US Air Force. = ]

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Jan 30, 2009 6:25 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

MisterKelley--- FYI I'm super gullible. lol.


FMR,
FH wants me to be a stay-at-home. Neither of us have been sent to daycare or anything when we were younger and he plans on having a baby soon. I think that is why I am so against daycares. I understand that most of the time both parents are working, but I have come across quite a few that only on parent works and they still put their kid in childcare. I'm sorry but I don't want other people raising my children nor do I think I could let them alone with someone I don't know at such a young age. But if I wanted he said I could try to find a job near/on base if I wanted.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Army Wives, I have the first season on DVD and made FH watch that and the second seaon with me. He is hooked now.. He's even asking me when the Third season is going to start bc he wants to watch it. heheh.
I'm not sure about how many years minimum he has to sign for but we are going to try and meet with a recruiter Tuesday if he can get a hold of him.We have set a date that we want to have a decision by and that's March 13th.
We are in contact with a very good friend of ours that is currently in Japan for the AF. Right now it's only through e-mails and facebook but hopefully soon FH will call him and talk over the phone. I also have another friend that is just out of the AF but in Michigan(we are in Pennsylvania) for college. Maybe I can get him to talk to FH (FH doen't know him). But idk, we shall see.
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Jan 31, 2009 10:54 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley wrote:kelleyiskelley wrote:MisterKelley - if this is the case, then why the hell hasnt the Air Force replaced my old "MisterKelley" with the new and Improved MisterKelley Model 2009? You know - the one that doesnt flood the bathroom with water upon each visit, leave socks and pants strewn about the apartment, cups and half full glasses on each counter and tabletop, and random items like a nail file and Rolaids atop the Entertainment Center?


Um.... yeah. Well let's take a look at that. You got the version that does the laundry, folds the clothes,mops the floor. The Entertainment center that I put my stuff on top of, replaced the most god awful contraption that I've ever seen! Do you remember what it was? It was wood boards and a couple of milk crates!! WTF?? I Supplied you with a car so you no longer have to call a taxi to go to and from the grocery store. Do you remember hauling the tons of stuff you need to teach your college courses through Manhatten, Penn Station, transfer to the L.I.R.R. and hike to the campus then turn around and repeat the prcess to get home? Remember what that was like? Apparently not!!! You see kelley, the Air Force knew what was best for you 9 years before I ever met you.

MisterKelley - Now specializing in Trainwrecks and Jackassery.



Yes Dear.
Youre absolutely right dear.
BTW: I believe the floors need a moppin.


Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Jan 31, 2009 11:09 AM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

FH wants me to be a stay-at-home. Neither of us have been sent to
daycare or anything when we were younger and he plans on having a baby
soon.

I don't like the sound of this. You're saying that your FH wants you to be a stay-at-home-mom and that HE plans to have a baby soon...what do YOU want? Maybe it's just the way you worded it, but it sounds like he's calling the shots.

If I remember correctly, you're a college student. I urge you to complete your degree regardless of whether your FH wants you to work or not, and regardless of whether he wants kids immediately. That way, you'll at least have your degree to fall back on if something happened or if you needed extra money. Sure, nobody thinks that their marriage will fail or that their FH might die young, but these things happen and you need to be able to support yourself and your future children if they do.

Also, I'm sorry to be a jerk, but I feel like nobody is pointing out the obvious. How can you go from 'I have feelings for this other guy and I'm thinking about leaving FH for him,' to 'Not only was I wrong about my feelings, but now FH and I are ready to have a baby right away' in the span of one month? I think you need to speak up and be honest about your feelings. He might want kids right away, but it doesn't sound like you're ready.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Jan 31, 2009 4:46 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I would enjoy staying home with the children and taking care of the house.I have absolutely no problem with that. I would choose that hands down as opposed to working with or around rude people day in and day out. I've been ready for a baby for a while now. The only thing is holding us back in money and we need to decide where we are going with everything. We're pretty sure that we are going to go with the Air Force but he wants to talk to our good friend that's in Japan right now. So we are waiting on his phone call.
It may sound as if FH is calling most of the shots, and the truth is he usually does. That is what I am use to, that is what I grew up around, and that is how I want to stay around. It doesn't mean that I am not an individual or w/e . I am just a really laid back person and if I have a different opinion or want to do something else or differently we will weigh the pros and cons and go with our best option. I am not one to make decisions b/c that comes really hard for me, I never could.
Also, I am not in college. FH went to NTI but he is done with that and is taking additional classes as his job requires, and his current job PAYS for all the classes needed.
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 1, 2009 1:19 AM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

