Is it bad that I'm still over a year away from my wedding and I'm aready sick of trying to plan this out?

Here's my problem FH and I are trying to have a wedding on $5,000 not including any kind of honeymoon... but I can't find anything nice in that price range. I'm realizing on that budget all I can have is a tiny ceremony, little to no decorations, no catering and the bare minimum on everything else....I'm DYI-ing my invitations,decorations, bouquet etc.

We are expecting 75 guests and here's our budget so far:

Venue
$590 ( a small local church that is badly in need of paint)
Caterer Food
$0

Alcohol
$0

Staff
$0

Gratuities
$0

Rentals
$0

Lighting
$0

Valet
$0

Security
$0
Florist $0
Photographer/Album
$600

Videographer
$0

Cake
$250

Bride Clothing/Dress
$600

Limo
$0

Invitations
$150

Band(s)/ DJ
$0

Officiant
$250

Musician for ceremony $75
Flowers
$200

Makeup/Hair
$200

Specialty
Linens
$0

Marriage
License
$30

Rings
$1,195
(this is the cost of our engagement ring and both our wedding bands)
Candles
$20

Décor
$200
Groom and Best
Man attire
$300

Total
$4,660

I can't even think of anywhere else to cut our budget. Am I just throwing a childish fit when this makes me want to cry? I'm one of those all or nothing kind of people where if it isn't something that will make me completely happy I'd rather not have it at all...should we just say screw it and go to the court house and get married and have a nicer honeymoon?

Nothing is going to look very beautiful I won't be giving favors and I also won't have any sort of reception, except maybe to have everyone over at my grandmas home (weather permitting) for a sheetcake and punch.

I'm just really dissapointed I guess... please tell me if you think i'm being a bitch and I need to shut up, or offer some suggestions on how I can make this better?

First of all, I really admire that you have a budget and that you are trying your hardest to stick to it. A lot of brides don't and then end up going into huge amounts of debt to get married or panic like crazy about how they are going to pay for everything they have booked.

$5000 is still a do-able budget though.

Can you cut the guest list to a more manageable number?

I noticed that you are DIY-ing invitations, decorations and bouquets. How many invitations are planning on sending? Even if you are sending out 75 invitations at the very most, $2 per invitation is pretty pricey if you are DIY-ing. I did our invitations and they came in under $4 per piece and that included an invitation box, invitation trimmed with crystal beads, info card, RSVP card, RSVP envelope .. all the bells and whistles. Plainer invitations can look really modern and chic and save you money as well! I'd be happy to send you some links to some great sites that you could borrow ideas from!

When you say decorations are you referring to table decorations or other decorations around the reception venue? For our receception we had one set of decorations per table - 2 glass candle holders ($1.95 each), small square glass vase ($4.95 from Ikea), and roses (about $2 per table). We had 7 tables of 8 - 10 people so it cost about $75 to do table decorations. We did no other decorations around the venue.

Our reception was at a restaurant. Reception and function venues are generally very plain inside which allows each event to personalise it however they want. Our restaurant had a warm feel about it and the decor was gorgeous. Because of this we did not have to add extra decorations or pay for chair covers etc.

Is there an alternative for the venue? What is the expected weather at the time of the year you are planning your wedding? Could you erect a marquee in a lovely park and save some money that way instead of hiring a church?

Limo - do you have a friend or a family member who has a nice car and they could drive you to the wedding instead. When my husband's sister got married a few years ago, my husband gladly drove around her new husband's Mercedes for them. He picked her up for the ceremony, walked her down the aisle and then we drove them back to their hotel at the end of the night.

Favours - don't worry about them. We didn't have them. People are not going to walk away from your wedding and say, "Gosh it was nice, but did you notice that they didn't have favours?"

Cake - do you have a family member or friend who can help you out with this one? We were very lucky to have a family friend make our wedding cake for us. It was her gift to us.

Makeup/Hair - Hair can be tricky to do yourself but do you have a friend who does their own makeup really well who can show you some application tips? If your wedding is a year away you can always practice some makeup applications and take some photos on your camera to see how it photographs. Cosmetic company websites have instructional videos on how to apply makeup. www.chanel.com is one that springs to mind.

