What IS it about weddings....

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loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Apr 10, 2007 12:28 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think one thing that causes problems too is that a marriage is such a huge event that everyone (friends, family) wants to feel a part of it.  So when you are unable to include everyone in the way they want - there tends to be hurt feelings.  I am dealing with this right now as my mom is upset that I asked her brother instead of her husband to walk me down the aisle.

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FutureMrsProvost Posts : 6 Registered: 10/25/08
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 25, 2008 3:02 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

link=http://www.weddingcountdown.com
img noborderhttp://www.weddingcountdown.com/ticker/bmmm3682.png[/img]
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Message was edited by: FMP

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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 25, 2008 3:37 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsProvost

I was the only one of my nearest and dearest to be in a relationship, let alone engaged (I added a friend who is now engaged later to the WP). My best best best friend always thought she would be the first (she was upset to graduate from college without a boyfriend) but I, the serial dater, ended up settling down at 21. I know that it bugs her, so we don't talk about the wedding that much, except to let her know about functions. You have to be sensitive to the single girls, many of whom may come solo to the event as well. Honestly, I haven't heard a whole lot about the wedding pro or con in over a year. When we first got engaged, I thought my sister would kill FH!!!

 

"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 27, 2008 10:26 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Honestly I did not have any problems with my friends when I was planning my wedding.  The only problems I had was with my MIL.  My friends were absolutely wonderful - helpful & supportive - I couldn't have asked for better friends!

Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

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HillyBride92008 Posts : 207 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 27, 2008 10:31 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

I agree with the pp's about how it can become stressful because everyone wants to help. Toss into the equation that I am an only child, and I had one hell of a ride trying to calm ruffled feathers with my family and friends!!

~ Formerly CCFPrincessBride~

Hillary & Sean~ September 20, 2008 Laughing

 


 

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 27, 2008 12:01 PM Go to message in response to: HillyBride92008

I didn't even know I had problems untill about a week vefore my wedding. I am not too close to my sisters or anyone in my family for that matter. I had my 2 daughters as bridemaids and my BFF was my MOH.  One of my sisters was upset that I didn't ask her to be in my wedding.....DUH! just because she is family doesn't mean I have to have them in my wedding.  Anyway...she had no choice but to get over it. 

And I had drama with a friend of 9 years who was a BM and then dropped out due to not wanting to pay for her dress and then found out later that she was JEALOUS because we getting married before her since she had been engaged for 2 years before us. And to the best of my knowledge..they STILL haven't set a date. 

Either way...I'm glad it's over and life has gone on.  


                              

Check out my Album for wedding pics!

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 27, 2008 12:42 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Honestly, I think the problem is there all the time. You just don't see it until you REALLY have to depend on folks to come through.

then found out later that she was JEALOUS because we getting married before her since she had been engaged for 2 years before us.

and HOW is this your problem?? I never will get some folks!

                         Poster Formerly Known as beauti381

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                              Happily Married since June 21, 2008

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 28, 2008 12:30 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I didn't have time to read all the other replies so I hope I'm not repeating what several others have already said but I think there are several reasons for the problems that arise with friends during wedding planning.  Yes, jealousy could be one but I would place it farther down the list behind brides getting too caught up in the planning (no offense- I was probably one of them!) and forgetting about anything else if not becoming outright bridezillas, it can really turn people off.  I had a friend who got married several years ago who has always been kind of high strung.  Well, when she was planning her wedding she was SUCH a bridezilla that after the wedding she never spoke to one of her bridesmaids again, it has been soooo awkward since I am friends with them both.  I think her relationships with the other BM's were strained for a good long time, too.  I really don't think she knew what a 'zilla she was and I certainly wasn't going to tell her so it might be wise to remember that just because nobody is saying anything to you doesn't exactly mean you aren't acting badly... 

Also, weddings force a couple to examine their priorities more closely and when it comes down to it they may place their family above friends or vice versa, thus causing issues with those who may feel slighted.  We wanted a smaller wedding but because of the size of our families we ended up only inviting our closest of close friends, leaving many off our list who would have loved to come and I know some of them were hurt by it.  I wish it didn't have to be that way but it was the only way we could have any kind of intimate wedding- if we opened up the guest list more than we did we would have been forced to invite people we DIDN'T want there.

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mrsj2011 Posts : 31 Registered: 10/21/08
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 28, 2008 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

I agree with PP a lot is jealousy, or single friends that arent with someone and it makes them realize they dont have anyone. I have a BM who was in a good realationship then the guy left and shes been pretty depressed over it. When I told her I was engaged I only got oh congrats and onto how hard her life is. Being that we have been good friends, I expected that answer. I know its hard for her so I dont talk about my wedding a lot to her(sometimes its hard not to) but it upsets her because she is ready to get married but cant seem to find a guy. My other BM's are so helpful and great makes things easier.

What about how friendships change after weddings? Has anyone else noticed a change in relationships with there friends?  I had one we hung out almost once a weekend as couples then after they got married I never seem them. Then I have a friend who just got married and her two close friends got married a few months before she went to all of there events and they didnt even show up to her wedding and one told her, that her husband said he doesnt want them to be friends anymore.

Anyone else hear stories of this?

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mrsj2011 Posts : 31 Registered: 10/21/08
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Oct 28, 2008 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: newsjunkie

sorry double post


Message was edited by: nici2009

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Sugarcreamcandy Posts : 2 Registered: 2/20/09
Re: What IS it about weddings....
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 12:02 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I think its a number of things. I think its a lot of the bride having misconseptions that its 'her day' and thinking she can get away with anything and everything. As well as not taking her bridesmaids and guests into consideration. It may be your day(not really,its both of your day), but your wedding party is putting a LOT of time and effort and money into just this one day.(and they may have more weddings that year too)
Another thing is the other side to that argument. I also think a lot of attendents and wedding party members dont understand how important a wedding is, especially those who are not married themselves. They dont understand how incredibly important that day is to you and you only have one and youre putting a lot of time and thought and money into it and its very special. Being as they dont quite grasp that, they tend to be lazy, rude and selfish, not to mention not understanding which can cause problems.
Finally I think the last problem is simply stress.

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