I need some advice! I am getting married in September in Colorado. After the wedding I am relocating to Scotland to be with my fiancee who is from Scotland. Instead of getting gifts at the wedding and figuring out how to ship everything over (which tends to get really expensive) - my finacee and I want to ask for gifts of money so that once relocated we can purchase what we need in Scotland. How do I include something in the invitations explaining our wishes without sounding rude?
Uhhh, you don't. I totally agree with ATOB. #1 Rule - Never, ever, ever ever ask for gifts. Wedding, birthday, anniversary, etc. gifts are not mandatory. Thus to ask for gifts, especially cash gifts, is really, really rude. And yes, by telling people or including it on your invitations is considered asking for a gift.
Use word of mouth via your bridesmaids, mom or FMIL if you must - but again, only if asked or if someone insists on getting you a gift.
I'd suggest you create a wedding website. Put the wedding website in the invitations. On the website, state that you're moving to Scotland. If you already have an address in Scotland, I'd put something in the website that gives your address as one in Scotland. This way, when people are thinking about sending gifts, they already know that they'll have to pay to ship them to Scotland.
You can also explore registries that allow international shipping.
Ultimately though, it will be difficult to prevent anyone who is determined to give you a gift from doing so, and just bringing it to you at the wedding and causing you to have to pay to ship it. The suggestion above will only minimize the number of stuff you have to ship, but won't prevent it. I mean, I've been married over a year, and I still have stuff sitting in my parent's home because I haven't gotten around to paying for it to be shipped to where I live now -- and I never seem to have enough luggage space for me to fit the gifts in when I visit.
"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson
I'm having a similar problem in that my FMIL is throwing me a shower in a another state. Some friends of mine had a suggestion...
Register with a store that has a location in Scotland - or possibly does low-cost international shipping. Let people give you the gifts here at your shower and/or wedding - then return it all in the States for store credit (they'll put it on a gift card for you).
When you get to Scotland, buy it all again using the gift card. This would be esp. cool at somewhere like Crate and Barrel, which gives you a 10% discount on your registry completion - that will at least offset the shipping!
BUT - I agree with the other posters - v. bad form to put anything about gifts at all on an invite. We have our registry info on our wedding website, along with all the venue, hotel and travel, and other info, and are including the wedding website on the invite.