Ok. So I am not aware of this situation that Art talks about. IF you have EVER thought about leaving your FH for someone else, this life is most likely not for you. Yes you may feel attracted to other men, thats normal...heck I am attracted to other men, I live on a Marine base, hot guys are all around me. BUT I would NEVER act on any sort of attraction. Im not saying this to be rude. This life is a lonely one. You will be alone a lot. DH is getting ready to go on a training mission, he will be gone for a week then he'll come home and be gone for up to 3 months, all this 10 months before he leaves and once a month he will certaintly be in the field training for a week to two weeks at a time. I have seen marriages fall apart because of the military, my own brother is going through a divorce because his wife cheated (hes also in the Corps)
Seriously the military is a different world. Once you step on to base its foriegn. Your life is looked at under a microscope. You both have to have sooo much trust and honesty with eachother.
As far as the stay at home mom. I could never do that especially starting out. Yeah your rent is paid but you only get to claim one dependant for extra pay, and thats you, and after that he will be making very little money. Having a child is expensive, youll need all the extra money you can get and I agree with Art. You have to have a back up plan get your education and job skills, you never know what will happen. I am the youngest of four. I went to daycare, both my parents work full time. I am a huge believer in daycare. It teaches your child social skills and thats important.
This life is hard. I urge you to really make sure you are 2000% committed to him before you even consider this life, let alone get married.
Also you'll probably want to wait until his military career is started before you have a family. Yeah it can make things less lonely, but you also want him to be involved in your child's life. And just because HE wants a baby, YOU have to be ready, YOU will be the one taking on the role of both mommy and daddy. He doesnt get to call all the shots, not in military life!

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!

http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com


Edited by: FMR2008 on Feb 1, 2009 1:21 AM

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 1, 2009 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Art was talking about a a really good friend of mine. Him and I have known each other for a long time and had a very flirtatious relationship. We both have very flirtatious personalities. At one point got a little physical, nothing more than a kiss. I would never just go out and fool around with a random guy. I don't even talk to other guys as much anymore, just my friend and a handful of others that are mutual friends. I also never even thought about leaving FH, that was never even an option in my mind. I am just a very flirtatious person, FH knows it and I am trying to work on it, but all in all he is okay with it. Heck I can flirt and not even realize it sometimes, it's just my personality.
I am the oldest of 3. We were all spoiled, especially me being the first child and first grandchild. Most of the time only my dad worked, then when we were a little older my mum did too. We stayed with my grandma, along with my 3 cousins. Although we were never in daycare, we always went out places and we always met new people. Then after my aunt had her baby my gram watched all 7 of us. The youngest of all of us grandkids is 9, never went to daycare and she is more outgoing than any kid I know that went to daycare. She makes friends way more easily than anyone her age. Like me she has more older friends than younger bc she is so much more mature than the kids in her grade. So I guess I don't really see the advantage of the daycare... I'm not saying it's not right for other people, but I don't think it's right for me and I don't want that for my family. That is one thing that FH is also holding strong on.
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 1, 2009 5:49 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride


Also, I'm sorry to be a jerk, but I feel like nobody is pointing out the obvious. How can you go from 'I have feelings for this other guy and I'm thinking about leaving FH for him,' to 'Not only was I wrong about my feelings, but now FH and I are ready to have a baby right away' in the span of one month? I think you need to speak up and be honest about your feelings. He might want kids right away, but it doesn't sound like you're ready.

Art, I forgot all about that thread. I think maybe the OP needs to take some time and seriously think about what it is she is planning on doing with her life. If she is still in school and FH is going to be going away she should complete her education while he is away. I would at the very least postpone getting married for awhile because I think she is really rather wishy-washy. I wouldn't want her future husband to be stressing about her while he is working on a plane and perhaps causing some major problem.

