Angry and In Need of Advice

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 26, 2008 4:10 PM Go to message in response to: princessbride2010

"Enter whiny princessbride* July is toooooooo hot (I want an outdoor wedding and I hate the mugginess of PA summers) and August wouldn't leave us much time at all to have a very lengthy honeymoon (we're teachers and I'm pretty sure we'd have to begin reporting to school mid-August or so...but I could be wrong"

You're funny! OK, so most people agree that you may have to be flexible. It's easy enough to find out when school starts, even in 2010. Most districts have their calendars planned at least a couple of years ahead and, if not, you pretty much can judge from the past few years when school is going to start. In my own area (So. California), kids never report until after Labor Day. Teachers usually come in a couple of days early, but even that means very late August.

As far as weather goes (and I originally come from NJ, so I know all about humidity!!), you can never plan an outdoor wedding without having a backup plan.Weather in that part of the country is just too unstable. I've experienced plenty of humid, horrid days in June, in September, etc., not to mention rain. And, I've experienced absolutely gorgeous, dry days in July and August, too. You just never know. Since you're just starting to look for venues now, try to choose one that is flexible enough to move things indoors if the weather is not to your liking. No matter where you hold your ceremony, it will be gorgeous and meaningful. And, in my book, your guests' comfort is much more important than the view.

Right now, you have plenty of options, so don't get bogged down in locking yourself into one date or one position. Once you DO decide, then send out save-the-dates early (so nobody can say they were surprised or had other plans) and let people plan around YOU. If people have any conflicts, from then on, it's their problem, not yours.

myra at


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 26, 2008 4:55 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Dear BL,

"I don't want to sound dumb, but what is a "graduation party"? Do you just mean that your family members are planning to host a party to congratulate the graduates, or is this actually an official school-related thing (I'm guessing it's the former)."


Schools have graduation parties, usually immediately before or after the graduation ceremony. If the graduation ceremony is Saturday morning, for example, there might be a dance on Friday night, then following the ceremony there might be a school party.

I've never heard of a school-sponsored party more than a day after the actual ceremony. Graduates want to bug out and move on. No one wants to hang around the old school any more. "Kiss My Class Goodbye" was the prevailing sentiment when my sons graduated.

Private parties can be held any time. Parents of the graduates can throw a backyard barbeque or whatever. When my sons graduated from high school, several groups of parents went "in" together to throw a nice party for four boys. There was music, lots of food (teenaged boys eat mountains of food every day), dancing, raucous toasts and valiant effors on the part of the parents to keep alcohol to a minimum. Our private party was on Sunday afternoon, following the Saturday morning graduation ceremony and a school-sponsored Graduates Night (Saturday afternoon and evening) at a theme park.

I think my boys got about 4 hours sleep through the entire weekend.


princessbride2010 Posts : 58 Registered: 10/20/08
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 26, 2008 5:24 PM Go to message in response to: princessbride2010

HLYflute: You're 110% on the money with what graduation parties are in my area. My graduation party was HUGE...which is why this has turned into such a problem for me...because I know what to expect, both as a family member in attendance and the graduate.

Everyone has pretty much hit the nail on the's about the year...not the date. And I'm not about to push my wedding back a year just because of graduations...nor am I financially capable of pushing it forward into 2009. Most of the actual graduation ceremonies are in the first two weeks of June, so I'm not too worried about running into that problem.

I have a few "alternate" dates written down, but I'm really feeling a hissy fit coming and I'm going to hold super hard onto this date because I've gotten so many "statements" about the year. My mom keeps telling me that no one is asking me to move anything, they're simply commenting on how busy they're going to be. I hate to remind them that I'm most likely going to be living out of town trying to plan this wedding while working full time as a teacher. They're not the only ones that have "busy" lives...

Newly engaged 10-18-08



sjhc132 Posts : 164 Registered: 3/18/08
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 26, 2008 6:34 PM Go to message in response to: princessbride2010

have u thought of maybe having it right before spring break...i know up there spring break normally falls around easter or unless ur a professor then spring break is around originally from nj so i completely understand not wanting to do it in july...maybe if worse comes to worse u can do it down the shore maybe so its not so terribly hot...idk if that something your interested in though...where i live no in ky all kids have a fall break too usually in end of sept/beginning oct...idk if they do that now up there or not...i left 10 yrs ago so im not sure how the school schedule exactly goes...maybe that would be something to look into...good luck and congrats...


i was meant for him and he was meant for me :)



Franko Posts : 128 Registered: 11/15/08
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 11:05 AM Go to message in response to: sjhc132

i agree


I bought our rings @


carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 7:45 PM Go to message in response to: princessbride2010

FYI--most schools have websites with their school calendar on it! Just google the schools you need and see when graduation is to avoid the actual ceremony. I had my party 5 weeks after graduation because a lot of friends and family graduated at the same time. They can schedule around you in my opinion! And the 2009-2010 tentative calendar SHOULD be out in May or so this year. At least it is here in NY!


ChrisandKait Posts : 14 Registered: 1/19/08
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 30, 2008 4:26 PM Go to message in response to: princessbride2010

First of all, congratulations on your engagement!

(I figured you needed to hear that, what with the graduations and family reunions and everything else hanging in the back of everyone's mind).

I understand your frustration completely. We went through the same issues, because both sides of my family are notorious for big summer vacations and reunions and god-knows-what else during the summer months. However, if having all of your family around is important to you, I think it's important for you to sit down and write down all possible conflicting dates (like there is a graduation the first and second weekends of June, etc). Like it was mentioned earlier, it's much easier to change your wedding date early on than it is later. And most schools already have their graduation dates planned (or will have them planned soon), so that you can try to pick a date with relative ease.

I hope you get your dream wedding date and that you have a marvelous, wonderful wedding!


mrsJLA Posts : 445 Registered: 5/25/08
Re: Angry and In Need of Advice
Posted: Dec 30, 2008 5:36 PM Go to message in response to: princessbride2010

I am originally from Northeast PA and was one of those people who's mother rented a hall & a band for my HS graduation party. It was a big ordeal and my parents spent enough on it to cause a ruckus....

Alternatively, My sister took a week and a half long trip to Florida instead. My DH went to Mexico and DH's sister had a party (DH and SIL are from southern NJ). It varies quite bit nowadays....

My suggestion is pick a date in July or early August & find a reception site with INDOOR AND OUTDOOR seating/entertaining capabilities.

If it rains - you always have the indoors, and if the weather is fantastic, people can go in and out as they please. I know PA has lots of these venues - from golf clubs/ country clubs/ etc (at least the eastern part and surely the western part). Heck - there are places in NJ with all glass rooms and balconies!

Think about it - Not only do you get the PLUS side of (A) avoiding weather catastrophies, but also (B) avoiding cranky guests who have allergies (like me)... (C) avoiding the older folk who are too hot when its only 70 degrees out (no offense to anyone, I hate the heat and humidity as well and am worse than my own elders)... (D) being able to step inside to AC whenever you get to hot in your dressand not having to trek to some bathroom indoors.... etc etc. I personally would consider it if the date is giving you this much of a headache - it is YOUR big day but it can easily be tainted by whiny guests and no bride (or groom) wants a guestzilla to ruin their day.

Jaime Kiss


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