A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

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JewelOfTheSea Posts : 32 Registered: 12/22/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 12:33 PM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

gosh i always feel like im behind

welcome ajs and knit!

I would scrap book but ive never done it before and i dont really own a camera. I just love writing and i did send Ryan a text saying i was gonna do it but i dont think he will get his phone back untill he sees me anyways. i was thinking what i'd do is when i wrote him letters i would include a "from Bonnie" section lol

i'm sorry i didn't get to respond to everyones posts especially ajs and knit but i gptta take Bonnie to the drs which is kinda a long trip when talking in baby terms (an hour drive each way and were gonna have to get groceries while we are in town) so it takes much preperation and packing of changes of cloths sooo i gotta scoot i'll get everyone next time!


 



 

 

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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

I'm back from the crazy graduation weekend! First I want to reply to some of the posts.

Jewel - I think that the journal for Bonnie is a great idea. I like scrapooking myself. I have done an engagement book for FH and I, a random book of things that we have done together with pictures and cards and now I am planning on doing a graduation book. I really enjoy it and it helps me to relax, plus in the future you have something to look back on and be like oh yea I remember that! I hope you have fun doing your journal!!

Ryanne - That mold problem is horrible, but when I was looking for houses and some of them were foreclosures and had mold problems I did research and learned that if the mold was not that bad (like you couldn't see it through the walls) then it is treatable. They do different treatments for how serious it is, but at least you don't have to move across the hall from Chris's grandma! I don't know if you wrote about this but is Chris feeling better? I hope so and I know you had a cough too so I hope you're feeling better too.

Sweater - FH and I are planning to get married in 2011 (at least before our fight, more on this later) so we could save up some money. We both graduated this weekend with our bachelor's degrees and have been engaged for 1 1/2 years already. If 2012 works better for the 2 of you then go for it. I have to say that at times I get anxious because we have to wait, but I can say that it is worth the wait and it does go by quick.

To the other new person (sorry I forgot your name) welcome to the boards and to this thread!

Autumn - I think that getting your PhD is a great idea. I have to say that watching the people who got honored this weekend was really a great accomplishment for them. If it is something that interests you I say go for it. Look at it this way - in the long run, it doesn't hurt to have that extra degree especially when it is a PhD. Good luck!!

Ok as for me. FH came over Friday. I wrote that post when he was sleeping because I was still so angry. I yelled at FH that night about other things as well as our issue because I just couldn't deal with the pain I was feeling anymore. He finally listened to me and we talked about it briefly. I guess the issue was that FH was overwhelmed with everything that was going on with graduation coming up and when I mentioned the wedding it was the icing on the cake to his stress more or less. I told him that he needs to COMMUNICATE when he has issues like this so we can deal with them rather then everytime letting them boil over. He agreed and apologized. We decided that we will weigh out the pros and cons of his issues (getting married in 2 years) this week. I told him that I want him to bring it up and discuss it rather than me always being the one to resolve things and poke at him to talk to me. He said that he would, so I guess we will see where that ends up. I forgot who said this I think it was Ryanne but I agree that part of the problem was how is he going to take care of me. FH has a good job, but it is not his career and I think that because he is not at that point yet, he fears when he will be there. I don't think I told you, but FH applied to law school and did not get in. His LSAT scores were not what they should be and neither was his GPA. While I do feel bad for him and am there for him in what he is going through, there were plenty of times where I was doing homework everyday and asked if he had anything to do and he said no. He also never took a prep class for his LSATs but went in there cold turkey, which IMO is not a good idea. I recently asked him why he majored in History when he did not like reading because history is a lot of reading and he really didn't know why. He said that he liked history. I understand that, but you also have to read the book that the test is on in order to do good on the test, right? Well FH skimmed the book or chapters so therefore IMO he did not put all his effort into doing extremely well and therefore didn't. As much as I don't like doing school work I knew it had to get done and I had to do good. I did it, no questions asked. So I feel that because he did not get into law school and doesn't want to retake his LSAT's or retake some classes he didn't do well in and reapply next year he is afraid of where he will be and what he will do. I asked him about this and told him that is why I felt that if anything he should get his master's and is this why he wanted to push back the wedding and he said no. He said that he has no problem being married and going to grad school so i don't know. Like I said I do feel that it is because he doesn't have his career yet and wants to be able to provide for me and not have to struggle once we get married but he hasn't actually come out and said this, maybe when we have our talk he finally will if this is the issue. I try to be very supportive of him not getting into law school as I know it was hard on him, I just tell him that even though he did not get in this year, it didn;t mean he couldn't try again. I also told him that even though one door might have closed maybe another opened. That in the end, he might have to take another path to get to his goal, but he is determined and will get there no matter what it takes. And so on. I just don't know what else to say to make him feel better about it.

