How to Wear The Rings?

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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 10:19 PM

I looked it up and it says wear the wedding band close to your heart. Is this true? And do you wear the engagement ring to the alter or wear nothing to just get the band?

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 10:14 AM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

I have no idea what the "correct" answer to this question is, so I'm probably not very helpful. However, I plan to wear my engagement ring on my left ring finger during the ceremony and just let my FH add the wedding band to it. After the wedding I plan to wear my wedding band on the top, which I don't think is the right way, but my Ering is a tiny bit big even though its the size I told him, FH refuses to let me have it resized, so the wedding band will fix that. My friend that recently got married wore her Ering on her right hand during the ceremony and then moved it back to her Left hand for the reception.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 10:18 AM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

Dear JJ,

You can wear your rings any way you like. It's your choice.

I will tell you what's "traditional", though.

Symbolically, once a wedding ring is on your finger, you never take it off. Thus the wedding ring is the first ring on your finger. If you want to wear another ring, such as the engagement ring, then that ring goes on top of the wedding ring. (Note the word "symbolically". I actually take my wedding ring off a lot, such as at night when I sleep, when doing "dirty" work, etc.)

The standard advice is as follows. Just before you go to get married, switch the engagement ring from your left hand to your right hand, leaving the left ring finger bare. Then, the wedding ring is placed on the left hand. At some later convenient point, switch the engagement ring to the left hand, wearing the two rings on the same hand.

When I was a child, it was considered good manners for a woman to wear white gloves in church. (I've been around for a while.) Brides had a choice between long, elbow length white gloves or short wrist length gloves. Long gloves were hard to take off and put on, thus, the "usual" advice was to slit the glove at the ring finger so the wedding ring could be put on the finger without having to remove the entire glove. The glove was slitted just under the finger joint, not all the way through. If the bride opted for short white gloves, then the glove could be quickly removed, then replaced once the wedding ring was on the finger. Thankfully, by the time I got married, the custom of gloves in church was long past. (!!!)

****

Having said all that, much depends on your own chosen style of engagement and wedding ring. When I got married, "matched sets" were popular, and that is what I have. The matched set was made to be worn together. Many women got them soldered together, post wedding, so they would move on the finger as one ring.

Mine are not soldered together, and my wedding ring can be worn alone. I often wear the diamond engagement ring on my right hand and the plain gold band wedding ring on my left, just because it's easier to keyboard without a thick double ring combo on one hand.

These days I often see engagement rings and wedding rings that are not matched sets, and are not worn together. In that case, the engagement ring goes on the right hand, post wedding.

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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thanks ladies I appreciate the responses!!

www.weddingcountdown.com

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 11:08 AM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

AOTB gave the 'correct' answer, but you can really do whatever you want.

I wore my engagement ring on my left hand during our ceremony, so my wedding band went on second, which is backwards from normal. I just changed them around after the ceremony. Honestly, it seemed kind of silly to stress over how to wear my engagement ring during the ceremony, so I just left it the way I always wore it. It's nice, since I have photos of me holding my bouquet before the ceremony with only the engagement ring on my left hand...and photos after the ceremony with both rings.

And personally, neither my wedding band nor my e-ring fit on my right ring finger. I think that's true for a lot of people. Usually the hand you write with (I am right handed) is a slightly larger ring size than the hand you do not write with.

So for the ceremony, do whatever you want. Just don't lose your ring. A friend of mine left her e-ring somewhere before the ceremony and ended up losing it. My advice is to keep it on.

And on the other question, I normally wear my wedding band first on my finger and the e-ring on top of it. The 'closest to your heart' tradition comes from an ancient Greek (I believe) belief that there is a vein that runs from the ring finger directly to the heart.

And I also take my rings off pretty frequently. Just never near a drain or anywhere I'm likely to lose them!

DaisypathWedding Ticker

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 1:21 PM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

Ladies,

This is as good a place as any to remind ourselves of the difference between etiquette and tradition/customs.

Etiquette is concerned with how you treat other people.

Traditions and customs is how you conduct your own affairs. How you wear jewelry, or don't wear jewelry, is your own business. You can wear your wedding ring through a nose piercing, should you so desire. You can exchange lava lamps intead of rings, if that is your preference. Go for it.

