Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?

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CelticSpirit Posts : 1 Registered: 6/23/08
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

There is certainly nothing wrong with not providing a full meal. Hosts invite guests to many types of functions, and the guests should always be honored, not offended by invitations. The traditional indication of whether a guest should eat before arrival is the time. A traditional mealtime would indicate that one will be fed a full meal. Any other time would indicate light refreshments will be offered. Your 7:30 time for a wedding is a clear indication of a dessert reception to anyone who is paying attention.

This is an example of old things becoming new again. When I was married in 1982, I had never attended a wedding with a dinner served. All I asked of my parents was cake and punch in the church Fellowship Hall, as that was all I had ever experienced. We added a chocolate groom's cake and some nuts and mints, as well as coffee, and figured we had a nice reception. There was also no dancing or music at the reception! I wanted to keep the focus on the wedding itself, not the reception. So I put far more planning into the worship service.

Today, I would probably not choose such a simple reception, but there is certainly nothing wrong with it! I think your dessert buffet idea is a splendid choice for being simple and old-fashioned with an updated twist to it. Not everyone loves wedding cake, so you are giving them more choices, including a few non-sweets for those who are rushing in with no dinner.

You show every sign of being not only considerate to your guests but also to your parents. They should be proud of you! Perhaps if you give them some time to digest this new idea, they will be more open to listening to your ideas. People often automatically refuse something unexpected. Once they really hear your concept, it may begin to grow on them.

I wish you all the best!

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MrsBlakeytobe Posts : 1 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 12:25 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsPorkChop

I think it's a great idea! In fact, I am doing the same thing. You may also want to consider having fruit for people who can't have sweets. My wedding is in November and I am planning on having a coffee bar as well ( we will not be serving alcoholic drinks). I will probably word the reception card something like, "Join us after the wedding for coffee and desserts". I have seen the dessert only idea in several magazines recently. One idea was to have a menu and serve the desserts like you would a 3 course meal. I love the dessert only idea and it fits my wedding theme so no matter who thinks it's tacky, I'm sticking with it!
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Bunge Posts : 1 Registered: 4/2/08
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 12:38 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

I don't think it's tacky at all. In fact, that's what I'm doing! We are serving finger foods as well as little desserts to accompany the cake. We have our reception set at exactly the same time and have no worries. We are stating that finger foods and dessert will be provided, making it politely clear that a full meal is not on the menu for the evening but that we would love to have the presence of uor family and friends on our happiest day. If they are coming for the right reasons, then they shouldn't care. :)

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MrsWrightStuff Posts : 1 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 12:42 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

Dessert Only reception at 6-7p is tacky! If you want to do a desert reception then the reception should be a little later like 7:30-8pm ish. That way your guests have time to get ready and eat dinner and get to your reception in time.

This ain't no dress rehearsal!

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stbmrsramos Posts : 4 Registered: 4/29/09
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 1:13 PM Go to message in response to: MrsWrightStuff

Ok, so a dessert bar is not for me and I would never do one, I think it is very creative!!! As much as I love dessert, I think if I were to go to a all dessert reception I would think it was cheap. This is not a bad thing, as everybody is watching what they spend. I know when planning my wedding, I am trying to plan to look as expensive as I can but with a moderate price tag. I think that is what most people do.

It's all in presentation, you can make anything look good. Just make it look the best you can possible!!!

What I would like to know if how you are coming up with the $15.00 if you were to serve a sit down meal. When I was searching for a venue, the cheapest I found was 10 times that per person.

It's your day, do what you like!!!! No matter what people say or think!!!

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 2:42 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

I think a dessert only reception is fine as long as it is worded on your invitation. Hell, If I couldv'e paid $5 per person, my life would've been less stressful! I say have fun and make it your own! Good luck!!

 

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ldspir8princess Posts : 7 Registered: 6/4/08
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 4:13 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

I really like the idea of a dessert only buffet, even though yours looks like it more than desserts. you are having lots of food, just more buffet style. All of the receptions that I have been to had only finger food and desserts like pinwheel sandwiches and eclairs and fruit. I have never once been to a wedding reception with a sit-down dinner. Maybe its just a Utah thing, but I have yet to meet someone who had a sit-down dinner. Especially with a guest list so high, a sit-down dinner would be ridiculous. I do not understand the comments about saying this is tacky or will look cheap. It is not even close to tacky, I think it's a great idea! I've always wanted to do a dessert bar with a candy buffet for the favors. But if you are really serious about cutting the budget, the easiest way to cut down on a budget is to reduce the amount of alcohol at the wedding. That is the part that kills the budget. Maybe you could drop down to one signature drink and only have beer. I don't really know much about alcohol because I don't drink. I'm not having any at my wedding because I can't afford it first of all, and second, I don't really know anyone that actually drinks. That alone has saved so much money compared to the weddings I see on TV. I have been able to keep my expenses well below $6000 including my dress, the groom's tux, the venue, the invites, the food, the flowers, the photographer & videographer, and the cake.
Remember, everything will work our in the end.  If it hasn't worked out, it's yet not the end.

