A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

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JewelOfTheSea Posts : 32 Registered: 12/22/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 5:21 PM Go to message in response to: Coquille

So i have been atrociously sick and i had to go to the hospital and be hooked up to IVs (I have an awful phobia. it was horrid) so now im getting better but then my baby (shes only 6 weeks!) got it yesterday and i was just barely able to help her, now my mom is sick and im trying to help her and baby and still not over do it my self. sigh Im in crunch time now my graduation is just 3 weeks away and i still have my SP to finish and a speech credit that went missing (cause my school cant keep correct records to save their lives) so im working that out and the company that does the announcments didnt send the right things so now im even MORE befuddled cause i didnt even know why i NEEDED announcements cause everyone i know is in my school and my graduating class is the biggest at 43 so EVERYONE knows EVERYONE and my mom insisted we get them and send them to my grandparents who live in SOUTH CARONLINA and OHIO!!! Im in Washington state for goodness sakes they didnt come to my sisters they arent coming to mine its just 200 dollars down the tube and they sent us the wrong thing! oh boy im flustered so...long story short i didnt really read EVERYTHING everyone wrote sense last time i was in here so...anyone wanna give me th quick reveiw? like 3 paragraphs or less? lol

Jeaniebelle i saw something was up with your church? whats going on are they gonna let you get married there?

Someone was looking to rent an appartment...im hesitiant to say who maybe...blackdiamond? (sorry still sick brained)

Um...the girl with the picture of santa...i forget names! your running out of time huh? if you have any places called "The Purple Parasole" (i think thats how its spelled) around where you live they are AMAZING at alterations and can do them in like 1 or 2 days not expensive

someone else was having padre issues, my dad is like that at times. and i cant really sudgest anything cause i cant even talk to my own dad about it he scares me to much, but it sounds like your pretty straight forward with your dad so i would probably just ask him to sit outside with you and tell him how much you love him and that you need him in your life and your not ready for him to let go and ask him if hed be willing to make some changes so he can stick around and be your daddy some more. Im sure he misses the days when he was the man who meant the most in your life and you were his little girl so let him know you still need him to be there.

well...i forgot everything else i was gonna say. GOODLUCK EVERYONE! and...I forget the name but girl whos going to school and counting down, HANG IN THERE!!!

Coquille-Thats terrible! Depending on where you live in oregon, and as long as your talking wa state, your mom could be pretty close to where you are now! and if thats the case all you have to do is get permission from whatever school is in the town your mom is in to continue to go to YOUR school, kids here do it all the time to go to the next towns school. but if that totally isnt the case see if one of your friends of your FHs family would be willing to let you stay for a month or so while you run down leads on rooms to rent. does your town or city have a transportation bus or something? they tend to have lower rates for students and can get you to and from school and work and are way cheaper than driving. yes its totally an image killer but one must do what they must do. cars can come pretty cheap if you lower your standards. look for something with all four wheels, all windows, functioning engine and all that stuff under the hood, and a heater. you dont need an air conditioner if the windows roll down. you dont need radio or cd or casset players and neat upholstery can be added later, OH also make sure the headlights tail lights brake lights and turn signals work and have rearveiw mirrors and such. another tip for living on a budget, buy non perishables in bulk, like peanut butter (but not like in one big vat) top ramen or those types of things. GOOD LUCK GIRL!

OH NO!!! i just found out that i was wrong about the season. so my wedding is in Nov. and where i live it most certainly winter time by then but everyone else says thats fall. do i have to change my color scheme and flowers and everything??? gosh this is depressing :(


Edited by: JewelOfTheSea on May 2, 2009 5:29 PM

Edited by: JewelOfTheSea on May 2, 2009 9:09 PM

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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 10:27 PM Go to message in response to: JewelOfTheSea

Hello Everyone,
I am sorry, I have been so busy and it has been a while since I wrote. My goodness, we have been doing a lot. And next weekend we are going to be super busy, Ben's sister is getting married and we have to drive like 10 hours to get there. Which means I have to have my invitations done so that I can drop some off for people who are going to be there. (Of course we aren't going to be doing this until the day after the wedding because I would feel bad drawing attention to us when it is supposed to be on the bride.)

