No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?

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Jacobs Posts : 12 Registered: 10/6/08
No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 15, 2009 3:10 PM

This is the final week that I requested, on my RSPV cards, for people to send their cards back with their responses. I have not received MANY of the response cards, a lot from people who told me months ago that they were going to come, close friends and family who I would be very surprised if they did not show up. Is it alright for me to ask them, if I don't receive their RSVP by the end of the week, if they are going to come or not? I can imagine that a few of them are assuming I know they are coming, but I don't know for sure because they haven't given me their cards. I need to know how many people to prepare for so that is why I am getting antsy (my wedding is July 11th). Please tell me what you think!
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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 15, 2009 3:33 PM Go to message in response to: Jacobs

Yes it is ok to start calling people and asking what their intentions are. Once they receive the RSVP cards they should be able to respond in a timely matter and by the date you requested. If not then you most certainly can call.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 15, 2009 3:42 PM Go to message in response to: Jacobs

As somebody who often waits until the last minute to decide whether to attend an event, I'd be a little annoyed if someone called me BEFORE the RSVP deadline and asked whether I was attending. If the RSVP deadline has passed, go ahead and start calling people. If it hasn't passed yet, hold your horses! Give it a couple days after the RSVP deadline before you start calling, to account for people who put theirs in the mailbox on the RSVP date itself.

Just to let you know, we received more than half our RSVPs in the last few days. Or the first few days after the RSVP date.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 15, 2009 5:02 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

you should always set your RSVP date for about a week BEFORe you actually need to know. This way, you are not hounding people 2 seconds after the RSVP date. So, whatever your rsvp date is, wait at least 3-5 days AFTER that date, and then you can feel free to start calling people and asking if they are able to attend. Or, give someone else that job, as its not the most fun thing to do. As a wedding planner, this is usually my job. I call everyone who didnt respond and just simply say "Hi this is Kelley Im calling on behalf of X about her wedding... we never received an rsvp from you and just need to know if you are planning on attending?" Like Art said though, if your date hasnt passed yet, dont panic. A lot of peopel procrastinate and send them out at THE last minute.

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Jean Posts : 101 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 10:46 AM Go to message in response to: Jacobs

Unfortunately it is not uncommon for many people to not send back their RSVP cards. Since having an accurate head count is so important (not just for the amount of food, but also for the amount of beverages, centerpieces, tables and chairs) it is necessary to call the non-RSVPers. Wait until after the cutoff date you indicated on the RSVP card, plus a day or two for any that may be on their way (depending on the date you need to have the final head count).

Since your wedding date is July 11, it sounds like you have enough time to get these calls taken care of.



TheRealMrsJ Posts : 15 Registered: 6/11/09
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: Jacobs

We had a few like that as well.

Wait til the RSVP date has already come and past and call the following business day (for example, my date was like a Friday or Saturday, so I waited til Monday to call).

There were a few on my MILs list that we could not reach. She called them Monday night and left messages, then again on Wednesday... still no response. I told her that if we didn't hear from them by Thursday evening we were going to have to mark them as No's since my reception venue had preferred I get them the final count that Friday, and I said told her that if they called back after Thursday just to tell them "Sorry, but we needed the finally numbers in by X date for the reception venue and we had not heard back from you so we had to mark you as not coming."
Formerly TheNewMrsJ


RACR Posts : 52 Registered: 3/18/08
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 4:14 PM Go to message in response to: TheRealMrsJ

It's definitely ok to call once your deadline has passed. Our wedding is in 10 days and I was actually still calling people and getting response cards last week! I probably waited about a week 1/2 after the deadline before I called anyone though.


adoringbride1009 Posts : 45 Registered: 8/3/08
Re: No RSVP. Can I ask if they are coming?
Posted: Aug 27, 2009 1:59 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I'm in the same situation, except that we asked everyone to RSVP on We are waiting on a large amount of RSVPs. We have people who are in that "maybe, maybe not" phase, particularily my FH's family.

In fact, my FH told me that certain members of his family "plan fly-fishing trips the week before." Huh? This isn't a fishing trip! This is a wedding, a big event! I'm getting ready to start making phone calls to everyone.....

Soon to be his bride,


About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. ~~Twilight

Till death do us part ~~ October 3, 2009



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