IMO I just feel that aside from why I want to get married in 2011, I feel that it will make things so much easier. FH and I are always given a problem when we want to go away from his parents because it "doesn't look good" to everyone that we are going away alone together. I think that once we get married we have no problem going anywhere we want, where as now we have to lie to his grandparents. A perfect example is FH's uncle asked him to go and play in this softball tourney in NY. FH said yes and of course wants me to go. I have no problem going because everyone is bringing their SO or families. The problem is that FH's uncle is going to bust balls about us staying together and in the same bed and so on and FIL's don't agree with that kind of stuff. Plus the privacy is a big thing. We both live at home and can't do whatever we want when we want kind of thing. I enjoy baking and when FH and I have the house to ourselves and we cook we enjoy doing it together and I really look forward to us doing these things.

Well I should get back to work ... I'll check in again later!! Hope everyone is having a good day!

Nessa - Hope everything is going well!!!


 

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Love1120 Posts : 5 Registered: 3/18/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 1:01 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Ryanne - We are getting married on November 20, 2009. It's a Friday evening wedding. Right now I am trying to decide between a buffet or cocktail reception. Any recommendations?

Arianna - I hope things get better for the two of you and congrats on graduating!

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: Love1120

Hey Girls!!!

Jewel~ I think the stuff from Bonnie would be great to send to Ryan. I think he would really enjoy seeing and hearing how she is doing while he is gone. I can only imagine he may be feeling guilty for not being there to witness everything and will love being updated.

Ryanne~ I hope all is going well, how is the bathroom mold test going? There are easy fixes to mold, but the huge thing (which can be a pain in the @$$ and expensive) is you have to figure out what is causing the mold and fixing that problem. Is Chris feeling any better?

Autumn~ Any word from the school you applied to? Or have you moved on from that and staying focused on mobing to Florida?

Ariana~ How was graduation? I am glad that you and FH were able to discuss whats been going on a little bit. I will never be able to understand why guys are so afraid to talk to us about whats bothering us. I think I finally got my FH into the habbit of it

Welcome to the new girls!!!

Love~ What type of buffet would you do if you do a buffet, or what time of cocktail recption are you thinking about? I think either would be nice, tho!!


