NWR-The New SEX Thread!

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MrsMaldonado Posts : 2,852 Registered: 3/7/07
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

I would talk to him...that doesn't sound healthy, hun....50lbs is a LOT of weight to put on....


Just married!


September 27, 2008

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 4:46 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

Emy, if you like it, then that's great!  I guess you would coming from a long distance relationship!

No negativity Ashley, at least you're being honest.  Have you talked to your husband?


preview image

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Ashleyanne2010 Posts : 447 Registered: 5/3/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

I've recently tried to talk to FH about it... Here's a little history.  We've both pretty much been unhealthy together.  I've tried to be more healthy (ran/walked a half marathon last year, tried diets, etc.) but recently I've kicked it into high gear (weight watchers, working out almost every day, got back into running) and have lost 34 (go me!) pounds in about 5 months.  BUT, FH hasn't done anything.  When I bring it up, he gets defensive and just shoots back that he doesn't want to be at the level of activity that I am at... again, huge turn-off.  I'm not asking him to work out everyday, but once a week at least would be a step up!!!

I was honest with him last week and told him that I am much more attracted to him when he takes care of himself and feels good about himself and he actually went to the track with me... even though he complained the whole way there and the whole way home.  And you know what?  It actually helped me to see him out there and to share that with him... We hadn't had sex like we did that night in a loooong time!!!  Hopefully that'll encourage him...

=/

Message was edited by: Ashleyanne2010

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Ashleyanne2010 Posts : 447 Registered: 5/3/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 5:19 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

As for our sex life though, it comes and goes in spurts.  Sometimes we'll be totally on, other times we're polar opposites.  I'd like to get to a place where we were "on" more often than not though... I just never thought it would take work!
 

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krista210 Posts : 450 Registered: 7/14/07
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 5:55 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Linda jo you continually crack me up - I love your threads. Im also super excited that there is a new sex thread. DH and I have a healthy sex life I belive. We have sex approx 4 times a week. I wish we could more but Dh rathers sex in the morning because he gets really tired but we both work in the morning so that doesnt really work!

Sex is super important to us, we both find it really stress relieving and such a fun way to spend time together! We also love to just fool around, touch each other etc.. but not have sex.

I;m sure I'll frequent this thread - Dh and I are also planning on TTC starting in may! Off to work for now though, enjoy ladies!


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sjhc132 Posts : 164 Registered: 3/18/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

ashleyanne i totally feel your pain... thats what we argue about a lot too and the funny thing is i told him from the beginning when we first started dating that i had little to no sex drive and he always said it was fine...then when we started having sex in the beginning i will admit we did it more often...a couple times a day and then it my drive seriously decreased...i had switched bc right before that happened and its never really came back since... linda jo ive been to 3 gynos and none of them have really been able to help me...i know it hurts him he has enough self esteem issues b/c of his weight issues...but it hurts me too even more then i get angry with him feeling resentment and such when i do it to satisfy his need...i try to do my best to get into the mood and to have sex at least a couple of times a week but like i said before i could go months w/o ever actually "wanting" to do it...sometimes it gets so bad he literaly begs for it especially if its been about a week... i dont know maybe im just totally screwed up... i love my husband more than anything in the world...i know hes the one god had destined for me and outside of sex our relationship is totally awesome...does anyone have any advice on how i can conquer this...

 

i was meant for him and he was meant for me :)

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OpErATiOnMrSzAnKs Posts : 19 Registered: 11/10/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

If it were up to FH we would do it all the time. I am very attracted to him, and it seems like I when we can't. We go in spurts were its a lot and then very slim. Sometimes I just don't want to, I love him and like I said I am attracted to him so why wouldn't I want to have sex?? Any advice??


