Family DRAMA. What do I do?

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MsStressedoutCat Posts : 9 Registered: 1/23/09
Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 1:24 PM

Okay. I posted a long time ago about my unhelpful MOH but now I'm running into some serious family drama!!! It is stressing me out so much I just dont know what to do.

My aunts and uncles are fighting over their inheritance! and my grandmother is still alive and well and happy. Needless to say they all dislike one another right now (including my parents). The family is totally divided and so there are a bunch of them that hate my mother right now.

It started with the engagement- I called each one to let them know I was getting married and how excited I was and how much I loved them and wanted them to be there. Instead I got screamed at and hung up on or I got a cold "alright well congratulations bye".

Then I asked my cousins to be part of the wedding party (the children of the aunts and uncles) and they all came up with lame excuses and said NO.

Now invitations for my bridal shower have gone out and instantly all the aunts rsvp'd the second they got it in their mailboxes and said no they wouldnt come.

I dont know what to do. Do I keep trying and invite them to the wedding? I want them there I grew up with them. They are still family. But I am concerned they will ruin everything and make me unhappy and the rest of my family unhappy. Or worse I will be rejected and feel horrible. If feel like if they say no they wont come, I will never be able to for forgive them. That this is the end of my family.

Anyone have a similar situation or have any advice for me? I would really love to hear your opinions about my issue.

Thanks :-)


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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 2:19 PM Go to message in response to: MsStressedoutCat

If it were me I wouldn't invite them and just cut my losses. I don't believe in inviting children to a wedding and that is how they are all behaving. However, I think if you don't invite them that will be yet another thing to hold against you and your mother.

Either way you are going to be hurt in this. If you invite them and they decline your feelings will be hurt and if they come and act up you will be hurt.

I wouldn't bother inviting them and just enjoy the day with the people who do attend. It will be a lovely day no matter who attends, you are marrying the man you love. The rest is really not that important.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 6:54 PM Go to message in response to: MsStressedoutCat

I'm going to have to disagree with Kennys on this one. I think you should invite them but you need to do it knowing that they probably won't come. At least by inviting them you will have been the bigger person and did the right thing. If they choose to be the assholes and decline, then it's on them, it's not on you.

Sorry you're going through this. I come from a dysfunctional family too so I can somewhat relate.

Member and Co-Founder of POOP:   "People Offended by Offended People"

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 7:22 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

CB. you are right, she should invite them. They probably won't show up, but I think if you don't invite them it will be something else to blame on your mother. They will hold that against you too. I would invite them and when they don't show up don't let it ruin your day. In the end the people who love you will be there to share your day. You are marrying the man you love and the rest is unimportant.

I seemed to have left out part of the statement I meant to write. Sorry.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

wedding websites

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MsStressedoutCat Posts : 9 Registered: 1/23/09
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 10:02 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Thanks for the advice :-)

I think I will invite them, but I really do need to be strong if they don't come. I wish family could put aside differences for one day. . .

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 11:17 PM Go to message in response to: MsStressedoutCat

It would be nice. We can dream.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

wedding websites

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 9:32 AM Go to message in response to: MsStressedoutCat

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Family DRAMA. What do I do?
Posted: Sep 16, 2012 2:33 PM Go to message in response to: MsStressedoutCat

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