Things you Remember and Things you dont

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 3:54 PM

I'd like to know the things you remember and the things you do not from your wedding day. We work so hard to plan these things and it's amazing the things I don't even remember seeing on my wedding day. For instance:

My mom made this jack-o-lantern with our monogram carved into it. She made it from a fake pumpkin. Anyway when I looked back the next day I didnt remember seeing it. It was there, but I didnt notice. I had to ask my mom!

Same with these ceramic pumpkins I bought. I bought them for all the windows in the place and didnt remember seeing them at all.

I took care to make a play list with songs I wanted to hear and about a month later I remembered a few that I didn't hear!

I do remember how yummy my cake was and I remember being too nervous to eat b/c everyone was staring at me.

I think examples from past brides would be important for upcoming brides. Maybe it will calm some of them down about little details you will and won't remember! :)

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em


TigerBride515 Posts : 482 Registered: 10/15/08
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 4:41 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I haven't had my wedding yet so I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to say that I think this is a great idea for a thread. I'm trying not to stress about little stuff but it would be great to hear from all the married ladies about this kinda thing!

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 5:15 PM Go to message in response to: TigerBride515

Good, we need more responses!! I just know a few people getting married this year and I hear their plans and I think "you are SO not going to notice that on your wedding day, and if you do, then have fun ruining your own day!"

Its fine to be particular, we all are in our own way, but I'd like to know if anyone, including the bride, remembers ALL the little details!

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em


cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 5:41 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I remember seeing DH before the ceremony, the photographer set itup and took pictures, and I remember the time we spent alone right then, it was my favorite part of the day.

I remember him saying the vows he wrote and holding my arm cause it was shaking while I read the ones I wrote, the paper was.

I remember there was no drama from any of our kids.

I remember the cake tasted really good but we didn't get any to eat other than that bite, and we barely had dinner.

I remember that our family all gave toasts, but I especially remember my daughters it was beautiful.

I remember the announcement of our names after the ceremony, and how much we loved our photographer who was totally amazing.

And, I remember the night flew by, people seemed happy, talking, laughing, crying, and it was just a beautiful day. Got my dress a little dirty pre ceremony, but I had some spray stain remover and it took it right out.

I didn't even notice that some of the guests wore jeans. It was a small wedding, but even still, my focus was pretty much solely on DH. I saw it in the pictures later!

The night/day will go super fast, the little things don't matter, and the stuff we made matching, or to look beautiful probably did, but it was so, so inconsequential during the day and in the moment.

By far, my favorite things were doing teh first glance alone time before wedding, and, the vows to each other.

Also, the first dance I remember. It was to our song, and DH who can NOT sing was singing it to me while we danced. Didn't even notice the photographer but given the pics we got later she took a TON during the dance.

Glad we got a good baker, cause we had leftover cake for a LONG time. They don't need to be as big as what the bakers say...they far overestimate how much cake it will really take.

Also remember how handsome DH looked in the tux when I first saw him...we pickedcolors and stuff together and the tuxes. And, I don't know, the details didn't really matter during the day. But not having drama and having alone time and hearing the vows and seeing our friends/family...that mattered. I also loved my dress.

OH, the ring exchange, I remember that cause they were both family rings and the officiant had something prepared with a very brief story behind each ring. Teh guests liked it, and we did too. And the family definitely did, those who gave the rings to us.


Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 6:19 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

I remember a good amount of the wedding I think. I don't remember the exact vows that dh said to me, and of course I remember the little flaws (which turn out as cute stories in the end... lol). I remember most of all though the food and the good friends and family.

IMG_7875.jpg picture by sarahandchris2008



FinallyMrsF Posts : 285 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 7:43 PM Go to message in response to: Nalamienea

I remember almost everything. Which is really great, I missed some funny family things that people luckily caught on film. My advice to brides to be is don't sweat the small stuff. Everything usually comes together even if you don't think its going to.

Kerri and Michael 10/25/08





RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 7:50 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life


I pretty much remember everything about my wedding. When I look back, there were some things I wish I could have done differently.

There WAS one thing I did that I had completely forgotten about until days after the wedding.

As I walked down the aisle, I was thinking about the 160 people watching me. Then I noticed my 93 year old Aunt, whom I really only get to see on rare occasion. Just out of nowhere, I bent down - I mean BENT DOWN-she's all of maybe 4 feet tall. (I felt like a GIANT), but I just felt compelled to bend over and give her a kiss on the cheek as I walked down the aisle!

I don't know why I had forgotten about that!