So here it goes:

Blackdiamond- It is always so encouraging when you see your FH get along with people who are important to you. Ben is pretty introverted so I was worried a few times when we went to my relatives, bu so far he has suprized me with how friendly and talkative he can be.

Jewel- About the invitation questions, they say that unless your wedding is on a holiday that Save-The-Dates aren't nessassary. I would say just to wait to send out invitations. I mean people will ask and you can tell them, but if you are worried about them inviting themselves say something like, "We want to have a small intimate wedding with only our family and closest friends." or maybe something like, "We don't have a large budget so not everyone I want to invite I can invite." Just a subtle hit that they may not be getting something in the mail.

Rose- The excitement of a possible proposal is GREAT! I can remember before Ben proposed sitting in his living room circling rings that I liked in the flyers and jokingly asking hime when he would do it. I was so surprised and excited when it finally happened. It is always such an excutiating time waiting because you don't want to be let down at every occassion he does something special. I am so excited for you and this upcoming adventure.
About the appartment. I for one would get the Studio, just because I need space for myself. I couldn't share my space with another few people, especially if I don't know them. Just do what is best for you.

Nessa- It is so cute how worried our FH can get about our health. I know Ben is always there being my nurse when I am sick and telling me I should see a Doctor. I hope you get better soon though. Oh and your hair looks great! It is so exciting when things finally start feeling they something is happening.

Natasha- It is so nice to hear from you again. Sounds like things are going well for you and your Doctor boyfriend. How exciting! Ben is the cutest when he is asleep and I always just think he looks so perfect. I can't wait till I can sleep with him everynight.

Ryanne- I know what you mean about living in a glass house. Sometimes just staying at my FIL's place I feel like my every move is being watched, don't get me wrong I love them and they really care about the both of us. I just feel like there is no time for just Ben and I and it is difficult. The only thing is that I don't have to live with that feeling all the time and I have no idea how you do. Maybe the feeling of bitchyness has something to do with the lack of privacy and therefore the lack of sex.

I know I have missed some of you, don't worry I will write again soon.

Ben and I just started pre-marital councelling yesterday and it went really well. I love the people who are doing it for us. They make it feel so causal and relaxed and I don't feel like I am being judged. Tomorrow we are hopinh to get the rest of the cards most of the way done. I don't know if it will happen but I sure hope so. Wish me luck.


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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 11:09 PM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

Hey girls!!
Gosh I can't beilve I am still sick!! I still have no voice, and I am coughing like crazy. FH is so great though he takes care of me. Saturdays are usually are day to run errands, get grocieries, cat food, ect. And he didn't want to let me come today, but I made him take me. We had fun, and it wasn't to strenus. I talked to my MOH who works at Walgreens and her boss said he would give us a deal on sun block for the out of town guest bags I want to do and with the discount it ended up being $80 still!! I couldn't beilive it! So i decided that we would get the little travel bottles and fill it with sun block and make our own labels. The bottles were only $1 each, and we are going to get a bigger bottle of sun block for as cheap as we can getSO hopefully that won't be to much over $20 total for that project. I am debating if I still want to put chap stick in each bag. We are also going to put a couple bottles of water and a granola bar or two for each person. I love Costco, we are going to get 35 water bottles for $5, granola bars are like $8 for 45 and the bags are $15 from Oriental Trading company. We are also going to put a welcome letter in there and a warning of don't drink to much as everyone is from fairly close to sea level, and here in CO its easy to get drunk witht he lack of oxigen, also remind them that since we are so much closer to the sun, and the ozone is thinner here they need the sun block, and because of the altitude to drink lots of water so they don't get sick. We will also include a map to near by resfurants, grocery stores, attractions, and of course the wedding site. I just feel like I am missing something....any suggestions??

