im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.

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mginete Posts : 2 Registered: 6/10/09
im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 6:33 AM

i am going to be twenty in august. and me and my fiance have been together for a year but have been close friends for a couple of years. my fiance will be twenty in december. we plann to get married in december of this year. and we recently moved in together. we are truly madly in love. we get by with what we got and already planning our wedding.

my dad and i, out relationship is sort of a tough love thing until recently. he didnt like the fact that i was moving out and we've became closer after that. i've always been scared to tell him things because he's such a hardass. so im very scared to tell him that im getting married soon. i have no idea how but all i know is that i have to tell him soon. i wanted my fiance to tell him on his own but i know i should be there too. what do i do? i need help asap. please let me know


<3megan

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CoutureBride27 Posts : 130 Registered: 5/5/09
Re: im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 7:38 AM Go to message in response to: mginete

Hi, I can understand where you're coming from. But you know, the sooner you get this off your chest the sooner you can really enjoy your wedding and all the planning without worrying about this. Traditionally the groom asks the father of the bride to be for the dad's Blessing and approval before proposing, but really, it's all about what sort of traditions you have.

I would suggest that you and your fiance invite your dad over for a meal or something, this always creates a relaxed atmosphere, and then tell him that you got engaged and make sure he knows how important he is to you! Usually when you're scared of something, most times it turns out to be not even half as bad as you anticipated!

Good luck!

Cherish all your happy moments:  they make a fine cushion for old age.

**Christopher Morley**

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 8:23 AM Go to message in response to: mginete

Yea I agree, the sooner you tell him the better. If he loves you he will support your marriage. You can't be daddy's little girl forever. If he gets angry then he will get over it. But I'm sure he will be happy since you two are living together already.
                              

 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 9:16 AM Go to message in response to: mginete

I dont understand what youre saying here. Is your dad upset that you moved out and moved in with your now fiance,or is he happy about that? I didnt quite comprehend the way you worded that sentence. If hes a hardass like you say, I would imagine he doesnt like the idea of his daughter "living in sin" without being married; so maybe marriage will be something he is happy about? Also, what kind of relationship does he have with your fiance? Does he like him?

Look, the bottom line is that you are 20 years old and you are getting married, you are going to be a wife and have your own family now. If you choose to enter into this very adult "institution" as they say, then you need to be adult enough to tell your dad and deal with whatever consequences arise from that. Youre not a 16yr old here; you are 20. You are an adult. I will leave my personal feelings about getting married too young out of this; because bottom line is you are legally old enough to get married and if thats what you are planning on doing, then dad needs to know soon!

Just sit him down and tell him. Only you know his personality and the best way to do that. But do it soon before this spirals into a big secret due to your fear.

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allisonfoster2B Posts : 65 Registered: 5/9/09
Re: im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 1:16 AM Go to message in response to: mginete

I was the same way. My dad and i have ALWAYS been close. It made me cry when he cried at my HS graduation a few years back. When i told him i told him on the phone, since i am in another country. I just said dad...im gonna get married, and he just said i know it'll happen some day hunny, and i said no dad....i AM getting married, i am engaged. He kind of fell silent that his little girl is growning up. But he seems prett happy about it.

AllisonWink

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 7:37 AM Go to message in response to: mginete

Just suck it up and tell him - the sooner, the better.

Don't make your FH tell your dad. Sorry, but you shouldn't be hiding behind a man. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to look your dad in the eye and tell him that you're getting married.

Out of curiosity, what makes you think that your dad will react negatively? Your age? Does he not like your FH? Or is there still animosity there from before you moved out? If that's the case, it will fade with time. The age objection will fade with time, too, as you reach a more 'acceptable' (in your dad's eyes) age to get married. But if he doesn't like your FH, you may be in for a rough time. In that case, I'd really recommend premarital counseling. Not only should EVERYBODY get premarital counseling, regardless of how perfect they think their relationship is, but it's a good neutral ground to discuss things like troubling family dynamics.

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CSUFgrad08 Posts : 114 Registered: 6/19/08
Re: im scared. i havent tld my dad yet.
Posted: Jun 19, 2009 2:55 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Yeah I'm going to have to agree with everything that the PP's had to say...you should be the one to sit down and tell your dad.
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