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Lava lamps would definitely get some attention lol.


I bet somewhere, some crazy couple probably have used nose rings in their wedding


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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 2:23 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Yes the lava lamps would get attention but wow engagement ring through the nose !! awesomeeee lol
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www.weddingcountdown.com

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LexiAndClayton Posts : 26 Registered: 12/6/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 2:29 PM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

Personally, I never take off my Ering. and Id like it to be in the photos so I plan on wearing mine. My ring, I'm going to have a band on each side, alot of people wait for the second band as an aniversery one, but i want both right away. but if I was only to have one Wring then I would def wear it "cloesest to the heart"

Lexi and Clayton

***Unexpected what U did to my heart <3 ***

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MrsXSecretX Posts : 15 Registered: 12/6/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

just wear a veil to the alter so people know your getting married for me i already got a veil and its not even close to the time i get married but mines made by me i made it sort of 80ish because im 80ish and 50ish styled proper but sometimes outrageous with my ideas lol

Hes Mine!! RAWR

Imagine me and u
I do
I think about u day and night
Its only right
To think about the 1 u luv
And hold him tight
So happy together

If i should call u up
Invest a dime
And u say u belong 2 me
And ease my mind
Imagine how the world would be
So very fine
So happy together

I can't see me loving nobody but u-
(so happy together, yeah, so happy together)
When your with me, baby, the skies will be blue
(so happy together, my luv for u gonna be forever)

I think of me and u
And u and me
No matter how they toss a dice
It had 2 be
The only 1 for me is u And u for me So happy together

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Laurenc126 Posts : 51 Registered: 11/14/07
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 6:34 PM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

I have two bands (one on each side of the engagment ring). I wore my e-ring for pictures pre-ceremony. The e-ring did not fit on my right hand so I pinned it to my flowers' ribbons with the second wedding band. My husband put the one ring on and before pictures of us together I put the other two on. I did have them soldered together recently because it became a pain to put on and take off 3 rings. But when you have them soldered together, you generally have to have the size bumped up a little as its harder to put them on all at once then individually.

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 6, 2008 8:38 PM Go to message in response to: Laurenc126

The only "right way" to wear the ring is what makes you comfortable. Traditionally, the wedding band is worn under the engagement ring, it's "closest to your heart". For our ceremony, I went bare-handed. Before the wedding, my maid-of-honor took my engagement ring to my husband-to-be. He placed both rings on my finger at the same time when we exchanged rings.

Poster Formerly Known as beauti381

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

Happily Married since June 21, 2008

Happy Together since June 20, 1994

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sweeneysound Posts : 4 Registered: 4/1/08
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 7, 2008 3:02 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thank you "auntofthebride" for your detailed answer in this thread!! You really cleared this one up for me! I like your history on cutting up gloves, too! I always wondered how they did that! I think the right hand idea for the engagement ring is totally the right way for me to do this. My proud loyal college ring which has held that finger for 12 years will have to agree to this change for one day -- or at least, for the ceremony. May my alma mater forgive me. I guess a ring pillow (or best man's pocket) just holds the two bands, and the engagement ring (hanging out on bride's right hand) receives no "blessing," eh? Well, thanks again for your fabulous advice. It's simple stuff like this sometimes that always makes one search and search for answers! You are a genius.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How to Wear The Rings?
Posted: Dec 8, 2008 10:54 AM Go to message in response to: sweeneysound

Dear Sweeny,

" I guess a ring pillow (or best man's pocket) just holds the two bands, and the engagement ring (hanging out on bride's right hand) receives no "blessing," eh?"

Yes, only the actual wedding bands traditionally are blessed during the ceremony.

However, your message sparks an idea. You don't want to take off your school ring, so why not put all three rings (e-ring, your w-ring, his w-ring) on the ring bearer's pillow? Then, all three would be blessed by the officiant, then as your groom puts your w-ring on your finger during the ceremony, he could just slip the e-ring on over it. Your school ring would remain on your right hand throughout.

I don't see any reason not to do that. Why not discuss it with your FH and the officiant and see what they think?

Remember, it's totally OK to break from tradition should you decide the reasoning behind the tradition does not match your reality. This is in contrast with etiquette, since it's never "correct" to deliberately insult or hurt others.

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