Ok so my bachlorette party was Saturday night and it was a blast!! My MOH came up early and we went and got my dress....I felt so dumb I forgot my slip and bra......But I had my shoes in the car from our dance lesson Friday night!The dress fits me amazingly now!! I was so worried, so was the seamstress because she had to take it in like 3 inches, and it got to the point where she couldn't take it in any more! I think I may have to invest in some of the double sided sticky tape just in case, she said since I am busty that its really hard to get a good fit in the top... After that I drove my MOH by the wedding site and she fell in love with it! We got some lunch and hung out with my FH for a little while before he drove us to the hotel we were staying at. My other BM showed up about 7 and we hung out in our room (we were going to go swimming, but they didn't have the pool open yet) Then we got ready and I got covered in condoms...I had a veil that my MOH put condoms all over, and then she put an open condom on the zipper of my pants. We left to go to dinner, but didn't exactly know where we were going, and the shuttle never came by. We got halfway to where we wanted to have dinner before the shuttle came by we hopped on, it announced our stop and kept going, we had to get off at the end and walk back down to where we wanted to have dinner. We finally got there at like 9:20ish and they had a 20 minuets wait (which I think is crap, the people in front of us walked right in, and there were several open tables!) So we left because we had a show to go to at 10. We walked around and found the theater we were going to. The show was sooooo fun. It was an improve show so it was like being at Who's Line is it Anyways. There was a bacherlor party there too, we both got picked on so bad! But it was really fun! After that we decided to try and go to Chili's accross the street, but they close at like 11, so we walked around looking for a bar and decided to go into Coyote Ugly, that was right next to our hotel, but it was too loud and crowded, and the bar tender didn't even look at us the whole 15 mins or so we were there so we decided to go next door to the Bowling alley. That was so much fun, and they gave me a voucher for 2 hours of bowling, shoes, and chips and salsa for up to 16 people for free!! We bowled a game, and had several drinks. We got nice and VERY buzzed and decided to go Taco Bell and get some food to try and sober up a little bit so we could go back to the hotel and drink some more. We got back to the hotel, and I think my Bm is the only one of the three of us that actually finished a drink there, my MOH and I drank half of ours and stayed up talking for like 3 hours. I think I got like 2 hours of sleep that night though.....Yesterday my MOH and I went back to my place and my FH joined us and we went to Costco and got stuff for our rehearsal dinner BBQ and then my MOH went home and FH and I finished our weekly shopping. I am mad at Target!! They have had a really nice wedding section with like inventatons, program paper, and a ton of other stuff. The Target close to my house didn't have that aisle and I figured it was because it was a smaller Target so we went to the big one where I know they had the asile because thats where I got my inventations.....They don't have one either!! I wanted to get a picture frame that the mat could be signed instead of a guest book, and they had one in that asile I wanted for a good price. So I got online, and within like 150 miles or so they are all sold out. I could order it, but the earliest it would ship is the 21....thats cutting it WAAAAY to close for me! So now I am going to Micheal's today to look for something that will work. I also have to drop my dress off to get cleaned, the lady that altered it doesn't clean it.....So I called around and found a place with a coupon, so I called and they had a really good price, but he said it takes about 2 weeks. I was like any chance you could get it done before Sunday because my wedding is Sunday and I just got it back from the seamstress. He told me to bring it on in, and I feel confident about it because he said they do it by hand so they don't mess up any of the beading!! And tonight my BM is comming over to help me make the boutiners for the guys, and finish wrapping our bouquets. God I ca't beilive I am getting married Sunday!!

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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: sweaterpoorlyknit

Hey ladies!

I have to run here in a second to go teach but I thought I'd drop by. ;-)

I got my grades in! Well, all but one. So far I have all As except for 1 B, which I kind of expected. But I have a high GPA so it's all good. :-)

The recital went well yesterday...it was kind of sad because I have a lot of friends in the studio who are leaving. And it made me feel really old because I graduated HS three years ago this month. lol.

And I haven't done a TTD session yet, we're still trying to figure out a good time to do it. But I will for sure post pics when I get them!

Autumn: I know what you mean! I'm considering going back to school for my masters already. lol. I would love to but I'm not sure it would make it difference in the money I make, so we'll see. I feel destined to be a student forever!

Sweater: I'm really enjoying being married! We are about to hit one year already! It's just crazy, IMO. lol. The only thing that would make me happier is if we were in our own place. But that will come, so I'm just waiting.

Opps! I stayed too long. Gotta run! Talk you girls later!

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Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 5:37 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 18, 2009 9:49 PM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

Autumn - we had decided to have a long engagement because we were both only juniors in college and we wanted to finish with school. I had also always planned on getting my masters and knew from then that it was a 1 year program full time and then I was planning to sit for my CPA. So for me no matter what avenue I went I was going to be done with school before we got married and have a job. Even if I had waited to take my CPA exam it is not a big deal, but I was and still am planning on getting it. FH wanted to go to law school. He would have been going into his 3rd year when we got married but that wasn't a big deal because I would have my career and he would still have his current job (which as I mentioned is a good flexible job) so we would still have the income, but his career would be lined up when he was done and passed the bar. Now things have changed, but it isn't to the extent where we can't get married IMO. I am still on track to get my masters and would only go part time (2 year program) if I had my career job, which I don't so no biggie, I wanted to go full time anyways. FH as I said didn't get into law school, so he is not longer going to be a lawyer, but that is because he doesn't want to try again at a later time. His decision, not mine. We had talked about him getting his master's because he wouldn't have to go back to school, but also could get his career job in 1-2 years depending on what type of program he decided to go with. As I said before, he now says he wants to take a year off. Whatever I completely disagree, but once again his decision. I asked him if he wanted to push the wedding back because he wanted to take time off before he went back to school and he said no he had no problem getting his masters and being married. So I don't really see the problem with that. He talks about financials but that is not an issue with us, we both do really well with saving the extra money we need for our future, that was our plan when we got engaged and that hasn't changed. We were building a house because we had the land already, so once again that was saving us money and that hasn't changed. So to me I really don't see what the problem is when nothing has really changed except that we graduated which we knew was going to happen this year and that we put away more money as time goes on, FH claims nothing else is the issue.

