Ex'es photos

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 3:48 PM Go to message in response to: luckymebride

im totally sentimental too and a pack rat so throwing stuff away is just hard for me.

for my HS sweetheart, we had a lot of good times and a fairly good relationship - we only really broke up our 2nd semester of college just because we were both changing as people adapting to the next phase of our lives and didn't know how to deal with it as we both wanted different things. fortunately, we've been able to reconnect since i dumped the guy i was with after him and still occasionally talk and hang out in groups together (him and DH were friends back in high school and played basketball together back then). I removed the photos of us at my parents house, but I never took them out of the albums I have and all the notes are stored in memory boxes i have from high school.

now my other ex, the guy i dated after HS sweetheart, well looking back, it wasn't a good relationship and I put up with a lot of crap from him that i shouldn't have had to. it wasn't until i was cleaning up my email account that i came across a bunch of sweet email exchanges we had in the early days of the relationship, including that first summer we met and started dating (i met him through a friend of a friend, only him and his friend lived about an hour and a half away when we weren't down at college). it was tough, but i knew I had to delete them - the way things ended and how he acted and what he said had jaded the entire 3.5 years i spent with him. i was also going through albums i had from college once DH and I moved into our apt together and removed all the photos of my ex and us in college and stuck em in an envelope and put it away in a box. i figure my kids might someday want to see pictures, but in the meantime, i don't. id be happy if i never had to see or hear from him again.

As for DH's ex's... the 2 he actually dated I knew and met several times while he was dating them (as he had mine) - one of them actually asked him, after meeting me the first time, why we never hooked up, as she thought i was cute! LOL... his other 'flings'... ive seen and met a few online that he almost hooked up with, and ive only seen pictures of this 1 girl he did hook up with, but he doesn't really talk about them much.

Friends since December 1997
Together since December 2006

September 13, 2008
Legally, I became his and he became mine.


JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 10:22 PM Go to message in response to: luckymebride

I have to keep mine because they are of my sons father but other than that i have none of my exes. I know he has some of his ex on his computer but I havent told him I seen them
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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 10:51 PM Go to message in response to: luckymebride

I have photos, trinkets, jewelry, etc from all exes except one that I had to put a restraining order against. I don't want to remember anything about him. All of his stuff went up in flames. I have stuff all the way back to HS. I like having the good memories of my life. I like seeing the notes passed in class....the naive "I love yous", the erratic passion of a more simple time. My HS sweetheart and I dated from 10th grade to after HS graduation. How could I erase almost 3 years of my life?

Regarding FH, he also has some things from exes. He gets flirted with quite often at work. His regulars will bring him cologne, etc, and I am fine with him having these gifts from other women as well. Most of his exes are gorgeous. It makes me feel nice to be considered in the same class with them. One of his past gf's name is Joy. They had a VERY bad end to their relationship (she cheated). He still can't stand her to this day so much so that I can't even buy Joy dish liquid. lol

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FutureMrsScanlon Posts : 67 Registered: 12/15/08
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 14, 2009 12:22 AM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

My ex boyfriend before FH I met online.. and one day my mom presented me with a photo of me and him that I thought (and hoped) I had lost. Well, I went outside, grabbed my lighter, and lit it on fire. My ex is a womanizing bastard and I cut ties with him for a reason. He stabbed me in the back so hard that it's unforgivable. So I destroyed everything that reminded me of him and moved on.

My other Ex boyfriend I'm very good friends with. I don't have pictures of him but he's on my myspace :)

FH got rid of pictures of his ex-girlfriend because he knows how much I loathe the woman.
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Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 14, 2009 1:17 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsScanlon

My FH and I have each only had 1 real, serious relationship before each other.
I dated my ex for 5 years, from summer before freshman year of HS to summer after first year in college. I had some photos and things that I deliberately got rid of when we broke up, including a stuffed animal he gave me that I used to sleep with every night. I think I also threw away some notes from him that I had in a folder in my closet. Since then I don't think I have thrown away the things I have come across, but I don't keep them in a special place either. I'll see a picture in a book or something and think, "Oh, didn't know that was there" and just go about my way. My parents used to have some pictures from us at our proms up in the house but I don't think they're up anymore. So, I don't make it a point to keep stuff like that but I don't make it a point to get rid of it either. My ex and I had a pretty bad breakup, but we were together for a huge chunk of our lives and I can't really pretend it didn't happen. We are friends now though.
My FH dated his ex for about 2 years, from senior year of HS to summer after sophomore year in college. He had a folder with a bunch of stuff, mainly notes and random things from his ex, that he threw out after we had been dating for a few months. I didn't know he had it and came across it on accident one day, but I didn't say anything to him at first. Then one day I brought it up, because I really didn't think guys kept stuff like that and was curious about him having it. He hadn't thought much of it but he told me he didn't really see why he was keeping it so he threw it out. I'm not sad that he threw it out and neither is he, so no big deal. Regardless of whether he has that stuff or not, I know she was important to him at a time and his life and that's not going to go away. I don't think the physical reminders meant that much to him because he will always have the memories.


If you're a bird, I'm a bird.


CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 14, 2009 1:26 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsScanlon

I have the wedding album from my first marriage. For a while it lived with my parents because I am a shredder -- and that was one thing I did not want to shred in a fit of picque.

Why? Aside from the obvious. There are several reasons I do not want to shred the album.

1. My grandfather's picture is in my wedding album. My grandfather died before I got married -- and yes, I have a picture of my grandfather AT my wedding. He is in the background of the picture of my dad walking me down the aisle.

2. There are a lot of family members in it -- none of them have passed yet, but they certainly look a bit more vibrant and healthy than now. My grandmother, for example, knew what was going on then. She doesn't now. I'm inviting her to the wedding, but if she comes it will be the shock of my life. I sent her a save the date, but I fully expect her to be surprised when she gets the invite and then forget about it 5 minutes later. She can't even remember receiving flowers for Mothers Day unless she's actively looking at them. So the fact that she doesn't remember I am engaged is not something that 'hurts' me.

3. And this is the biggie. It is a HUGE reminder to me. That album is why I got married when I wanted to break off the engagement months before the wedding. The photographer had been paid in full with a non-refundable deposit. This album would have been a prime target for destruction for that reason alone -- and that is the biggest reason I cannot destroy it now. It is to serve as a reminder of a very important life lesson. I am more important than money. My health and happiness is more important than money. If something happens with FH the day before that makes me go "NO, I cannot go through with this. It is a mistake", and we lose all the money we put into this event, this album is here to remind me that I can say that, and I can do that. The pictures of me and the family are not what is important. that album represents a life lesson that I needed to learn. And it is the person I was then -- someone who didn't believe in herself enough to realize that her parents would rather lose the cost of the wedding than have her marry a man who would make her miserable. SPOLER ALERT>
(This is why I love the movie "Bride Wars".... it actively shows a girl on her wedding day realizing that she's about to make a HUGE mistake ... and reevaluating so that she does not make that mistake. I love that. Because I was her once, and I didn't back out like I should have.)

Other stuff? My parents have this one space in one of those photo collage frames where they've always put my picture with my boyfriend...but they just seem to layer them. So there is my dating history in that frame. The funny thing: They bought it when I was first dating FH, so his picture is the first one in it.


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TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: Ex'es photos
Posted: Feb 14, 2009 4:32 PM Go to message in response to: luckymebride

I have a Big photo album with pictures, my prom corsage letters, sticker, etc. from the only other guy I've dated besides FH and I can't seem to get rid of it. He was mentally, physically and verbally abusive but I still can't bring myself to toss it. I also can't seem to get rid of pictures of my ex-girlfriends (yes, I dated girls because I am bisexual). FH has pictures, books and other misc. items from his ex-girlfriend (the other serious relationship he's had besides with me) and I know about it and have no problem with it. We both don't care about stuff each of us have kept from past relationships. We are with each other so there is no reason to us to be jealous or be upset with the mementos. Matter of fact, I'm now friends with his ex!

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