In my experience, the real bridezillas do not know or think they are bridezillas. They think their requests are reasonable and that their behavior should be condoned because they are "the bride".
So while I will not state that I am not a bridezilla, I do put my guests and my wedding party at an extreme level of importance in the planning process and have gone out of my way to make sure that the "theme" of the wedding (and related events) is that everyone there feel appreciated and have a good time. I have been in and at weddings where the "theme" was "look at how much money we spent", or "all about the Bride", or "we don't care about you where's our gift"(which is by far the worst kind of wedding)
Being a bridezilla is not about being calm or anxious, its about being considerate and thoughtful to your guests, your loved ones, your ffriends, and your bridal party. Yes you're getting married, but how are your friends lives going? Yes you're getting married, but your sister is pregnant, or buying a house, or starting a job, or just bought a cute skirt on sale, whatever - these people are in your life because you love them - don't forget that. They're supporting you in your wedding plans because they love you - don't forget that.
So am I a Bridezilla - I don't think I am, and I hope that I don't become one in the coming months, and my bridal party has strict instructions to put me in my place quick if I start to slide down that slippery path.
I COMPLETELY agree with PP. Nice, polite, considerate women rarely turn into bridezillas. I am convinced that a bridezilla is born when a b&^$* gets married. Marriage works because they had a shared sense of humor, mutual respect of an awesome depth, faith that they were brought together by a force greater than themselves and a love so unwavering and pure that it is sacred. - Forever Odd by Dean Koontz