valentines day come and gone, no ring

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anfeesgirl Posts : 25 Registered: 1/25/09
valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 15, 2009 2:38 PM

anyone left wanting yesterday?

some part of me really thought it would happen last night. we went out to a great fancy place to eat, he told me to dress really nice, and we went to bed afterward. that was it.
but some part of me almost knew it wouldnt because he hasnt been sneaky or anything so...he told me it would be soon this morning.

this waiting game. god grant me even more patience.


On May 8th, 2010, I will be Mrs. Anthony J. Fiore!


TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 15, 2009 3:26 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

i know what you mean!

DH and I had talked a lot about marriage while we were dating (we had known each other and been friends for the 9 years prior, so when we finally got together everything just felt too right and we just knew). When I was talking about taking summer classes while working, he mentioned that I'll have a busy summer if I'm planning on planning a wedding too, so that got my hopes up... but summer came and went and no ring.

Then he mentioned how he wanted to wait til after i graduated that December. Well graduation came and went... still no ring.

I thought maybe Christmas he'd ask, but no, no ring. New Years Eve was spent just the 2 of us, as we got snowed in, but no, no ring. I figured at this point, the next holiday was valentine's day so I wouldn't get my hopes up again until then.

We went out to eat the first Sunday of the new year with his brother and his gf, and he had plotted out it with his brother to get it on tape, so he asked me then - completely not when i was expecting it or how!

So don't fret just because he didn't ask you on valentine's day - maybe he thought it would be too cliche and is waiting to surprise you when you won't expect it!

Friends since December 1997
Together since December 2006

September 13, 2008
Legally, I became his and he became mine.


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 15, 2009 6:05 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I wouldn't stress over it. Some men don't want to propose on a holiday. Some think it's a cliche to propose on a holiday and others want it to be a surprise.

Personally, I'm REALLY glad that we got engaged on a random day rather than a holiday. Not only was I not expecting it at that moment, but we surprised EVERYONE! Think about it: if you know a couple that is serious and will probably be getting engaged soon, would you really be all that surprised to hear about their engagement the day after Valentine's Day, the day after Xmas, or the day after the woman's birthday? I sure wouldn't be - I expect it then. The great thing about getting engaged on a random day is that you get to go into work (or call your friends and family) the next day and TOTALLY surprise them.

I also like it that we have a totally random day to celebrate as the anniversary of getting engaged. It's fun to pop open a bottle of champagne to celebrate May 5 (yeah, we got engaged on Cinco de Mayo...just randomly, though), rather than celebrating Valentine's Day or Christmas, with the anniversary of our engagement being an afterthought.

Anyway, my point is that you shouldn't be disappointed that you didn't get engaged on Valentine's Day. I don't know many men who would propose that day. I don't mean this as an insult to anyone who loves Valentine's Day or got engaged that day, but it's kind of a cliche, so I'd be happy that my man is creative and intelligent enough to come up with his own idea rather than 'killing two birds with one stone' and proposing on a day when he's supposed to be doing something romantic anyway.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 15, 2009 6:09 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

Patience granted...right... NOW!

Okay, just kidding, it's not that easy. It'll happen eventually and it'll be amazing, so try to content yourself with that thought. And in the meantime, if you're confident you're going to marry this man (sounds like you are ;)) why not start planning now? It'll take your mind off of the proposal and place it on the wedding.... lol.


CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 15, 2009 8:22 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

My x told me that he didnt want to propose on my birthday (he proposed the day after) because if something happened then I might forever have negative associations with my birthday.

Granted, June 10 seems to kick me in the butt pretty hard (that would be our Xanniversary). This past year, it knew was really it's last chance and BOY did it go out with a bang! 1. Started the morning off with a nice car accident. Nothing like a car accident to get the day going great!! 2. Then the A/C which had been being annoying and I had someone to take a look at it, well he called me and told me that it would have to be replaced as it was not a part thing but ________ <fill in technician speak for you need a new AC>. And that would cost me $3200. (Like I have that laying around doing nothing). 3.Bank didn't want to give me a signature loan -- I'd have to get an equity line which would take a few days because I'd need an appraisal yadda yadda yadda. It's June. In Alabama. That means it's F-ing HOT!. (Dad came through. He had a credit card with a low interest rate that he got a draw on, and I'm paying HIM back for it.) But yeah, June 10 kicked my butt this year and went out in style. I expect nothing from June 10 THIS year.