Grooms suit - my husband bought his suit for our wedding on sale. It was reduced from $600 down to less than $200. His shirt was $30 and his tie cost $50. He has since worn it to 2 other weddings and two Christmas parties. Would the groomsmen be OK with buying/renting his own suit at his cost? You can only ask. That way you would only have to cover the cost of the groom buying or renting his suit.

Musician for the ceremony - is recorded music an option for you? Is there a college with a music program close to you where you could get a music student to play for less?

The year leading up to our wedding, we really cut back on extras. We didn't go out to dinner (except if we were invited for other people's birthdays etc), I took public transport instead of taxis, I stopped having my nailsdone, we didn't go the cinema as often, we made a shopping list and stuck to it, I joined a library instead of buying books etc. It was actually really good because 2 years later we are still really careful like that because it's now habit and are saving money all the time.

Let me know if I can help more.

:: Lisa x ::

Thanks ladies for your quick responses. Your helping me feel so much better about this...

WinterWonderlandBride: You're so right... I think I'm just burned out. I'm going to take your advice and give myself a week or so to stay away from planning all of this... maybe till Valentines Day and then start up again. J

The venue I guess is the major problem. Oddly enough both FH and I come from families who do not attend church, so we're in a bit of a dilemma that way. Most churches around here charge around $1,000 to have wedding which I think is highway robbery! Plus, a lot of them require that you be their faith: catholic, Methodist etc. The little church I was using in the budget looked really cute online, but when FH and I drove by it was pretty clear the photos had been taken at least 5 years ago... it was looking sadly in need of a paint job.

That said, I'm still looking for a venue. I would love to have an outdoor wedding, but virtually every weekend in June has a 50% chance of rain. Everyone in my family keeps telling me not to risk an outdoor wedding... but I think I may do it anyway. I've heard that in the UK it's actually considered lucky to have rain on your wedding day.

Sorry about all the extra junk with $0 after them... I just copied and pasted from a excel spreadsheet I'd been working off of from somewhere online.

Upside is I've found a wonderful photographer who has small packages starting at $600. Since its one of the things that's really important to me, I was glad to find someone who fit the budget and had a good resume of photos.

The Best Man in our case is my FH best friend who is still in high school. He's also the guy who introduced us, and he's like our adopted little brother. We really can't imagine anyone else being our best man. He doesn't have a job and is frequently kicked out of his parents' home... weird situation but anyways I really don't think he could afford to rent/buy a suit so we're going to do that for him.

SoonToBeaWard:

The decorations budget is mainly for the following: flowers, bows etc for the ceremony, our car (which we're using instead of a limo), and also includes the purchase of the flowers for myself and my MOH, the buttoneers etc.

Yep I think recorded music might be best.

CatStandish:

We're in central Indiana just south of Indianapolis.

$25 for a park venue?? Wow... I'm definitely calling the IndyParks department!!

Your right if I could cut the venue cost I could have a reception J

Yep the invites themselves run about $75 and the rest of the budget I have for invites covers ink for our printer and Stamps etc.

Hair/Makeup: I'm pretty certain that my makeup will be ok if I do it myself, but my hair is ALWAYS ick... so I definitely want that professionally done. Also included in this budget is getting my nails and toes done. (which I haven't had done since prom...so I feel like its ok to splurge once every 3-4 years = P

Anyway, thanks again for your supportiveness!! I'm going to remain positive and stop looking at expensive things I can't afford. (no reason to torture myself about such an important day!)

Umm... I seriously just think I found a great solution to your problem. LOL

In Brown County, which by the looks of it is just south of indianapolis, there's a little chapel that I found whiel I was clicking around:



It offers packages: here's their biggest one:

Orchid Package

The Couple plus 70 guests
(this includes the wedding attendants)
90 minutes chapel/gazebo time
Rehearsal
Use of changing rooms
Officiant
Traditional Wedding Music
Large Silk Bouquet for Bride
3 small silk Bridesmaid bouquets
Matching Boutonniere for Groom
3 Groomsman Boutonnieres
60 photos on photo c.d.
40 4x6 prints & 10 5x7 & 4 8x10 enlargements
Guest Book
$1050 !!!! that takes care of the whole entire ceremony

Then they suggest four different places for a possible reception:

• Mike's Dance Barn(www.thedancebarn.com)
• Artists Colony Inn Banquet Room(www.artistcolonyinn.com) Super cute!
  
