If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.

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mrsJLA Posts : 445 Registered: 5/25/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 22, 2009 5:46 PM Go to message in response to: Celiny

Mush - when you mentioned the food thing, I was like that is so like me and DH. Except, he asks me like 500 times, so whatcha want to eat. And I respond - "Food" I don't care I am hungry now! LOL. And then it takes him forever to pull over and by then I am hungry and angry. Well duh, I told you 30 minutes ago that I was hungry and you know I can't wait.

 Jaime :)

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 22, 2009 6:14 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

You know what ticks me off? Is when I'm in a good mood and then it's ruined because FH is in a bad mood. That happened today. I was all happy that it's 3 day weekend time. When I picked him up at work I knew he was grumpy. He didn't look happy. I asked, whats wrong? And he just shrugged. Right there...when he shrugged... ruined it! lol. He could have told me what was wrong but he holds his feelings in at times. He finally tells me that he has had gas pains all day. Geez, was that so hard to tell me earlier? lol.

Speaking of pain....what REALLY ticks me off is when he has some pain and yet he acts like he is dying! I could be with a migrane, with mentral cramps, and my foot could be hurting all at the same time but does he hear ME complain? Noooo. I'm still moving around and cooking and cleaning even though I'm in pain. But when HE'S in pain, it's like the end of the world! :-p What can ya do? Gotta love em lol.
                              

 

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 22, 2009 11:29 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Oh! OK, I have a kind of trigger. Something Mrs. Ricecake said reminded me of it.

DH and I will be driving along, nothing's wrong, dum-de-dum, then all of a sudden from out of nowhere he'll say "Dammit!" Or "F***!" Or he'll be in another room where I can't see him, everything's just fine, and then he'll explode out "Dammit!" and will do the same thing. Anyway, that's not the part I have an issue with. The part that drives me nuts is that I ALWAYS think something is really wrong when he says that and I'll say, "What? WHAT? WHAT?" And him.....loooonng pause. Me again, "WHAAAT?!" Him: "I forgot to call my mom." Or "I forgot to get bananas at the store." Drives me friggin' NUTS.

Problem is, he sounds the exact same way when something is really wrong, like when he throws his back out. Gr.

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 12:03 AM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

Oh the trash thing gets me too!! I have a bag of trash sitting by my door right now! I was cleaning the bathroom emptied the trash and was gonna take it out when DH gets home comes into the bathroom and I ask him to take the trash out. I guess he took that as take it out of the bathroom! Im gonna leave it to see how long it takes him to actually take it out!

Another thing. Whenever we are watching TV he takes out the computer and turns on his music...and its stupid rap which really irritates me! Then when I ask him to turn it off or turn the volume down he does this little huffy thing! AHHH! And when we are in the car we have to listen to waht he wants to listen to, which again is rap and the same three songs!! So I turn it to a song I like and he changes it or turns it off!!! My DH is a redneck from Vermont that generally drives old trucks with 6 inch lifts so he really should listen to country or old school rock, nope my redneck listens to rap! I cant take it!


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NKGiordano Posts : 57 Registered: 5/9/09
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 3:09 AM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Hmmmm.....


When I call him and tell him to come wherever I am. He always says he is coming but never actually does and it really annoys me. If you are doing something important, I understand but watching TV is not important. If I have to repeatedly ask him to come, I just get so angry and frustrated and I say, "Kristian Andresen, get your ass in this room right now." Which means, I am pissed.

Then, to piss me off more. "Stop being such a nag." Um, what?! I am not nagging, you just dont listen.

How about when I am talking to him and he doesnt listen? I hate repeating myself.

So, I yell at him allllll the time in Russian. So, he doesnt understand but when I get angry, I curse in Russian. Gets the anger out.

Also, when he goes out and doesn't call. One phone call to tell me that you're alive, means the absolute world. I am SO paranoid and he knows it. So, I freak out when he doesnt call. Yet, he wont.

I get angry thinking about this.

Also, when he leaves his shoes in the middle of the doorway. Whyyyyyy cant he put it in the corner? I trip every single time I walk in the door. Especially, if my hands are super full and I cant see what is in front of me.

Wow. I really do love him, I promise.

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ThrilledBrideTara Posts : 42 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 4:26 AM Go to message in response to: NKGiordano

Mush ur 3 levels of getting ready was funny! lol

My fh is usually not a pain in the arse, except when he forgets things. I dont know, I hate nagging but I mean how many freaking times do I have to ask u to do something for me.....
OR I love he will go outside, meanwhile there is crap all over, his mountain dew bottles not in the recylceables, so on, andinsteaad he is playing!!!!!! PLAYING!!!! PLaying outside with the guns or the arrows so on. Usually he does this when I am scrubbing the floors, not amused at all.

Lately, if I am not at home, and he is at home, he gets a list,,, if I rattle off more then one thing, I am lucky if one thing I asked for is done.

My worst pet peeve,..... CALM DOWN........... I flair more.... I am out for blood when someone tells me to calm down.

