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lmc07 Posts : 271 Registered: 1/4/07
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 11:25 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

RanAway, I would feel so uncomfortable if we had a gun in the house, so I can relate how you feel!

In my country it's very difficult to own or even buy a gun if it is not specifially used for hunting and even then you have to qualify. You have to have a psychological review to be allowed to have a gun pass - and then the Police can check any time if your gun is locked away properly.

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 11:56 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I didn't read ALL of the replies, so sorry if this is a repeat.

Guns don't kill, people do.

Therefore meaning people who are not responsible, uneducated in proper safety and techiniques, or who have poor and cruel intentions.

I understand having a gun in your house for hunting purposes. I don't like hunting, never have and never will, but I understand its a sport and its necessary for survival (food, animal population control, etc). I grew up with extended family members hunting. However, these guns should be locked away in an unvisible, private place. All people, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN, should understand these are not to be touched, and correct safety.

Having hand guns for protection purposes...for that topic you are going to find tons of stories in which they have saved people's lives, and tons of stories in which they have injured someone in the family due to misuse. Example: I just found out that in the apartments where I used to live (about 2 hrs away from where I am now) one was broken into. The robber had a gun, and shot the person in the apartment, injuring them, the person was lucky enough to be close to where their gun was hidden and was able to get it and kill the robber before he could injure him further. Thank God that VICTIM had a gun. These apartments were not in a bad area what so ever. It was a suburb kind of area. In the entire time I had lived there I had never heard any trouble anywhere close. Opposite Example: I also heard in the news that a man who had recently been divorced frrom his wife had a hand gun, he went and knocked on the woman's door. A little girl answered, he shot her, and then continued to walk in and shoot everyone else. It is very bad that this man had a gun.

The gun doesn't make a difference, it is the person that it is in possession of. Same goes for knives and other weapons.

I myself don't own a hand gun, but I can't say I will or won't in the future. But that decision will be made when I have more than just myself to protect. I don't have a hunting gun (rifle I guess?) that was left to me by my deceased grandpa. I don't know how to use it, and its in my father's possession.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: lmc07

Oh and I would also like to say that I also agree that it's too easy to get a gun in this country (the US).

But the whole system including the judicial needs to get an overhaul. If the judicial system had done it's job and flagged the guy who shot up Virginia Tech last year for pysch reasons and the court could have done and should have done it, he would have never been able to buy a weapon - at least not legally.


carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Yes, it IS way too easy to get a gun in the US. Especially since most people do NOT keep them under lock and key in their homes! In this area most of the guns used in robberies and homicides come from homes where the homeowner isn't even aware that someone broke in and stole it! I would LOVE to see a pysch evaluation before you can legally obtain a gun! However, it's usually NOT legally obtained guns that are used in crimes.


RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 2:28 PM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

Hi Bride2008!

Dean's son has a few guns, too, but he's known how to handle them and safety rules since he could speak. Same with Dean-he's had guns since he was a little boy. I would never ask him to give them up!

Hi Heidi-Dean and I both have 22s-(like his and hers) on both sides of the bed. I'm not really THAT uncomfortable with them. It's just knowing that they're both loaded and ready to go. A gun safety course sounds like a good idea.

One point I wanted to make is that there is no police force in the town I live in. So, calling 911 would be pointless because it would take the police at least a half hour to get here because the County serves this little town. So, I guess to me it has its comforts and discomforts.

Nal-That's partly my argument, too. And I have heard so many times that it's better to have a gun and not need it that to NOT have a gun and NEED it. If I am woken up by a seven foot man hovering over me when I'm alone, then I'm gonna be glad it's there. BUT, like you said, it's useless if HE has a gun, too. I guess that's another risk you take.

As for hunting, I'm not at all for killing animals, of course, and I completely disagree with hunting for sport. Dean's not into that, either.

So I guess what I'm saying is if I were you, I'd insist on gun safety
courses up the wazoo. And then for them to be kept under lock and key
in a safe at the back of the closest and then the bullets kept in
another safe under the bed or something. That's the best situation I
think. For me, that's probably the only way that I would begin to feel
okay with a gun in the house.