• Green Valley Lodge Party Room(www.greenvallylodge.com) like a dance space. Blank but not outdated.
  
• Valley Branch Retreat Party Barn - i couldn't find a website for this one.

10/26/08 

First off, relax. You still have plenty of time, and there are tons of ways to cut your costs. Secondly, you're not alone in being totally annoyed over wedding planning. I hated every minute of it.

Ok, my first observation is that you're approaching this backwards. You're looking at the cost of things, and trying to make it work within your budget. I don't blame you for being overwhelmed. A lot of things cost more than many of us have to spend, and it can be frustrating when all the magazines tell you that you absolutely NEED to have something. It's easy to buy into it and start thinking you need things like valet parking (nope! People park their own cars every day. They can do it at your wedding!), security (What? Unless you're getting married in a ghetto, you REALLY won't need it), and professional makeup (You do your own makeup every day, right? So how will your wedding day be any different, except that you may spend a little more time on it? With your budget, professional makeup would not be a priority for me).

Here's the good news: This will all become less stressful and overwhelming if you approach it in a different way. Rather than figuring out how much things cost and trying to build your budget around them, divide your budget into categories and determine how much you have to spend in each category.

Sit down with your FH and determine your priorities. Be flexible, and realize that you can't have everything. Decide what elements are must-haves, and put more money into those categories. You can easily cut out other categories entirely or trim your costs.

This was our priority list: Good food, Open bar, Good music, Close friends and family, Ceremony at a church. Anything else was negotiable, though there were, admitedly, a few things that we didn't particularly care about, but were necessary, such as invitations. So we just didn't spend a lot of time or money on invites. We spent about 2/3 of our total costs on the reception.

If you really want a reception, my advice is to look into restaurants that have a private room (that's what we did, though our place had a separate floor for events and specialized in weddings). When we added up all the costs, it was much cheaper to have our reception at a restaurant than at a venue that needed a separate caterer, rentals, decorations, etc. First off, a restaurant will rarely charge you a site rental fee (though some places require you to spend a minimum amount for a private party). Secondly, they already have chairs, linens, plates, etc, etc, so you won't have to spend a dime on rentals. Thirdly, you won't have to pay a separate staff fee, though they usually add a 15-20% gratuity (also consider the sales tax for your state, as it will likely add a few hundred bucks). Fourthly, restaurants are usually decorated pretty well, so you'll save on decorating fees. They may even have standard centerpieces and may be able to provide candles, so you'll probably save on those costs, too. And if you are flexible and you can have a lunch reception rather than a dinner one, you'll find the costs to be pretty reasonable.

For instance, if you can find a place that offers lunch for $20pp, you could feed 75 people for $1500. Add on a champagne toast (with the house champange, it could be as low as $2pp) and your alcohol costs are $150. It's fine to limit alcohol service to just a champagne toast. So with that scenario, your total would be $1650. If they add an 18% gratuity (standard), you're up to $1947. Assuming that your state taxes 5%, your reception cost would be roughly $2,044. That's not that large a chunk of your budget, and you've totally eliminated the need for decorations at the reception by having it at a pre-decorated venue. If you can't find a place that cheap, consider cutting your guest list. Dh and I made major cuts to our original guest list, because we preferred to throw a kick-ass party for our closest friends and family than a mediocre one for everyone we knew.

Here's my suggestion on how to break down your budget:

Ceremony: $455 total
Church fees: $200 (I'm assuming that the $590 is a voluntary donation. Personally, I would make a smaller donation at the time of your wedding and plan to make several more donations during your first year of marriage rather than donating $590 all at once. Also, assuming that your officiant is the church's pastor, you probably won't have a separate officiant fee. Pastors usually ask for a donation to the church in lieu of a personal fee.)
Musician: $75 (assuming that you have to use the church's musician and that's the cost)
Flowers: $150
Marriage license: $30

Reception: $2,000 total
Food: $1500
Limited alcohol service: $150
Tax and gratuity: $350

Clothing: $650 total
Bride's dress and accessories: $500
Groom's clothing: $150

Rings: $1195 total
(I'm assuming you've already bought them and that the money is indeed coming out of your wedding budget)

Miscellaneous: $700 total
Photographer: $600
Invitations: $100

That comes out to a total of 5K. If you can put another hundred bucks into your budget, you can get your hair done professionally. Professional makeup isn't necessary - do your own. I'd also cut limo entirely - you can drive ANYTHING! (We drove our own car, despite having enough money to have gotten a limo) For music, I would use an ipod and make your own playlist. That's what we did - we rented a mixer for about $150 and plugged into our venue's speaker system. It worked great, and we had total control over the music, which I liked.

