Too Soon To Start Planning?

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nessaree Posts : 4 Registered: 10/7/08
Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 3:37 PM

So, my boyfriend and I were sitting around a little over a month ago and he says to me "What time of year do you want to get married?" and I told him that I have always wanted a fall/winter wedding. So he said "Well, how about we plan on getting married next fall (09)?" He told me that I should pick a date and start doing some planning. There was a specific venue and photographer that I really wanted to use so I went ahead and booked both of them for the date even though I don't have a ring and we are not officially engaged. Some people have acted like I'm crazy for planning before we're engaged. I think it makes perfect sense to book the things I really want before somebody else books on our date. If my boyfriend and I are both comfortable with it then why is everybody else so weirded out by it? Does this make sense to anybody else or am I crazy?

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

So you're not engaged?

Mrs. Pinky


glitter-graphics.com

Our Wedding Website 

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bamaybe Posts : 2 Registered: 5/8/07
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 3:54 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

Makes sense to me. We started talking about wedding stuff before we were officially engaged because we knew when we wanted to get married but he was waiting on a special date (first day of holiday season--because we're Christmas freaks) to make it official and give me the ring. Do it in whatever order you want.

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nessaree Posts : 4 Registered: 10/7/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 5:52 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

mrspinky wrote:So you're not engaged?

Mrs. Pinky


glitter-graphics.com

Our Wedding Website
No, we're not engaged yet...we currently live in Kansas and we hate it so we are getting ready to move back home to St. Louis and he's waiting until we get back so that it will actually be a happy event! haha.

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 5:58 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

No, we're not engaged yet...we currently live in Kansas and we hate it so we are getting ready to move back home to St. Louis and he's waiting until we get back so that it will actually be a happy event! haha.
I can understand that. Kansas is really boring. St. Louis is so fun! I'm orginally from K.C.! So he's waiting til ya'll move back to St. L to propose?

Mrs. Pinky


glitter-graphics.com

Our Wedding Website 

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 8:17 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

Depends on your definition of engaged. Mine is that if he's asked you to marry and you've said yes, you're engaged. If the only way that you can feel engaged has to do with a ring, then no, you're not engaged. If he's asking you not to say anything publicly, then you're not engaged.

If you're engaged (by YOUR definition), then start planning. Otherwise, decide (together) when you can start planning.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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Southwick Posts : 14 Registered: 6/9/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 24, 2008 8:43 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. My fiance and I didn't officially get engaged until August but we started planning in early June because we didn't want to sacrifice not getting the place we wanted. I can totally relate to the comments people make. We encountered the same thing. It wasn't until after I got my ring that my own mother actually realized that we were really getting married. Just remember, regardless of whether you are "officially" engaged or not, people are going to have comments about everything. Better to plan for what you want now. You already have the guy! The ring is just a technicality. Good luck!

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nessaree Posts : 4 Registered: 10/7/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:56 AM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

mrspinky wrote:
No, we're not engaged yet...we currently live in Kansas and we hate it so we are getting ready to move back home to St. Louis and he's waiting until we get back so that it will actually be a happy event! haha.
I can understand that. Kansas is really boring. St. Louis is so fun! I'm orginally from K.C.! So he's waiting til ya'll move back to St. L to propose?

Mrs. Pinky


glitter-graphics.com

Our Wedding Website
Yes, he's waiting until we get back to St.Louis to propose officially. I would much rather it happen there than here. At least there we have special places that we love. Plus my whole family is there and I'd really love it if they were nearby for the big event.

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 12:02 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

How does he feel about it?

Mrs. Pinky


glitter-graphics.com

Our Wedding Website 

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MrsMaldonado Posts : 2,852 Registered: 3/7/07
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 2:42 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

It's perfectly fine to start planning & booking now since you plan on getting married next year....it is not that far away & a year passes by fast when planning. I say go for it. Best of luck!


Just married!
September 27, 2008

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 3:35 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

There is nothing wrong with starting the planning process before getting engaged. A ring is just that, a ring. We think it is so important, when in all actuality, it's not. If both of you know this is what you want, and you already have a date in mind, go for it. Especially since you guys are planning to wed next year. That year is going to fly by!


preview image

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 4:19 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

My FH just proposed (the way he'd been planning) about 3 1/2 weeks ago and we're getting married next October. I'm worried that we won't have enough time. So, this is definitely time to start planning. I didn't want to start planning until he'd actually asked and I'd accepted so I didn't plan anything until he did. But if that is what you are waiting on, you may suggest that is what you need to get "into the whole planning thing." And then when you get home, you can have some sort of ring ceremony with your friends and family.
wedding widget

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nessaree Posts : 4 Registered: 10/7/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 25, 2008 5:43 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

He'd much rather wait too because I'm the only girl in my family and the last one to get married so he knows it is kind of a big deal to my parents.

mrspinky wrote:How does he feel about it?

Mrs. Pinky


glitter-graphics.com

Our Wedding Website

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hhelms Posts : 11 Registered: 11/21/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 28, 2008 6:51 PM Go to message in response to: nessaree

Nessaree,

I'm in the same boat: my guy has yet to officially propose, but we both know he's just waiting to be able to purchase the ring. I mean, he's already gotten my parents blessing, and told pretty much all his family. I think that so long as you're both comfortable with starting the planning and preparations, there's no reason not to go ahead and book things. My guy is in the Army, and so that makes things a little tight for us, since we can't travel, and have to plan the date to either be in break between his classes, or for a time during his classes that won't be too hectic. With that in mind, we've already started discussing things and trying to find an officiator (we want a hybrid ceremony, and it's a bit difficult in our local area) ... I've only been in the area a few months, and I have NO idea where to look for a caterer or a bakery or photographer ... and with him being "at work" between 12-14 hours for the forseeable future, I'm planning as much as I can ahead of the crunch time. My guy's totally supportive, even though he keeps saying we're not "officially" engaged, and is even helping by getting into contact with the base Chaplain for guidance. Let other people comment, in the end it really comes down to you and your guy's happiness and comfort. If you have that, what do you care about the comments?

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: Too Soon To Start Planning?
Posted: Nov 29, 2008 12:47 PM Go to message in response to: hhelms

I am more or less in the same boat. We started talking about getting married picked a date, I started getting ideas for what I wanted, and found a venue for the ceremoney and recption, my parents booked it, we have 6 months till the wedding, and still no offcial proposal, but we knew we wanted to marry eachother, and really don't want to wait. We havent been able to get my ring yet, and I dont know if he is planning a real proposal, but either way I really don't care I am marring the man I love and getting everything I want along the way. Plus the whole no proposal thing is totaly us.....So I say go for it if you KNOW you are marring him, and HE is ok with it.

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