He told me today that he wants to talk on Wednesday. That would be a week after we got into our fight. That kind of shit does not sit well with me. He got pissed at me because I told him today that when we get married he needs to learn how to deal with things and talk about these problems as they arise. I'm sorry but that is the truth I am not going to wait 1 week being under the same roof to talk about a problem because he doesn't feel like talking about it. It is something that he needs to get over and soon. I cannot marry someone who cannot communicate correctly. I'll give you an example. Yesterday we had FHs graduation, we went out to dinner after, then FH went home to change and came up to my house because we had to go to our friend's house because he graduated too and his mom was having friends and family over because she was not having a graduation party for him. Anyways FH came up to my house and when he got here he told me that he didn't feel well. He said that he felt that he was going to throw up. I told him to lay down and it was probably because he was tired from what went on all weekend. We both ended up falling asleep. His dad, no joke, called 5 times. Instead of FH saying that he layed down because he didn't feel good he kept on saying that we would be there. Maybe, just maybe if he opened his mouth and communicated that he was sick his dad was stop calling him continuously. It was annoying, and I kept on telling him to tell his dad that he didn't feel good and he like refused to do so. I just don't get it at all. Like is it that hard to tell him that you didn't feel well??

He just expects me to see him all the time and act like everything between us is normal and I don't feel like it is. I have a big problem with a lot of things that went on with our fight and how he has acted since. He knows that I balled my eyes out Wednesday and Thursday and Friday too actually and you think that he would want to talk about it as soon as the weekend is over? Nope, he has to think about things and we can talk on Wednesday. WTF do you have to think about? If you honestly have to think whether or not you want to marry me, I don't want to marry him. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I hate bullshit and don't deal with it. Not saying that he said that is what he has to think about, but I mean c'mon you have to think about whether or not you want to get married in 2 years, I thought that was what the talk was about?

I'm sorry, I'm babbling. Anyways, Autumn about the living situation I can move out of my house but if I do so, I am going to have to take the money I would use to pay for grad school and put it towards rent and so on. I don't really want to have a school loan when we are suppossed to start building our house and plan on getting married. So I don't know how good of an idea that would be.

Well I will check in later talk to you all soon.


 

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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 19, 2009 1:02 AM Go to message in response to: Ariana1228

Hello everyone!
My goodness it has been a while and as much as I would love to reply to all of you I am afraid that task is just a bit to overwhelming.

I would like to welcome all the new girls and let you know that this is a great place to come for help on ideas and to vent id that is something you need.

I thought I would give you all a quick update!
So I have a very limited amount of time left before the big day. Just under three months. I can't believe how much there is to do, and how close we are.
Ben and I's wedding bands came in, Ben was so excited about it. It was really sweet!
The Invites have finally been sent out, well most of them. We still have to hand deliver some of them. Which hasn't been going our way so far but hopefully that will change.
We have finally decided which salads we want our caterers to make.
We are working on a wedding play list and have the main songs picked out.
Bridesmaids, flower girl, and ring bear are going to be going down to The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson. I am going to be coming down to Always by Weezer. We haven't figured out the song we will be leaving too but that is okay.
My veil came in which I was really excited about.
Pretty much what is left is the smaller details.
The main thing drifting around in my mind is creating the program.
Does anyone know how that is done?