May 15, 2010 I will be Mrs. Zanks*

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TigerBride515 Posts : 482 Registered: 10/15/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 7:08 PM Go to message in response to: OpErATiOnMrSzAnKs

OK so I have the complete opposite problem!  I want to do it ALL THE TIME! no exaggeration.  FH and I have sex about twice a week. We have really busy schedules and are both pretty tired most of the time. He gets up early and I get home late plus we have a 2 year old. By the time I get home at night  we eat dinner put our son to bed and have about 30 minutes to go over the next day and talk to each other before we are both passed out. We definitely have to plan time for sex or it would never happen, we just have too much going on. But instead of saying "we'll do it tuesday and friday" we made a rule that we won't go longer than 3 days without sex. It works most of the time, but nothings perfect.  My problem is that within the last few months I want to do it every night and in the morning if I can manage it, I just can't get enough. When FH sends me an email it turns me on!  I don't know what to do because we just don't have the time, energy, or opportunity to have as much sex as I would like to and I am wearing FH out!  Has anyone else experienced a ramp up in sexual desire? it's so bizarre!

FH says that it's my biological clock kicking in and making my hormones go crazy. He's a biology teacher. 

 preview image


Message was edited by: TigerBride515

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cyadi83 Posts : 68 Registered: 7/18/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 7:32 PM Go to message in response to: TigerBride515

I think sex is super important in a marriage. I mean, ofcourse there has to be other things that build a marriage but sex is a big part.

FH and I don't live together. I don't plan on moving in until the wedding. We've been dating for over 9 years! (We wanted to finish school first)

We practically have sex every chance we get. Every time we're alone. I have a magnificent sex drive and he loves it.

I can't imagine us having sex only once a week.

But I have a question for you ladies that say that you are ok with having sex once or twice a week because there are other things in the relationship that compensate for it or are more important than sex....

Do you really think your husbands feel the same way? Or do you think they just go along because they're tired of asking for it and getting rejected?

 

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 7:39 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

"Either way I enjoy being with my husband.  I get a smile on my face just thinking about him.  The sound of his voice will make my heart race.  I love to just sit on the couch and watch a movie or go bowling with him.  I get a thrill walking through the mall holding his hand.  These are the things that make a marriage enduring"

kenny's-You've been married for a while. That's what I want 10 years from now as that's exactly how I feel at this point! If that's what you mean by marriage being more than just sex, well, we have wonderful sex AND more. At the dinner table, he was holding my hand and that made me feel so awesome. I've never had boyfriends want to hold my hand in front of their families before...

MrsMaldonado-Sex makes us both very happy, too. In past relationships, I just wanted to get it overwith; it was a chore. I so much look forward to it now because I am crazy about him.

nanette-I also believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder for sure!

Ashley-I can understand your not being attracted to his laziness. Does he know how you feel? Maybe he's just going through a slump. I definitely wouldn't be bothered by weight gain, but it would disturb me if he all of a sudden didn't want to do anything or had no motivation. See if you can get him more active with things you both enjoy...I hope things work out and congratulations on your weight loss!

krista-I think sex is very important right now with us, too! Maybe it's because we just got married, but we seem to get happier every day. We are both the same-we could spend an hour lying there at night and just talk about our days. You're right-It really IS a stress reliever and we seem to get closer after every time. OH! What's TTC? I'm dying to know!

sjhc-This may sound so cliché but have you tried therapy? I'm not sure if you're married but I'm wondering whether it's psychological or actually a physical thing. Have you thought about what does turn you on about him and go from there? You're very lucky he's patient and understanding.  It sounds like there are a lot of emotions and guilt involved and a good therapist can usually determine where it's coming from. I hope you can resolve the issue.

OpErATion-Are you very stressed out about things? Sometimes I will be in the mood and then I start thinking about things that stink in my life (I'm a major worrier). Talk to him and find out what you both like and/or dislike. Talking always helps us figure out what we like and what our turn-on/offs are.

Tiger! Yay! That's like some of us, anyway. I'm like that-I love being ready and available for him when he wants it and vice versa. I never liked sex before him. I love making him happy! So, no, there absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everybody's different! 

Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008


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Ashleyanne2010 Posts : 447 Registered: 5/3/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 7:41 PM Go to message in response to: cyadi83

We are much happier as a couple when we have sex regularly... so why it doesn't happen often enough is though to answer.

Honestly, I could go without it as an individual but our relationship definitely thrives in its presence and I don't think my FH is ok with just once a week or sometimes even less.  There are times when he just goes with it because he feels rejected otherwise. 

Ya know, he just got home... With all this talk and introspection, I think it's time to get offline and help our relationship thrive!

Surprised

 

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 8:43 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

I am so offended that you rejected my previously started sex thread - just kidding!

I have a sex-related confessiong (oh, doesn't that sound steamy - it's not!)

I haven't had sex since I found out I am pregnant!  I'm still too "afraid"  (which is stuoid, because I KNOW that sex while pregnant is perfectly safe!) That, and I feel "weird" about it.  Obviously, though, my hubby is not thrilled with this dry spell, lol.  Any advice?

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Thanks for starting another good one Linda Jo!!

Sex is very important. It's not the only aspect of a marriage, but let's be real. Marriage would probably be pretty dull without it!

We do not have set nights of the week. Not to put a damper on what may work for somebody else, but that has GOT to be pretty predictable and boring if you only have sex on particular day(s) out of the week. On average, I'd say we have sex about 3-4 times a week (not including the 5 days i'm on my cycle)

The only thing that I've got to get DH to work on is the type of pressure he applies. He's pretty "heavy handed" and will pull a boob or grab a butt cheek a little too hard.

My biggest turn on is KISSING. LOVE some good kissing!

I have a question to throw in the mix: what do you (or your spouse/boyfriend) do when you want some action?


                         Poster Formerly Known as beauti381

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                              Happily Married since June 21, 2008

                              Happy Together since June 20, 1994

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Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 10:48 PM Go to message in response to: MrsWilliams2008

I have to say that FH and I do not live together and we both work and go to school full time so we have sex whenever we can.  We have sex at least 2 times a week but that is just because we are too busy.  FH stays over on the weekends and he wakes up earlier than me to go to work and he always wants to have sex in the morning.  Sometimes we do, but sometimes (esp when I don't have to get up that early) we don't b/c I am too tired.

FH and I do have a great sex life though, we both thoroughly enjoy everything and we haven't felt like this in our other relationships before either.

Do I think that sex is everything? No, def not. FH and I have so many other great things in our relationship, however I must say that because everything else is good, it makes the sex even hotter.

We do not have set days either, we would def get bored with that too.  If we get done with homework early and don't have any or I get out of class or he gets out of work earlier we def do it! But like I said sometimes we're just too busy! Can't wait for winter break tho!! lol.

Linda Jo - TTC means trying to conceive.


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DAS824 Posts : 509 Registered: 8/24/07
Re: NWR-The New SEX Thread!
Posted: Nov 12, 2008 10:59 PM Go to message in response to: Ariana1228

I would have to say that I don't think sex is everything in a relationship or marriage. FH and I have been together for over 8 years...almost 9 when we get married (in May). When we first started having sex we were like rabits! It's kinda slowed down though...

Mostly because we're living with my mom and other family = BIGGG downer. I do not really see any safe way to have sex in my mother's house without someone hearing things or just being caught in general. Yes, we are 24 years old, but both in college and trying to save for a wedding. We'll be moving out before the wedding, but just trying to save as much as we can.

Also, I've had a cervical cancer scare recently so we had to go about 4 months without sex at all. It was only necessary for about 2 months, but I was scared to try anything because of the procedures I went through. We recently did though, and it was amazing!

I looove being intimate with him! I am just so attracted to him and love just pleasing him. I usually don't reach a high point during sex, but I love it just the same!


Shauna C...I can't wait!!

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