Religulous type Question

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SocalGal Posts : 456 Registered: 6/3/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 13, 2008 10:27 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Hey hey, it's not my fault if it didn't work for you...perhaps your math was off, which would explain the brief understanding of "god time."  Next time, try snorting it...maybe that'll work for you.  Of course, if you've had your tonsils, wisdom teeth, or appendix removed, it isn't going to work.  I would have mentioned that before, but I only discovered that this morning.  The jury is still out on whether or not it works on people with abnormally large egos.

 


True love never has a happy ending; true love never ends.

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 14, 2008 4:43 PM Go to message in response to: SocalGal

There's nothing wrong with my math. I did it exactly as you stated. I failed to achieve flight. I also do not believe this myth reguarding wisdom teeth and appendixes. I feel that this is just an excuse to relive yourself of any responsibility.Therefore It is now commanded that you Socalgal will go to In N Out Burger and get Misterkelley a Double Double, large fries and a medium Mr. Pibb. And make it snappy - none of this  "God Time" crap.


MisterKelley - Now specializing in Trainwrecks and Jackassery

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 14, 2008 7:24 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley-I have a question for YOU! Where the hell has your wife been? We need her back by popular demand!

Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 14, 2008 7:55 PM Go to message in response to: SocalGal

The jury is still out on whether or not it works on people with abnormally large egos.

SoCal if you were referring to MK with that last statement, that was pretty damn funny. I laughed out loud reading that lol.

LJ - Im here. Its been a SUPER busy week for me and I just havent had any time at all to post. Work, grading, parents were in town, just lots of stuff going on. Things should calm down a bit in the next few days hopefully.


Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

WATCH OUT "Bleight-ers".TEAM KICK-ASS (LittleRoo,Cyclist,MrsFord,OldAmy and Kelley) are going to KICK. YOUR. ASS!!!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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SocalGal Posts : 456 Registered: 6/3/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 14, 2008 8:51 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Sorry MK, but going to In n' Out is against my religion...and besides, I don't believe in paying penances either.

Get your own food.

(and yes, the data has revealed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, twinkee induced flight does not, in fact work on anyone with an abnormally large ego...the power of the twinkee cannot compete with the sheer gravity of a swelled up head)

 


True love never has a happy ending; true love never ends.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 14, 2008 11:40 PM Go to message in response to: SocalGal

on a more serious note:....  I FINALLY GOT TO SEE RELIGULOUS!! (It actually played here in the Buckle of the Bible Belt.) 

Very interesting.  I particularly liked his synopsis.  Someone in our audience said "Wow" at the end, and several people clapped.   It really was good.  And it is amazing how close a lot of what he expressed was to the stuff that we expressed here on this board.


Misty

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goldenLOVE Posts : 44 Registered: 9/8/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 16, 2008 10:41 AM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

I havent read through the entire 18 pages but I'll just leave this comment anyhow:

Im a religious person... I believe in God... I believe in the story of Noah and the ark and moses and the red sea and all of that. I dont have logical answers to any questions because I have faith in God... for those who are sooooo into getting a logical answer... give me one for this: MY GRANDMOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST CANCER... AND LUNG CANCER... IT WAS A LATE DIAGNOSIS SO THEY SIMPLY TOLD US TO JUST PRAY FOR HER AND ENJOY OUR LAST DAYS/MONTHS WITH HER. SHE COULDNT GET CHEMO. NOTHING COULD BE DONE. THEY RAN SEVERAL TESTS, AND ALL THAT MEDICAL CRAP... THIS WAS 10 YEARS AGO. MY GRANDMOTHER JUST CELEBRATED HER 83RD BIRTHDAY EARLIER THIS YEAR AND THERE IS NOOOOOOOOOOO SIGN OF CANCER IN HER BODY! So, whats the scientific/logical explanation for that? We call it a miracle... performed by God.

Aside from that... I'd rather believe in God and find out after death that He doesnt exist... than not belive in Him and burn in hell for eternity. But I guess those of you who dont believe in Him, dont believe in hell either... so, ah well. God bless
"If I had to choose to love you or to breathe I would use my last breathe to say I love you."

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 16, 2008 11:07 AM Go to message in response to: goldenLOVE

Hey Golden Love -- it's more of an "I don't know" I accept that miracles happen...things that are not explainable. Whether they are divine intervention or something that our science yet cannot explain, I do not know. I do believe that there is a God. I don't believe that religion is one size fits all.

I understand that you have faith, and that is wonderful, and that there is also that knowledge that you 'could be wrong' and you'll find out after death. I don't sense from you though that you're believing just because you would rather not risk it. I sense from you that there is a faith element.