Jewel~ I am so sorry to hear you are sick, and so is your mom and baby, that has to be hard with having everyone being sick!! as for your colors, I say if you want to have a fall themed wedding in November, even if theres snow on the ground I say go for it. But also I have seen so many nice things for a winter wedding if you do decide you want to do that. I think either one would be amazing. I almost did a winter wedding, but realized that not to many of our guests would be able to make it so I decided on spring, and then I started planning in the fall and fell in love with all kinds of fall ideas, and fall is my favorite season. If you want any ideas for either scenireo let us know, I have a ton of pics for both of them.

Coll~ I am sorry to hear things arn't going so well! Since you will be 18 and it is your senior year of high school you should be able to stick around. If your mom talks with the school and lets them know whats going on or whatever there should be no problems. I was 18 all of my senior year and my parents hated having to call in for me if I was sick, or had to leave early, or running late or whatever so they went to the school and told em look shes 18 she does her own thing, its her responsibilty to take care of school issues now, so they let me do all the calling in and what not. Do you have a job right now? If not i would suggest looking for one, maybe in a grocery store, or I worked in an inbound call center during high school, and they let us do our homework while it was slow, so maybe look into that. Call centers usually pay pretty good and are easy to get hired onto, and most offer decent part time hours. Also I agree that if there is public transportation to get you where you need to go that would be a very effective way to go, and that way you don't have to have car payments, insurance, pay for gas, and routine maitnince. My Fh hasn't had a license in almost 10 years because he just rode the bus everywhere, or walked. But the town I grew up in that wasn't really an option so if its not for you thats understandable. Also if you have a job, or can get one pretty quick you can figure out what you can afford on rent i have noticed that apartment places like as much notice as possible to get an apartment ready for you. Or if you have a close friend whoes parents will let you stay with them that would be great too. Good luck with everything!!

Well I don't remember what else is going on so I am going to go take some cough medicine and get some rest! Talk to you girls later!

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 3, 2009 12:55 AM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Nessa* your FH (not future for long!) sounds sweet. Greg loves taking care of me when i'm sick, it's adorable. I think your OOT bags sound perfect. Really their purpose is to provide them with information and things that they need. So really all that's reccommended is information about local businesses that they will most likely be using and probably a map. If I had enough money I would probably buy a coupon to a local eatery or even just like starbucks or something. I never thought about the fact that you are closer to the sun...or the oxygen situation that makes you get drunk easier...That's kind of interesting actually...anyways I'm so sorry you are sick and I hope you feel better soon!

Carrot* I'm glad that the counselling has been a good experience so far! Out of curiosity, what is it like? What kind of questions do they ask? I am debating over whether to eventually do this.

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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 3, 2009 2:09 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Brighter- It was really a good experience. It was more of a conversation. They gave us a book to read through and then we both have a work book that corresponds with the book. It was a really good experience. I feel more like I am talking to friends who are able to give good advice rather than people getting paid to "help" us. The main reason Ben and I are doing this is because the person we want to marry us, as well as many Christian pastors, require you to have pre-marital counseling before they will marry you. Although, I highly suggest doing it. It really helps you pick through things that may cause problems down the road. I would totally say it is a great benefit.

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Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 3, 2009 2:04 PM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

BlackDiamond- Thanks! I'd been unconsciously leaning towards the studio the whole time and finally realized it when I imagined the future and if I'd have any regrets. If the situation with the sublet roommates didn't work out I'd always regret not taking the studio, but with my own place I have an idea of what to expect and I don't think I'll be wishing for the roommates! This huge house I've been in the past two years has been a fantastic experience, but now I guess I'm ready to try the polar opposite, lol. Glad to hear the living situation with the other couple has been worked out!