The biggest thing going through my mind at the moment isn't really wedding related. Ben has a room mate, but, his room-mate has the master bedroom the problem for me is that He doesn't really need the master bedroom and Ben and I are going to be sharing a room and need the space that the master bedroom has. Ben has been in the house a lot longer then his room-mate and is pretty much the land lord but he wont ask his room-mate to switch rooms because he doesn't want his room-mate to leave. I just figure that logically we should have that room. It has caused some pretty big arguments between Ben and I. I just don't like the idea of possibly walking out of the bathroom in the evening in just my underwear and having his room-mate see me, and I don't want to have to cover up all the time either, seeing as it is my house with my New husband. I would really prefer an on-suit. Not only do I not like the idea of it being invasive but, the size of Ben's room right now hardly fits his bed. I don't mean to ramble but I am just frustrated that Ben doesn't see my logic in this, to tell you the truth his mother, who owns the house and is renting it out to Ben and his room mate, sides with Ben. Is it really that unlogical of me to want the master bedroom?

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 19, 2009 12:26 PM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

heyyyyy ladies

welcome to all the newbies!
i feel like i say that everytime i come on here now!!!

anyshoes

Nessa, Nessa, Nessa! You are getting married in less than a week! (As if you need reminding!) I am so excited for you. I feel like I have been like 'Oh my god, Nessa, you are getting married in 2 months!', 'Oh my god, Nessa, you are getting married in 6 weeks!" and I will probably keep doing that up until Saturday.
Eff Target eh? I hope Michaels works out for you! Keep us posted!
Your Bachelorette Party sounded like a lot of fun and is the kind of night that I want for my Bachelorette Party. Just some random good fun with the girls. I don't want it to be TOO big of a deal. And there is nothing more amazing than bowling!
Thank goodness your dress worked out well! And with the cleaners and everything. It's amazing that you can get it cleaned on short notice, and by hand too!

Carrot* Music is one of my favourite things to think about when I think about my wedding. Always is such a perfect song to walk down the aisle to! Do you know what you're going to do for your first dance? Greg and I have very different music tastes which make it a little difficult. He worships Keith Urban meanwhile I am not a country fan. When I think of a song that I might like to have as a main song at our wedding (first dance, walking down the aisle, last song, etc.) I learn how to play it on the piano or the guitar and I play it for him in some sort of cute scenario to kind of make it like 'our song.' so that when it comes to choosing, those songs might stick out to him as more sentimental to us...hahahha...i am so manipulative...
Also I totally get why you two SHOULD have the master suite, you are a married couple rather than a single person and you do deserve some privacy. Honestly, the roommate should have offered it to you two...I know I would have. However, it is HIS room. If I was to approach the roommate I would go about it very, very carefully and just be sort of like "I understand that the master suite is yours, however how would you feel about trading with us after we get married?" I would probably explain some reasons and maybe even offer him some extra benefit. Is Ben actually the landlord? You said practically...Maybe offer a reduced rent? Or if all of you are paying rent, say 500 dollars a month...maybe offer to have him pay 450 and you guys 550 sort of situation...Make it seem worth it to him a bit...? I don't know. That's a tough situation.

Ariana* It seems like a major issue is the privacy situation. Any news on moving out from the parents house at all? I know that Greg and I definitely have privacy issues with living with our parents right. Luckily in just over a week we will be living in Muskoka. It won't be perfectly private, his parents will sometimes be up at the cottage as well as his siblings, but hey, it's better than how we are right now!

Anyshoes not too much going on over hurr.

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NKGiordano Posts : 57 Registered: 5/9/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 19, 2009 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Hey girls!!

I got my grades! All A's. 4.0 GPA. :) Yay!

I am SO nervous for tomorrow. I hope I dont trip or anything!

For all the girls getting married in 2011 or later, I know how much it sucks to wait so long. I just want to wedding plan already! We are getting started though.

My FSIL had her 2nd baby! It's a little girl name Kristina. She is named after my fiance. She is so beautiful.

We are having a graduation party on Saturday for me! I love party planning so its fun for me.

Kris also has an engineering degree plus he has his masters. He worked very hard because he didnt have anything growing up with his mom.

I have never met his mom though.

Natassia and Kris

July 16, 2011

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Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 19, 2009 2:08 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Jewel- I see how FH being in the military complicates your timeline a bit. I think that the cake sounds really cool and I like the idea of strawberries like flower petals! And a journal about Bonnie is great, that's something you guys will treasure forever.

