If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 24, 2009 7:54 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Kelley, at the risk of being called a selfish self-centered bitch, I will give you my non-kid reasons. It just happens to be another trigger of mine. Of course, since I'm now married every one expects me to breed asap. So, we'll start with the most selfish.

  • Body Modification: I worked so hard a couple of years ago to lose close to 50 pounds. I fight every day with what to eat, how to eat, blah blah blah. I have significant stretch marks on the fleshy part of my hips above my butt. The skin on my tummy is kind of loose from losing weight despite all my work outs. I can just imagine how terrible my stomach would look after a child.

  • Health: Being pregnant doesn't benefit a woman's body in general in any way. Not only do you risk looking terrible afterwards, but you have the chance of becoming a psycho maniac afterwards. (Post par depression) Also, I'm afraid of what my health would be during pregnancy. I've already got terribly low iron. I'm pre-diabetic. I'm a high risk human being. lol

  • Freedom: I like being me. I like having my kitties. I like eating on a random schedule. I like going to work. I like being able to go to the gym when I want. I like taking a quick trip to the store, beach, movie, parents, basically anywhere at any time without having to wonder what I'm going to do with the tot.

  • Expense and responsibility: Currently, DH and I are saving for many things. We're saving for our delayed honeymoon. We're saving for new cars. We're saving for another TV. Why DH thinks we need a 55 incher I'll never know. The 47 seems just fine to me. He wants one of those 1 inch thick ones though. Whatever. The point is that a child is expensive. They have to eat properly. They have to be educated properly. They have to be involved in sports, entertained, etc. Vacations can't be cheapo road trips surviving on soda and beef jerky.

Life is different forever. As exciting as that sounds, it just doesn't sound like a life I'm prepared to live. Anytime people mention children, I am pissed that it's supposed to be my life duty. Then I'm a little sad. I know DH and I would be good parents. It's just such a big step.


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LilMrsSunshine Posts : 195 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 24, 2009 9:10 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

LOL So Glad I am not the only one who thinks MIL calling herself MOm is aggravating.DH's mom called my phone to ask something about Thank You notes a few weeks back and DH is like who is it.. I was like "IT's your mom" she goes "No, I'm just Mom now everybody's mom" I was like yea ok. I just don't want her to get the slightest Idea that she is anything close to the woman who raised me. I am very very close to my mom and would hate for anyone to get the smallest idea that they compare.

Trigger from DH? I hate being ignored. I don't care how upset you are with me I wuld much rather here you say Melanie you suck leave me alone then you completely ignore me. DH know's this and I will sit right next to him and ask him questions and he wills ay absolutely NOTHING. I'm Hellooooooooo I know you hear me stupid!! THen he's like huh? WHat'd you say?

I also hate the fact that DH feels like I should show up to ever family event they have. He works everyday but Tuesdays and Thursdays so when they have things on the weekend he's never able to go but expects me to show up and sit with these people who are mostly strangers to me and act like I want to be there. I understand they are my in laws but I don't want to see them every weekend.

And the last thing...I think we see his mom wayyyyyyyyyyy to much. I know I have this issue because I never see my mom because she lives in Ohio and we live in Texas. BUt I don't want to go sit at his mom's house for hours on end. I've already been like crazy homesick these last few weeks and I just want to see my mom but its really hard with school and everything. So seeing his mom does not make it even better especially since she expects me to call her mom!!!

 

Lil Mrs Sunshine

Just Married 4-4-09

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 25, 2009 12:35 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

My MIL always refers to herself as "Mom insert her name". It drives me freaking bonkers!!! This women didn't think I was good enough to marry her son in the first place and as soon as we are married she's "Mom". ummmm NO!! You don't get to decide what the heck i call you - I DO!!!

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I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

I promise I'll be nicer if you promise you'll be smarter!


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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 25, 2009 12:54 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

LilMrsS- I'm so glad we moved away from his mom. The woman is too much.

