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Question as a guest

Online Users: 1,351 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 18


Soon2BTaylor Posts : 258 Registered: 6/1/06
Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 10:12 AM

Hi everyone! I got married a couple of years ago, and these forums were a regular part of my day. Everyone here was so helpful then, so I thought maybe you could help again, but this time I'm a guest.

I can't figure out why it's bothering me so much, but I have a great black dress that I want to wear to a friends wedding this weekend. The only problem is, her bridesmaids will be wearing black. I'm great friends with this girl, and though I was not in the wedding, I've been a big part of the process for the last few months, and my husband and I are making the cake.

So, is it bad for me to wear a black dress to the wedding if the bridesmaids will be in black. I don't want anyone to think I'm part of the bridal party or trying to be. I should also note that they bridal part are wearing long black dresses, mine is a shorter non bridesmaid looking dress. Oh, and she told me that we'll be sitting with the bridal party as well (they are doing a sweetheart table and seperate bridal party table) because there were extra seats and she thought we'd be comfortable there.

Sorry..this is longer then intended, but HELP!

what_to_wear
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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 10:53 AM Go to message in response to: Soon2BTaylor

Well, im one of those people who never sees the big deal in the whole "color of what you wear" thing, so Im going to say go ahead and wear it, especially if its in a totally different style than what the bridesmaids will be wearing. Im sure a lot of guests will wear black so I highly doubt any of them will be mistaken for a BM lol. Black is slimming , attractive, and a lot of peopel wear it to weddings. I can also tell you from a Brides perspective thatI had a Christmas themed wedding and my MOH , who was my only female bridal party member , wore a black dress. A LOT of the guests showed up in black, and it didnt bother me one tiny bit. I just dont see the big deal, ya know? However, if you still feel slightly weird about it, I would say just run it by thebride and make sure. Since she is a close friend, she will probably let you know that "of course you can wear that dress!" At least Im guessing thats what she will say.

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october_2006 , what_to_wear
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Soon2bWellsFargo Posts : 125 Registered: 4/29/09
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 11:34 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I would be horrified if someone were to wear the same colors as my wedding party. Mother is liable to have them removed from the Church. She is going to be very careful about the colors we pick so that we don't run the risk of anyone showing up in the same colors we are using.


Daddy's Little Girl

october_2006 , april_2010 , rhode_island , what_to_wear
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briony Posts : 75 Registered: 2/9/09
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 11:35 AM Go to message in response to: Soon2BTaylor

There's nothing wrong with wearing black to the wedding - it's such a common color for normal evening attire that nobody is going to think you're trying to pass yourself off as a member of the bridal party. People might feel differently if the bridesmaids were wearing hot pink dresses with green sashes and you were asking about wearing the same, but there's no way that the bridal party has a monopoly on black.

florida , may_2010 , what_to_wear
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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 11:52 AM Go to message in response to: Soon2bWellsFargo

Fargo, are you for real? ?LOL. Because I have to say your recent posts have me cracking up and shaking my head with "HUH??"" You have got to be kidding me with this stuff. Are you telling me that "Mother" will have a hissy fit and remove guests from the Church if they are wearing the same COLOR as the wedding party? Because if thats true, can I pleeeaassse come to your wedding. I would pay money to see that go down.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

october_2006 , april_2010 , rhode_island , what_to_wear
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adrigirl01 Posts : 288 Registered: 10/2/08
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 12:03 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

OP--I'm with Kelley. I'm not someone who thinks the color worn to the wedding is a big deal; I don't even care if someone wears white, especially since everyone knows I'm the bride anyway. So wear it. Other people probably will too. You're sitting at the bridal party table, but that doesn't change things. To me it's even appropriate that you're wearing the same color since you were so involved. Like I helped--just a little--with my FSIL's wedding this last summer, so she had me wear blue like her bridesmaids. But, maybe if you want to be extra careful, run it through the bride.

Kelley--I'm seriously wondering if Fargo can be for real. There's been one or two posts that make it seem like she is, but all thes "mother would never have it" posts are laughable. I would pay to see that wedding. Like the comment she left on a thread about not using David's Bridal so she wouldn't look like she shopped from a chain store. Please.


Edited by: adrigirl01 on May 1, 2009 9:04 AM

october_2006 , april_2010 , july_2009 , rhode_island , oregon , what_to_wear
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His4life Posts : 117 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BTaylor

I think that the OP is more concerned b/c she will be sitting at the same table as the bridal party. I think you should just ask the bride if it is ok, if she is then who cares if you wear a black dress too. It's not that big of a deal.

mexican_caribbean , october_2009 , what_to_wear
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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 12:54 PM Go to message in response to: His4life

I think it's fine - it doesn't sound super similar to the bridesmaid dresses other than in color.

Is it the sort of dress you could add a brightly colored, chunky necklace or whatnot to? (You know, some pop of color to make it different?)

If you think the bride is calm enough to ask, then I would ask. But if you think she's too stressed, I wouldn't bug her about it.

 

mexican_caribbean , october_2009 , north_carolina , august_2009 , what_to_wear
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 1:12 PM Go to message in response to: karebeartg

It's absolutely fine! Go for it.

and know that WellsFargo is an idiot - so ignore them.

 

 

 

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,300 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 2:16 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Maybe it's just me, but any adult who would call their father "Daddy" to a bunch of message-board strangers (as opposed to "my father" or "my dad")--this was in another thread--and then say their mother would throw out any guest dressed in the same colors as their wedding party is a) a troll or b) a little off their rocker.

preview image






Edited by: HappyGirl13 on May 1, 2009 11:17 AM

nuts
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 2:30 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

HG - Oh yeah. I totally agree.

 

 

 

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Soon2bWellsFargo Posts : 125 Registered: 4/29/09
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 2:37 PM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

I take exception to you saying I am off my rocker. I am most certainly not. I call him Daddy simply because he is my Daddy what else should I call him.

I said Mother was liable to have them removed I didn't say she would it was a joke. You do know a joke when you hear one don't you?
Daddy's Little Girl

april_2010 , nuts , rhode_island
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mrspinky Posts : 3,781 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 2:49 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BTaylor

Just wear hot colored shoes and jewelry and you'll stand out. Like red pumps with red bangles and earrings or PINK shoes and PINK bangles and earrings.

Mrs. Pinky


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Soon2BTaylor Posts : 258 Registered: 6/1/06
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 2:58 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

Thank you so much ladies! Though I had no fear of being banned from the party, I just didn't want it to be weird. The bride is really laid back so I can't imagine she'd be too upset.

I think I'll go for it...and as the last person said, I've some pretty hot blue and black heels to put with it!

I really appreciate all of the help...Happy weddings to all of you!

september_2007
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Soon2bWellsFargo Posts : 125 Registered: 4/29/09
Re: Question as a guest
Posted: May 1, 2009 3:06 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BTaylor

I think the person who said dress it up with colored accents had the right idea. Since you have blue and black shoes a blue necklace and maybe a blue bangle bracelet would be perfect. The chunky ones that are now in fashion would be perfect.
Daddy's Little Girl

april_2010 , rhode_island , september_2007
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