As you can see, your rings take up a hefty chunk of your budget. If you haven't bought them yet, I'd REALLY recommend going with simple bands - for now - and then upgrading them on your first anniversary, when you're not worrying about paying for wedding costs anymore. Also consider hiring a photographer to take the photos, do some minor editing, and then give them to you on a DVD. That way, you can print them yourself and make your own album. More importantly, you won't have to take the album money out of your wedding budget - you can pay for it later, after the wedding.

It will be a challenge to have what you want for the price you want to pay, but you can do it by being creative and making a few sacrifices. Make your budget, divide it into categories, and stick to it. Keep looking around until you find a solution that works for YOUR budget, not for the budget you wish you have.

Potluck Reception WOOT! 5k weddings WOOT! I'm doing both

Oh btw Indie I'm having an outdoor ceremony on May 1st...in Oregon. Do you know what I tell everyone who asks "well what if it rains?" I smile and say, "Dress for it."

To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

Unfortunately weddings are very expensive, especially when it comes to the food/photography/venue and alcohol. You do not have to provide alcohol at your wedding. If you do it is important to find a venue that permits you to bring your own alcohol (then you can have a keg or two at $150.00 each). If your venue will not let you do this yourself then they will charge you $5.00 per drink. If you do not want to pay for alcohol or you can't find a venue that allows you to bring your own then it is ok to have a cash bar. Just make sure your guests know about it ahead of time.

Now with your catering ordeal. There are many venues who make you pick from one of their caterers. It is also important to find a venue that allows you to choose anyone or even make your own food. I live in Iowa and there are a few grocery stores that can cater a decent meal for $7.00-$11.00 per person. That will put you at about $1,000.00 for 75 guests. You might have to pay gratituty if it is not included in the bill. If you do not want to cater you might to try to find some family members that will cook. I had a friend whose family had many good chefs and they made all of their own food. It included lasanga, chicken wings, salad, garlic bread, etc.... and it was REALLY good. That will save you a ton of money.

Flowers are always expensive, unfortunately. If you cannot afford flowers I would do some fake ones.

Since this wedding seems to be very important to you (and I understand that) I think you should postpone the date and try to save more money. Unless you have already sent out the invitations I think it's a great idea. If I think of anything else I will let you know.

Wow! Girl you sound just like me! I told my FH now Husband :D, that if I didn't get the wedding I wanted I didn't want one at all..and I would be ok with it. We planned to just go down to the courthouse and do it! Well, it changed when I started looking for a dress.. I realized I wanted SOMETHING...

I didn't want a church since we are from different backgrounds, so I looked for outdoor places..found a few city parks with gorgeous gazebos..I wanted to get married out doors but our date was 1/17/09 so this was pretty much out of the question. His mom suggested we rent a suite. I was a little skeptical.. I mean.. a suite??? But we booked it for $599, a weekend special at the Gaylord Texan and it was perfect!! One whole wall was made of floor to ceiling windows! We got married on the 7th floor overlooking Lake Grapevine with the sunset. Our reception? The high end hotel club which that night happened to have a live 80's cover band..(they were really good too, not cheesy). We had a dancefloor and sat on cushy sofas all for free!! It was a total blast! We even got to have our own dance while the whole place cheered. Best of all we had a gorgeous room to spend our night together. I am a florist so I made my own bouquet which cost me about $25 made of hydrangea and roses, actually most bouquets cost this much to make..but the industry marks them up ridiculously. Our cake for 30 people was $35 completely bare with white icing, I decorated the cake myself with flowers. I bought my dress for $350 at a consignment shop and our officiant was $75.

Maybe something off the wall as a hotel suite would work?? I'm an all or nothing gal too but I wouldn't have changed one bit about my night :D

Visit my website