Here's a question for everyone not living alone with their FH: How's the privacy? Dealing with roommates, flatmates, other couples, parents or grandmothers, does it kill the intimacy or do you forge on regardless? Do you try to keep it down or don't care? If there are other couples, do you ever hear them? (I'll answer this later, I'm still catching up on the last day's posts...)

Brighter- Welcome back and don't stay away so long, lol. You mentioned getting in time with family and Greg before you go away for the summer, what are your plans?

Coquille- Wow, I'm sorry to hear about the financial troubles of your family and the issues with moving. Do you have a job so you can start saving for being on your own?

Jewel- Hope you're feeling better soon! Try calling that company, explain your problem and demand an immediate solution at no extra cost. If they won't give it to you, cancel your order, save yourself the headache and the cost, and call your relatives personally or make/buy cheaper announcments. Your daughter is cute, what's her name?

Carrot- What a great idea to hand out invites in person when the family is already together! And I'm glad the pre-marital counseling is going well, I think it has so much potential to be helpful for a couple!

Nessa- OOT bags are a great idea! Gotta admit, I love my chapstick, so I'd vote to put them in but how many are you making? Also, that's hilarious that you're including the warning about higher altitude drinking, but if I were a guest I'd be grateful to at least have been warned, so keep it in, haha. Not sure what else you could include... sunglasses? flip flops? disposable camera? a souvenir keychain? deck of cards? a cheap toy or two if they have kids? I'd put important cell numbers (like your and FH's parents, possibly yours) in case they need to call the local family for any reason.







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Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 3, 2009 8:12 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 3, 2009 8:13 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

I just came on here quick inbetween doing homework and studying but I just wanted to comment on Rose's post.

As you all know I live at home with my parents and FH lives at home with his ... FH stays over here on the weekends and we sleep together when he does. I mean like in the same bed and intimacy wise. No one hears us and we only usually do it when no one is home or before bed .. that is the only problem that we have with living with family. He comes over more than the weekends so we have sex more then twice a week but it is usually when everyone is in bed. I don't sleep at FHs house simply because they are loud and we can't sleep together so it's not really worth it. Another reason why I really want my own place!! About the barn idea I think it could work, the only problem is that we have to get rid of the horse first which could take sometime.

Anyways ... just wanted to reply to her ? talk to you all tomorrow after my 2 finals possibly!!

 

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 12:27 AM Go to message in response to: Ariana1228

Greg and I both live at home too. However, most of the year we spend at school so we're actually not at our parents houses all that often. Right now, before we leave to work for the summer, which is working at a resort on a lake in Muskoka, we are living at our parents homes. Greg and I are allowed to sleep in my room at my house but at his house we're not. Every once in a while we will very quietly have sex in the middle of the night at my house but not very often...that's my call...if it was his way he probably wouldn't care about waking up my Mom. We usually just keep our fingers crossed that during the day parents will have to leave to go on errands or go out to a party at night or something so that we have the place to ourselves (of course that also involves getting siblings out of the house...so it's pretty rare.) During the summer I live at the resort and he lives at his cottage...so basically I live at his cottage...his parents won't allow me to just stay there for the summer even though I sleep there when they are there (just not in the same room) and for some reason they honestly believe that when they are gone that I actually sleep in my bed at the resort...hahahh false.

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jeaniebelle87 Posts : 137 Registered: 11/23/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 11:07 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Rose- That's so exciting that you made your decision! I'm sure you're going to love your studio and all the privacy it offers!! I hope everything works out really well with your new home!

Blackdiamond- It's good to hear you figured out what was going on with your roommates, and that they wont be breaking your lease, so you wont have to move/find new roommates!

Jewel- I've always thought of Nov as winter, but I grew up in Minnesota, so I think of March as winter, and I'm still unconvinced that NYC has winter at all, so I might be a bit of a biased source. Anyways, I think at very least Nov. is a border month, and you should just do what makes you happiest.

