Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls

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BunniBride Posts : 11 Registered: 9/1/08
Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 12:43 AM

I'm trying to figure out my wedding party and I have a few questions...

What are the age limitations for bridesmaids? (In your opinion, at least.) How about for flower girls? And what about junior bridesmaids? 

In all honesty, I just learned about the existence of junior bridesmaids after I signed up with Brides.com! I assume it's for girls who are too old to be flower girls but too young to be bridesmaids...What do they do exactly?

Also, I really want my cousin to be my flower girl, but my hubby-to-be also has picked out a flower girl himself. Is it okay to have two flower girls? If so, are there any problems that I should look out for? Is it okay for them to wear the same dress or should they be different? Do they walk down the aisle together or separate?

And how do you feel about how a flower girl should dress? I was a flower girl for my aunt back in '93 and I remember being dressed as if I were a mini bride! I had a big, lacy dress with puffy sleeves and a veil as well. I kinda don't like this idea, at least not for my wedding. I'd much rather pick out a beautiful, but not bridal dress. What are your thoughts on this?

 Yes, I have many questions. But be patient with me! I'm still very new to this. ^^;


He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, 'Marry me, Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad; you'll pick out a white dress
It's a Love Story
Baby, just say yes.'

- "Love Story," Taylor Swift

Message was edited by: BunniBride

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FinallyMrsS Posts : 1,035 Registered: 3/29/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 1:35 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

Flower girls I feel should be under 5. However, my niece will be 8 when I get married and she will be a flower girl because I am not into the junior bridesmaid and my sister would not understand my niece being too old. I am going to have 2 flower girls and 2 ring bearers. My sister had 4 flower girls at her wedding last year and 1 ring bearer, so the number really doesn't matter. And they all wore the same exact dress. 3 years ago my cousin wanted me to be a junior bridesmaid. I was 2 weeks away from turning 21. I declined. She also asked my 24 year old sister to be a junior bridesmaid. I guess if I had kids from a prev marriage, I would understand junior bridesmaids, but as of right now, I just dont. As for how the flower girl should dress, I am just going to pick out a cute dress. It will probably be pink since that is one of my colors.If you have a family member at an awkward age that you must include, ask them to do the guest book. Let her wear a special pretty dress and that will be her job.

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seitzysbride Posts : 39 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 9:03 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

My sister had 4 flower girls and 2 ring bearers and it was adorable. They all dressed alike in puffy white dresses and they looked like little angels.

I, however, am having 2 flower girls and no ring bearer. (FH wants the dog but i dont know about that) My little girls are going to be in color because i only have 1 bridesmaid and we want to add some more color to the bridal party. Check out jordan bridal......very cute flower girl dresses.  Some all white, some white with color and some all color.  There are a ton of options these days and it is really your preference!!!

Good Luck!!!

 

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seitzysbride Posts : 39 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 9:06 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

oh....and about jr bridesmaids.... im not a fan either.  I have a few girls at an awkward age but i am also going to find very special jobs for them. I am only having my sister as my MOH to alleviate all of the drama. Hope any of this helps

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bridesrocks Posts : 478 Registered: 9/25/07
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 9:13 AM Go to message in response to: seitzysbride

IMO a flower girl can go up to the age of 10 yrs old.  Then after it becomes a junior bridesmaid.  I was discussing that with the lady that sold us the bridesmaid dresses and she agreed with me for the age range.  You can have as many FG or RB as you want and they wear what ever you want them too.  Some people sometimes just don't want to get alot because it's very hectic to get them down the aisle if they are young...but to each is own.

Good luck with the planning and go with what feels right to you.


Until I marry my Rockstar!

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dryden5 Posts : 330 Registered: 2/4/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 10:21 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

okay we are having 3 bridesmaids and a junoir...my daughter 11 and a "minimaid"  his 9 year old daughter.  She feels she is too old to be a flowergirl.  So our bridal shop said minimaids are what the size of dress she is wearing.  But when she was going to be a flower girl she was going to wear a smaller version of our BM dresses.
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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 1:00 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

Maybe I'm the odd person out, but to me these titles (flowergirl, JB, bridesmaid) are just words--there's no real age limit. I've know adults who were "flower girls" at weddings (especially remarriages and vow renewals, when a little relaxed humor is allowed). And there's certainly no limit on the age of bridemaids (most of whom are not "maids" anyhow). As for children, come up with names that suit the people you want to have. If you have a "tween," call her something that's not age-based (bridal attendant is pretty neutral). And, if you want two (or four or six) flower girls, have them. For example, Mariska Hargitay's wedding party was all children, and she called them a "Parade of Sweeties." The nice thing about being a bride in the 21st century is that you can do what you want! As far as what they wear, I'm not a fan of flowergirlslooking like little brides. I think they should look like children, whether they wear white or a color.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 4:54 PM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

I am having no flower girls, but if I were, the flower girl would be wearing a dress similar to my bridesmaids...NOT MINE.  I don't like the idea of dressing the flower girl up like a mini-bride.   I know people do it, and that is fine, but not for my wedding <g>

I am having a Junior Bridesmaid.   My FH has a niece, and I have no sisters or brothers.  I've always wanted to be an aunt, so I want my future niece to be in our wedding.  She'll be 13.  She's dressing like the Bridesmaids and she will have a role in the ceremony -- just like the Bridesmaids.  Her role as far as extra ceremonial activities, however, will be reduced.   I figure she'll come to the bachelorette party early, but we'll have her back to her parents by 9:30, and then we'll do other stuff.   She'll be a part of it, but she won't have as much to do that way.

