I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(

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VickiLynn84 Posts : 20 Registered: 3/1/09
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

Thanks everyone.

His parents were in town last night (i forgot) and I ended up going to dinner with them. They could sense something was wrong and we told them everything. They listened and they didn't take anyone's sides at all. But some of the things he said last killed me inside :( Things like:

1. He thinks I'm pretty I guess. But not beautiful. (is it wrong for me to expect him to think I'm beautiful? because I'm so hurt by that comment...)

2. He's not sure if he loves me.

3. He wants to get married someday, but not sure if I'm the one.

4. His mom asked him what he loved about me in the first place, or why he wanted to marry me or ask me. He couldn't even answer the question.

I know his actions pretty much say all of this, but it really killed me hearing it....and I've been so depressed since last night. But I'm not stupid either. I've been calling apartment complexes today on lunch and things and comparing prices etc. Tonight when I go home I guess I'll see how the bus line works around here and how the stops work around the other apartment complexes etc. I can't afford to live in the one I am in now by myself, but can afford others.

I'm just so upset right now.

 

www.mywedding.com/vickiandjonathan

 

 

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 3:04 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

Vicki - I'm so sorry, but it is so much better to know this NOW than to turn around after having been married for 3 months and have him tell you it's over (happened to my sister).

What you are doing sounds good, move out on your own, etc. You are lovely and if he doesn't know what/why he wants, than it is HIS loss.

 

 

 

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 3:08 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

Oh sweetie I can't imagine having to sit there and listen to those things with his parents right there. I can understand why you are so hurt, but this also shows you how STRONG you are. You cannot marry this man. You deserve someone who loves you and yes someone who thinks you are beautiful. I know it sucks right now but by leaving you are giving yourself to the chance find that man who loves you unconditionally and even more importantly to start loving yourself again.

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 3:17 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

I am glad you are working on getting out. I am sorry what he said hurt...better now than later. Use that pain to your advantage to be a strong woman that is independent!

Previously Posted as Military Bride.

CEO of E.N.E.M.A. (Enemy Negotiations & Extraction Military Agency) A special Division of P.O.O.P. (People Offended by Offended People)

When POOP can't do it alone....they call for the ENEMA.

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 3:40 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

Vicki I am so sorry you had to hear that, but also glad you did. It was the push you needed to send you on your way. You are so right you deserve to have the man you love telling you you are beautiful. You should be beautiful in his eyes. Kenny thinks I'm beautiful even when I don't think I am looking good. That is what you need. Your man should make you feel special no matter what.

Take this time and take care of you. If your 84 means the year you were born you are the same age as my daughter. I will tell you the same thing I tell her. Get you together for you. Be the best person you can be for you. Once you have become the person you want to be, the person who is meant for you will come around the corner for you. Never settle for second best, you are the best and you deserve the best.

Please get some kind of counseling for yourself. Work on your self-esteem. Never let a loser like that into your live again. Good luck.





Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P, People Offended by Offended People

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Edited by: kennysoldwife on Jun 2, 2009 5:29 PM

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His4life Posts : 117 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 4:11 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I think that Kennys said it very well. I'm sure that hearing all of that hurt you really bad, but I think it's for the best. It is not too much ask for your husband to tell you that you're beautiful, not too much at all. You deserve someone who looks at you that way and loves you unconditionally for you who you are.

Please keep us updated on your situation, everyone on here wants to help you.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 4:33 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

I'm so sorry this is ending this way. And I know it doesn't make you feel better to hear 'well, at least you didn't marry him and THEN hear all that,' but you're truly so much better off this way and once you stop hurting, you'll realize it.

And for the record, you are a beautiful woman who not only deserves to be with someone who can see your beauty, but who deserves to be with someone who doesn't NEED you to be thin, young, or picture-perfect in order to find you beautiful and attractive. Slenderness, youth, and beauty are fleeting, but inner beauty lasts forever and you deserve someone who loves you for who you are, not for what you look like.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

With all he said in front of his parents, I think you are making the right decision looking for alternatives on your own. You are a beautiful woman and you deserve only the very best. Best of luck to you.

