Help!

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notabridezilla309 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/28/09
Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 2:10 PM

My future SIL informed me that she is coming to my wedding dressed like a slut, what can i do about this?

Edited by: notabridezilla309 on Jun 17, 2009 5:47 PM

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Gaby0 Posts : 45 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 2:19 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

What according to you is dressing like a whore?

What did she tell you or what did she you told her?

Plus I think wheter you want it or not you are involved because you made the comment. First rule of not getting involve is to not say anything. Believe I learn it the hard way.



I think I will be upset if someone told me my sister dressed like a whore.

Edited by: Gaby0 on May 28, 2009 2:19 PM

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 2:29 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

My only advise to you would be STAY OUT OF IT!!!! You need to let your FH deal with his disrespectful sister.

Member and Co-Founder of POOP:   "People Offended by Offended People"

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notabridezilla309 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/28/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: Gaby0


I listened to her and said nothing.

Edited by: notabridezilla309 on Jun 17, 2009 5:49 PM

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notabridezilla309 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/28/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

Thank you so much...I am trying to!

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Gaby0 Posts : 45 Registered: 5/25/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:14 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

Well then the issue is with her family. She is trying to get back at them for hurting her . Tell your fh to tell his family to talk to his sister and apologize for thinking she is a whore , that might changer her mind.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

I'm confused: Is she dressing inappropriately on purpose to make you mad, or is she just clueless about proper attire in a church?

If she's planning to dress disrespectfully just to piss you off, I'd 'fire' her from her reader job and ask someone else to do it. You can't control what she wears, but you can limit her visibility by not having her do a reading.

If, on the other hand, she simply doesn't know that her outfit would be inappropriate for church, I think that's a pretty innocent mistake to make. I would gently explain the typical dress code inside a church and suggest that her outfit sounds nice, but that it may be a little too lowcut (or whatever) for church. Be nice about it, and offer an alternative, such as wearing a sweater during the ceremony. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking your WP members (or readers) to dress appropriately for a church wedding. I asked my BMs to wear sweaters to the rehearsal if they were planning to wear anything low-cut (I did, too).

It sounds like you've already said something, however - or your FH did, anyway. I understand that you don't want to get involved, but you started this. I would tell your FH to apologize and drop the issue. So she shows up looking like a whore. Whatever - she's the one who will look like an idiot.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:25 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

Oh, that's weird - my page loaded funny and I only saw the first two responses. NOW I see what the problem is!

Could she have been kidding? That kind of sounds like something I might say as a joke...and since you don't know her, you don't know whether she can say that sort of thing with a straight face or not.

Is her mom upset with her for dressing that way, or upset with you for not wanting her to dress that way?

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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notabridezilla309 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/28/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:48 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

lol...thank you for rereading maybe she is bitter. i dont know where the comment came from or why she would say something like that. like i said, not everyone has class. the girl has issues obviously! my friends and family think she has serious issues. apparently!

Edited by: notabridezilla309 on Jun 17, 2009 5:51 PM

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notabridezilla309 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/28/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 3:52 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

PS...my FH mom is upset with her daughter for making the comment to me. I never wanted her to find out but my FH has a big mouth...he was very upset by it. His mom promised not to say anything. I just dont want to be dealing with this all...its not a conversation i want to have with his mother..after all, the comment came from her daughter. Gosh what did I do to deserve this craziness????

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 4:03 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

Ahh, I see. And I don't think you're wrong for being concerned about this.

Here's my advice: Find a supportive family member (FMIL will do, if she agrees with you and your FH about this. If not, an aunt or female cousin might work) who is assertive and tip her off about FSIL's clothing plans. Then don't say another word to anyone. Hopefully this person will knock some sense into her and she will dress appropriately. That's really all you can do, unless you want to limit her visibility, as I mentioned above, by not having her do a reading.

I wouldn't stress about it. There's not a whole lot you can do to change the situation, so you'll just have to make the most of it and ignore her if she shows up dressed inappropriately. And honestly, you'll probably be so happy that it won't even bother you - or better yet, you won't even notice her.

If she does show up looking like a whore, you are NOT the one who will look bad - she is.

I'd be more worried that she'd try to bring her married boyfriend as a date. I'd absolutely go bridezilla on her ass for THAT. No one should be allowed to parade their infidelity at someone's wedding!

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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notabridezilla309 Posts : 6 Registered: 5/28/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 4:15 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Thank you, ArtBride..for great advice!


Edited by: notabridezilla309 on Jun 17, 2009 5:54 PM

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 4:36 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

Doh I would invite her without a guest and make it understood that she's invited on her own - but then again this is a battle your FH has to fight not you.

I think that's beyond anything though that she would bring her married bf to your wedding.

Sounds like she has major issues. I'm sorry you have to be dealing with that.

And BEFORE it gets that far - if she does bring him he does NOT have to be in your wedidng pics.

 

 

 

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BibliophileMom Posts : 80 Registered: 3/26/09
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 4:52 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

OMG - I would not have even considered that the FSIL would THINK about having the married boyfriend in the pictures. It sounds to me like she's intent on shoving her "other woman" status in everyone's faces as much as possible (why else would her whole family even know she was having an affair with a married man, let alone bring him to a wedding?).

www.mywedding.com/Leaver2010

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Help!
Posted: May 28, 2009 5:28 PM Go to message in response to: notabridezilla309

Perhaps it is because I have lived with a Drama Queen all my life or maybe it is because I have a child who acts out all the time but my reaction to your FSIL would have been so very different.

If she had told me what she told you I would have simply said "That dress sounds lovely but, it will certainly clash with the color scheme". "Our color scheme is pink, white and black. I wouldn't have been upset at all. If she chooses to wear that dress she is the one who will look like a fool and not me. I just wouldn't even let it rile me.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

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