Our Wedding Party is actually writing a bit of our ceremony -- however, we wrote the portion for our Junior Bridesmaid.  She will just have to say her lines, rather than write them up.  (We are doing a handfasting.  Each member of our wedding party has been given a color and what the color symbolizes; however, what they say when they bind us with that blessing is for them to write.   The Junior Bridesmaid has Grey -- representing compromise.   "In marriage, there are two sides to every argument.  One person is not always one hundred percent right.  One is not always one hundred percent wrong.  Grey is the middle ground.   May you be blessed with the strength and courage to find the compromise and middle ground.")     The adults are writing out what theirs is...(they are due November 30...I can't wait to see what they come up with!)  


Misty

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CountryPrincess Posts : 673 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 5, 2008 12:47 AM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

I agree with everyone else. Its your wedding, do what you feel is right.

My flower girl will be around 3. She will not be dressed like a bride or a bridesmaid. She will have a dress all her own that matches our wedding colors. I'll also be getting her dress from a store such as Target, instead of a bridal shop. So that she can run and play with the other kids, eat cake, and just be three without anyone having to worry about her messing up the dress.

Our Ring Bearer will be about 4 or 5. He may, or may not, be our RB because he is Autistic and we're not sure how he will handle the job on the day of. He'll be dressed in a little suit. Possibly have something that matches the FG. Once again, something inexpensive so he can play.

I will have a MOH who will be 20. And I will have one bridesmaid who will be 13. Since it is just the two, they will be wearing the same outfit. MOH is throwing me a bachorlette party with some of our friends and the 13 yr old will not be invited. Instead, two days before the wedding the 3 of us (MOH, BM, and I) will have a spa day. She will be invovled in picking dresses and fittings. She really won't have "jobs" like the MOH has. She'll be in charge of watching the FG pre-ceremony and making sure FG stays clean long enough for pictures. I will ask her opinions on decorations and as I said previously, she will be included in dresses/shoes/accessories/hair/make up. She is FH's little sister and I have known her since she was 10. I'm the only girl in her life (other than her grandma who is mid 60s) for her to look up to. So I'm her role model and I truly feel as if she is my own little sister.

Also since the FG and RB are at a young age, they won't stand through the ceremony. They will do their job, and then go to their moms which will be sitting at the end of the second aisle for easy access.

I was a JR Bridesmaid for my sisters wedding at the age of 14 and hated it. I wore the same dress, the same shoes, and got my hair done. But I was competely excluded from everything and did not feel like part of the wedding. All I remember from my sister's wedding is stress and feeling like a little kid. So I have a bit of a negative out look on JR bridesmaids.

 


"I don't care how much it hurts. I don't care if its a brick wall disaster. I'd rather fight with you everday than be happy for one second with anyone else." <3

Kevin & Mari: 11/09/06 to Forever.

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HandL Posts : 20 Registered: 7/17/08
Re: Bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, and flower girls
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 11:28 AM Go to message in response to: BunniBride

My goodness that's a lot of questions.

In all reality these positions are for your choosing, you do not have to have any or you have a bunch.

Let's start with jr bridesmaids, these are girls usually 7-14 who are too young to be a full bridesmaid but too old to be flowergirl.  They usually wear a dress similar to the bridesmaids but usually a more conservative one because of the age and lack of curves.  They can carry a bouquet or just have a corsage.  They usually process in with the rest of the bridal party.  As for pre-wedding events, they should be invited to everything except the bachelorette party unless you are having a good clean fun party.  If you ask someone to be a jr bridesmaid it simple means that you see them as an important person and want them involved in your wedding.  You can always have girls that fit into the age category hand out programs and help guests sign the guest book if you do not want to enlarge your bridal party.

 

Flower girls are usually 4-7 or younger if you think they are mature enough to walk down the aisle on their own.  The younger they are the more I would suggest not asking them to throw out petals but maybe just carry the basket.  They usually wear white or ivory in a dress that resembles the brides dress but again you can put them in a coordinating color or style and they are young so make it age appropriate.  It's your wedding and you can do what you want.

 You can have 2 flower girls if you want, they could walk together and if one is young it may help to have the older one help walk them down the aisle.  If you want one to pass out petals and the other to ring a bell or blow bubbles or just carry a basket you can.  I would just again watch the age and maturity.  Also if you aren't having many kids at the wedding it would be nice for them to have someone to play with at the reception.

Also with flowergirls, if you are not having a ring bearer, you can have one girl do flowers and the other carry the pillow with or without rings.

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