Ariana- Congratulations on getting your degree! I'm so glad you and FH were able to talk. I agree 100% with you that communication is IMPORTANT! Luckily I have a boyfriend with the same priorities. Good luck with the rest of the talks this week. It sounds like the way FH is feeling isn't your fault in any way (yay!) but is completely him panicking about his future in school (too bad he realized the consequences of coasting thru college after graduation). If it makes you feel any better, I've read accounts from a few other brides.com members about fights they got into with FH during engagement that had them reconsidering the marriage, but they're all happily married now.

Sweater- Hi and welcome! Dont' worry about reading the entire thread- the cast is constantly changing so just read the few recent pages if you want to catch up or jump right in! Don't be afraid to ask questions if you want to know more about somebody. What do you want to do with an ESL degree? Teach abroad, in the states, young or old students, what level? Just curious because I'm currently earning my TESOL certificate (like Autumn said).

Ryanne- That's cool that you double-date/hang out with your little sister. I really want to have good relationships with my younger siblings so I'm going to try and do special activities with them during my weeks at home now. Nice job on the good grades!

Autumn- Congrats to your FH and his degree! I think that going for your Ph.D. would be awesome, but like you said, get a few years of teaching experience under your belt so you're not over-qualified for any positions and don't get hired because they'd have to pay you more. I'll keep my fingers crossed for teaching positions in FL to start opening up...

AJS- Hey there, welcome to the thread. It's a pretty happenin' place. ;) I believe there's now 4 of us on here who have boyfriends of three years and a proposal coming soon, lol.

Love- I think either a cocktail or buffet reception would be fun. In my head (and I don't know any rules or etiquette about this) a buffet is more casual and a cocktail reception more formal, so would one fit your "theme" or wedding vibe better? Also, which is cheaper? hehe

Nessa- Your bachelorette party sounds like so much fun! I love improv shows, and bowling too. I'm so glad everything is coming together smoothly and I'm looking forward to Sunday for you!

Carrot- That's great that you have so many things figured out for the wedding and I think it's awesome that you're walking down to a Weezer song. I would want the master bedroom too, and since Ben's mom owns the house, I think it's fair that your request to switch rooms. However, I can see why Ben might want to avoid a fight with his roommate (and seem greedy or insensitive by asking him to give up the large room) that could hurt their friendship forever. How much longer do you have to live in this place and what are Ben's reasons for not wanting to ask the roommate to swtich?

NK- Congrats to you too on the GPA and graduation!



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jeaniebelle87 Posts : 137 Registered: 11/23/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 19, 2009 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Um, I don't even know where to start catching up, so if I miss someone, I'm so sorry!!!

To everyone who graduated this past week- YAY!!! We're done!!!! (Well, with this part of school, as many are continuing on to more school, yikes!)

Natasia- Are you nervous about starting law school? I get a little sick to my stomach every time I think about it and start to freak out a bit. Maybe I'm just weird!

Nessa- It sounds like your bachelorette party was tons of fun! I love when things don't go as planned, but end up being even more fun because of it!!! I hope you have better luck at Michael's than you did at Target; it's such a bummer you couldn't find that frame. And wow! your date is coming up so quickly! Less than a week now, you must be very excited.

Ryanne- Congrats on the good grades! That's awesome!

Ariana- I really hope things go well when you talk to FH. Just try to stay calm and talk things out. You don't want this to end up being a shouting match, because then it will be harder to get him to open up to you in the future. Good luck!

Everyone who is new (sorry I haven't figured out names yet, I'll get on that)- Welcome! I can't wait to hear more about you!!!!