Having the gun so unavailable makes the gun useless for purposes of safety!

mobride-I see nothing wrong with collecting guns. There's guns everywhere here, but they're not loaded. We do go target shooting in the back yard. It really doesn't interest me anyway. I just wanted to learn how to shoot them.

Hi care!

I can see both sides of the issue, but I also know that it's not the
guns that kill, it's the people shooting them. If you want to kill
someone bad enough--there's LOTS of ways to do it!

I totally agree with that statement!

The FutureMrsL-Oooh-I'm sorry something happened to your FH when he was little. Must've been horrible as he feels the need to carry a gun!

Hi Pharm! I'll take the cast-iron skillet, too! I bet they can do a number! Anyway. I do not envy the fact that your husband has to carry a gun on him. I would be insane with worry!

Hi Charlotte-My stepson target shoots out back all the time! He uses all different kinds of guns.

08diva-Oh No! That hits close to home! I can certainly see why you're all for guns! I hope that never happens to you again!

Hi kelley-It's interesting to see how many different views people have about guns.

firefighters-See, well now YOU'RE one who understands Maine! Having a gun in Maine is like an everyday staple. I actually can't think of anybody from Maine who DOESN'T own a gun. I'm just not used to it because I didn't grow up with it.

lmc-Interesting laws in Austria!

Winter-Those are good examples on both sides of the spectrum.


Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Posted: Dec 27, 2008 3:56 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Linda-Jo, I totally understand from living in Viriginia going on my 4th year what it is like for everyone to own a gun and for it to be beyond acceptable, but expected by most everyone. I also know what's it's like to have no police presence becasue I live in a town that barely has it's own zip code. Guns here are kept in glass front refrigerator sized cases in LIVING ROOMS that I just find absolutely disgusting. To me, a gun is absolutely NOT a thing of beauty to be displayed along beside the kids' grad photos and such. I cringe whenever I walk in to a house where a gun is on the wall, I just hate them so much. I also think though that the small town is to your advantage too, becuase crime is SO much lower than if you lived in a big city.

I really from the bottom of my heart believe that if you woke up with 7 footsoldiers surrounding your bed one night, having a gun loaded and ready in the night stand would do you no good other than to get you shot.

Let me tell you guys a the story that probably shaped my opinions (I know people have a million stories, but thsi one will give you insight in to where my opinion was formed.)

My mom lived pretty much alone with the three of us kids, all under three years old, becuase my dad worked on the island and we lived on the mainland. He would come home about every three weeks or so for the weekend, and then head back out. Well, one weekend he decided he was going to surprise my mom and leave late friday night instead of saturday morning. My mom woke up to the sound of a man grunting and tripping over the toys in the living room (becuase he didn't want to turn a light on and wake us up). She swears to this day if there had been a gun in the house she would have shot and killed my father before she even realized it was him.

I think, that if an intruder comes in with a gun, you have a better chance of survival if you have no gun than if you do have one. Why give him a reason to start shooting? And if you DO have a gun, and if he doesn't catch you by surprise (who's inspecting a burglar anyway?) and you manage to shoot him first presuming he was going to shoot you... that's just too many variables for me. If someone comes with the intent to shoot me with a gun, little ol' me, no matter how often I practice at the range, is not going to have a chance.

And yes, Linda Jo, the method of storage I described IS absolutely useless for security, but that's becuase of the reasons above: I think guns in your house are useless for security unless you're going to keep them in a bedside table, cocked and loaded. And that goes against just about ALL gun safety rules I've heard in my short life.

Overall? You're better off spending your money on a fancy alarm system for your house. That way your belongings are secured even when you're not there too.