See, I would feel like a hypocrite if the ONLY reason I subscribed to a faith was because it would be better to be wrong about God and worship him on earth, than to be wrong about religion and burn in Hell. I'm not going to subscribe to the fear philosophy. If someone gets some comfort in relgion, that's great, but only so long as they realize it is their personal comfort.

However, regarding religion: I do not believe in killing people for things I believe in -- as happens so frequently with the faithful. And I'm about to say something highly charged: If someone depicts your prophet in a cartoon...you can send a stern letter. You can call the guy a blasphemer. You can boycott the newspaper. You don't have the right to kill them. There is no justification for that -- and I don't care HOW you read your sacred text.

And if you don't like someone doing something that is legal by law...but not in your church, you can boycot businesses, you can pray....but you cannot go out and kill that person. There is no justification ofr it -- and I do not care HOW you read your sacred text.

Last I checked: "Thou shalt not kill" (or whatever derivative in your text) did not have an exception clause for Christians, or for Muslims, or for Jews, or whatever. If they disagree with you, with them luck in the afterlife, and move on with your happy life.

Misty

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 16, 2008 11:37 AM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Just in case anyone is wondering....I'm not insinuating that anyone here believes those things are okay. And nothing I've read from any posters suggests that they think killing people who disagree with them is okay. It's just a general statement

(hey were those smileys there before?)

Misty

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 17, 2008 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Ive been wanting to post this in here for awhile, but keep forgetting. Its genius and this is where it belongs, in this thread. I present to you my very favorite George Carlin bit of ALL TIME, on religion.
Enjoy. Or get pissed. Whatever. Either way, its serving its purpose.

George Carlin
On Religion


ObjectiveThought.com
12-23-5

When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!

But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.

No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.

I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.

But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and fuck up Your Plan?

And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!

(Copyright 1999 by George Carlin.
http://www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html


Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

WATCH OUT "Bleight-ers".TEAM KICK-ASS (LittleRoo,Cyclist,MrsFord,OldAmy and Kelley) are going to KICK. YOUR. ASS!!!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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goldenLOVE Posts : 44 Registered: 9/8/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 17, 2008 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Cat: When you talk about killing people, Im a little off. Are you referring to the people who were killed in the Bible or in general??
"If I had to choose to love you or to breathe I would use my last breathe to say I love you."

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luvathena Posts : 929 Registered: 12/10/07
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 17, 2008 3:05 PM Go to message in response to: goldenLOVE

I believe in God- I see God in the beautiful sunset and a newborn baby. I believe in hell- I saw it creeping across our hillsides this weekend as it made it's march through the dry brush in SoCal.

I believe the bible is a collection of stories that were put together by a group of men who didn't want to loose control of their power. Stories are not necessarily true or false. They are interpretations of what the writer saw or heard. Many are metaphors. It's hard to argue with basic premises such as thou shalt not kill. They are practical, keep order in society.In that way the bible is a wise ducument. It's a shame that there will always be those who use it for their own purposes.

I have always been aghast of those who use religious doctrine to wage war and keep their mits on the power source. They are the evil ones.

Saying all this...if there was a way that we could wage twinkee warfare...we could rule the world!


Maggie and Tom-8-31-08

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 17, 2008 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: goldenLOVE

goldenLOVE wrote:Cat: When you talk about killing people, Im a little off. Are you referring to the people who were killed in the Bible or in general??
"If I had to choose to love you or to breathe I would use my last breathe to say I love you."
(FINALLY! It gave me the quote in the body!)

I'm talking about fundamentalist Christians who kill abortion doctors or bomb clinics, because they don't support the legal work -- I'm not saying I expect them to patronize the establishment -- just saying that, last time I checked, in this country it IS legal to perform abortions and it is not legal to bomb things or shoot people.

I'm talking about fundamentalist Muslims who will kill people because of stories written, or cartoons drawn, or movies made that are apparently unflattering to Mohammed. Last time I checked, in the countries those activities were performed the only thing NOT legal was killing people.

Now I realize fully that extremists do take a rather different interpretation than the main--but they still base their wack-jobbiness in their sacred texts. They still find that kind of nonsense in the Bible and in the Koran.

I do not believe in a God who demands that kill in His name. To do so, IMHO, defiles God.

The people I am speaking of are operating in the world today....not in Biblical times. And that's only the ones who go about killing.

I don't support using the Bible or any other sacred text to deny people rights, to diminish their value in the eyes of society -- like it has been for women, for gays, in the past for blacks. The extreme fringes of religious groups love to spread hate and bigotry over God's love. And they wonder why so many have turned away in disgust.