Carrot- It sound like your premarital counseling is really awesome. It's really nice that it's easy and comfortable to talk to the couple that's helping you! The church I'm getting married at does a similar thing, setting you up with a married couple to talk you through things, and I like that idea much more than having to sit down and do it with a priest, which seems a bit more intimidating to me!

Nessa- I was in a friends wedding not too long ago, and she did OOT bags. It sounds like you put similar things in them. I think the one I got was the same as the ones everyone else was given, and it had a map of the town, and a list of fun things to do there. It also had a bottle of water, a small bag of peanuts, a small bag of goldfish, a granola bar, and a coffee chocolate bar, in other words, lots of hangover food! (probably a smart bet knowing many of my friends) I think the sunscreen is a great idea, and I think the little travel bottles will turn out adorable! You can personalize them :) Plus, that seems very thoughtful.

Ariana- My best friend is obsessed with ferrets. lol Good luck with your portfolio and presentation! I hope everything goes really well!!!!!!

Brighter- It's nice that you're so comfortable at home. Neither FH nor I still live at home, so when we're both back there visiting, my parents would never let us even sleep in the same bed. His parents do, but FH has this weird thing about sleeping in the bed in his old bedroom, as in he refuses to sleep there if I'm staying too, and so we end up on the pullout bed in the basement. He's an odd duck... I've always thought it was especially weird considering the fact that we've been dating off and on since we were around 13, so it's not like I've never been in his childhood bedroom.

So, provided all goes well, I now officially have a wedding date! It's May 21st, 2010! It's a friday, which is a bit unusual, but I really want to do an evening wedding, which you can't really do in most Catholic Churches on a Sat. because they have Sat evening mass. Plus, everything is cheaper on a Friday night than on a saturday night!

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 11:59 AM Go to message in response to: jeaniebelle87

Good morning girls! Still sick and miserable....But I am slowly getting better!

Whoever asked about the privacy with FH before living together. I lived with my father, in a tiny house so when FH would come over he hated trying to have sex at night since my room was about 3 steps away from my dad's room. So we would have to wait until my dad left for the day...Every so offten we would try quietly, but that wasn't offten. Then when I first moved in with FH he had a friend living with him, and it was a studio apartment. So we had to sneak around and be quiet and discrete. I hated it, but that didn't last long.

Autumn~ Good luck with your presentation today!! Wowo you have four ferrets now?! I think I would go crazy, but I do not like ferrets...

Carrot~ Wow your counciling sounds like it is really helpful. I almost wanted to do some counciling, but FH and I didn't feel it was neccesary for us. Maybe later on down the road we will do something....

Jeanie~ My sister's wedding was a Friday evning wedding in our church and I thought it was super nice! It was a little eerie being in the church on a Friday night, but it was 10 years ago so I was still pretty young...My wedding is on a Sunday morning....That is cheap to. I love the idea of weddings that arn't at the normal time. Are you going to do it later like after dinner and have a dessert recption, or do a more traditional time and have a full dinner reception?

Sorry for whoever I missed.....
I am so stressed! I was running over what I have left to do the other night, and realized I totaly forgot about the florist doing my center peices. So I tried to figure out how many tables we would be having and its going to be 8 or 9 tables with 6 people at each. So I did the math of what the most she would charge me would be and its almost$400!! I don't have an extra $400!! I don't have any extra money, were pushing it to be able to pay what is already owed. So now I don't know what to do for center peices..... :( any cheap ideas?

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jeaniebelle87 Posts : 137 Registered: 11/23/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 7:08 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Nessa- What are you doing for your cake? I went to a wedding where the bride had borrowed nice cake stands from various relatives/gotten a couple at a thrift store and then had individual cakes for each table. Then she bought little votive candles and put them around the table and added loose stems she had bought at the grocery store the night before. It was really simple, but elegant looking! Plus, because the guests were able to serve themselves, she saved on those horrid cake cutting fees! So, using cakes as a center piece is a bit like killing two birds with one stone!
To answer your questions- the wedding is going to be at eight, with a cake and champagne reception at a yet to be decided location! I'm really excited because it gives me a bit more budget to spend other places because no one is going to expect to have a full dinner at a reception that starts at 10:30 pm. It also gives us the whole day to get ready for the wedding, and there's less of a time crunch setting up and taking down any decorations in the church, and also getting people to leave the church, since there's not a mass before or after.

