No Black Dress Code?

Online Users: 1,346 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 53

DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 10:52 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

haha Aunt my Church has a coffee bar that you can go to before the service and get a drink...I see people eating popcorn during service...coffee i can do but popcorn is where i draw the line.

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Elizabeth40245 Posts : 59 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 12:10 PM Go to message in response to: HuckaToBe

I wouldn't ask them directly unless I knew them very well, but I do think it is perfectly okay to spread the word that you would prefer that people didn't wear all black. I, personally, would be happy to pull another color out of my closet. Some people will not care about your wishes, hear about them, or have anything else to wear. Ultimately, my best advice is to spread the word and then not worry about it. Your wedding will still be beautiful.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 6:13 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Aunt,

My new SIL had an old hollywood themed wedding, and the colors were dark pink/fuchsia, white and black. The BMs wore black, and she wanted the guests to wear black (long dresses, very formal, black tie event) I thought it was beautiful and very classy.

Different people have different ideas about colors. I agree that telling guests not to wear black is silly and I would be irritated if I got that in an invite. I do, however, typically find out what BMs are wearing if it's a person's wedding that will require me to be in pictures(like my SILs), so that I keep the bride happy. And in this case, the bride wanted us to wear long black dresses.

My point? It is no longer the rule that black shouldn't be worn at weddings. I see it all the time and a lot of people like it. Myself included.

Our BMs wore black too, mainly cause I liked the color combo with it and a black dress, tea length, is something they can wear again.

MOB also wore black, and she looked stunning. All black. Same with me. It's an outdated rule. If you prefer pastels, wear them. I look crappy in them and so I don't wear them. 1/2 my wardrobe is black. I like it that way. In fact, I only own 2 dresses that are NOT black, and they are not wedding appropriate. However, if I want an excuse to go buy a new dress in all likelihood it will be a black dress. My DH also wore black to the last two weddings we attended, we like to be coordinated as well. He accessorized with a red/black tie.

And finally, what the heck difference does it make who wears what colors in a wedding? I didn't even notice, and some of our guests showed up in jeans!! They looked pretty silly, but it sure didn't interfere with our enjoyment of our wedding in the slightest.


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Elizabeth40245 Posts : 59 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 10:22 AM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

So it is okay go ask guests to wear black, but silly and irritating to ask them to NOT wear black?

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 10:48 AM Go to message in response to: Elizabeth40245

There is a difference between ASKING the bride what she prefers(which is what I did, and what her MOM did), and (as the OP suggested) putting it in the invitation, no black allowed. Beyond that, people wore black ALL ON THEIR OWN, and she was HAPPY about it.

And yes, it is fine to ask the bride what she prefers ON YOUR OWN (and as far as I know you are suppose to pick the BM dresses as the bride) but silly and irritating to TELL the guests in invitations not to wear black.

try reading. Nowhere did I write that the bride ASKED anyone to wear anything. Wanting (and being happy when some/many do) is way different than including it in the invitation.


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Elizabeth40245 Posts : 59 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 12:08 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

I'm not sure where the idea of putting it on the invitation came from.....the OP didn't mention that option.

So you would be okay with hearing from a bride or her family that she prefers guests not wear black?

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Elizabeth40245 Posts : 59 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 12:10 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

"try reading. Nowhere did I write that the bride ASKED anyone to wear anything. Wanting (and being happy when some/many do) is way different than including it in the invitation."

If someone told me that the bride wanted guests (me) to wear black, I would feel like I had been asked to wear black. The subtext is "so please wear black." Which would be fine, btw.

Sorry to have made you angry to the point of snapping at me, btw. Just trying to understand your opinion. The rudeness was unnecessary.


Edited by: Elizabeth40245 on Jun 2, 2009 12:23 PM

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 1:23 PM Go to message in response to: Elizabeth40245

Well careful reading of someone's post can help sometimes.

The OP asked How to go about doing this? So people said, don't put it on the invites. One would imagine that is something she considered doing.

But seeing as how she hasn't bothered to post again.... One can never know.

 

 

 

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Elizabeth40245 Posts : 59 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 2:03 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Indeed. So when someone said:

"There is a difference between ASKING the bride what she prefers(which is what I did, and what her MOM did), and (as the OP suggested) putting it in the invitation, no black allowed" and then informed me that "I should try reading" I was confused because the OP did not suggest this.

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 8:09 PM Go to message in response to: Elizabeth40245

did I anywhere state that my SIL TOLD anyone that? She actually told me when I ASKED her, that she'd be happy if people wore black. And, after her MOM asked her, she told her too. Otherwise, no one was TOLD anything. good lord, can you read??

this is a pretty silly debate though. The rule AOTB stated is outdated and dead. bye.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 8:19 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

For the Love of God WHY are we still talking about this unbelievably boring topic??? LOL. Wear black, dont wear black, seriously,who gives a crap. Not the OP,who had the good sense to leave a long time ago LOL. This is just comedic now.


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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 8:24 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Cause I'm bitchy and exhausted!! :)

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

I am asking my guest to wear shorts and mid-riff top in yellow, green and pink polka dots. I think our pictures will look so hot.

 

 

 

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MrsJDtobe Posts : 159 Registered: 2/15/09
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 9:19 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I am probably the world's biggest proponent of the little black dress. With the right accessories it can be worn yearound and YES at weddings without looking funeral-like. I would not be thrilled to hear that I was prohibited to wear black at a wedding because the bride thought it looked morbid. I think black is classy and timeless. And I want to point out that I have a dress reserved specifically for funerals that I NEVER wear to any other functions because it's my own little quirk. Besides, it isn't a black party dress ;-)

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Black Dress Code?
Posted: Jun 2, 2009 10:42 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Wow, you guys will look SOOOO hot!!! :)What a hot idea. wow. I think I will steal it and do that when I ahve my FAKE wedding in about 7 years. I hope it's still hot then. I think it will be.

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