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gots2laugh Posts : 1 Registered: 10/11/08
Posted: Oct 11, 2008 10:28 PM

I have a bit of dilemma.  We are talking about our upcoming future of a wedding.  We do not have an actual date set yet, but we are thinking sometime next Spring or Fall 2009.  However, there is bit of a glitch.  I live in California and he lives in Tennessee.  I will probably move to Tennessee next Spring, but my family and friends are here and his are in Tennessee.  So, I have a few issues I would like to bring up to see if anyone can answer my queries:  

Neither side can really afford to fly to either state and money is obviously a hardship.  And, some of his family cannot make it to California because they do not drive or fly.  And, my brother and his family may not be able to afford the trip to TN. 

I have always wanted to get married outdoors, but he claims he will sweat in his "penguin" suit without air conditioning.  And he states he 'has' to wear the black tuxedo. 

What would you recommend?  Any suggestions on locations?  Two different ceremonies?  Two different receptions?  One elopement with intimate family and then 1-2 receptions?  

I'm at a standstill and have no ideas of what to do..... 

Any suggesstions?  Thank you so much for your time.

I know I asked quite a bit. 

Sincerely, Kirstin K


FinallyMrsS Posts : 1,035 Registered: 3/29/08
Re: Wedding
Posted: Oct 11, 2008 10:41 PM Go to message in response to: gots2laugh

A friend of mine recently had the sale dilemma. She had her ceremony and reception here in CA and then had a reception in Michigan with her husbands family. I think you should have the ceremony where ever you guys decide and then have 2 receptions. As for your FH sweating in the penguin suit, maybe get married when it is not so hot out. I don't know where in CA you are, but I would avoid a wedding in the summer since it is really hot then.


coastiebride Posts : 1,365 Registered: 3/26/07
Re: Wedding
Posted: Nov 20, 2008 3:05 AM Go to message in response to: gots2laugh

We had the same problem we lived in NorCal and his family lives in Fla and my family is spread out between Fla and NJ. So we figured the majority of the family lives in Fla and the rest if they really want to be there they would figure a way to make it happen, and they did. i cant tell you how many of my aunts/uncles and cousins are all flying or driving down for the wedding, some i never even expected to show up in the first place. There was no way i would of been able to pull off to receptions, so that was the easiest for us. I would elope unless you can afford two receptions. Or maybe a DW would be better? There are just so many options. I am sure you will find one that will suit the two of you

 Lets not all get caught up in our wedding. Remember we should not only be planning for a our wedding but more so we should be planning for  our marriage. More so then fighting over shades of peach, tuxs, cake flavors and only god knows what else. Because the next morning it is over, guests are gone the flowers have died the cake well lets face it 1/2 of it was tossed out. Cinderella is still a maid, the limo is now a pumpkin And there is life to face ok after wild crazy monkey sex for 7 nights straight, lets not kid out selfs there are priorities After its all gone there's still bills to pay and a job to go back to

Going to the Chapel December 6th 2008

Love is a four-letter word spelled G-I-V-E


Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Wedding
Posted: Nov 20, 2008 6:25 AM Go to message in response to: coastiebride

OUr families are from opposite sides of the country. Mine's in British Columbia, Canada, and his is in Pennsylvania. What we ended up doing is having a small wedding at our home, because we knew we'd be able to plan something less expensive here, and then we worked their hotel stays in to our budget. We paid for everyone to stay out here, and all they had to do was pay for the plane tickets or drive. We provided all the food and everything for the whoel weekend. Now, you can take this a step further and even plan for the plane tickets for your immediate family by putting off the wedding maybe until Spring '10, but this is totally your choice. If you want a small wedding (mine was 30 people) then what I did might not be more expensive than having two big receptions and you guys have to pay to fly and stay, plus put on a second reception. I know that if I had had a reception at home, it would have ended up being a reception for 80 peoiple EASY full of family that I don't talk to EXCEPT at weddings and funerals. lol

I'm not sure I'm being coherant. lol Think of this though: the reception is the most expensive part of a wedding, Think of two food bills, two sets of invitations, two sets of decorations (or paying to ship the first set I suppose). Two sets of DJ bills or what not... all those big line items in a budget that you'd have to do twice.

It's a tough decision. I hope you and your hubby can sit down and figure out which would actually be more cost effective for you.

1. Have one smaller ceremony and reception. Paying to fly out close family. Say X number of must-have family multiplied by plane ticket price
2. Have a second reception and all the budget stuff I just listed.

Best of luck!




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