 

"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 7:20 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

Vicki, look at that list of things he said to you that made you feel like crap the other night.
Memorize it. dont ever forget he said those things.
Then,dont wait around for him to keep adding more things to that list. Stop giving him all the control over YOUR life. Take the control back.
Make your own list. A list of why you deserve better. And then, asap, hightail it out of there before you waste one more second of your life or your soul on this poor excuse for a man.
Like Kennys said, once you learn to like and love YOU, you WILL find someone who is deservign of you and who finds you beautiful because you are you. Trust me. Take that first step.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 7:48 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

I have to add that waiting until his parents were there and telling you this in a public place was a cowardly act. This is a conversation that should have taken place between the two of you in private. He is clearly not mature enough to be married to anyone.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 9:40 PM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

You are a STRONG woman and I am so proud of you to make a better life for yourself. You are very smart for leaving that jerk and moving out on your own. I hope you have friends or a family member to support you in your time of need. Someone who you can call on the phone and vent to. I know that someday you will find a nice guy and that so-called-man that you left will regret treating you the way he did.
                              

 

Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

Sign my guestbook!!! :)



 


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Shiybaby Posts : 20 Registered: 8/1/08
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 3, 2009 12:12 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Viki

I have been reading your story and I have tell you mine in the hopes that it gives you some peace and hope. My whole life I have been larger. A few years ago I was dating a man that I was completely in love with. We lived together and felt happy in the hopes that we would some day be married. He told me often that he loved me and he often made me feel so special. However, as we came to the point in which the relationship needed to go the next level, he told me that he could not marry me until I lost weight. I was devastated. He was ashamed of me and the way I looked. I decided that I would try to lose weight, and I did, but i was not doing for myself I was doing it to make someone else love me. In the end our relationship fell apart. I was devastated. I felt that I would never find someone who thought I was beautiful because I felt ugly and fat. I know the pain that you are feeling. You feel like this person was supposed to be the "one". The person that would love me, protect me, support me no matter what.

I thought I was destined to be alone. However, I am now married to he most wonderful man. He thinks I am beautiful and perfect in every way. His nickname for me is "Mabelle" which means my beautiful in french. He almost never calls me by my name...its almost always mabelle. We lay in bed at night and laugh and snuggle and I have never have to wonder if i am beautiful or loved. I was once so hurt and angry, but I have found that the love my husband gave healed that pain. I am so happy now because I have all the things i dreamed about, a husband who loves me, a home, a great job and hopefully soon a family. My happiness has bencome my revenge and it is very sweet.

I am telling that you deserve to be love and told every day that you are beautiful. I wanted to tell you this so that you know that something better is out there. Someone who will love you and cherish you everyday. I know that it seems hard now, but you can and will find happiness with someone who love YOU not what you look like. Please believe that true love exits out there, and this is not it. You will find the love will change your life and it is very worth it. Please please please let this go so that you can find true love.
Good Luck

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 3, 2009 11:51 AM Go to message in response to: VickiLynn84

someone who loves you will bring out the best in you. when you are in love you are inspired to live the best life possible. this situation is bringing you down, it is not going to get better.




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iloveaiden Posts : 49 Registered: 5/27/09
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 3, 2009 2:57 PM Go to message in response to: FALLbrideINLOVE

be strong girlfriend!
Created by Wedding Favors

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: I dont think my fiance is attracted me anymore :(
Posted: Jun 6, 2009 11:10 AM Go to message in response to: iloveaiden

Vicki, are there any updates on your situation? Im hoping you are hearing what we are all saying to you and taking it in, and taking actions to change your life and move away from negative influences like this man who is no good for you. Im thinking of you. PM me anytime if youd like to talk more.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

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