Hotel Rooms for Family Members?

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EditorBree Posts : 7 Registered: 4/22/09
Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 2:39 PM

Does anyone know if it's common practice to pay for the hotel rooms of out of town wedding guests (family members in particular)? It's an issue because my fiance's family is entirely from out of town--NC and NV. I've never heard of such a thing, but my family seems to expect that we'll be paying at least for hotel rooms for my fiance's parents. I'm just wondering if anyone else has heard of this or if my family's totally pulling this out of the air. I'm not sure I can afford to pay for rooms for my finace's whole (rather large!) family.

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RACR Posts : 52 Registered: 3/18/08
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 2:45 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

I have never heard of the bride & groom paying for all out of town guests' hotel rooms (that would be sooooo expensive and you shouldn't be expected to front that cost) however I have heard of the bride & groom paying for the parents' room(s) as a gift to the parents, a few of my friends did that and it's a nice gesture to the parents if they are contributing to the wedding.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 3:01 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

I've never heard of the bride and groom paying for everyone's hotel room, except perhaps in the case of a small destination wedding. It's certainly not common practice, though it might be a nice gesture for your parents to offer to pay for your FIL's hotel room.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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simplebride2 Posts : 33 Registered: 4/17/09
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

I've always paid for my own room whether I was a guest or a member of the wedding party.

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 3:38 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

I paid for my parent's room for my daughter's wedding. Everyone else paid for their own rooms.

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 5:19 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

If you can afford it then it is certainly a nice gesture but it is absolutely NOT common practice, not even if you are having a DW. I had a DW and we didn't cover anyone's rooms although we did get a discount from the inn because we had so many people staying there. It's just part of attending someone's out-of-town wedding so don't let them make you feel bad about it. Look into group rates at local hotels, maybe that will help.

Good luck!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 9:36 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

Dear Bree,

The only people for whom it's "tradition" to pay for lodging is the wedding party.

There is no reason for you to pay for your FH's family. If they want to be there, they can cover their own costs.

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 3:19 PM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

You absolutely are not required by etiquette or tradition to pay for anyone's room but your own! What you can do is to "block" rooms for your guests. That means that you contact a nearby hotel, tell them that you are expecting approximately X number of guests, and ask them to hold a certain number of rooms (usually at a reduced price) for your guests. Guests contact the hotel directly to reserve, using a contact code or the name of the bride/groom and receive their discounted room. If the guests have not made contact by a certain date, the rooms are "released" to the general publick, and guests are on their own for reservations. You do NOT have to pay for any of this. You DO have to let your guests know the hotel contact info., the "reserve by" date, etc. You can do this in your save-the-dates, by letter or wedding website, or with an insert in your invitations.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Hotel Rooms for Family Members?
Posted: Jun 23, 2009 12:31 AM Go to message in response to: EditorBree

They would pay for it themselves. The only time I think it's ok to pay for a guest who lives out of town from the wedding is if you want them to be there and they can't afford it. If you need them their that bad, can't get married with out them watching, but they don't have the money, I think it's better to offer to pay so they don't feel guilty by not attending, and you'll have them their.

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