IMG_7875.jpg picture by sarahandchris2008



newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Posted: Dec 28, 2008 2:18 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Personally, I do not like guns and I think that the vast majority of people who keep them in their house do not really need them. Like, if they are hunters they can keep them somewhere else- locked up in a shed or something, they don't need to be accessible at all times. There are some people who truly may need them for their own protection and as long as they are knowledgeable about gun use and safety and are extremely vigilant about keeping them away from everyone (not just kids- adults can do dumber things than kids at times!) then I don't have a problem with them having them. Until about 3 years ago I had never even seen a gun in real life aside from a holstered one on the occasional cop but my former stepfather-in-law (he and my MIL just separated a few months ago, it sucks as he was awesome) lives in rural FL and is a big-time hunter and lifelong collector of guns. The first time I went to visit them I was kind of bored and looking for a way to connect with him so I asked him if he would show me his guns. He did and that lead to me shooting a gun and from then on it was a tradition for us to shoot at a few cans every time we came down for a visit. It was actually a real bonding experience. :)

However, the ONLY reason I had anything to do with the guns was because I was actively looking for something we could have in common as we are otherwise complete opposites. Also, I only went down there a couple of times a year and certainly wasn't living there where I would have had to deal with them every day.

It sounds like you are really uncomfortable with having guns in your home- I would be, too. I stronly recommend you speak frankly and honestly with your DH as this isn't something you can just turn a blind eye to. Just be understanding and respectful (as I'm sure you always are!), wait to have the conversation at a time when you are both relaxed, comfortable, and in good moods, and be prepared to offer alternative solutions. Like, don't tell him to just get rid of him. Instead, you could tell him to keep the guns but to keep them in, say, an outdoor shed or one of those storage facilities, or even in a locked cabinet in a not easily accessible part of your house like the far corner of your basement or an attic crawl space- he can still get at them when necessary but you greatly reduce the risk of someone getting at them and hurting themselves or others.

Good luck, let us know what happens!


BreAnn Posts : 600 Registered: 11/28/07
Posted: Dec 28, 2008 11:37 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I started this response yesterday and decided to keep out it. But I have changed my mind. First I have to agree that it is way to easy to get a gun in the US. And that a lot of people who have them, do not care about gun saftey laws and regs.
Now, almost everyone in my family are avid hunters. My dad has hunted for most of his life. He has even taken me a few times. While I really have no interest in it, I see no problem with people hunting for sport. Although my family doesn't eat a lot of deer meat, my dad hunts with about 7-8 other people who's family do eat it a lot, so he gives them the meat of his deer if he kills any.

Now, I have two little stories to tell.

1 - When I was in kindergarten, I had a cousin who was in 2nd grade. He was at his grandparents (the other side of his family) store that they owned. They had a loaded gun behind the counter, and did not try to keep it out of reach of the kids. Although my cousin knew better, because his father was also an avid hunter, he picked up the gun to look at it. He never touched the trigger, but the gun went off and shot him through the temple killing him. After that my father wouldn't even let me play with toy guns for a few years.

2 - When I was probably in 7th grade, there was a bar about half a mile from our house. One night my mom came into my room and it startled me. She was clutching the phone. When I asked what was going on she told me to lay still and keep my mouth shut. Some drunk had walked to our house, thinking it was his and was trying to break the door down to get in. My father was standing in the living room with his pistol ready if the guy came in. Now, my father wouldn't have shot to kill, but would have shot to wound so he could get the guy under control until the cops got there.

Right before my DH and I got married he was looking for a new gun. I told him that was fine and even helped him look, but that we had to have some way of locking them up because the RB in our wedding is really close to me and would be at our house some and I did not want him to be able to get to them. So after DH bought his new gun, we went and bought a gun safe that only he and I have the combination to. The RB in our wedding is now 7 years old. He knows better than to mess with guns, and his Step dad is teaching him gun safety and how to shoot. Around here, almost everyone owns guns.

