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Virgin Support Group

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EnchantedEverAf... Posts : 88 Registered: 9/3/07
Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 9, 2009 3:44 PM

So, as i've wandered through this section I've noticed a few scattered posts by virgins who are scared, virgins who are having a hard time maintaining abstinance, and virgins who just want tips from those who are more experienced. I've really only noticed a few of us here, and some of those of us who have braved some of the regular sex posts have gotten lost in the jumble. So I decided that starting a thread for virgins might be fun.
So First, How many of us are there on here, anyway?
Second, Those who are more experienced than us, please share any wisdom you may have. What do you love about sex? what positions are the most fun for you? anything!
Third, Anyone having a hard time abstaining? I know I am (been with FH for 2 years, one year left to go! UGH!) and are you more excited or scared?
fourth, how many people abstained before marraige (for those of you who are already married)?
Fifth, what was everyone's wedding night like (again, those who are married)?
sixth, anyone need help with wedding night lingerie? Anyone have advice for places to shop?

Anything else you can think of!
Have fun with it
Edited by: lkrebs2b

sex , abstinance , virginity , wedding_night , may_2010
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08divabride Posts : 832 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 10, 2009 3:11 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

Hello and kudos to you for waiting till wedding night! I couldn't sorry...

What I love about sex is the connection my husband and I have, and the spontaneity of it all. We make sure it never gets bored. My favorite position is being on top I guess because I am control freak!

My wedding night was special because we went home after the reception and it was our first night officially living together. Even though my hubby was a bit tipsy, we still had a good night.

Good luck!

 

sex , september_2008 , abstinance , virginity , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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EnchantedEverAf... Posts : 88 Registered: 9/3/07
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 10, 2009 3:30 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

Thanks for the kudos!

sex , september_2008 , abstinance , virginity , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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mrspinky Posts : 3,781 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 10, 2009 3:47 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

I wasn't a virgin on my wedding night but I'm all for those who choose to be. I've noticed over the years that being completey comfortable about your body makes sex so much more enjoyable. Also of course not having any stress. I notice I feel more relaxed and enjoy it more after a glass of wine. Just helps take the edge off when I'm not "in the mood." I was never scared to have sex because it's only ever been with someone who I've really loved. It exciting and interesting and feels soooo great! I love having sex with Richard because he knows how to make me feel great and we're not scared of trying new things. We also are very open and talk about what we want, don't want, what we like and don't like and what we might want to do and try. Just be honest. If you lie now, it'll just make things worse. Oh and I also I love being on bottom or taken from behind. lol

Mrs. Pinky


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Keyholder of the TP Cabinet of P.O.O.P.

 

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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 10, 2009 8:09 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

I don't understand the kudos for being a virgin. If you want to wait, good for you. If you don't want to, good for you, too. I really don't see waiting as, somehow, being "superior" to not waiting. As far as I'm concerned, you're an adult, you're in love, you're comitted, and sex is normal. Most couples that I know have slept together before marriage. I went to one wedding recently (very religious young Christian couple) who were not only virgins on their wedding day, but advertised the fact to everyone there. Wedding speeches were congratulatory about waiting (or snickering about the night to come). Let me tell you, I found the whole thing creepy. I'm not a prude, but I am a grownup, and I really don't want to hear about someone's else's sexual choices in a public venue. Whether or not they waited was not my concern or my interest.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

sex , september_2008 , abstinance , virginity , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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EnchantedEverAf... Posts : 88 Registered: 9/3/07
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 10, 2009 10:48 PM Go to message in response to: myra


NVM Other Gals have set me straight. Thought the original post was hostile, but actually not. SRRY

Edited by: EnchantedEverAfterBride on Apr 11, 2009 1:07 PM

sex , september_2008 , abstinance , virginity , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 854 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 11:40 AM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

Enchanted, I don't think Myra was being hostile or trying to be rude. Sometimes reading things on the internet comes off a lot harsher than it is meant to be said. She was just remembering a wedding that she went to that she had a particularly awkward experience at, I don't think she was comparing this thread to that wedding though.

In regards to some questions you are posing. I, myself, did not wait. However, I don't regret it. I have had a few different sexual partners and I have learned from each one of them and have never been uncomfortable.

The first time I had sex we kept it simple, and I was really happy we did. He wasn't a virgin but I was and so he kept it slow and we just stayed in a missionary position. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was your typical late at night, in the bedroom, lights off, missionary position slow but romantic sex.

Definitely talk to each other, tell him what feels good...what doesn't feel good, what you want to try, etc. Also ask him for the same things.

Don't worry if it's awkward or there are little slip ups, it's totally okay to laugh and just have fun with it. Sex doesn't have to be serious and romantic...it can be kind of cute and goofy too.

My favourite is probably different versions of missionary as well as doing it in atypical places. Like sitting on my desk or the kitchen table/counters (don't worry it is always thoroughly washed!!!)

