I want to have a very nice wedding but my fiance and I don't have much money and neither do our parents. So I am wondering how can I have a beautiful wedding but yet not spent tons of money? I would say our budget is only $4000 for everything, minus my dress and the suits. Any suggestions? Thanks!

Dear Cheetah Angel,

Welcome to the club. With today's economy in the dumps, you are right "in style" with a minimalistic wedding.

I, too, had a minimalistic wedding back in 1976. My wedding came to about $1000, which would be about $5000 today. It was beautiful and I would not change a thing.

Most of the time when a bride thinks of her wedding, she wants to outdo other weddings. Think, instead, of UNDERDOING other weddings. It's actually a fun challenge to think of what you can eliminate and still come out with a beautiful and unique wedding.

Some examples:

You don't have to put the men in expensive rental formalwear. Instead, ask them to wear a suit out of their closets. If a guy does not have a suit, then he really ought to get one so he can wear it on other occasions.

My dress was not a "bridal gown", but instead a white debutante dress. It cost $85 (probably about $150 today.) I added a floppy brimmed garden hat for $35, and that was it. You might consider borrowing a dress, or getting something off eBay.

My wedding was outdoors, in my parents' backyard. Venue = Free.

I eliminated all kinds of money pits: Professional hair styling, professional make up, manicure, DJ, limo, etc. I took a shower in the morning, dried my hair with a blow dryer as I do every morning, and got married without makeup, just like any other day. I never wear makeup. No need for a limo, since I got dressed in my own bedroom at my parents' house, then walked downstairs to the wedding.

You don't have to serve a full meal to your wedding guests. Schedule your wedding for mid-afternoon, and serve finger food, punch and cake. That's perfectly OK; just indicate "light refreshments" on the invitation. As a child, I went to dozens of weddings and never once saw a full meal. It just wasn't "done" in those days. I never saw a full meal at a wedding reception until I was in college. ("Hey, what's this? Dinner?")

It totally can be done. You just have to be flexible and creative. There's absolutely nothing wrong with putting on a wedding that is within your budget, in fact it's admirable to do so.

Do the best you can, then hold your head high.

Mrs. Pinky

In addition:
We also bought chocolate fountains from Target instead of renting one
My FMILs friend does hair and make-up
We are making a big salad to go along with dinner
The grooms men are wearing suits instead of tuxes
We are having the rehearsal dinner (just the dinner part) at our home and BMs are helping cook

Cheetah,
I see that you are getting married in CT, as am I, and for that.. I sympathise with you! Although we have a pretty large budget, through our planning, we've discovered some ways to save. Even in CT.

1) Flowers! It's easy to cut back here. We are only having bouqets for the bridal party and petals for the tables. We are borrowing candles from the venue and renting silk flowers from the florist or the ceremony. Also, look into groceries stores. A lot of them do weddings for a fraction of the cost.
2) Invitations - DIY all the way! I have a friend who spent $3k on invites..I spent $100 (there is a wholesale paper place near Hartford)
3) I also don't know where in CT you are, but my friend got her dress at a bridal consignment shop in Glastonbury, CT. She got a vintage Maggie Sotero for a steal.

I agree with others on keeping the guest list down, that's the best way to keep it cheap. And find a flexible venue. Good luck!
Steff

Hey Miss Cheetah!

Your wedding is well over a year away, and boy does that buy you a lot of cool things!

1. Decide on your theme, and decide early. For example: Fall wedding. Well, in 2010 do you want to be shopping for your decorations while everyone else is..... OR would you rather buy them at the end of the season in 2009 at 50% off? (Guess what I was doing this year for my 2009 fall wedding, buying cheap decorations.) The ceiling of our reception venue will be decorated with white christmas lights (that I got on sale) and have strings of leaves cascading down -- to look like stars from under the forest canopy...indoors. I got the leaves at the hobby store for 50% off, because I waited until the fall stuff was on sale.

2. Invites. Our invites are costin us approximately $300. The cost -- Approximately $250 for a color laser jet (which we can also use for the programs and newsletters that we're sending to the bridal party) and $30 for the invites themselves. I got the invitations (two boxes) at Michaels. I used their coupon for 50% off, and bought two boxes of the invites we wanted. I've not printed them yet. They are hanging out in my "Wedding Stuff" box. BE WARY OF A LOT OF STUFFING IN THESE. You want them to not need special stamps to send. You want to be able to use standard postage and if you stick too much in them, they will weigh too much.