Anyway -- that is what my X told me about proposal dates -- he didn't want to ruin a SPECIAL day for me in case of ....... (and yeah, I'm divorced, so it is nice I don't have to remember his sorry tuckus on my b-day <G>)


Visit our Wedding Website

C.A.T., P.O.O.P.


MrsSmith62610 Posts : 17 Registered: 12/8/08
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 15, 2009 10:36 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I feel your pain!!! I have been with my BF( or unofficial FH) for 8 yrs this year and still no ring yet!!! We have already started planning and taking the steps towards making it official, but I just want it to finally happen. I know that it is going to happen (hey says before March), but this weekend would have been perfect. We did a getaway valentine's day weekend complete with a top notch hotel suite, champagne, romantic dinner, and beautiful end of the night walk but still no ring!!! I am trying to be patient, but my patience is starting to wear thin!
Oh well....our day will come hopefull soon





bunnybear05 Posts : 157 Registered: 1/7/09
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Feb 20, 2009 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

Don't fret, you will dig up some patience somewhere. I felt the same way for quite some time. Many occasions that I thought it was coming, and it never did. Then a randon Thursday night (Dec 4,2009) he popped the question over a pot roast that I made for dinner that night. (well, first he tried telling me that the roast didn't taste right to get me really annoyed, only to find the ring on my plate.) Don't worry, it will come. He probably doesn't want it to be a day that ypur expecting it. My DF would often tell me that he wouldn't do it on one of those days because I would figure it out.


KinseysMom Posts : 1 Registered: 8/3/08
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Mar 2, 2009 2:56 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I am so glad that I am not the only one! I have to say it, I, too, was quite disappointed this past Valentines Day. BF and I have been dating for 9 years, and while we randomly talked about getting engaged over the past few years, this past few months the discussions started to become more focused.

We went shopping for rings in December (I am not one who wanted to be surprised with a ring), and we picked out my ring, and our bands. I know that he purchased the rings, because the charge is on his Visa bill. And before you think it (my girlfriends all did!), I didn't go snooping - we pay our bills together and store them all in the same place. He sees all of my bills and I see all of his. I am kind of wishing that BF had thought to hide that one, though :-(

Because it is extra agonizing knowing that he actually has the ring. On the one hand, it's good, because he clearly intends to propose; but on the other hand, I am a type A, and I can't help it - I'm on pins and needles hoping each special moment in the making will be it....

In the end, I know I'll be happy whenever he proposes...its just that after 9 years, there are days when I just want to get this train on the track! :-)

I'm distracting myself by looking at dresses, and researching good information online, so as to have a jump start for when that moment's hoping that its soon!!


nestyn08 Posts : 156 Registered: 7/11/06
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Mar 3, 2009 2:30 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I know your feeling. But don't stress over it. My BF and I have talking about getting married by the end of this year. We are even talking about the chance to get a condo together if we can get the down payment by the summer but I'm still waiting for the RING. Not that it will make any difference, because I was engaged before and didn't work out ( I mean the ring didn't make things work or better) but a part of me is still waiting for that moment hoping of course that it will be far from before and this time for good. So in general like the other girls had said wait for it to be a surprise and the good part is that you know for sure that is coming if you already have been talking about this. Enjoy your relationship becuase after you get the ring all the planning stress will start!!! hahahahaha not that we don't want that, right?


brideJuly2009 Posts : 7 Registered: 3/3/09
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Mar 4, 2009 7:48 AM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I so sympathesize with you! My FH took me shopping for rings last May and then didn't propose until November! For him, he was saving for the perfect ring and waiting for the perfect time. I am sure it is the same with your FH.

You just have to remember that while we dream of a wedding and marriage, men dream of the proposal. I know that for a lot of guys, it is something they have thought about and really want to get right. If he said it will be soon, then it will. Don't let this create any stress - just feel lucky and happy that you are in love. Even though I knew it was coming, it was still a surprise when it happened. The worst thing you can do is to wait for it around every corner, because then you won't enjoy the present dinner/moviee/lazy day with him.


Tofu Posts : 66 Registered: 4/2/09
Re: valentines day come and gone, no ring
Posted: Apr 5, 2009 7:59 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

"god grant me even more patience"

I agree! It's really hard to be patient and not bring it up or feel upset that it hasn't happened yet.
I always thought I would be among the first of my peers to get engaged because my BF and I are HS sweethearts, and it just hurts when someone else is engaged (and that's starting to be every day as I am into my young-mid 20s) because I really thought I would be by now too.

So I feel your pain!

More than patience, I think I need to be granted some focus so I can finish my exams without constantly thinking about all of this!



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