Misty

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 17, 2008 4:03 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Something in Goldenlove's post about her grandmother's life is at the heart about what bugs me when people talk about the miracles that they have seen. And I don't mean to bring this up to dissuade anyone from their faith, because I really have no issue with faith itself.

I am just always perplexed by the tendency to blame God for the good and man for the bad. My brother survivied cancer = God's miracle. My sister died from cancer = she smoked too many cigarettes. Likewise, if God is responsible for the big blue sky and the deep blue ocean, isn't he also responsible for the tsunami ripped through Thailand in 2005 which resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths? Isn't he also responsible for the earthquakes in China last year, killing thousands of children? It's always a miracle when a drug addict survives his eighth overdose, recovers, and lives a healthy life. But some girl who has never done a thing wrong in her life slips walking up the stairs, falls backwards, fractures her spine and is now in a wheelchair for the rest of her life (true story), yet no one talks about how that is also God's work.

If a miracle = act of god, then it's not just the person who doesn't die that is a miracle. It's also the people who doesn't live. God is responsible for all of it. . .he has to be. Yet, when people urge you that he does in fact exist, they never bring up tsunamis, earthquakes, or the random that gets thrown out of a window, lands on someone's head and results in permanent brain damage. Only the good stuff.

The other thing that bugs me is when people do bring up that whole "I'd rather not risk rotting in hell" argument. I've tried faith - it didn't work. I didn't choose to be an agnostic. . .agnosticism is what feels right for me.

I think God granted me the ability to doubt. . .to question. . .he made me a skeptic. And the world needs skeptics. The world needs people who don't accept the status quo of their religious communities; otherwise we wouldn't know that the world is round, or that there's something called penicillin which can prevent human suffering and death. I think we need people who question and who challenge, and sometimes I think that God must know that too.


__________________________________________
My new favorite website: www.poptimal.com

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Religulous type Question
Posted: Nov 17, 2008 4:59 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

Yet another great post by MrsD. All of that bothers me too. But you left out something. Sometimes these people DO claim that bad things are because of God, but then they say something ridiculous like, "the tsunami was punishment for gay people." Which of course makes NO sense. Ive heard some religious loons say that 9/11 was brought on by God as a punishment for Americans, etc etc.

Now you have every right to have your Faith and thats great if it truly helps you in your life, but it doesnt work for me generally speaking. I feel like however horrific the circumstances, people of Faith will always find some way to make it sound as if God made it better for them. I just dont understand this. For example: a little girl of age 6 dies in a horrific car crash; she is hit by a drunk driver. To me, this is just horrific and awful and THATS IT. Has nothing to do with God. The little girl was decapitated and the mom sat on the highway with her , holding her head in her lap to stay with her. She said later that "God knew that she needed me in that moment, and so he allowed me to have her head" or something. Now I have no right to judge how this woman deals with their daughters death - whatever works for them - but that kind of statement astounds me and I just do not get it. Your 6 yr old just died in a car crash in a completely pointless death - hit by a drunk driver!!! - and her head is removed from her body - (this happened on Long Island awhile back, its a true story) - and yet you somehow are STILL finding a way to make this about "Gods Will?" and all that? I do not understand that AT ALL. To me, an asshole who decided to drive drunk just fucked up your life forever. And thats it. To think anything else is - to me - just making yourself feel like there is some bigger purpose to it all. And again, thats fine if that helps you. I just fail to see how anyone can ACTUALLY really truly believe that a 6yr olds death (or any child) is Gods Will. Sorry.

Then they go the other way too. If that child had survived, then people of Faith will say something like "Well I know there is a God because my daughter almost died but God saved her and thats a miracle." Okay - well again, does that mean youre special? What about the other little girl who died in teh hospital bed next to your daughters? What happened there? I guess they didnt pray hard enough or she somehow "deserved it" right? That kind of stuff just angers me and I dont get it.

Whenever someone dies thats close to me and someone says "It was his time" - I get so angry. I hate that statement. And if the guy was 90 yrs old then okay, say that, but if someone is like 40 and dies of cancer and you hear "it was his time" - no it wasnt. It was a goddamn tragic death and they should still be here.

Anyway, Im babbling. Im not very good at making my points like MrsD and Cat are. Can I hire the two of you to make my points for me? What would you charge per "point?" LOL.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

WATCH OUT "Bleight-ers".TEAM KICK-ASS (LittleRoo,Cyclist,MrsFord,OldAmy and Kelley) are going to KICK. YOUR. ASS!!!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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