TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 1:24 PM


This place can be kind of confusing when you first arrive so here are some tips to get you started


  • TYPING IN CAPS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF SHOUTING, so if you are typing your entire post in caps you are shouting at us the whole time. Use sparingly for emphasis
  • Very long - If you are starting a thread and you know it's going to be long, it's a good idea to type ‘very long' in the title because if someone opens your thread just to find its quite long, that's five seconds of their life they will never get back. That is me making fun of us.
  • Spelling and grammar do count! You are not texting your bff. You are introducing yourself to a bunch of strangers and their impression of you is not only based on what you say but how you say it. We all make typos on occasion but repeated bad spelling, poor grammar and run on sentences make reading these kinds of posts very difficult and instead of getting answers you may get people telling you to learn how to write.
  • Just venting or ranting - If you want to vent or rant without anyone stating an opinion then write yourself a letter. When you post on a message board people will give you their opinions, even if you don't ask for them
  • If people type responses you don't like you can argue with them or ignore them. Arguing often will take your thread off into a direction you did not intend and you may end up never getting answers to whatever you posted. This is called a Trainwreck
  • Do not delete your post if you get responses you don't like. It's very annoying to put time in to help someone just to have them delete it. If you delete there is a good chance the next time you start a thread someone will tell you they won't waste their time on you just to have you delete again
  • Trolls - trolls are someone who isn't really on brides.com to be constructive and misrepresent who they are. They make stuff up, look for fights and generally are just full of it. If someone calls you a troll you had better look at how you are posting
  • Vendors - vendors should pay for advertising. If you see a post started by someone who has just joined brides.com and they are telling you how great _______ (florist, caterer, jewelry shop etc) is and a link to a website encouraging you to shop there, they are a vendor
  • Office hours - You will notice brides.com is busiest Monday to Friday 9:00 to 5:00 pm. Yes, that is when most of us are supposed to be working, but outside of those hours we've got wedding plans to make, errands to run and a FH or DH to spend time with. If you try starting a new thread at 11:00 am on Saturday night you might not get any responses
  • What happens in a thread does not necessarily stay in a thread. I have seen people calling each other names in one thread and then be completely civil to each other in another thread. People do try and keep the topics and feelings separate, but if you type something in one post and then contradict yourself in another someone will call you on it.
  • This is not youngvirginbrides.com. Anyone can post here. There are women who are not yet engaged, women who are engaged, women who are already married and occasionally a male although they usually don't stay around very long
  • There are a number of more mature women who have been married for quite awhile who are still hanging around. If you do not agree with them please do not say "Why are you even here? You are already married" some of these women are incredibly wise and give great responses particularly regarding some very sensitive topics.
  • More about the old married hags - We don't have wedding plans to make any more so we don't start threads about wedding related topics very often. If you see a thread that makes no sense at all such as someone talking about shining shoes its probably one of the old married ladies who is bored or it's an inside joke.
  • This site is addictive. That's probably why people keep coming back after they are married. We say we like to help people but really we need our fix.

I am sure there is a lot more I could say, but I know lots of you will come in and help me.


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MrsHF Posts : 368 Registered: 10/12/07
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 2:00 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Excellent post Tanis, I couldn't agree more!

The only other thing that I can think of right now is that despite what some posters on this board may think, their opinion is not the be all and end all of advice. So newbies, listen to what everyone has to say. EVERYBODY has their own opinion on certain things, and just because someone expresses theirs 1000 times in the same thread (and every other thread) doesn't make it right.

Thank-you, thank-you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.
Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 2:08 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Very well said Tanis claps

I can't stand the trolls!! They can be kinda funny at times though lol.
                              

 

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 2:26 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Brilliantly said Tanis. Just two quick things I would like to add...

If you are looking for people to just yes you and tell you what you want to hear, this is not the place to do it. If we think something is rude, in poor taste or just a bad idea, we will tell you. If we think you are wrong, we will tell you. If you want some to coddle and baby you, this is not the place.

Don't be lazy. Please don't post things like "Where can I get blue feathers in NY?" if you haven't even typed "blue feathers in NY" into google. If one of us can get 10 responses for something by typing in a search engine, so can you. If you are asking for personal recommendations, that is ok.

 

P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 2:39 PM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

And if you are going to have a super long post please seperate it into paragraphs....its easier to read. Honestly if the post is too long and no breaks i just skip it.

Previously Posted as Military Bride.

CEO of E.N.E.M.A. (Enemy Negotiations & Extraction Military Agency) A special Division of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People)

When POOP can't do it alone....they call for the ENEMA.

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: DoesntPlayNice

Tanis, what excellent tips for the newbies!

Also, know that sometimes we say inappropriate things just for the sake of being inappropriate and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.

Most disclaimers are useless, because at some point most ppl who use them end up contradicting themselves or saying something completely ridiculous and will get called on the carpet for it. So, starting with, "I'm a Christian," or "This is just my opinion, but..." is generally a piss poor way to start a thread especially if you have never said hello to people.

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 2:56 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Excellent, Tanis!!

I would add, think about what you're asking. We dont' know you and we don't know your mother, father, FH, or bitchy maid of honor. So, when you give no background information and then ask, "What should I do," nobody here really can give you an answer. And nobody can make important decisions for you. We all try to give the best advice we can, based on what we know. But in the end, it's always up to you.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Oh yea and also, please don't talk about religon in here. This is not the place for it. We all have different views and beliefs about religon so if you try to convince us about your views and beliefs then you're wasting your time.
                              