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 6, 2009 11:11 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I sort of remember giving our vowels. Other then that I remember almost all of my ceremony. But what I remember the most is my 6 yo nephew who was the ring bearer popping to either side of FH/DH to see what was going on and me winking at him! LOL

The reception - I wish I had actually eaten some of the food as I have been told REPEATEDLY since that it was FABULOUS!!! LOL

At least it was good even if I didn't eat - And I didn't eat more or less on purpose - I ate a lot at the cocktail hour as everyone had told me I wouldn't be able to eat! But I got to visit with SO many more people because of that - I'll take the not eating. LOL


MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 12:29 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

I just got married on December 27. So its pretty fresh. I dont remember a lot of the ceremony. I remember the Pastor having us say our vows while I was still standing with my dad getting ready to be given away! Pastor gets ahead of himself sometimes! LOL! I remember asking which hand was my husbands left hand was. I remember a lot of the reception.
I dont remember ever seeing my photographer during the ceremony which I love!

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!


FattysGirl Posts : 7 Registered: 1/7/09
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 4:24 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

We didn't have our wedding yet, but we had a very formal engagment party with 220 guests. Honestly - I don't remember who I said hi to and who i missed! there were so many people it was overwhelming. also, everyone wants to talk to you, so it's important you HOLD HANDS and i mean hold hands with your FH every moment unless you are sitting & eating....though you dont mean for it to happen, you literally can lose each other in the room! what fun would that be on your wedding day?

True love is the most precious gift in the world


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 9:20 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Oooo, I have a bunch! Most details, in my opinion, are wasted effort that you won't even notice on the day of the wedding - and most likely, no one else will notice or care about them if they do notice.

I spent two afternoons making programs. I bought print-your-own trifold programs, designed and printed them myself, and I even made little holes along the top edge, threaded ribbon through them and tied little bows, for a nice touch. They looked AWESOME - I really don't think a professional could have done a better job. Of course, I never saw one. And nobody else commented on how pretty they were. In fact, if I hadn't specificially remembered giving them to our DOC (SHE commented on their prettiness!) at the rehearsal, I wouldn't have known whether they were distributed or not. So if I had it to do again, I wouldn't have spent as much time on them. Regular printer paper folded in half with the basic info would have worked just as well.

My mom was fixated on the chair covers. For some reason, chair covers were super-important to her. I, on the other hand, didn't want to spend a lot of money on them. Our venue offered plain white chair covers for $1.25 each, which was fine with me. My mom was worried that they wouldn't be pretty enough, so our coordinator suggested that we buy a bolt of tulle, cut it into long strips, and she offered to tie a bow around each chair. My mom LOVED the idea, so I said Ok. Then my mom spent WEEKS going to various fabric stores - with a swatch of the material for my BMs' dresses - trying to find a PERFECT match. She finally found one, shipped it to me, and I spent several terrible evenings trying to force tulle to behave as I tried to cut it into strips. I'm sure some people around here still remember my rants on the subject. I hate tulle. Anyway, neither me nor my mom noticed them until (about 4 hours into the wedding), my boss - who had been subjected to the tulle rants as well - said that they looked good. Ergh - what a waste of time and effort!

I thought I cared deeply about the music during the ceremony, but I didn't notice it at all. I could have paid an organist to play nothing, for all I know. Totally didn't notice the music at any point during the ceremony.

I also thought I cared about the readings and various other things that took place during the ceremony, but once it started, I couldn't have cared less whether our ceremony remotely resembled the ceremony we had planned. The details didn't matter to me at all at the time, and looking back on it, I don't care about the ceremony details now, either. The important thing was that we were married.

Another little detail that I didn't notice AT ALL: bubbles. We weren't planning on having any sort of 'getaway' where guests throw stuff, but I liked the idea of bubbles, anyway. My idea was for the guests to blow bubbles during our first dance - in my head, it was really pretty and we were dancing through TONS of bubbles. In reality, guests just sat at their tables and blew them and they went nowhere near the dance floor. I didn't notice them at all. Oh yeah, and I spent an afternoon tying little ribbons around those, too...what a waste!

Basically, I noticed that the basic elements of a wedding were present: there was a ceremony, photos were taken, there was a good crowd of people at the reception, food was served, booze was free, music was played, and eventually, cake was served. That's about the extent of the details that I noticed.

My memories of the day aren't about the STUFF that was there, but about the PEOPLE that were there. Why didn't I notice any of the stuff? Because I was busy enjoying myself. All of our closest family and friends were there. I've never had everybody I care about together in one room before - and likely, never will again until my funeral - and that time, I won't care, since I'll be dead. So I'm not surprised that I didn't notice or care about the details. In that company, why would I notice or care about anything other than the people there?

DaisypathWedding Ticker


NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 10:02 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I bought these little glow bracelets at Target for my wedding. Just a few to scatter on the tables b/c they are freaking awesome. Well about 2 months later i said to a co-worker (who was at my wedding) "oh werent the glow bracelets fun?!" and she goes "um what?" Turns out my mom forgot them and they were never at my wedding. Goes to show you how much I noticed and/or cared about.