I would probably reccommend just doing some basic sex first and then when you are completely comfortable with it to try some different and new things. It's definitely good to switch things up so that it doesn't get boring.

Also..maybe set some guidelines. I did this with FH after having sex for a while and we kind of had a "what do you want to do?" and "what DON'T you want to do?" aka...I am not okay with going for the bum.

OH and key importance...foreplay. Do not be stingy. Some people use lubricants and such to make sex more comfortable...but for me just a good amount of foreplay allows us to be naturally lubricated enough, I have never had to use lube. Of course, you might.

Edited by: BrighterThanSunshine on Apr 11, 2009 11:41 AM

sex , september_2008 , abstinance , virginity , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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Mushaboo Posts : 2,166 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 12:04 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

Enchanted- Myra is not a hostile poster. She's just honest.

I did not wait till my wedding. I, like Pinky, haven't hooked up with lots of people. I'm very picky. I love that DH and I didn't wait. It has only gotten better the past 4.5 years we've been together. Even though you might choose to wait, please talk to your FH about his preferences. Being incompatible sexually is a major contributor to divorce/cheating. So, be open and honest with each other.

We don't have set positions or styles. It depends on the mood we're in. Sometimes we just want to be close and spend a lot of time snuggling. Other times it's just a quick tension release. Never take it seriously and you'll always have fun!

          ever thine          ever mine          ever ours

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EnchantedEverAf... Posts : 88 Registered: 9/3/07
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 1:05 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

I suppose you guys are right. sometimes things do come off quite harsh in print. I guess i just took it slightly differently. But I do agree that her experience at the wedding would have been awkward, thats just strange to have your personal business floating around your wedding like that...def weird...lol, I hope no one in my family tries to do that. That would be waaaaay embarassing, lol.

Anyway, Thanks everyone for posting! I'm hoping that everyone gets something good out of this! I know I'm getting a lot of good feedback!

FH and I have definitely had discussions about sex and our expectations. I know that doing this so far in advance took a lot of pressure off of the wedding night. I think it was just as important as those conversations that everyone should have about how many children, visits to the in-laws, money, etc. People who don't at least discuss it worry me a little bit, expectations can be waaaaaaaaay different.

Much Love Girls!

sex , abstinance , virginity , may_2010 , wedding_night
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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 1:13 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

Of course I didnt wait I have 3 children lol But Im glad me and hubby didnt wait cause it made our wedding night even more spectacular! its like he already knew what spot to hit and what was what so it made it easier!! I agree with Myra though about waiting or not waiting. Its a choice and whether we did or didnt do it it shouldnt be looked at as one is superior than the other!!
wedding countdownDaisypath Anniversary Years Ticker
http://www.mywedding.com/thejosephs

Plunger Of the Offended in P.O.O.P~"People Offended by Offended People"

sex , abstinance , virginity , december_2009 , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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EnchantedEverAf... Posts : 88 Registered: 9/3/07
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 1:17 PM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

I definitely don't see myself as superior to anyone. Did I give off that vibe at some point? Sorry if I did. I'm merely happy with my decisions

sex , abstinance , virginity , december_2009 , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

Hi, Enchanted,
Sorry if you read the post as in any way hostile. It was a very general response to a topic that pops up often. Every time someone says she's a virgin, people line up to congratulate her. I just really don't think that congratulations are in order--any more than I would think so if someone said she's just slept with her 10th partner. I do think that this is a place where you can come to get advice and input, whether your topic is virginity or problems in the bedroom, and you won't be judged. I was not judging you or anyone else--just questioning why we would congratulate someone for one personal choice, but not for another.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

sex , abstinance , virginity , december_2009 , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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Mushaboo Posts : 2,166 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 3:57 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

No you didn't give off that vibe.

Any particular reason you stayed a virgin? Or are you and FH younger (under 24)? I don't think I could have survived till 27.

          ever thine          ever mine          ever ours

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EnchantedEverAf... Posts : 88 Registered: 9/3/07
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 5:06 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Religious views for the most part. But also because I view sex as a gift, and I only want to give that gift to my husband on our wedding night, he shares my views.

It's really hard for both of us, but we made a commitment to this just like to each other.

myra, I get it now, you were just sharing a viewpoint. like the other gals said, I just took it the wrong way, sorry!

may_2010
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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Virgin Support Group
Posted: Apr 11, 2009 5:59 PM Go to message in response to: EnchantedEverAf...

Oh youre fine!! :-D It just looks so different on screen
wedding countdownDaisypath Anniversary Years Ticker
http://www.mywedding.com/thejosephs

Plunger Of the Offended in P.O.O.P~"People Offended by Offended People"

sex , abstinance , virginity , december_2009 , georgia , may_2010 , wedding_night
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