 

Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

Sign my guestbook!!! :)



 


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ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 3:17 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

LOL! the shoe-shining reference just made my day.
My Planning Blog

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

Should also mention...

1) If you're new and there's the chance that your question might be kind of common - look around first before asking! You never know, someone might have just asked the exact same question a week earlier, often times merely days before. So rather than have us reitterate what we just told someone else, look around first or search for similar topics for the answer, then if you can't find it ask. But there's times where you'll see similar threads sitting right on top of each other...

The favorite is the 1st time wedding night threads. It's cool you saved yourself and we understand you probably have questions about your wedding night, but you're not the first one to post a thread about it, asking questions, so please look to the other similar threads on here first before posting a thread that's been posted a ton of times.

2) And if you're a young bride... we understand you're excited, but don't come on here, declaring you're 16 and it's the best thing EVA and you know you met your soulmate and then get mad when the "old married hags" suggest you wait a bit and ask what the rush is to get married. You have to understand, this isn't some teenybopper forum - it's not all butterflies and rainbows, people will be blunt about they're opinions and will think you're young and if you act your age instead of acting mature, (ie: calling anyone who disagrees with you an "old married hag who is just jealous because they didn't find their soulmate at 16 and since they're married they should GTFO a Brides forum) only solidifies our "married old hag" opinions that you're too young to be getting married.

3) In addition to religion bashing... same goes for political bashing. It's great you have your opinions, but don't try to push them onto anyone. I'm not saying compromise your beliefs or views, but remember, this is a public forum, most topics regarding wedding-related things - not the best place to preach your beliefs/views, and if you do, someone here will always disagree or get upset and offended. If it's not necessary, don't bother. If you feel it is, be very careful how you word it and make sure there's no way it could come off as pushy or offensive. I say this as being someone who does practice religion, but I hate seeing religious bashing, and talking politics tends to bore me. If there's no need for it, don't say it.

Friends since December 1997, together since December 2006
September 13, 2008 I legally became his and he became mine.

I tend to write long posts - short and simple doesn't exist with me!
That's how I am, take it or leave it.

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www.moviebits.blogspot.com

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 4:09 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Oooo! I wanna play!

TIP: Please don't ask us for advice on some truly dire situation (like whether you should call off the wedding, whether your FH really loves you, or your FH is beating you) and then disappear off the face of the earth. Even if we've never spoken to you before, we really care, we want to know how it all worked out, and we worry when we don't get an update from you. So if you ask us for advice about something serious, please come back and give us an update!

TIP: If you have a general question, like 'Where do I start?', 'Is it Ok not to invite kids?' or 'How do I figure out my budget?', do a quick forum search. If you have a general question, it's probably been discussed here ad nauseum and you could benefit from reading earlier discussions on the subject. You can still ask, but very few people have the patience to answer 'How do I plan a wedding?' once a week, so you might not get many responses to a new thread. If your question is something specific, such as 'My FMIL is a nudist and insists on us having a nude wedding - what do I do?' go ahead and post it. Though in that case, I might expect to get a lot of giggles and sarcastic comments in response.

On a related note, there are several 'hot-button' issues around here, so don't be surprised if you post a seemingly innocent question and get sucked into an argument that has been ongoing for years. Depending on who is around, hot-button issues include, but are not limited to: kids at weddings, vow renewals, asking parents/random relatives to pay for weddings, honeymoon registries, and shoe-shining (hehe). There's also occasional stress on the 'who is paying for your wedding' topic and the age topic.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 7:30 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

My favorite topic (that shouldn't be here) is some variation of, "Do you think he's going to propose," or, "When is he going to propose, or, "How long should I wait for him to propose?" General answer: How the hell should we know?

Also, spelling lesson (can't help it, it's the English teacher in me):
You walk down the aisle; there are palm trees on the isle.
You are engaged to your fiance, not your finace.
You may have a dilemma, not a delima, dilemna, (or some variation).

In fact, if you misspell every second word, don't punctuate or paragraph, and can't write a proper sentence, people here will think you're stupid (or at least uneducated). That's not because we're snots--it's the way of the world. Don't use the excuse that it's just an internet site. What you write, in this case, is the "you" that you present to the public, so try to represent yourself at your best. You gain a lot more credibility that way.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 8:26 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Myra my very least favorite spelling mistake is loose, as in "How do I loose weight?" I always get a visual of someone trying to shake their fat off because it could be loose and just magically fly off of them.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 8:36 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

I personally enjoy compleatly - "I am compleatly lost, please help!"

AND

Waist - "I feel like Im waisting my money."

Newsjunkie had a thread very similar to this one a long while back, and I wrote a chapter or two of advice for newbies lol. I think hers was called Rules of the Board for Newbies or something. Ill try and find it and copy/paste what I wrote in there and put it here too.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: TIPS FOR THE NEWBIES - Very long
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 10:17 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Another tip - please make your question and situation simple and clear. There is nothing worse than a post where I literally cannot even figure out what the hell the person is even asking because its so confusing. Poor grammar, no sentence or paragraph seperation, and text speak make this situation 10x worse. Here is an example for you to enjoy:

(its not a real post, I made it up)

hi everyone my weddingis in june and i need coloropinions but i dont like pink only darkpink and my mom says red is good but i dunno what do you think maybe i should go with blue or green but itll be springso that might not work either haha oh and also my moh wantsme to comeover to helpher pick her dress should i what do u think i dunno czu im busy n have tight skedule also what time is good for ceremony 5pm? or what...wanna take pictures 2 and when do u hire a dj pls help okay


Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

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