Relationship books?

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chicochik Posts : 236 Registered: 10/16/08
Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 19, 2009 3:26 PM

I have looked into pre-maritial counselling and in my area it is about $100/hr. I am currently a student and FH does not make alot of money, so that is quite a stretch for us. As well, since we are not religious and do not belong to any church, having a minister provide counselling is not an option for us. Anyways, we have come up with a compromise and have decided that we will have a couple of sessions( about 1 a month for 6 months or so) and suppliment with books. I was wondering if any ladies knew of any good books that may address some problems that arise in marriage?

Our main areas of focus would be:

-how to fight "nice" or come up with solutions for our problems in the healthiest way
-how to organize finances
-marrying young
-keeping things spicy, especially in the sack

If anyone could reccomend some good books to help us out, that would be greatly appreciated. Some workbooks with activities would be great as well.

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JessyNChris Posts : 120 Registered: 4/3/08
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 19, 2009 6:48 PM Go to message in response to: chicochik

I know a perfect book for you and your FH. It covers everything you want to discuss with your FH. I actually gave this book to my FH this Christmas because I want him to start talking to me about this stuff. It's called "The 10 Conversations You Must Have Before Getting Married (And How to Have Them)" by: Dr. Greg Grenier. It talks about how to have conversations in the begining of the book.In the back of the book, it has a checklist.
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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 20, 2009 8:00 AM Go to message in response to: chicochik

I'm just starting to read, "Lies at the Altar: The Truth Behind a Great Marriage". It gives you ideas of how to communicate with one another and how to know that you are in danger of staying in the relationship. Im only in the beginning of the book but so far it's pretty good and it really has made me think.
                              

 

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 20, 2009 9:18 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

CheetahAngel I've read that book and recommended it to others. I really like the questions at the end and my EH really liked going through that section.

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MrsMcDAtLast Posts : 860 Registered: 1/1/07
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 25, 2009 2:50 PM Go to message in response to: chicochik

I've heard good things about "The Five Love Languages". People express their love and affection in different ways, and also wish to have love and affection expressed TO them in different ways, and apparently this book helps to address this and figure out how each of you expresses your love/wishes to be loved. Good luck! :)

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MrsPJM3 Posts : 129 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 25, 2009 3:04 PM Go to message in response to: MrsMcDAtLast

His needs her needs is a great book. They also have his needs her needs with kids for those blended families which have 10 basic needs and 5 main ones if they aren't being met it can lead to all kinds of problems. Five love languages is very good also. I am also reading through the The love Dare challenge from the movie Fireproof. I think it is great things to do even when your marriage isn't in trouble to "fireproof" from trouble down the line.
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chicochik Posts : 236 Registered: 10/16/08
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Feb 25, 2009 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: MrsPJM3

FH bought me Lies at the Altar and its really good. There are some surprising things in there that I didn't think about. It is also a good read, I can actually get through it! I think FH will even read it, and he is not a reader.
I have heard good things about the 5 languages of love book, my friend read it and I think it is the next one because we have problems expressing our love sometimes.

Any other really good ones? Any funny ones?

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2009ToBeMrsV Posts : 256 Registered: 12/30/07
Re: Relationship books?
Posted: Mar 4, 2009 6:24 PM Go to message in response to: chicochik

I definitely 100% recomend "5 Love Languages". It is literally one of the best books you will buy because it will really make you say "ohhhhhhhhhh that's why....". I picked this book up for FH and I after a friend recommended it who had been through pre-marital counseling and after seeing it pop up on several researches about pre-marital counseling. My FH and I are different when it comes to how we "feel" love and how we "show" love. He's a sweet guy and I always know his intentions are meant well, but despite some of his efforts I still don't always feel like my "love tank" as they call it in the book is full and I wish he would do things differently. When I would express to him how I felt he wouldn't understand and always says "well I do this and this to try to make you happy". So we started reading the book and it all made sense. He's reading the book a second time just to make sure he absorbs it all and he's really started applying things from the book and we've been doing much better in the "making the other feel love" category. It takes time but we are getting there.

Definitely read that book!!

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Engaged: January 1, 2008
Getting Married: September 19, 2009

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