So, here's where I am now: I graduated last week, and now am focusing 100% of my energy on moving. It's been a couple of weeks of big surprises, and they just seem to keep going. I loaded all of my stuff into a moving truck on Sunday (which is a very moved up date, my parents convinced me to do it) and brought it all to my new apartment with their help, FH's and FIL's help. We got it all out of the truck and started loading it into my apartment when Eddie and his parents disappeared. They came back with a second moving truck and all of Eddie's stuff. Apparently he's moving in earlier than I thought! His stuff is all moved in to my apartment, and we're both flying back to MN for a few weeks, and while he's staying a week longer than I am, he's moved in and coming back to CT in mid-June rather than the end of August. I sort of had a minor panic attack that ended in my calling my roommate, Caitlin, freaking out and sort of repeating "I have to live with a boy" over and over again! lol Of course, I calmed down and realized that it was, in fact, a good thing and not as scary as maybe I initially thought. I tend to overreact at times. Anyways, at the moment everyone has gone back to MN, and I have till Friday to sort through this new turn of events. I really hate surprises because I really need time to process things and surprises don't allow much time for that to happen. Anyways, I'm now taking my time to unpack and arrange things and get my new home set up. Eddie gave me permission to do what I want with most of his stuff (he set aside a few boxes that I'm not allowed to touch, probably because I would toss the stuff inside them), so I've been going through his stuff to and deciding what makes sense to keep and what is just doubling stuff I already have, and if it is deciding which of our things is the better of the two and keeping only that. While I've been doing that, I've also started making a list so it will be easy to go fill out our registry with things we actually need. So, that's pretty much my last several days and now I better get back to unpacking! Hope you all have great days!!! :)

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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 20, 2009 1:31 AM Go to message in response to: jeaniebelle87

Hello Everyone,

Brighter- Music is a hard thing sometimes, especially if you don't typically listen to the same kind of music. I am sure that the songs you have song or played for Greg or much more special and sentimental than others. Ben and I have always been lucky in the fact that we enjoy the same type of music, actually music has always been a very important factor in our relationship. Ben and I have both been fans of Weezer for quite sometime so Always just seemed to be perfect. I have always known I wanted a song that wasn't a typical wedding song so I thought that one by Weezer would work well for what I wanted, plus Ben felt like his personality was being reflected in our wedding. About the landlord question: Ben's parents own the house but live about 13 hours away so Ben is the one who looks after the place and makes sure things are in order. Actually there is now a new problem about the master suit added to the one I am dealing with already.

Rose- In so many ways Weezer has created theme songs to Ben and I's relationship, so it was really important to me (as well as Ben) to include their songs in our wedding. About the master bedroom problem: (I have given it a name) Ben and I are planning to live in the place for two or so more years with his room-mate still living there.

Jeanie- Sounds like quite the weekend you had there. That is really sweet that your FH surprised you buy moving in too. Although, I also understand the stress that surprises can create. I hope you enjoy this down time where you can unpack and get on track with things you need etc. All the best as you start this life together, by that I mean living together.

So new complication to the Master Bedroom Issue: Ben's mom doesn't think that we should ask Mason if he wouldn't mind switching rooms. I feel that both Ben and her are thinking about the Rent $ and not the Marriage. It is very important for Newly Weds to have privacy, and frankly I feel that for Ben and I's relationship to be as strong as it can be we need that space where we can walk in and out of the washroom and just be ourselves. Ben's room right now just isn't suitable for what are needs are. The thing is, I really don't want to piss of the future mother-in-law before we even get a chance to be in-laws. I am ready to just let this whole thing go and be miserable - but survive - in the tiny room Ben has. (Although I have no idea where I am going to fit my stuff) At least my mother agrees with me.


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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 20, 2009 9:56 AM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

Carott - Did the roommate live in the master bedroom in the beg so they could get more rent money from him? That is what I am assuming because you said they care about the rent money.

I have to say that I agree with you about the privacy issue. It is a big thing in serious relationships esp. in marriages. Maybe if you could try talking to Ben about it and let him see your side. Say I understand how you may feel uncomfortable asking roommate to switch rooms, but I feel very uncomfortable not have the privacy that I want between us being newlyweds. Tell him how there is not enough room is his room for your stuff to fit and you want to be able to feel comfortable in your own home too. Maybe once you point out some of these things he can see your side and understand it. I wouldn;t get FMIL involved until the 2 of you have talked about it in detail and made a decision. I understand it is her house, but you guys are the married couple and need to make that decision between you and then let her know of your decision.

Nessa - Hope everything is going great!! You are so close!! YAY!!!

Jeanie - Hope the moving is going good too, I can only imagine moving everything and graduating ... stressfull and a lot of work!

