help! he got me a cheap ring!

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JessyNChris Posts : 120 Registered: 4/3/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 14, 2009 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: patientlyimpati...

I'm sorry for the golddigger response. I didn't read the replies. My FH spends on toys too. We don't live together yet. And we haven't talked about finances yet. I'm hoping soon we will since I got him a book about coverstaions to have before getting married.
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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 14, 2009 2:35 PM Go to message in response to: JessyNChris

Note: Some men get really offended when you refer to their tools as "toys", so my advice would be to avoid using that terminology when talking to him :)

I have to learn how to phrase things to my husband. "Yes, that would be good to have, but we don't have the money for it RIGHT NOW."

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 16, 2009 10:50 PM Go to message in response to: patientlyimpati...

Ok. I work with rings all day. I work in a jewelry store. Have you ever considered the size of a 3/4 carat rock? Thats a pretty damn big solitare. Maybe he looked at the carat and thought "That is a bit too large for her hand." Then he looked at a ring where the total weight was 3/4 and thought "well thats nice but I want her to have a big rock, then later with her wedding band we can accent it with some more ice?." Did you consider he is a man and that he wasnt thinking, "Gee well I can spend 1500 on dinner but Im only gonna spend 2000 on a ring because I dont love her enough to spend more." No. Hes a guy and that doesnt generally go through a guys head. Sorry honey.
My DH spent $1300 on my set and he spent 1700 on a new set of tires. Does that mean he loves me less just because he got a new set of tires that he really didnt need? Absolutely not. And if it really is finances why dont you discuss that with him before you even decide to wear your cheap ring!?

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!

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SanaChan Posts : 47 Registered: 1/2/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 17, 2009 3:29 AM Go to message in response to: patientlyimpati...

TBH, I haven't read all the replies, but I think I understand where you're coming from. They say that men should buy a ring equal to about 3 months worth of wages, so if he earns 4k a month, and only spent 2k on your ring, I can see where you're coming from. On the bright side, you still havent seen the ring, and once you do, it will probably blow your mind and you won't even care about the price tag anymore. (and a 12k ring would be rediculous! That money is much better spent on the wedding itself)

Hang in there, and don't let these women get you down too much. They really do mean well and are trying to help you
"Those who want to relive their youth, are probably too old to remember it."

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MrsGrimm Posts : 39 Registered: 3/30/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 17, 2009 1:48 PM Go to message in response to: patientlyimpati...

wow, $2000.00? Thats a whole lot of money. My engagement ring was $800.00 on sale at zales.com. We picked it out together and I tried to go as cheap as I could and still have good quality. It's 1 ctw.. The center stone is 1/2 carat princess cut with 4 princess cut diamonds in a channel setting on each side. and its certified. I couldn't have got a better deal. and my band was $600.00 1/2 carat tw. the diamonds are in a channel setting princess cut half way around the band. both are in 14K white gold. I love it, but mostly I love the man that I married more than the rings.

You can be engaged with out a ring. Many people do it. My friend got engaged 2 months ago and just got a ring the beginning of Jan. You really just need to appreciate what he got you. He picked it out for you. Just enjoy it!

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LilTuffGirl Posts : 301 Registered: 11/4/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 18, 2009 7:04 PM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

lol I picked mine out too and kept getting yelled at because I kept checking the price tag and putting them back if it was $1k or so.

I agree with what was said above though. I don't think he's thinking he doesn't love you as much.. he's just... not thinking.

I know my FH loves me a lot and he puts a lot of money into his damn remote control truck (lol) and complains about spending money on things for the wedding. He knows the day is important to me but doesn't think in depth about it.

Sometimes you do just have to sit them down and half a chat.

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facen Posts : 120 Registered: 11/8/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 18, 2009 7:28 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

Me too tuffgirl, I kept looking at the price and putting it back if it was $1k or better, and he's in the background making little comments, which really pissed me off, thinking this is not as important to him as it is to me, so now I have an attitude and now he wants to come and kiss my a!@. Well I got a nice ring, maybe not the one I want but it's nice, hopefully in 2010 he'll do better.

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Anjelbabe Posts : 55 Registered: 1/10/09
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 11:44 PM Go to message in response to: facen

I still think that she should be more upset that he got her a ring when she said she didn't want one than how much er........ how little he spent on it.

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TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 20, 2009 12:48 PM Go to message in response to: patientlyimpati...

If you man bought you a $2,000 ring and you think THAT'S cheap, that must make my FH EXTREMELY cheap. My ring was only $600 something and I am SOOOOOO happy with it. My wedding dress didn't even cost $2,000 and it's a designer dress. Hunny, you are out of your mind! I'm actually appalled that you think that is a cheap ring! It really shouldn't matter whether he bought you a $2,000, $5,000 or $500 ring...some woman don't even get e-rings! Even if you meant that he could have spent more on your ring than he does on "toys" and in Vegas or what have you, the price of the ring SHOULDN'T matter because it's the thought and meaning behind the ring that counts. If the spending on tools and his friends is that big of an issue to you then you need to sit down and talk calmly with him about it. My FH drops a lot of money on band shirts and vinyl but he is good to me and loves me. If your man is good to you and still have a roof over your head and food in your mouth then be happy with the ring you got. You could have been one of those woman with no ring at all.

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Edited by: TattooedStarlit on Jan 20, 2009 12:49 PM

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CertifiedBeachB... Posts : 2 Registered: 1/23/09
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 25, 2009 2:30 AM Go to message in response to: patientlyimpati...

hello, i understand your point, you are sort of jealous that your bf is spending much on other things and not as much on suppose to be the most important jewellery you are going to have plus the fact you are going to wear it for the rest of your life.