I guess what I am ultimeately saying is that if Dean and your step-son practice gun safety, and keep things unloaded and locked up when not in use, I wouldn't be uncomfortable about it all.


lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Posted: Dec 28, 2008 12:01 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

The statistics on accidental shootings in homes are just too high for me to justify having a loaded, unlocked gun in my home. It takes a split second with no real thought involved to pull out that gun in your night stand and shoot someone you feel is a threat to your life in the dark of night. I have never feared being in my home and I can not imagine living in an area where I did not feel safe in my home. I know the reason for this is that I have never felt threatened in my own home as many people have been. If I had that experience I could imagine that possibly my views would differ. I think that first I would move to an area where I felt safer though.

I would also fear that the gun might be used in the heat of the moment by someone on themselves or a loved one. Too many people, both children and adults, in this day and age suffer from depression, wild mood swings and many are also on prescription drugs and no one really understands all the side effects they cause. A loaded, unlocked gun in that situation is just asking for trouble.

I live in upstate NY, where everyone owns guns. I live in the woods and it is hunting season here now and we are constantly hearing shots around us. I would prefer not to have hunting or guns at all but I know that's really not feasible. Both my husband and myself come from a long line of gun toting family. The majority of my dad's family and also my husband's family hunt for deer every year. My husband's family hunted with beagles when he was growing up. When it comes to a hunting gun I feel there is a time and a place. It's my opinion that the place for the guns when it is not hunting season is locked away or hidden away, unloaded, with the amo also locked or hidden away.That's the way both of our families handled it and also the way we handle it.


BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Posted: Dec 28, 2008 6:19 PM Go to message in response to: lori83

You can teach kids to be smart about gun safety all you want, but if little Johnny wants to impress his new best friend, you can bet
there's a chance that Mr. Pistol could end up as the newest playtoy. Guns should ALWAYS be locked up in homes with kids.

It's just like how you can tell your kid 1000 times to look both ways before crossing the road, but it doesn't mean he won't one day run out in front of a car.

I live in Canada. I don't know anybody with a gun. I don't see any NEED for a gun, and honestly don't understand why people need to have them. I am very anti-gun (but note, not anti-gun-owner...if that makes sense)

I do believe that it's too easy to get a gun in much of the USA, and that is not meant as a negative comments towards your country at all. But it does seem to easy. Here, we need a license to own a DOG (any dog) so I think it makes sense that people need a proper license to own a weapon.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker


RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Posted: Dec 29, 2008 9:18 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I've been "playing" with my gun all weekend and I feel pretty comfortable with it now. His son knows all the safety rules, too. I know when, how, where, the circumstances. I just really hope I never have to use it.

I will be signing up for a gun safety course.


Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Posted: Dec 29, 2008 9:53 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

bird, isn't it crazy how different the attitude toward guns is? I try to put words to it, and it's just so different. I can't imagine anyone I know from home having a gun up on a wall for decoration or in a glass front cabinet in their living room, it's just so incredibly foreign to me.

IMG_7875.jpg picture by sarahandchris2008



futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Posted: Dec 29, 2008 9:59 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I would ban them from the house. The fact you are not comfortable with it is enough to get rid of them. I also see no need for guns in the house. It is just too dangerous.


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Posted: Dec 29, 2008 10:55 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I didn't read any of the other responses, so I'm sorry if the conversation has gone in another direction. I've debated this subject many times, and I just don't feel like reading the inevitable responses right now, so I'm responding solely to Linda Jo's original post.

LJ, we're similar to you guys: I grew up without guns in the house and my mom is a typical suburban mom who would freak out at the idea of guns near children. So that's my background. DH grew up with guns in the house. His dad was former-Navy man turned firefighter who has lots of law enforcement/military buddies who like guns, collect them, drive several states away to go to gun shows, and hunt as a hobby. So my FIL had guns in the house and taught his sons to use them. On top of that, DH was in law enforcement for about five years after college, so he had an employer-issued firearm. He's 100% comfortable with guns and wants to have one (or more) in the house for protection. I'm sure we'll never use it, but in his training and experience working as a cop, he saw many reasons to have a gun for protection, so he bought his own after he quit the profession.