I do remember being SUPER nervous in the back of the church, barely talking in the limo on the way to church from nerves. I remember walking down the aisle, but VERY vaguely. I dont remember vows, or the music playing. I remember I Was very excited to hear Eidleweiss, but I dont remember it one bit.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em


Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 10:33 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Oh my gosh, I remember locking myself out of the house before going to my parents house to get ready (my hair & makeup where done at my house)
*I remember right before going down the isle, I said to my dad, "do you think they are all with me". He said yup. (I got married in my mothers family church and all of my grandparents are deceased).
*I remember the feeling of comfort, when I got the the alter & saw DH there waiting for me, with a tear in his eye.
*I remember swearing on the alter! The minister asked me if I had the marriage license with me & I replied "oh shit".
*I remember not having any money with me, so I couldn't tip the limo driver so my sister called her husband to bring us some cash so I could tip. Since I had no money, I couldn't pay the DJ (I sent him a check the next day).
*I remember that I had to eat or else I would be sorry....So I made sure I had something to eat before the ceremony and I made myself eat my dinner, I was hungry, so I didn't care who watched me.

I could keep going....but my last final though....I didn't want the night to end.


nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 11:30 AM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ= good thread!

  • got to venue early and ended up getting locked in brides room no in or out! for 45 minutes!

  • My son walked me down the aisle and was supposed to stand with DH and he sat down because the officiant told him to.

  • My daughter walks down the aisle holding my 4 mo old granddaughter and she almost drops her. (looks like it at least)

*After saying my name 3 times during our vows the officiant calls me NATALIE.

I was really excited about the music for the ceremony. Everybody tells me to this day that when they hear (my wedding march) No One by Alicia Keys, they think of my wedding. now that's AWSOME.

  • Party poppers! so glad everyone used those when we walked out of the chapel! great on film and pictures!

Pictures took forever after ceremony Highly recomend for you to make a list of "special poses" .

I was so paranoid about how the reception was going to look and it so paid off! Everyone loved the whole thing! From the pearls we painted pink to hang from the candelabras to the simple favors at every setting. I opted on putting only 1 menu on each table in a glass frame and everyone loved that idea too.

NO ONE used the bubbles that I waisted my time tieing ribbons on.

Our food was cold and we didn't think anyone even ate during the cocktail time or dinner. Come to find out EVERYONE ate both times. AND loved it ALL!

We wanted only 80's music but everyone was wondering what was up with it. lol. so we had the DJ play whatever the guest wanted. SO glad we did that. Everyone still tells us that it was the most fun wedding they had gone to.

We had set a dress code: didn't even realize till we watched the video that 2 people wore jeans and someone even wore a BALL CAP.

To us there were so many little things that he and I noticed and no one else did. I just want all to know that, nothing is perfect or happens exactly as planned. But, believe it or not people will enjoy themselves as you should too.

To me, my small details worked out....and I was lucky. They only thing we wish didn't happen was the little drama with his mother.

My favorite time was being with my husband. We hardly left each others side the entire night.

Oh everyone knows.. I STILL HATE the way my cake came out! I'm still trying to get over it Everyone else liked it though.


mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Things you Remember and Things you dont
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 4:30 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

I remember it all...

  • I remember one of my BM showing up late to our luncheon then she had to leave to go help her b/f who was a GM buy his attire...are you kidding? The day OF? And they were both late getting to the chapel.
  • I remember the my BM's reactions to their gifts I gave them. All personalized.
  • I DON'T remember the 1.5hr drive to get down to the beach...time FLEW!!!
  • I remember getting ready with my BM's and wondering if my makeup was too dark since I had been tanning.
  • I remember that the BM that was late w/ her BF was supposed to do my hair for me and I had to end up doing it myself.
  • I remember Richard almost seeing me before the wedding.
  • I remember sweating like crazy before going out to the beach b/c there was NO A/C in the chapel.
  • I remember Richard AND his BM forgot my wedding band back at the beach house.
  • I remember Richard wanting a cookie cake for his groomscake but had to rush and get an ice cream cake which was melted by the time we cut the cake.
  • I remember our cake wasYUMMY but I only got 1 bite.
  • I remember my mom stayed out of my way.
  • I remember crying during our vows, something I didn't think I'd do.
  • I remember going out to the car and our friends had written "Just Hitched" on the back.

there is TONS more...

  • I wanted to mention the one thing I'd never forget about our wedding and that is how Richard looked that day. He was my Prince Charming as he'd never been before. Crisp white tux, that sapphire blue tie that made his eyes POP and that smile...swoon THAT was all worth it.

Mrs. Pinky

Our Wedding Website

My mom: "Xanax - sometimes I will take a half and it really eases tension and keeps me from being less of raving bitch."

My friend: "Alcohol just makes the floor hate me even more."

Edited by: mrspinky on Jan 7, 2009 5:03 PM


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