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Bally Posts : 355 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 8:49 AM Go to message in response to: mrsJLA

Yes the food thing pisses me off too. I don't need to ask him what he wants for dinner, I just make it and he eats it. And he is a very fussy eater but I always get it right. Whereas when he is cooking he needs me to tell him exactly what I want to eat. I don't fcking care just make me food!!!

I also hate when I don't realise something blindingly obvious and FH slaps his hand and says 'ooh good job' really sarcastically. I'm smart, but sometimes really obvious stuff escapes me and then he does this. I swear I'm going to break his hands.

And I have bad asthma and wheeze pretty much all the time and he always goes, are you alright? Whats wrong??! Its like, yeah I get youre concerned but I've been wheezing the entire time we've been together, surely you should know its normal by now!?!?

wow I'm feeling so bitchy today..lol

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 9:27 AM Go to message in response to: Bally

I forgot about that one. "What's wrong?" I can be 195% fine and that will drive me mad! On the flip side, I can have something wrong (tummy ache, cramps, headache), and he'll ask what's wrong when he knows exactly what is wrong. "I told you babe that I have a terrible headache." Then here's the kicker, my second fave question.......wait for it....."Did you take something for it?" No, dummy, I prefer to suffer.

DH also asks me what kind of food I need to eat. Do you want chicken or fish? Breaded or grilled? Baked ro mash potatoes? Beans? Broc? or peas? Arrrrrrgggggg!!!!!

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Today what really annoys me is that FH HAD to cook out this weekend, even though I've had to work 5 days this week and 5 days next week so I haven't really had time to unpack and fix everything in our new home. So last night after I got off work I came home with a terrible headache, took some medicine, and then started cleaning. I had to force FH to go to the grocery store with me after he got off of work. I stayed up until 1 am cutting stars and flowers out of pineapple to make a cute fruit display. Then today I get up early to start cleaning and unpacking again. I have worked non stop today, and made FH a list of things I needed him to do (at his request because he said he wouldn't be able to remember). I ended up doing all of my stuff AND everything on his list too except for 2 things.

And what is he doing right now? Playing some video game, which is what he will be doing all night tonight since his buddies are spending the night. I think I'll remind him that the kitchen and car port need to be swept in the next hour...I'm sure I'll end up doing it though.

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 9:09 PM Go to message in response to: WinterWonderlan...

Does anyone else here feel like they and their FH/DH are going to need to develop better communication skills before you have kids (or if you have a kid already, then before the kid gets older and starts to imitate you)?

Because NJ, DreamComeTrue, and others who have posted their conversations, my DH & I don't have your exact issues (like he never asks me if it's OK if he goes anywhere), but we have plenty of those type of back-and-forth conversations where we both end up repeating ourselves a lot and drive each other nuts b/c neither of us can get their point across. I just feel like I'm gonna screw up my kid with the example we're going to set and I'll have to, like, learn to be patient. LOL. I really do adore DH, he just drives me crazy.

I remember as a kid watching my parents bicker (actually, they still bicker frequently now) and that drove me nuts, too. I remember wondering why they were married if they didn't like each other. Now I know from an insider's POV that you really can like each other but drive each other nuts, and I'm afraid my kid won't get that. Like me.

Anyway, carry on...

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 23, 2009 11:55 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

I dont know. I think theres a difference between bantering/bickering about stupid everyday things; and truly not communicating and having an unhealthy relationship. Like - when DH and I bicker; its always about dumb stuff like the Playstation, computer, or chores, or him pretending to listen to me lol. But we dont ever, and I mean EVER, disrespect one another or even really "fight." Its just more like funny arguments and dialogue. We sort of realize as its happening how ridiculous we are being; and we mock each other while we argue. Its kind of funny. Sometimes we will start laughing in the middle of the dialogue because its so stupid or pointless. I remember my parents used to have the same kinds of arguments, but it felt more like "banter" than "wow, you two really dont like one another." I think that kids can tell the difference. You can feel love inside a home when youre a kid,and you can also feel lack of love. Know what I mean? So, I dont worry too much, but if we did decide to havea child, we would definately talk about some changes that should be made and how we can best spend our time. I wonder more about how DH would LIVE without having all that free time to play his dumb games.
Someone mentioned Call of Duty- thats the one DH plays too. He doesnt play against anyone else though, thankfully. THat would drive me batty. But he puts it so damn loud, it sounds like people are getting shot in our home.