FH and I talked more about things last night. In the beginning it didn't go well, but in the end it ended up being ok. He finally broke down and told me what his issue was with not wanting to get married in 2 years. I pushed him to tell me because he needed to come out and say it. He felt a lot better when he ended up doing so. The issue that he has is that he is afraid that he isn't going to be able to provide for our family. I said well we don't have any kids right now so it is just us and as much as I love kids and want one, I wouldn't plan on doing so until we are financially stable. FH and I also want time to ourselves to enjoy being married and have the freedom to do what we want with no worries. I told him that everything will be ok, he has a good job now and in the end everything works out. He said that he knows that it is going to work out, but that the thought of it just scares him and until he is ready to overcome that fear he can't say whether or not he wants to get married in 2 years. Also FH and I have been disconnected from each other in the last couple of months. We talked about this as well and we feel that it was due to the fact that up until graduation last weekend we had so much going on with school that it pushed us away because we really couldn't go out and enjoy ourselve completely. So we agreed that we are going to work to fix that. We both want nothing more for things to go back to the way that they were. FH said that maybe once things are back to normal and there is no pressure about the wedding we can talk about it and most likely get married in 2 years. He said he just doesn't want to think about it right now he just wants to relax and enjoy our time together. He told me not to cancel the place that we have as the right to refusal so that is a good sign. I know that he is stressed about things and so am I, but I just hope that we can be back the way we were soon and enjoy the summer. This weekend is a long weekend, so hopefully we can reconnect over it.

Talk to you all soon!

 

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 20, 2009 7:56 PM Go to message in response to: Ariana1228

Hey Girls!!! I'll try and reply to everyone as best I can.

Brighter~ I hope you have a good summer, and enjoy your time with Greg.

Carrot~ I owuld be frustrated about not having the master bedroom after you guys get married. I wonder if the roommate already thinks something about it and is willing to switch, but is afraid to say anything? Thats horrible FH and his mother are more worried about the money than helping your new marrage. I have no advice sorry, I do hope everything works out.

Ariana~ I am sorry FH is being stubborn about not wanting to get married. I never understood why guys are so obsessive with having to take care of us. FH gets all antsy every so offten because I will say something about wanting something, or wanting to go some where and hes like I am a horrble Fh I can't give you the things you want. So I have to remind him I am with him because I love him, not for money. If I want something bad enough I will get it myself, I am very independant when it comes to money and things I want. I hope you guys enjoy your long weekend together and do get in some bonding time. Maybe try and set up a date night every week or every other week, even if its just a dinner out, its better than falling into a rut and not having time to bond.

Jeanie~ Awww how exciting your FH will be moving in sooner than expected. I can understand the stress of the surprise though....He seems to like to surprise you a lot! I think thats a good idea to keep a list of what you need for the registry. I had a hard time registering because we have lived together for 2 years so we have pretty much everything we need, I did put a lot of things that could be updated, but we need money more than anything since were going to try and buy a house right after the wedding.

Ok so I forgot if there was anything else....sorry if I forgot anyone!!

Omg 4 days away!!! I still don't think it has hit me that hard yet. My little sister sent me a text message earlier asking if it has hit me yet, and I really don't feel it. I am excited for everyone to get here and see everyone, and have this be over.....Last night we had one of the GM's drop out. I am very disappointed. We gave him at least 4 months notice, and he still hasen't booked anything, got his tux, nothing so I guess yesterday he realized he just can't do it. FH is a little bummed its a friend he hasn't seen in YEARS, but he kept saying it wouldn't shock him if he flaked out on us, and he did. I was teasing FH last night about is OCD....or CDO as he says (its OCD but in the correct order.....) And the sides being uneven, and he was a little creeped out by it, but it should all be ok in the end.....I am excited one of my BM's is on here way over so we can do the bouts, my mom's corasge, re-wrap the bouquets, and put together the favors. We also bought our picture frame guest book thing, our poster board for the thank yous. Oh i don't know if I have mentioned that. Instead of typical thank you cards we're ging to have the photog take a pic of us holding a poster board saying thank you than we will take that to Target or Walgreens and have it made into a card!! How cool is that!? Well I am off for now!

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