CL- SEEEE!!!! You and I have the smae MIL.....I swear. I was never good enough for ANYTHING! I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't blonde enough. My degree was pointless. My job was pointless. My family is stupid. Then I marry your son and we mom and daughter. WTF?

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TickledPeenk Posts : 175 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 25, 2009 5:56 AM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I get the "you people" ALL the time at work!! I think it's because we specifically cater to people over 50. I swear I get it at least once a day. We named our team the "'you people' people" LOL

What REALLY bugs me is being interrupted. DH does it often. I hate it anyway but especially now because I get interrupted on phone calls ALL the time at work and it freaking ANNOYS me to no end.

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tnichelle1485 Posts : 119 Registered: 2/28/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 25, 2009 10:44 AM Go to message in response to: TickledPeenk

I love this thread! A major trigger for me is when FH tells me to "relax." But it's not a sweet, "baby, just relax" it's a sarcastic, I can't believe you're actually worrying about this "you need to relax." Conversation:

FH: Babe, what's wrong?
me: Ahhh!! I'm late and I can't find my keys!
FH: Oh, well, where'd you have them last?
me: I dunno...I thought I put them on the hook. F***!! Where are they??
FH: Reeeeeeeee-laaaaaaaaaax!
me: I'm late for work!
FH: I know, but geeze! Just relax!

Another thing that gets under my skin is when FH tells me to pick what we do, but doesn't like my answer so he throws out his ideas to try to get me to change my mind. Then, when I do change my mind, he suggests my initial idea...as if it's the best thing since sliced bread!
Conversation:

me: What do you wanna do tonight? We both have the night off!
FH: I dunno, we can go to dinner or something.
me: Oh, that sounds good. Maybe a movie after?
FH: Where do you wanna go to eat?
me: I don't care. You can pick.
FH: No, you pick. This is your night...whatever you wanna do is fine.
me: Ok...I really don't care, but since I get to pick let's do Applebee's.
FH: Applebee's? Really? OK...your choice. I mean, we could go to Damon's or Friday's or Olive Garden. You pick.
me: I just did pick.
FH: Ok, so Applebee's?? All right...it's your night!
me: Well, I really am not too particular...wherever we go, I'll find something to eat. Let's go to Olive Garden...we haven't been in a while.
FH: Yea, Olive Garden always delivers...
me: Sweet. OG it is...what movie do you want to see?
FH: Ya know, why don't we go to Applebee's? You love their daquiri's (sp?)!
me: I said that 5 mins ago and you seemed disgusted at the thought of going there! Ahhhh!!

Another thing is when FH takes something I said, changes the words around and passes off the idea as his own! Conversation:

me: I'm starting to think we have too many people in the wedding party. 5 on each side is alot...
FH: Plus the 2 FGs and RBs...
me: Right...it's alot, ya know??
...FIVE MINS LATER...
FH: Ya know, I've been thinking...do we really need a wedding party of 10? That seems like alot, don't you think??
me: Ummm....yes, I do think that's alot...we just had this conversation 5 mins ago!
FH: I know...I'm just sayin'

It seems that I have a lot of things...lol! Here's another: I don't like being alone with Alex's mother, father or brother...any relatives, really. Nothing against them...I'm just not very social and awkward silence makes my heart want to jump right out of my chest. So, whenever we venture to their houses I always get nervous. FH knows this full well. Yesterday is a perfect example, we get to his mom's house and she asks him to pick up the pizza that she ordered and go to the store.

me: Do you want me to go with you, honey?
FH: Nah...I'll be fine. I mean, it's up to you. If you wanna go that's fine...if not that's fine. (we're standing in front of his mother).
me: Oh, ok...well, I'll go with you...I need to get something from the store, anyway.
FH: What do you need? I can pick it up for you, babe (being the sweetheart that he is).
me: Alex, I'll just go...
FH: Ok
IN THE CAR
me: You do know that I don't like to be alone with your mom, yes?
FH: Yea...
me: so, when I ask if you want me to go with you...it would be great if you'd say 'yes'
FH: Oh yea! Sorry babe...I wasn't thinking!
me: I mean I don't want her know I'm uncomfortable being alone with her...ya know? And it's nothing against her...it's just how I am...
FH: I know...I'm sorry...I'll remember next time.