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 2, 2009 12:16 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

Honestly. Nobody that gets married intentionally cheats. If you have already had that temptation..good friend or not...the military life can bring that out. Im just saying really think about this lifestyle before you commit. Like I said in an earlier post, my SIL has cheated on my brother, with one of their friends. Was this intentional? When they first got married maybe not, but after a year of being alone she just couldnt stop her loneliness from getting the best of her. Do I believe before they got married she cheated? Yeah. Remember that the military isnt just another job, its a committment from the both of you. In order to be promoted and get ahead, he'll have to work his butt off and sometimes put you on the back burner in order to provide for you.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!

http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 2, 2009 12:39 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

I could never marry a military man. Too much stress and worry (no matter how safe they "promise" the job will be). The lonliness...so it would be hard for me to give any advice without being biased.

The only thing I would say is, before making this decision, really really think about the huge lifestyle change this would be, and if you'd be okay with it. Forget the money, forget the "paying for school stuff"...because if you can't survive the lifestyle, none of that stuff will matter.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 3, 2009 6:51 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

Wow Sftballplater7, your situation has all the ingrediants of a classic, epic fail. Sorry to be so blunt (well maybe I'm not) But really, if your FH is serious about going into any branch of the military, he needs to do this by himself. He needs a good year or so to figure out everything the AF is going to throw at him and honestly, this is best done without you. He's going to change, he can't help it. Now I'm sure you're going to tell me how mature you both are and how you're willing to sacrifice for his career and how he really wants you to be with him. But you can't deny the fact that neither of you knows what you're getting into with the military. You think you flirt with guys? Just wait til he gets assigned to temporary duty somewhere like Thailand or the Philllipines and some little Asian girls drag him and his buddies into a bar and start lap dancing. Ask anyone in the Air Force What "What goes TDY, stays TDY" means. I'm not trying to piss you off or make you feel bad, I'm just telling you straight up that whatever branch he goes into, he's going to have to get himself squared away first.

MisterKelley - Now specializing in Trainwrecks and Jackassery

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

"What goes TDY, stays TDY"

Hmmmm..... I'm guessing this is something similar to What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.

Is that a good guess or bad guess???

 

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 1:05 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I have to agree with MisterKelley. My husband and I were not married before he went into the Corps and we're fine. But there are a lot of couples that fail. He will change. Yeah mostly mature. But Im pretty sure the Air Force requires a Temporary Duty station overseas that is seperate from a deployment, and you cant go with him. There are a lot of temptations and I have seen loneliness get the best of them. It truly is a different world. Im sorry that now you have people telling you the cold hard truth, but you need to know, you asked for our opinions and its coming from 1) a man that has been in the Air Force and 2) a military wife.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!

http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com

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stfballplayer7 Posts : 271 Registered: 3/17/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 8:43 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake

Yes, I understand the whole loneliness thing. Reaaly, I do. I have known many guys that are in the military and their g/fs and/or wives have left them while they were overseas, it was awful watching them go through it and I would NEVER be able to put anyone through that, especially someone that is overseas.
I know it's going to be rough, but life is tough we just need to adapt to it. and FH and I are getting married in April. There is no time for him to get use to it before we are married. There is no other option if he wants to join, we both will have to deal with the tough times.
With his job now he is not home much, granted he is not gone months at a time. That will be something I will need to get use to.
I also know that it will be pretty much a culture shock. Which we would be doing anyway, bc we want to move somewhere nothing like here.
It will be a long, hard journey. This I knew from the beginning of our debate unpon joining the AF.
         

                                  THE FUTURE MRS. B.R. HERB  4/13/09

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 9:58 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

CaribbeanBride08 wrote:"What goes TDY, stays TDY"

Hmmmm..... I'm guessing this is something similar to What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.

Is that a good guess or bad guess???


Sort of, except that the things that happen in Vegas are G rated when compared to the things that went on in Angeles City Phillipines lol. There were things these little Filipino girls could do with a roll of quarters stacked on top of a bottle of Red Horse and... well nevermind, this is a family forum lol.

To the OP, seeing as how you've already made up your mind, good luck with that :)




MisterKelley - Now specializing in Trainwrecks and Jackassery

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 10:11 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

I wish you the best of luck and hope all goes well. I really do. Just keep some of this in mind.

Married Since December 27, 2008!

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