wanting to plan a party for my husband

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 11:23 AM Go to message in response to: mazzy26

Huh? Get over the offended crap? My point was that Im NOT offended. Whatever. We are just trying to help. Clearly you dont want that and only want to hear sugarcoated responses telling you how incredibly awesome you are and how truly delightful your ideas are. So thats what I will say to make you happy.

WOW! A party !!!! What fun!!! Golly Willikers you are just wonderful for thinking of such a thing!!!


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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: mazzy26

First off, I have to say you look EXACTLY like one of my very good friends, glasses and all. It's really weird.


Second, there's a whole vow renewal thread that was created because ladies got sick and tired of AOTB calling their celebrations "fake weddings" so don't let it get to you.

Now, onto the party... I actually understand what it is you're trying to accomplish. Your mom is throwing a party for you and you want your husband to have some sort of party as well. I understand that. BTW - I don't give two shits that your mom is calling your party a bridal shower and you're already married. I'm sure the people who matter most in your life won't care what it's called either. And if they do, oh well, such is life, right?
Your husband's party is a little trickier because in all actuality, men don't really get wedding parties except for their bachelor party. So, if you absolutely have to have a theme, then I'd go with Tanis' suggestion of the celebration of love. I don't think your guests need to know that his party has anything to do with the wedding. You can tell your husband afterwards, in private, that you did this for him since your mom is throwing you a party.


As for the "offended" crap, I'm assuming you're referring to our POOP signatures... that's just an inside joke between a lot of us.


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 12:23 PM Go to message in response to: His4life

Dear H4L,

"People that really care about YOU will come to your event and not be offended."

It is this kind of statement that really frightens me. The idea that a person can do something that could be offensive to others, then expect the others to go along under the theory that because they really care they won't be offended.

This is the reason I come down like a hammer on all these Fake Wedding posts. A person can do whatever they want, really. Nothing stops them. They can plan whatever kind of party they want, wear what they want, throw bouquets and blush under a veil if they want.

Where the shit hits the fan is when the invitation arrives in my mailbox. It then becomes my business. It's my time, my babysitting costs, my credit card bill for a present, travel, whatever. I am being asked to participate in something I consider to be a non-event.

So, I politely decline. "I'm sorry, but we have a prior engagement.". That should be the end of the story.

But, it's not. "Boo-hooo!!! You don't love me. If you truly loved me (see quotation above), you would be there fore me on my WEDDING DAY. Boo hooo hoooo hoooo hoooooooo"

Think that can't happen? There's a young woman I do care for deeply. I saw her on the day she was born, I baby-sat her before I had my own kids. I am good friends with her grandmother. But this lady, now 32 years old, is living with and having babies (3) with a married man (a/k/a Turdhead). They can't get married, not until he gets around to divorcing his wife. So, she wanted to have a "committment ceremony" and use MY HOUSE! I very politely, very gently, but firmly, told her "No".

She went into hysterics. "No one loves me. Everyone's against me. Bla bla bla."

I do love her, truly I do.

I do care for her, truly I do.

But, I don't want to be involved with a fake wedding. Especially not at my own house.

PS: She got married at my house before she met Turdhead. Her husband ditched her after a year and a half. Then, she met Turdhead.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

dear CB,

" I'm sure the people who matter most in your life won't care what it's called either"

Proving my point.

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 1:51 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

yay 3 votes for a celebration of love! As this a non-traditional celebration anyway I would think outside the box. It doesn't necessarily have to be a party at someone's house. It could be dinner out, an outing go-carting or doing something sporty. When I want to do something special for my EH I try and think of something he really likes that I don't like as much, and probably would give the thumbs down to on our date night, that way he really knows I am trying. lol. For me that would probably be a baseball game or a sci-fi movie.

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mazzy26 Posts : 21 Registered: 4/28/09
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 3:26 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

thank you. i do really like that idea. i'm just stuck on how to go about doing this without him knowing about it. i'm a stay at home mom so, its sorta hard to do these things. but thats what i was thinking more of the lines of some of his close friends that i have become somewhat friends with, in maybe hitting the casinos around the area. having that sorta theme to it. or having a cookout. i mean i wanna do something special for him. things have been so rough for him. i want him to feel included in this, and this is what i kinda thought would show him. i guess some people just didnt understand. and thats alright. i understand all the comments people had said, myself im not offended. and as for the whatever group, thats not what i was referring too. I know people have opinions and ideas that i might not like. but it was totally going in a direction that i didnt think would happen. i should have made the first post a little bit more to the point i suppose. but thank you for those who understood what i was trying to get at. i really do appreciate it.


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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: mazzy26

I would enlist the help of one of his friends. Explain you want it to be a secret so you can take care of the logistics but ask if they can help with the invites . It could be as easy as phone calls or email rsvp's. If one of his friends gets the emails it more likely to be kept a secret. Casino night sounds like fun and its also "out and about" and festive.

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: wanting to plan a party for my husband
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

The invites are the easy part. www.evite.com is your friend!!! Use it!




Member and Co-Founder of POOP:   "People Offended by Offended People"

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