Don't get me wrong. I love Alex to pieces, but these are the things that bother me. The "just relax" comment is the only one that really pisses me off and almost always causes a fight!


 

~We're getting married on "Loving Day!"...June 12, 2010...He asked if I'd be with him forever and of course my answer was yes

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Guest
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 25, 2009 1:40 PM Go to message in response to: tnichelle1485

mushaboo I COMPLETELY understand the reasonings for not having kids...

Alex and I have been together for 5 years, lived together for 4 1/2 and bought out first house last summer. We both have great jobs and are "financially comfortable." He is 26 and Ill be 24 in 2 weeks. and EVERYONE is pressuring us to have babies! and i mean EVERYONE. My parents, his family, our friends. its nuts! Most of our friends are our ages and have at least 1 baby and the common phrase is.."your next!" NO THE EFF WERE NOT! haha. Alex is BEGGING for a baby. He has a 5 month old nephew and he adores him. He wants one so bad and Im always the one saying not yet. I feel horrible but Im just not ready. Here are my reasons:

1. Im 24yrs old, and still in college. I had to take off 2 yrs because I couldnt afford it and I didnt want student loans. I have 3 yrs left. ( I work full time too). So its taking forever. I dont want my child being raised in daycare 11 hrs a day. not my idea of a good parent. I want to be able to spend time with my child. See their first step. yada yada yada

2. Im not even married yet! I was raised to have babies after marriage and college. not before.

3. I LOVE my body. I work hard to make sure I look good. Work out, eat right, no strech marks, im proud to say, I have a great body and I really dont want that ruined yet.

4. Alex still has some growing up to do. not saying that I dont, but he snaps easily and I dont want him to be like that with our babies. If i interupt him while he is playing video games, the world comes to an end. Whats going to happen when little Alex Jr pulls the tv plug? lol

5. I just want to be done school and married and then I will procreate =) I want to do things the right way (not saying that anyone did things the wrong way, this is just my personal preference and how I was raised.)

My poor Mom wants one SSOOOO bad. The only grandbaby she has is my older brothers baby who lives in Kentucky with his wife (he is deployed). So she only gets to see him once a year if that. So she REALLY wants some grandbabies here and Im the only sibling that is here with her. Both my brothers are deployed. She already has started purchasing baby stuff. Its really upsetting sometimes. I really want children, I just wish people would respect my decision to wait until school/marriage is settled.


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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 28, 2009 6:37 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

My trigger: "you remind me of your mom" or anything along the lings of someone comparing us.

I am NOT like her in ANY way whatsoever. Just don't even think it!

I also hate when Richard says "Stop acting like my mom." Ugh! Really? I'm not, I CARE about you, that's how people act when they care!

There are more I'm sure. And Mush(?) I have a list of reasons I don't want kids either! Amen for the list!

Mrs. Pinky


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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 29, 2009 1:07 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Mrs Cox, Seriously? You're so young. You have plenty of time to have babies. At least they should be encouraging you to wait till you're married.

Pinky, If Robert ever told me I was acting like his mother, I would file for divorce that day.

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Guest
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 29, 2009 2:46 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I dont necessarily think I am too young as in my age to have kids. I just feel that I have too much occupying my life right now to have kids. My fiance is 26 and I am 24 (June 13=) So age isnt really an issue. Schooling takes up so much of my time and I have a very demanding job that goes well into 50 hr weeks. I would love to have kids, just fear that I wont have time to watch them grow.


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