Promise rings-what do you think?

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BenjaminsWife Posts : 1,069 Registered: 1/11/07
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Oct 31, 2008 3:20 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I think it's sweet. My Fh got me a promise ring for our 1 year anniversary...I got my engagement ring on our 2 year anniversary  and we got married the day after our 4 year anniversary.

The promise ring was a simple ring with a heart. At that time, DH didnt have a lot of money but I know he tried really hard to make it happen. In fact, I think he used his car payment money for it.  I dont wear it anymore but it is something I will always love and cherish.

There's nothing wrong with it.


Just Married...9.20.08

Formerly BenjaminsBride 

 

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mrsj2011 Posts : 31 Registered: 10/21/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Oct 31, 2008 3:38 PM Go to message in response to: BenjaminsWife

If you want a promise ring then you should do what you want its how it makes you feel. Heres a way to look at it, some people can say your old enough to get married, but some people are not always ready (no matter what age everyone is different) just yet and with being together for not really long you want to make sure your doing the right thing, which is smarter than saying lets get engage now. So its sweet that he knows he wants to be with and smart to not rush into things. Do what is best for your relationship

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DutchBride Posts : 118 Registered: 3/11/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Nov 11, 2008 8:45 PM Go to message in response to: mrsj2011

When FH and I had been dating for one year I got a promise ring.  It meant a lot to me then and still does; I still wear it.  We were not old enough to be financially stable and engaged yet, but knew we wanted to marry eventually.  It reminds me a lot of our love and relationship then and my engagement ring symbolizes our relationship and love now.  It really depends on the person though.  

 

I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & that the Eskimos has a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me when you sleep & there are no words for that -Brian Andreas

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sweetpeas Posts : 31 Registered: 11/3/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Nov 13, 2008 10:23 PM Go to message in response to: DutchBride

I agree with DB,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years and are planning on getting married, and had even put a ring on layaway. Then the world came crashing down and his mom got into an accident at work (with no insurance) and his car broke down so he has a lot of bills to pay.  He also decided that he wants to make sure he gets his schooling done so he can support us and that we won't have to worry about money too much when we raise a family. So I have to wait for my e-ring, but he said he wants to get me a non-diamond promise ring, because he thinks diamonds are for e/wedding rings.  So I think whenever I get my p-ring, it'll show me that he wants to commit but wants to be the best man for me before he does.

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VasKocka Posts : 4 Registered: 12/13/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Dec 13, 2008 9:13 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08


I can say that I wasn't much of a fan. It can easily be an empty promise.
Until my current BF gave me one last X-mas.
I was hinting for a long time that I wanted a "shiny ring" for X-mas, but
since he wasn't ready for a commitment that big he decided on getting
me a cute little promise ring.

I literally cried when he opened the box and he said that he loved me
and wanted to be with me forever. I knew he wasn't ready for
marriage..(at the time he even told me he was not a fan of marriage)
but the fact that he gave me a promise ring for x-mas meant everything.


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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Dec 13, 2008 9:51 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I donttoo much care for promise rings but it would freak me out him asking me to be the mother of his children without a engagement ring or waiting until marriage. His priorities arekinda screwed up here
Photobucket www.weddingcountdown.com

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Dec 14, 2008 3:07 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

My boyfriend gave me a promise ring for Christmas of 2003 and we are still going strong! We've been together for 5 years and this Christmas will be when he pops the question! I think promise rings are cute. It shows that there is someone out there that loves you and wants to spend forever with you. It's between just being bf and gf and being engaged. A promise ring is a ring that doesn't mean u have to hurry up and get married. To me it means more of like an 'I love you' ring.

Edited by: CheetahAngel on Dec 14, 2008 3:07 PM

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FitzMcgee Posts : 13 Registered: 12/11/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Dec 15, 2008 1:04 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I agree with the PP.


My boyfriend gave me a promise ring about 6 months into our relationship. We were already living together and felt married as it was :P But we knew we weren't ready for a real marriage. Therefore, the promise ring was our way of being together and letting the world know about it without any legalities. I say it's smart for a younger couple to do the promise ring before the engagement ring.

And on our 1-year I gave him a "promise band". So now when we're together we really look like we're married :D

I'm a newbie learnin' the ropes :D

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SanaChan Posts : 47 Registered: 1/2/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Dec 15, 2008 6:58 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I think promise rings can be a great idea! I can understand why there are people out there that think the idea is stupid, but I disagree.

For one thing, you can be ready to be married, but not ready for a wedding. Weddings are time consuming and expensive. For a day that you've been dreaming of your whole life, you usually want to get it pretty close to the way you've always dreamed it to be.

That being said, that doesn't mean that you're not ready to spend the rest of your life with the one you love and that you aren't fully commited to them.

A promise ring is a great way of showing that commitment, but doesn't mean that you're ready for "the big day" itself.
"Those who want to relive their youth, are probably too old to remember it."

