Sister dropped as a bridesmaid

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CocaMarie1378 Posts : 76 Registered: 11/4/06
Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 10, 2008 4:07 PM




I just found out through a text that my younger sister will
not grace our presence by being in my wedding. She sent me a text informing me that her
boyfriend is in a wedding the same day and she does not know how she will get
here from school. Prior to this, I had
told her that I would pay for her transportation from school to here and back. We did not have any problems with this
original plan. Then she changed it
saying he was going to come and meet our father, but now. I have 66 days to go and for her to just drop
is so stressful. I asked her about the
original plan and she says she did not know which means of transportation to
take nor did she look into it either. I
know that she is in her junior year of college and was taking the time out to
be in the wedding but at the same token something is not right. I am at a lost of words and truly do not know
what to do. Her bridesmaid attire is
already paid for and ordered. I do not
know anyone that is small enough to wear her custom fit dress. I was and still is at a lost of words and
truly do not know what to do. Am I wrong
for feeling a little upset about the hold situation?


Wishing you PEACE, LOVE and HAPPINESS

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MrsPJM3 Posts : 129 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 10, 2008 4:40 PM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

Wow that is a tough one. I don't know what to tell you except what does your family ie(mom) say. It's usually mom that has the pull or at least in my house it was. However I am kinda in the same boat my moh bf is pregnant and due June 27th. My original wedding date I have since changed my date to July 11th to give her time to heal etc. Background info this isn't her first child and she will probably go a few days early that has been how it was before although being a mom of 2 I know things don't happen the same each time. Anyway after I changed it the 2nd time she called and wanted me to change it agian. I told her when I could figure out how to answer her without being a b**** I'd let her know. So after a few days I called and told her the fh and I talked an we couldn't change the date b/c I am a school teacher and need time to get into my room and stuff in August etc plus this was our day and our wedding and it's really about us not who's there. I really want you to be there and I'd like to plan as though you will be and if you don't' feel up to it then we'll just go on without you. Now she is saying she may just show and be a guest and that is her choice I have asked her to be moh she agreed then all of this. Thankfully we haven't ordered dresses yet or anything. I plan to wait till January then talk with her again and see if she wants to plan to be in or out and leave the choice to her. As they say the show will go on. I know mine is different b/c she isn't my sister but we have been bf for 15 years so it's very hard to think she may not be there.
Maybe give your sister a few days then talk with her again about how much it would mean to you for her to be there.

 

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wedding countdown

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 10, 2008 4:59 PM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

dear KA,

Yep, you have every right to be steamed. I would be, too, if I were in your position.

Your sister has made the mistake so many young people do of putting the needs of a boyfriend before that of family. She should have let him go to his event, alone, so she could go to yours.

There's not much you can do. Talk to your mother about it, but in the final analysis your sister has to make her own choices, bad though they may be. In 10 years the boyfriend will be long gone but she will still have the regret of weasling out on her own sister.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 11, 2008 9:32 AM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

OMG i'd be livid!!!! I vote for telling your mom as corny as that sounds. I think it is nice of you to offer to help her with transportation and you are being very uinderstanding. And this is not a nice way to repay you for that. I'm mad just reading your post! LOL

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 11, 2008 12:09 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Some people just have to learn the hard way :( I am so sorry for your situation but your sister WILL regret not going to her own sister's wedding.

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 11, 2008 12:23 PM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

I have to agree with pp. I would not have been so kind about it. Deffinatly talk to your parents about this. then talk to her again, find out WHY. I am so sorry for you. good luck and keep us posted.


 

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 11, 2008 1:16 PM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

Ooooh I'd be livid! Your sister sounds extremely immature.

I'm sorry you're going through this now. I know how you feel. One of my bridesmaids dropped out a month before my wedding because of oral surgery.

Let us know how things work out.



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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 12, 2008 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

I would be livid in your shoes too. Its one thing to lose a bridesmaid when its something outside of anyone's control, but when some, especially your own sister, chooses not to be there it can really suck. I know I would be heartbroken.

As hard as this is, it might be best to simply tell your sister how disappointed you are and try to move on from it. Or perhaps your parents can try to talk some sense to her. Ultimately, it will be her decision to come or not. Down the road, especially if things don't work out with her boyfriend, she will realize how screwed up what she did was and probably regret it for the rest of her life.

 

Don't make me go Brooklyn on you. I have brass knuckles and I know how to use them.

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CocaMarie1378 Posts : 76 Registered: 11/4/06
Re: Sister dropped as a bridesmaid
Posted: Dec 15, 2008 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: CocaMarie1378

Let me first thank you for reading my issue and giving me some ideas on how to handle the situation. The biggest problem with the whole situation is that she and I have the same father but we are really close. Like I have previously stated she is in school and that much I do understand. From when I have posted the initial post, she and I talked about it. See the main issue is that she does not know my side of the family nor does she know any of our father's family. She said that she is nervous and truly did not feel like she was comfortable coming without her mother or boyfriend. Now I do find that strange because initially she was coming by herself. I expressed to her my disappointed in the whole situation. I also expressed to her that she should have told me this sooner so that I did not have to order her attire and gift. I just decided not to bring our father into the situation because he will be the one that is livid about her deciding not to come. I also decided that the show must go on and is looking forward to my big daddy.. Once again thanks.
Wishing you PEACE, LOVE and HAPPINESS

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