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Filipino Wedding Tradition

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KCMetro Posts : 15 Registered: 11/2/08
Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Nov 2, 2008 9:00 PM

Does anyone have any ideas on integrating Filipino wedding traditions into American wedding traditions.My fiance is a Filipino American (he was born in America but his parents are Filipino) and I wanted to integrate as much of the Filipino culture into the wedding as possible, but honestly don't know much about it. Should I just ask his family or try to do some outside research on my own. I just want our wedding to be special and want to incorporate his traditions into the wedding as well so that it can truly be a joining of both of us.

missouri , june_2010 , traditions , tradition
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hellokitty4ever Posts : 744 Registered: 6/6/07
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Nov 2, 2008 9:13 PM Go to message in response to: KCMetro

Maybe your FH and GMs can wear the traditional shirts typically worn at weddings.  It's called the Barong Tagalog shirt.  For the most part though, Filipino weddings adhere to Catholic traditions.



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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Nov 2, 2008 9:23 PM Go to message in response to: hellokitty4ever

Hi Metro. Im a Coordinator and my first client was Filipino. They decided to incorporate a lot of the traditions into the ceremony. A typical filipino ceremony includes things like a veil and cord ceremony - both of which happen as part of the overall wedding ceremony. Also some Filipino families have Sponsors as part of their ceremony. I think this is an excellent way to get to know your future inlaws better, and to make sure they know that you care about their customs. So yes - simply ask them what; if anything; they would like to include into the wedding planning and ask them to please share with you the meaning behind these customs.

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KCMetro Posts : 15 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 10:51 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

kelleyiskelley-

 Thanks for the info. I know my future inlaws fairly well already, so it shouldn't be that difficult to incorporate them into the wedding. My FH and I have been together for almost 4 years now and I've spent some time talking with his dad over games of poker and through email. His parents moved to seattle a few years ago and I was enlisted to help with all the packing for them. (We had only been together about six months at the time) and since then his parents both email me. When they moved they invited me to all their family dinners bc they said I was part of the family. Sometimes I felt like they wanted me to be part of the family long before their son figured it out. :o) LOL. I asked my FH about the shirt and he said he didn't want to be caught dead wearing it, so I'm guessing he won't be wanting to do that.

I'm not familiar with the coin exchange but he seemed kinda interested in that ceremony and I did some reading and saw some information on the coin ceremony and the veil and cord ceremony. One of my FH's friends (possibly the best man) got married a couple of years ago and he's greek orthodox so I'm a little familiar with the veil and cord ceremony because they did that ceremony during that wedding. 

My only other concern is that I have a daughter from a previous relationship (its a long painful story but my daughter was the result of a domestic violence incident) so I'm nervous that could pose a problem if he wants to get married in a catholic church. Any suggestions on that? 

 

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HandL Posts : 20 Registered: 7/17/08
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Nov 7, 2008 1:19 PM Go to message in response to: KCMetro

YOur daughter should not cause a problem for a Catholic wedding.  Call a local parish priest and set up a meeting to go over any "pre-work" you would have to do.  Usually it's six months of pre-Cana counseling and preparation.

If you were married before and it ended because of domestic violence, you are able to get that marriage annuled in the eyes of the Catholic Church with a few forms.  Best advice on this one is contact a priest.  If you are not sure of a parish in your area look at www.masstimes.org for one in your area.

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FilipinaAmerican Posts : 1 Registered: 2/16/09
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Feb 16, 2009 4:23 PM Go to message in response to: KCMetro

Cultural differences between Filipin@s and Americans are huge, despite over a hundred years of shared history. You are blessed to be marrying a man who was raised by parents from a culture that values women very highly and think the world of children. I hope he honors our traditions by being true to his roots in the way he treats you and your child.

Filipin@ (I use @ to incorporate both genders in one word as our inherently gender-non-specific indigenous languages do) culture is centered on relationships. We see weddings as the joining not just of two individuals but of two families or clans and an opportunity to expand our kinship networks.

Because your fiance was raised here, he'll be more American than his parents, but it still helps to understand the differences. Don't be afraid of being connected. We Filipin@s are very tolerant of individual quirks among those we love and our connectedness doesn't mean we force people into conformity or uniformity. In fact, for the most part, we provide each other with a safe environment in which to be uniquely one's own person. And we look out for each other.

Aside from the veil, cord and coin ceremonies typical of Filipin@ weddings, we also honor our parents in some way. Some brides are escorted to the altar by both parents as a nod to the sacrifices Mom and Dad both made for their child. Other couples take time to give gifts and pay tribute to both sets of parents during the ceremony.

Music is another very appropriate way to bring Filipin@ culture into the wedding. We have many beautiful, evocative love songs that would be meaningful to all the Filipin@s in attendance. You could ask your future in-laws for suggestions and pick one or two you both like. You could do this for either the ceremony or the reception, or both.

The decor for the reception hall could also reflect some of the riches of Philippine cultures. We have beautiful hand-woven fabrics that your decorator could drape in front of or as a backdrop to the bridal table (it's traditional to have a long table where the couple, their parents, principal sponsors and sometimes the secondary sponsors sit, usually on a higher level than the rest of the tables at the reception). Capiz light fixtures or other decorative elements are always a nice and elegant touch if you can get them.

Hope this helps.

culture , filipino , northern_california , june_2010 , music , filipina , missouri , tradition , capiz
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EEC6510 Posts : 1 Registered: 6/16/09
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 2:13 PM Go to message in response to: KCMetro

My fiance is half Filipino and we are planning on incorporating Filipino traditions as well. As far as the ceremony goes it is pretty much the same as a Roman Catholic ceremony. There are a few things you could incorporate though. In Filipino weddings, they will drape a single large white veil over the head and shoulders of the bride and over the shoulders of the groom as the partners kneel side by side. Over the top of the veil a cord is wrapped around them in a figure 8 to symbolize an eternal bond. Also they have a coin bearer. They give coins to the priest who blesses them and then gives them to the groom. The groom then gives them to the bride to symbolize the sharing of earthly possessions. I would check out http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/ and look inspirations then real weddings and look at Liezel and Christopher of Chicago. They incorporated a few Filipino traditions that I plan on using that you might find helpful as well.

june_2010 , missouri , traditions , tradition
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Fri Posts : 1 Registered: 12/21/06
Re: Filipino Wedding Tradition
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 9:37 PM Go to message in response to: KCMetro

You might not need to know this by now, but you can get some tips from Wedding Nouveau (www.weddingnouveau.com), a style guide for intercultural brides and multi-ethnic weddings. I believe they have a post regarding this very same topic from Nov 2, 2009.

Good luck.

northern_california , june_2010 , november_2008 , missouri , traditions , tradition
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