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 8:00 PM Go to message in response to: jeaniebelle87

Jeanie~ We have our cake figured out its going to be 3 seperate cakes, on stands all diffrent heights with lace drapping off of the stands. I just got the sketch from the baker today of the decoration and I am sooooo excited! cakesketch.jpg picture by Nessabear615Wow I didn't realize the pic was that big. I was thinking today that I may play on FH's idea. We are doing tea cups for our favors so we are just picking up random tea cups at like good will and stuff, and I was going to fill them with Hershey's hugs and kisses. Fh suggested we just group those on the table with tea lites around them or something. But then I was thinking today I can just put the bags of candy I was planning on putting in them on a seperate table, and group the cups together and put a couple smallish roses in each cup, and make an announcement to take the cups and a bag of candy......then maybe some rose petals on the table around it, or some strands of faux pearls.....
I am really liking the idea of a later wedding, with a dessert or just cake reception. But I am noticing I just love anything out of the ordanary. We are having an early ceremony and reception as I mentnioned, and am happy about that because I don't have to spend all day stressing about everything, and I get to spend the rest of the day enjoying being a wife. We are also doing a brunch chamapgne reception, and I LOVE brunch food so it will be perfect!!

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jeaniebelle87 Posts : 137 Registered: 11/23/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 8:22 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Nessa- The cake is really nice. I think the teacups as center pieces could be really sweet, and such a unique idea! Maybe you could play with setting them on different levels? I bet if you get creative you can find a way to make them fabulous!

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JewelOfTheSea Posts : 32 Registered: 12/22/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

hello!

Rose- Her name is Bonnie :D her daddy picked it

Autumn- I have ferrets too! We had 2 years ago and they passed on and this last x mas we got 2 more a girl and our first male ferret! but we always end up with ferrets that have health issues of some kind. out of our first 2 one died when she was 2 years oold of a cancer previously only found in dogs! out of these two the female almost died cause she wouldnt eat or drink no matter what we did it took them 3 days to rehydrate her enough to take a blood sample! now shes nice and fat but only eats specially prepared food and KMR

Nessa- for center peices i sudgest buying or borowing or something some clear glass bowls and fill them with water and float a flower bloom in each one, could even be a fake one from the dollar store, or get floating white (or other colored) candles from the dollar store

So Im keeping my wedding a winter wedding, even though it probably will be so warm in TX, everyone who doesnt like it can go soak their elbows lol.
I graduate june 6th which is a woot but my mom hasnt called the company about the cards cause she thinks they put it in the other box with the cap and gown and tassle and such (i am not so trusting) But whatever she wants to take care of it and wont let me so blah. she said its her parade and i need to stop raining on it. which is fine by me seeing as how i dont really want to walk in my graduation anymore it will be embarassing probably. But oh well. my mom wants it so ill do it for her.
Im having a ring designed for my FH cause hes Irish and wanted to include some irish traditions so i have been researching a translation that i want inscribed on the ring and today i was asking him to hang on a moment so i could find something on it (we were talking online cause hes in TN for army stuff) and he told me he didnt care about it! I almost started to cry cause ive put a lot of effort into and so he got really mad at me for being upset and finally i just blurted out that i was doing something concerning his ring, which he didnt even know he was getting, and he seemed like he would rather i had just kept my mouth shut. I feel awful and im convinced he isnt going to like the ring :( but i really wanted it to be something special cause i know the one he picked out for me he probably put a lot of thought into it (i havent seen the ring yet hes giving it to me in sept when i can come see him after hes out of training)
Well I hope everyone is doing just swimingly!

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