NJ and Celiny - glad other people have this "Im not listening" issue too lol. Drives me up a wall. I hate the pretending thing. Dont pretend youre listening ---Im not dumb, I know the difference. Sometimes Ill just say stuff specifically to figure out if hes listening or not. "So boo - Im going to go out tonight and get laid okay? Is that cool?" "Huh? Oh --- yeah, cool." And NJ - DH does it on the phone too,thats the worst. Exactly like you said, but in my case, its me caling him from work. As in, Im driving home from work or about to, or on my way to the gym etc, and Ill call him while he is at home, on his day off, doing nothing, and I will be calling for a reason. Like "Hey hon, would you mind running up to the post office while Im gone and picking up stamps? Oh and we also need milk so if you could get that at the corner deli too." "Okay. Ill go later." "Well you shoudl go soon cuz post office closes in an hour and I wont be home in time..." "Umm well Im sort of in the middle of something right now, but okaaaayyy" . Now, his idea of "in the middle of something" means he is PLAYING CALL OF DUTY. Heactualyl acts as if thats IMPORTANT! Its not important. Get the f'ing stamps!! Then he will go "well I need to find a place to SAVE The game." I love that excuse. Just save it. I dont care. I wanna throw it out a window. "Well if I dont save it, then I gotta start all over." Well waaaaaaahhhhh. Youre an adult. who gives a rats ass about a stupid GAME? lol. I just dont get it. And whenever I call him and hes home, he rushes me off the phone so he can finish his dumb game. Then when I get home its "So did you get the stamps?" " Ohshit, I forgot." AAAAHHH. No you didnt, you just contiinued playing your game!

GGGGGRRRRRR.

I love how this thread is supposed to be about trigger words etc that make us nuts from ANYONE, yet 98% of the posts automatically are directed at our FH/DH. lol.


But hey ,what can I say, I love the guy.


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Yogabags Posts : 2 Registered: 5/24/09
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 24, 2009 4:35 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Just joined the forums.. nice to see some nice threads here... LOL

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 24, 2009 1:51 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Ok, I'll try to catch up. Kelley was able to summarize the disagreement vs fight thing so I don't have to go there. Whew. Thanks, Kelley. My parents didn't fight in front of us. In fact, I think they've gotten into maybe 10 disagreements and/or fights in front of my brother and I thoughtout my life. They always shows a united front on any decision they made for us. I really think I had awesome parents. They both knew their role in parenthood. My mom was always the caretaker, the comforter, really a best friend. Dad has always been the teacher. He taught me about vehicle maintenance, where to punch a person, driving on interstate, just random world stuff. I've always enjoyed just talking to my dad. My dad never bathed us, never took us school clothes shopping, never took us to the doctor. My mom never resented him for this though. As long as your comfortable with your parenting role and you know what your partner will NOT do, then you should be just fine as a couple and parents.

Just to shake things up a bit, I will give you a trigger that sends me over the moon. So, I get an email with the last address of the lady that was MIL's guest at our wedding. It was sent from MIL. (She's super late on getting this to me. All the other Thank You cards were sent out two weeks ago.) She signs it "Love, Mom". Love? Really? You've made my life living hell for over 4 years. How can you sign it love? Then Mom? You are not my mother. Seriously, I have one mother! Every other email, VM, snailmail, etc that I've received from her was signed "Alice" prior to the wedding.

I mentioned this to DH last night on our date. I told him it was odd, freaky, and pissed me off. He said wen he last spoke to her that she asked how I was doing, blah blah blah. He called her out on it saying "why do you care?" Now, suddenly because we're married you're interested in me? I still think it's fishy. She's never done anything without some sort of a scheme to it. DH agreed. He said "she's a bitch, babe. She probably just did it to get under your skin."

That woman is in my top 5 reasons to not have kids. lol

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 24, 2009 3:25 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Im interested Mush. What are the other 4 reasons? lol.

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: If you call me a b(*#h again, you die.
Posted: May 24, 2009 4:56 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Oh my gosh, Mush! My MIL is like that too. I have soo many triggers with my in laws! My MIL will call my phone, I never answer, she will leave a message and start out by saying "Hi its Mom.." NO you are not my mom! Sorry. Now if it was on a shared phone fine, but not MY cell phone! Or sometimes DH will get random mail at their house and she will call and ask to open it...The most recent was his statement for his retirement/savings plan. Yeah ya dumb bitch open that up and tell me how much we have invested! NO!! While he was in bootcamp I was paying all his bills and for some reason he set his address to his parents and not mine. When I first discovered this was happening I called and told her that I needed all the mail that he was getting so I could be sure all his bills were being paid. She was occassionally bring me the bills, opened! So I switched his address on the bills I knew about, but AFTER bootcamp I found out he had a bil that I didnt know about because she "thought it was junk mail" so into the fire it went! AHHH! I could go on.

Now about the fighting/kids issue. DH and I banter a lot. Nothing serious and no big fights. We are a lot like Deborah and Raymond on Everybody Loves Raymond. LOL. My parents didnt communicate while I was a child. My dad is a workaholic so he was absent a lot of growing up. When he would get home he would sit in his chair and watch TV, completely oblivious to his surroundings. My mom was the best mom ever! She was able to compensate for his lack of presence (although its sad she had to). They have been married for 30 years and a large reason was because my mom couldnt support four kids on one income, especially since my dad made reasonably good money and his job provided housing. So I would rather my kids see their parents communicating rather than not. And by communicating, I mean in a healthy, non-abusive way.

Formerly FMR2008 

Married Since December 27, 2008!

 

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