Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding

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cheaphobo Posts : 6 Registered: 12/1/08
Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 11:58 AM

Hi -

I am getting married this coming September in North Jersey and having a hard time find a Rabbi to officiate at our wedding. I am Jewish my fiance is not. We are planning on only having a Rabbi and doing everything else by the book. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 12:12 PM Go to message in response to: cheaphobo

We are planning on only having a Rabbi and doing everything else by the book.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this. Are you planning a traditional Jewish wedding, despite your FH not being Jewish? Or do you want a rabbi and a pastor from your FH's religion to co-officiate and do some sort of interfaith ceremony?

In the first case, I would just call your rabbi and ask him what the requirements are for a wedding where one partner is not Jewish. He may require more counseling, or your FH might be required to learn about Judaism.

In the second case, you will need a pastor from your FH's religion as well as a rabbi. A rabbi is unlikely to perform a Christian ceremony (or whatever) by himself, though some rabbis might be happy to co-officiate with a Christian pastor. Talk to your first choice of rabbi/pastor, see whether they'll do that, and then go from there.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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cheaphobo Posts : 6 Registered: 12/1/08
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 1:10 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Sorry for not being more clear. We are not planning on having co-officiants. My fiance does not consider himself religious and therefore does not want/need someone representing his religion. Unfortunately our Rabbi does not perform at interfaith weddings. Currently we are enrolled in an Intro to Judaism Class and my fiance is committed to raising a Jewish family. He is just not ready to convert.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: cheaphobo

Ahh, Ok...I get it now.

Could you ask your rabbi for a referral? Perhaps he knows someone else who would be happy to do a wedding, even though both partners are not Jewish. I don't know the intricacies of Judaism, but I have a vague idea that a less orthodox rabbi might perform such a ceremony. How is the issue normally handled? Can you perhaps ask family members for a recommendation for a different rabbi? Or talk to other people in your congregation and see what they say? You can't POSSIBLY be the only couple in the area with one Jewish and one non-Jewish partner!

By the way, I think it's awesome that your FH is committing to learning about your faith! Hang in there...you will find someone eventually. I know a few interfaith Jewish/Christian couples who got married and raise their children Jewish.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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cheaphobo Posts : 6 Registered: 12/1/08
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 5:43 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Thanks. I actually did ask my Rabbi and met the one person that was refferred. For some reason we really didn't click with that person and I would like for that to be there. And another thanks, I'm a pretty big fan of my fiance as well :) And your cat is adorable.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 5:55 PM Go to message in response to: cheaphobo

Haha...thanks! She's a big fan of the luau. Good luck finding someone!

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 9:23 PM Go to message in response to: cheaphobo

Only a reform Rabbi will perform an interfaith service (which is not exactly what yours is). Some of the reform Rabbis won't do it either. But, you could start with reform temples in your area. Also, contact local college/university chaplains, who tend to be more liberal. I do not believe that it is necessary for your FH to convert to have a reform Jewish service.

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cantorballard Posts : 2 Registered: 8/5/08
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Feb 20, 2009 7:05 AM Go to message in response to: cheaphobo

Hi!
My name is Cantor Debbi Ballard. I am located in South Florida, but I perform Jewish/Interfaith weddings around the world. It is so difficult to find someone who believes in creating a wedding ceremony that is well blended, and pays tribute to BOTH the bride and groom. Your wedding should be a celebration of your commitment, not a battle to who is represented more or less.

I work very closely with my couples, to help them create the perfectly blended wedding ceremony. I am a Jewish officiant, but have performed hundreds of Interfaith weddings. Please feel free to contact me if you need assistance.

Cantor Debbi Ballard
954-646-1326
www.mypersonalcantor.com

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heddahjo Posts : 3 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Apr 7, 2009 1:39 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Im sorry you are having a problem finding someone to officiate. You can try www.interfaithfamily.com. They have a list of rabbis who officiate at interfaith ceremonies (and Jewish ceremonies where one partner is not Jewish). You just need to fill out a form and they will send you a list of rabbis in your area. They also have some great resources for planning an interfaith wedding. Best of luck!

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StThomasJewishW... Posts : 3 Registered: 2/17/09
Re: Rabbi to officiate at an interfaith wedding
Posted: Apr 17, 2009 2:48 PM Go to message in response to: cheaphobo

I am the Cantorial Soloist in the USVI and am licensed to officiate at weddings here in the USVI. I am also willing to do interfaith weddings. If you have a judge marry you legally, I would be able to perform the religious ceremony anywhere in the US.
Please check out my website: www.StThomasJewishWeddings.com and call or email if you want more information.

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