Of course, I've always known all of this, but given MY background and the general 'guns are bad' teachings of the liberal area where I grew up, I was REALLY uncomfortable with the idea of guns at first. I wasn't afraid that he would accidentally shoot someone and I wasn't afraid just to know that they were in his house...but when he moved in with me (and brought the gun, which he put in the dresser drawer next to his side of the bed), I was pretty uncomfortable. I was afraid I'd accidentally shoot it while I was looking for socks or something, and despite his eye-rolling and assurances that unloaded guns do not accidentally go off, I was still uncomfortable, since I didn't know how the thing worked.

Here's what helped: I took a class on 'basic firearms instructions' at a local shooting range. (Your husband could probably teach you if you don't want to take a class...DH tried to teach me, but I wasn't comfortable practicing loading and unloading at home, so we went to the range. And then I realized they have a class, so I signed up, thinking that I'd be more comfortable with a 'real' teacher.) Anyway, I learned how to load it and unload it, how to tell whether it was loaded or unloaded (which is what I was most afraid of), and I got to shoot it, and practice with other types of firearms as well. I had a really good time learning, and now I'm comfortable with the weapon. Like I said, my biggest fear was that it would be loaded and I wouldn't know. Practicing with it taught me how to tell whether it's loaded, and I also learned basic gun safety and stuff about guns, such as 'Guns don't accidentally go off.' Being able to practice with it in a safe environment (under supervision!) made a HUGE difference in my confidence. Rather than taking DH's word for it that 'This means it's not loaded,' I was able to unload it myself, pull the trigger, and SEE that nothing will happen. I'm an interactive learner, so that made a big difference for me.

So now I'm comfortable having the gun around. When I come across it looking for socks, I check to make sure that it's unloaded, and since I learned that for myself, I KNOW that I'm right. I also insist that DH take me shooting every couple months, so I don't forget. I was surprised that I enjoy doing it, but it's actually a lot of fun. I don't particularly WANT a gun of my own (I'd rather spend my money on other stuff), though the one we have is a little big for me, so I'm sure we'll eventually get me something smaller for practice.

My advice is to learn to use it, which will make you more comfortable with it. You're not going to be able to change DH's feelings about guns, so it seems inevitable that you'll have them around...which means you should learn how they work. Even if you don't want to shoot them, you should learn how to tell when they're loaded, unloaded, etc. It will make you more comfortable having them around and knowledge will make an accident more unlikely. I also believe - based on my own experience - that everybody living in a house with a gun (including children) should learn basic gun safety. I'm also a fan of keeping guns in locked cabinets (especially if there are children in the house), but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I'm Ok with the gun in the sock drawer, since everybody in the house knows how to use it.

DaisypathWedding Ticker


KPM Posts : 577 Registered: 1/20/08
Posted: Dec 29, 2008 10:57 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Maine -
Gun ownership is a hot issue. Always will be, in my opinion. I am glad you are getting to know the gun and feel comfortable with it.

My background is one that comes from a family that hunts and we had shotguns in the house. My father taught me from a young age respect for gun safety. Just as he taught me respect for motorcycle safety, that I have passed on to my children
I am not a hunter, but have owned/had guns in my home off and on throughout the years. My children have been taught gun safety and respect as well. One of my children is a gun owner, though 3 are legal to own them. We all have gone shooting together at the range. When my children were younger guns in my home were locked. There is one that is not and that is one that is next to my bed. Though not loaded the magazine is under my pillow at all times.
I also have an ex hubby that is wanted on 2 felony counts. I WILL not sleep alone, so to speak

This christmas I also recieved a gun - 380 semi automatic. I frequently travel alone on my motorcycle - FH would feel better if I was protected, as would I, on the road. I am going to attend the CHL class in a couple of months.

You will find all sides to the issue have good points.
What is important is that you feel comfortable with the decision in YOUR home. If you don't then you and DH need to talk, come to a comprimise or spend time together learning your gun so that you do feel more comfortable.


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, cheesecake in one hand, rum in the other, body totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!


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