3. The things that you can make -- decorations like the centerpieces, you can buy the items in advance and off season, so you're not spending out the wazoo. Why pay $10 if you can pay $5?

for example: I'm making candles, and I wanted them in glass containers -- I was initially planning on wine glasses. I didn't care if the wine glasses matched. YARD SALE! But while I was yard saling, I came across a box of candle stuff... all the tapers I will need for everyone to participate in the Unity candle, except the actual unity candle set (I want all the family members to take part in this portion), and 23 matching votive holders that are just the perfect size to actually make into candles. For $8. A true steal. The wax isn't going to be cheap, but again, I have time to go to the craft store every week with their 50% off one item coupon and buy it. And keep an eye out for their sales.

The more time you have, the more you can pick out in advance and watch for sales. Or go on eBay -- eBay is a wonderful friend (where we got the $250 color laser printer.... it was the exact one we watned at Office Depot and the cost was well over $500 for that one)

4. Favors. A lot of people do these. They are not really necessary, but they are a nice touch. But they can also be pretty pricey if you don't do wisely. Ours will end up costing about $1 each....that's factoring in the equipment that we bought to make them -- CDs with lightscribe on top (that's where the design is etched into the top of the CD rather than via lable)

5. Invest in an iPod. Honestly... you can use it for the ceremony and for the reception and it's a lot less than the DJ. Okay, the DJ is more fun, but let's be honest, we need to spend the money on what is IMPORTANT to us. If the DJ is that, then that is where your budget goes.

But absolutely -- look at the traditions and remove what is not important to you. Determine what your areas are that are must haves. For example: I don't really give a rat about having a spiffy cake cutter and server. I really don't. We found one for $9. It's not 'wow' but I don't care about that thing... I see no reason to shell out $50 on something I don't CARE about. I did care about the cake topper -- and we did spend $30 on it (and that's not even too bad). but the cake topper perfectly embodies our theme (it's a porcelin claddagh). The only way it could have been more perfect was if we had designed a mold of our wedding logo and cast it ourselves (and I assure you THAT would have cost more than $30).

But once you decide what you want, don't look back. Sure, have fun with it, but don't keep adding things. That's what FH and I are having to do -- rein ourselves in, because we are both constantly adding new DIY things. Fortunately, it's not simultaneous -- so I can pull him back from his delusion that he can completely rewire the ceiling of the church's fellowship hall so that it will have places for the lights (and they would like that) because I'm currently being level headed about our ability. But I'll turn around and decide that the candles I am making aren't enough -- I need to get styrofoam circles and start doing something with them to make them more elaborate. So he talks me down. Decide what you want, what you can reasonably do. If you have time AFTER YOU FINISH THOSE TASKS and you have money for them too....then consider adding.

Also... STAMPS GO UP IN MAY (I don't know what to). I know, Forever Stamps aren't as cute as the love ones (and they have one IN my wedding colors, dang and blast!), but if you buy a book of Forever Stamps every payday, it costs you $8.40 a pop....and those stamps will be good forever (love the concept!!). For 100 guests, it will take 10 paydays to do the invites and the reponse cards. And other 6 pay days should take care of your Thank You notes. However, if you buy all of these at one go? Let's see.... 200 for the invites/response cards, and another 120 for thank yous -- that's 320 stamps at TODAY's rate of 42 cents $134.40 OUCH for one sitting. You don't feel it as much if you are buying in tiny increments

Get one credit card that you use for Wedding Stuff (pay it off each billing cycle) . If you pay by check, your recourse is less. Credit cards offer you a certain level of insurance. You'd want to use this card for vendors. Create a bank account for your wedding things, and try to put some money in it every pay period. This way, when you're ready to put the deposit on your rings, its there. (Pay on the credit card, and then paythat credit card!) You'll also have an automatic tracking of your wedding expenses by maintaining separate accounts. When you buy the stamps, pay with that check book. When you buy the decorations, that check book.

Since you do have so much time, definitely consider being a DIY bride. What kinds of crafts do you love? What are your hobbies? Incorporate them into your wedding.

I sincerely believe that our wedding is going to cost around $3,000.

Good luck and Have Fun.

Misty

You all have been such a BIG help! I have some ideas in my head now that won't be that pricey :) THANKS! Any more ideas keep them coming.....

Regardless of the budget, make sure the wedding really shows who you are. I've been to weddings where I'm sure they spent a ton of money on the food or whatever, but the ones I really remember and enjoyed the most were the ones where the bride's and groom's personalities really shined through. When in doubt, use 40 and 50% off coupons at Michael's and Joann. I go about once a week. =-) Michael's in particular has some great silk flowers, and it's incredibly easy to make a veil if you're having one.

And you don't have to do flowers or even candles for centerpieces. I'm using snowglobes I bought from Ebay. I've also seen weddings with no centerpieces, and nobody even noticed. Food is another fun thing to use.