will be able to tell you something good. If not consider me not jumping off a bridge but somewhere else being happy anyway. At least I promise to try...
Mrs2010 - :) thanks for indulging me ... lol it really did make me feel better. Even if it might not be true...
Headoverheels - I can relate. Thats what I started to feel like on our anniversary. And I cried too, just not in front of him.

After all of this I dont want to feel that way anymore. I've got a lot to think about on my birthday besides engagment and thats just to have a really memorable first birthday without my Mother, for my mother - and for myself I guess. Of course if he decided to propose to me during that time frame, it wouldnt hurt either...

You girls are right. I do give up on caring about this. He'll do it his way when he's ready. Thanks for talking sense to me. I know he appreciates it too... lol

Have a great day Ladies!

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LebaneseDiamond Posts : 4 Registered: 6/2/09
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 8:07 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

I am not here to judge, im here to show support to a fellow sister who is in the same boat as me. As i was reading your story, my jaw dropped! I have been with my bf for almost 6 yrs, and we are always talking about getting married. Its to the point where im just waiting for him to pop the question so we can do all the official stuff of planning. My birthday is july 5, and i have also been wondering if he is going to propose on the 4th. All i do is wait, analyze everything he says, and obsess about every occasion that comes up. My advice, if I am a reliable source cause im not engaged yet, is to have faith in him. Even if you kind of see the proposal coming, you will never know the "feeling" of being proposed too. I don't know if that makes sense, but its like signing up for bungy jumping. You know your going to jump off a bridge, but you will never know how it feels until you jump...or get pushed haha. That is the only way that I have been dealing with this waiting game. I know that he is going to propose, and i know its soon, but i will be so excited that he finally did it that it wont remember anything leading up to it. Im turning 24, and i think age has nothing to do with it. Also since you have been dating a year and want to get married its great! I dont see why you should wait too much longer. You are 25 which is a mature enough age. I truly hope you get everything that you ask for, and that your wait is almost over.
-your fellow cancer baby =D

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SamanthasDay Posts : 10 Registered: 2/1/08
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 23, 2009 12:20 PM Go to message in response to: LebaneseDiamond

pc duplicated

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SamanthasDay Posts : 10 Registered: 2/1/08
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 23, 2009 12:20 PM Go to message in response to: LebaneseDiamond

Wow. Reading these posts this morning, also dropped my jaw! My birthday is July 2nd, too, ellabride, and I know exactly how you feel!!!!
I'll be 26 this year, and we've been together 3 years now.
BUT no ring yet. It could be anyday now. I'm trying to distract myself too, and enjoy our life together.

I am glad he is trying to throw you off... that's the sweetest thing he could do for you, knowing you want it to be a surprise!

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EllaBride27 Posts : 3 Registered: 6/16/09
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 25, 2009 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

OR he might be... getting me a laptop??

I had already convinced myself that he is not proposing to me next week. So yesterday I asked him if we had anything going on for my birthday. He said "wow I can't believe that's next week already. I dont know, it's kind of hard to plan anything since we'll be at my paren'ts shore house with my family".

So because I really convinced myself he's not proposing next week what do I do? I get blustery eyed and choked up and tell him that I can't not do something special for my birthday because my mom and I always did something special and if it's not just as special to him than that will break my heart. (just incase he's not proposing and really didn't plan anything for me)

Then he says: Baby, it is special, your birthday is going to be awesome okay? And I believe him. But then he comes home from work and says this: So I was thinking, I mean I couldn't do it on your birthday, but what if I get you ... a laptop for your birthday, it would have to be a couple of weeks after, but would you like that?

So there it is ladies. I may not be getting my e-ring on my birthday. Instead I might be getting that brand new laptop I've had my eye on. And without my e-ring it's going to be a Mac...

thoughts??


I carry your heart (My Love) I carry it in my heart. 

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 25, 2009 2:39 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

This is exactly why I stand by my prior post. You are focused on what you are not getting instead of what you are. If you take away the expectation and hope of a proposal, what are you left with? A LAPTOP, A FREAKING LAPTOP! I bet normally this would be very exciting for you, as it would be for a lot of people and during this economy when some people struggle to come with a few bucks for a gift you are getting a very expensive gift that you want. Thats awesome! Besides that a lap top is the kind of guy a gives to a woman he plans on marrying one day.

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ToyToy09 Posts : 224 Registered: 6/3/09
Re: He might be proposing on July 4th
Posted: Jun 25, 2009 2:53 PM Go to message in response to: EllaBride27

...Mac's are pretty fly :)

...he is messing with you. LOL. You are giving him too much power over you for this ring. Just forget that he is getting you one. That's when you will get it.


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