You have to speak to him with your finances and he's spending attitude, consider it a red flag ..... don't get me wrong but the way you described him sounds like he is not ready for lifetime committment yet.

About your ring - Most men don't know much about our jewellery and how much they cost - they care less about it, so its either he just saw the ring and was thinking of you and purchased it w/o thinking price.

Can't wait to marry the man of my dreams.

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TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 25, 2009 11:31 AM Go to message in response to: CertifiedBeachB...

The point is (about the ring), if the man loves you and you love him then why should it matter how much the ring cost him? It's the meaning behind the ring, not the price tag but I guess the price of the ring and size of the rock is more important than the love or meaning behind it. Like I said before, be lucky you are getting a ring because some guys can't afford to buy a ring or just flat out wont buy a ring.

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 25, 2009 12:13 PM Go to message in response to: TattooedStarlit

TattooedStarlit, your post just made me angry. I'm going to assume that you did not read all the replies, or else you would have not made such a big deal about her saying the 2k ring was cheap. It was not the price of the ring she was upset about, but the amount he spent on the ring compared to his partying and toys.

" If your man is good to you and still have a roof over your head and food in your mouth then be happy with the ring you got. "

I'm sorry but it takes more than a roof over my head and food in my mouth to make me happy. FH is who I come to for a relationship, not a care provider.


It pisses me off that everyone attacks this poor girl who has made it clear that it is not the price of the ring that she is upset over, it is his spending habits. If my FH spent 2k a weekend partying, and then bought me a 600 ring I would be upset too.


It doesn't matter how much anyone else's FH spent on your ring. That is what HE could afford. If he can afford a $500 ring but spends $20 on yours, you are probably going to be upset. I'm sick of reading everyone saying my FH spent _____ so how can you say 2k is cheap. 2k may be expensive for your situation but obviously for her FH, it isn't. It isn't about the price, its the fact that he is spending the same amount getting drunk with his friends!

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 25, 2009 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: WinterWonderlan...

I've been lurking this thread...trying to avoid replying, but can't help it.

Winter, I must agree with you 100%. I would be angry too. I know it's the thought behind the ring and not the price. But in her case, he had money to spend on it and chose other wise.

To the op, I would deffinatly talk with him about your finances. Just to make sure there is full understanding.

My DH spent $6,000. on my ring and it's been appraised for $16,000. by 2 different companies. As far as he was concerned, it was well worth it and he could afford it, to him he got a deal. To me, it didn't matter how much it was I would have settled for whatever he chose to give me. I just wanted a heart some where on my ring, something different.

I'm not a materialistic person by no means, but if we can afford those nice things then why not. As someone else said, you buy what you can afford. Obeveously not everyone's financial situation are the same.


My honey bought me a NEW car for my Birthday!


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Jeter Posts : 17 Registered: 11/15/08
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 25, 2009 1:46 PM Go to message in response to: TattooedStarlit

"If your man is good to you and still have a roof over your head and food in your mouth then be happy with the ring you got. You could have been one of those woman with no ring at all."

Putting a roof over her head and food in her mouth was her parents job when she was little. Now she's a grown woman and has higher expectations for the man she is going to committ her life to. Those are basic life needs that women should be able to provide for herself anyway - not rely on some man to do for her and be grateful he does. It's 2009!

I get really offended by this "take what you can get" and "don't say anything to rock the boat" attitude!

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TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: help! he got me a cheap ring!
Posted: Jan 25, 2009 10:05 PM Go to message in response to: Jeter

First off, I want to apologize that what I said got taken the wrong way. I DID read what she said after she corrected herself but however didn't read every single reply in this thread. If my first reply was read correctly it would have been understood that I never said that her man is the one to provide a roof over her head and her food. My replies were my own opinions and I was speaking as if it were me in her shoes. My FH does drop a lot of money on "toys" and I'm walking around with a 600$ ring. I am happy with my ring and the money he spent on it because I know he loves me. Mind you, he doesn't make 4000$ a month or spend money on tools and partying but he does spend a lot of money on vinyl. I see it as if he isn't going into debt, selling your stuff for money or whatever then why does it matter so much. He is with her, isn't he? I said she was lucky she even got a ring because he could have been a jerk and not have even bought a ring (especially since she mentioned that she told him not to get her a ring) and spent the money he could have used for her ring on his friends or something for himself. Some women aren't fortunate enough to get a ring from their men because either the guy can't afford it, doesn't think their woman needs one or just never want to get married. I don't know. I'm sorry you ladies got angry with my opinions. I'm really not some kind of bitch or anything. I'm sorry if I am coming off like that in this thread, especially to Nanette because I have talked to you in numerous threads and I have nothing but respect for you. And to the other ladies who are angry with me, and the OP or anyone else who I offended, I am very sorry that you didn't really understand my replies. I feel that simplicity is something that keeps you humble hence why I don't think that 2k, .75ct. diamond should be a gip for her. That's a BIG rock so I think even if he is dropping a lot of money on things that have no use for OP, she shouldn't complain about how much the ring cost compared to the amount of money he blows on stuff for himself. Big diamonds don't always mean it'll look good on the person wearing it. Like I said, it's only my opinion and how I felt.

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Edited by: TattooedStarlit on Jan 25, 2009 10:09 PM

Edited by: TattooedStarlit on Jan 25, 2009 10:12 PM

Edited by: TattooedStarlit on Jan 26, 2009 11:58 PM

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