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OMW2MrsK Posts : 4 Registered: 6/14/07
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 4:46 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

It's not tacky at all. I think that your reception should be about taking time to celebrate with your family and friends.

As someone else mentioned full meals have not always been the norm. Things cycle in popularity and I think you will find that whatever you choose for your reception as long as you have a reason behind it people will be accepting.

I have run into difficulties in this area myself because my FH family feels we need to serve a full meal and I think it is inappropriate for the time of day we are having the ceremony. Our ceremony will be at 1pm with the reception at about 2:30-3pm. It's after lunch and will be over before dinner so I felt the most appropriate thing would be Hors d' oeuvres and the cake. They still feel very strongly that there needs to be a meal and so we compromised by making it heavy Hors d' oeuvres, the cake, and I will have a candy buffet on the cake table. We personalized it by choosing foods that are special to us. We both have traveled extensivly so we picked foods from around the world as our Hors d' oeuvres and have pictures of us in those places to go with them along with a little card explaining what it is and where it is from.

It's really about what the two of you want. Do you want the cookie cutter reception that everyone has already been to a dozen times, or do want something unique to you? Either is fine as long as it is what you want.

Just enjoy yourselves and savor every minute of the day!!!

Shannon

The Earth Laughs in Flowers...




Edited by: OMW2MrsK on Apr 29, 2009 4:47 PM

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Sparkles Posts : 257 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 29, 2009 6:57 PM Go to message in response to: Soon2BMrsPorkChop

I am doing a dessert buffet for my wedding, too. For one thing, I absolutely love dessert, and it's all I would eat if I were allowed to do so! Another reason is because the venue doesn't have enough room for our 300+ guests all sitting at tables and eating a meal. Yet another reason is because it's expensive to feed that many people. Inviting fewer people is not an option. We both have close-knit families. My dad had nine brothers and sisters, and my mom had four. His family isn't quite as big but is still large by today's standards. Therefore, inviting close family alone is about 240 people. We would like to have a few friends in attendance, which puts us at 300+. We will be serving chocolate, carrot, and white wedding cake (my mom and I both do this as a side job) as well as some recipes that are special to the family...grandma's monster cookies, mom's cream puff dessert, an aunt's banana split dessert, etc. We will also have fruit trays, crackers, cheese, chocolate fountains, beer, wine, and champagne. I honestly don't think anybody will go home hungry. The ceremony will be held at 7 PM - it will be in July and the church is HOT, so that's as early as I wanted to go, anyway. Then, it will be at 8:30ish when people get to the reception because we are having a full Catholic mass. The bridal party will be even later due to pictures. At 8:30, it is way too late for a meal. Most people around these parts eat supper at about 6:00 anyway, so they can just eat an hour or so earlier than usual. I don't think it's a big deal, and it's what FI and I want...it is our choice! Luckily, our parents don't have any problems with this. We sat down and talked about it because they weren't on board at first, and they decided we made some very good points. Maybe you could lay out your reasonings, too...it would probably help to have more than one. Good luck!

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LadyE2010 Posts : 83 Registered: 10/30/07
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: Apr 30, 2009 11:14 AM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

I don't think a dessert reception is tacky at all. You should do whatever is within your budget! I was recently invited to a dessert reception where the wedding ceremony starts at 6 pm. I think that it gives plenty of time to go out to dinner before. It is only going to be 2 hour reception, which is something you should think about. I would not have the reception more than 3 hours. I wouldn't worry about other people thinking your reception is tacky, either. As long as you word your invitations correctly, guests will be prepared and those that have a problem with it will probably just not go. This will make your guest list smaller, which = less $$. However, I think that all the people that really care will show up, and it should really be about the ceremony, not the reception. The ceremony is the part you and your FH have been working towards, committing yourselves to one another. The reception should be secondary.

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Herself03 Posts : 1 Registered: 2/18/09
Re: Dessert Only Reception... Is it Tacky?
Posted: May 2, 2009 3:33 PM Go to message in response to: Emily61316

My fiance and I think this sounds like a great idea! I, too, agree it should be included on your invitation. When choosing your delights, please be sure to include items that will edible for an guests with diabetes or other special needs so they may enjoy as well. Happy Wedding, Happy Life!!
Forever and ever, Amen.

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