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parvastella22 Posts : 199 Registered: 4/24/06
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 2:48 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I'm joining the "not a fan" club, and I think it's because I'm a little bitter that I've never had any kind of high school or college sweetheart to think about. My relationships prior to adulthood sucked, and I think there was a really big reason to that...we simply weren't mature enough and I'm okay with admitting that.

I did give my first boyfriend my "purity ring" and he gave me his silver necklace which I wrapped around my wrist before he went off to bootcamp. I would think other kinds of jewelry would be a more appropiate choice before a ring.

When I did get married I had a ring from Robbins Bros that was listed as a "promise ring" because it was under $300. I was a bit saddened by the fact that, because I was young, people thought I was only promised to and not engaged or married. At the time, we were struggling and it was a shotgun military marriage, so I took it as a temporary ring until we got ceremonially re-vowed with a bridal set. But that didn't work out at all and we were legally divorced sometime ago (I was planning the ceremony on the boards...hence being a member since 2006).

My current BF gave me a trio set of rings for Christmas, which didn't fit since my fingers are kinda tiny. I was very flattered and was tempted to wear them on my left ring finger, but he commented that he didn't want to give my family a heart attack since we both feel it's too soon after the divorce.

I do admit I yearned for a promise ring early in my current relationship because I wanted to be something like a high school or college sweetheart, but it was a ridiculous idea because we were both too old for that (I'm turning 24 and he's turning 27 this year). Since I was married before, I think he became more careful with the thought of giving rings to me, and it took him awhile until he did. But, he has given me loads of earrings and necklaces for the meanwhile, and I wear them proudly because of it.

So in short, to me the whole p-ring experience was pretty negative...maybe it was bad luck or something. I'm sure I'm echoing the same sentiments as pp's...my two cents.



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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 3:16 PM Go to message in response to: parvastella22

I had one, from my now-husband. I loved having it, but did feel a bit lame explaining it to people because so many people think the concept is cheesey.

For me, I think it depends on the circumstances. I think it's cheesey when a 15-year-old gets a promise ring from her 15-year old boyfriend. I also think it's lame when a guy gives his girlfriend a promise ring ONLY TO avoid giving an engagement ring (this happened to a friend of mine - he thought giving a promise ring would basically shut her up about wanting to get married).

I think it's sweet when, say, marriage is being talked about, but the two people aren't quite at that step yet. I also think it's sweet just to give a pretty ring to your girlfriend because you want to. My friend has a "promise ring" that her boyfriend gave her. He didn't actually call it a promise ring. He wanted to give her a nice ring, and when he gave it to her, he said "One day, I know I'll replace this with an engagment ring", so I guess technically it's a promise ring, but the point was "I want to give her a nice piece of jewelery".

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

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AlmostMrsShelley Posts : 4 Registered: 1/6/09
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 9:25 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I think that in today's economy, a large extravagant wedding with a huge ring is a little too much to expect. My fiance is very frugle. He cautiously spends money, and I totally respect that. He won't buy anything on credit. He bought me a gorgeous aquamarine ring, which I love. He really wanted to get me a diamond, but we can't justify the expense since we are both still in school. He'll graduate from his grad program May '09 and I will graduate with my BA in May '10. We really want to get married and this just made sense. We've decided we will later take the aquamarine and have it set with a diamond on both sides. For me, it's all about the wedding band and the marriage, not the huge flashy diamond for everyone to see.

-Elledragaled

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” -Audrey Hepburn


Edited by: elledragaled on Jan 7, 2009 9:26 PM

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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Jan 10, 2009 4:58 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky
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independant2406 Posts : 58 Registered: 12/8/08
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Jan 11, 2009 7:25 AM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I got a promise ring from my FH three years ago. It's got a large sapphire (my birthstone) with two diamonds on each side. I love it! I think promise rings can be a good thing in a couple of ways.

1. it lets you know your BF is serious, and wants to stay committed to you.
2. it gives the guy a sense of "posession" we all know how men like to show off "their woman"
3. its a good alternative to an actual engagement ring when one or both of the couple is too young to marry at the moment.

My FH and I were still in high school when he gave me the promise ring. Nither of us was ready to get married at that time, but we knew we were going to marry eachother in the future. So the promise ring was a symbol of that promise. And in 2010 we're going to complete that promise. :)

I can't wait till the ring is paid off so he can actually propose and make it "official"

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headoverheels8 Posts : 80 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Promise rings-what do you think?
Posted: Jan 19, 2009 9:36 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 1/2 years. He gave me a promise ring about a year ago which was disappointing because I was expecting an engagement ring. I've never liked promise rings, I don't see the point in them. If you're going to promise to get engaged to someone just get engaged and if you're too young to get married soon just have a long engagement. When he gave me the ring I felt like I was 16 and I am a senior in college now. He did write this very beautiful letter explaining why he bought it and basically it said that whenever he has the money to buy me the engagement ring I "deserve" then he will. Its a beautiful ring. I call it my "pre-engagement" ring instead of a promise ring. Just something to hold me over until he has saved enough money.

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