The name of this forum topic

Online Users: 1,359 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 20


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: The name of this forum topic
Posted: Apr 13, 2009 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Fair enough Myra, I totally get that.

It's true that the name of this forum endorses that ring=engaged.

So what can be done about that?
Does somebody just have to be contacted with a request and reasoning?

Reply


ashes2 Posts : 29 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: The name of this forum topic
Posted: Apr 13, 2009 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

LOL! Kennys' i think I'd be embarrassed if My proposal was on a jumbo tron and I'd die if it was bungy jumping (Have you ever seen Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Hillary's fiance died asking her by bungy jumping). And I agree. My bf said he wants to make it special. We already have the ring and he's just holding it. I asked him (very nicely) what was the deal with waiting and he said "It's my moment too" I thought that was the sweetest thing ever. And the only reason I asked about it was cause he makes jokes about proposing and I'm like, if you're going to do it, do it, but if not, don't talk about it." And I think you're engagement story is the best. One where the guy just wakes and and realizes you're the one and asks you. That is really romantic to me.

Reply

Cupcakelady Posts : 1 Registered: 4/9/09
Re: The name of this forum topic
Posted: Apr 13, 2009 1:32 PM Go to message in response to: ashes2

I agree that what people read into 'almost engaged' is going to remain the same no matter what the forum name. And I am pretty pro-ring myself simply because an engagement ring is one of the oldest known marriage traditions. It dates back thousands of years at least to Ancient Egypt and is incorporated across cultures worldwide, and into some of the very earliest Christian religious ceremonies. So to me nothing speaks to the history of what marriage is like a ring, but that doesn't mean it has to be some huge rock!

Reply

PrincessDee Posts : 58 Registered: 1/6/09
Re: The name of this forum topic
Posted: Apr 16, 2009 2:19 AM Go to message in response to: myra

I agree that the change in emphasis is a good idea. There really is no good place on this site for a woman who is engaged, but doesn't have the ring with the way the forums are labeled and described, and I think that's kind of silly. Engaged is engaged, ring or no. I also think the engagement itself is much more important than the symbol.

However, I do think some people are too harsh about making this point on here. Symbolism is important and in our culture the idea that ring = engagement is pretty pervasive. I actually felt more engaged once I had the ring. I thought it was strange and a bit silly that I felt that way, but it's still how I felt. I think it would be better if people would just respect each other's perspectives a little more. I mean, the occasional post by someone whose fiance got her a huge rock, but it's not good enough or whatever such nonsense I get being opposed to, but I don't think it's necessary to blast every woman on here who is a little anxious to have the symbol, or just to get engaged.

Reply


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: The name of this forum topic
Posted: Apr 16, 2009 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: PrincessDee

I'm the last person who would pooh-pooh the idea of a ring. I have a gorgeous one, my daughter has a gorgeous one, etc. But, I also have been a poor student who got engaged in college, and the money for a ring was the last thing in the world that we had (food was a priority!) That did not make me less engaged. Sure, symbolism is meaningful, and most women want a ring. Good for them. But, what's irksome are posts like, "He asked me to marry him and we have a date, but I don't have the ring yet, so I'm waiting for him to propose, so I can tell everyone." Uh, what? He DID propose. You ARE engaged. I'm just trying to promote the idea that jewelry does not make you engaged. Your mutual commitment does that.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

Reply

PrincessDee Posts : 58 Registered: 1/6/09
Re: The name of this forum topic
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 9:10 PM Go to message in response to: myra

This I agree with wholeheartedly, and I can not recall an instance where you were unkind to someone on here. I just don't think everyone else has always shown the same restraint. I do think that engagement is about the agreement to marry and that this is the happy news one should be sharing with friends and loved ones, not that you have a new ring. However, I know for some people that's hard because their friends and/or loved ones (for reasons I don't understand) don't take the engagement seriously until they have a ring. I had a male friend like that. He basically said he wouldn't consider us engaged until a ring was on my finger. He has been and good a reasonable friend to me, so I didn't give him too much of a hard time about this perspective, but I don't agree with it. I think it puts unnecessary pressure on both women and men for the woman to have a ring to go with the engagement. I guess my point is, I agree overall, but everyone's situation is a little different and the people they are dealing with are a little different. It doesn't hurt to give the benefit of the doubt.

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine