Does age gap matter in relationship?

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WeddingOfAkia Posts : 1 Registered: 10/31/08
Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 1, 2008 1:51 PM

Call of Love: In love you cannot tell to whom you may eventually end up with. You may both have similar interests and you both enjoy the company. and eventually you both fall in love to each other. but is it ok to marry with someone half your age or less than your age?

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 1, 2008 2:03 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingOfAkia

If you are both LEGAL and consenting adults - then technically yes of course its okay to marry someone at whatever age.

But if you feel the need to ask this question then you must not be 100% comfortable with the idea yourself.

You will get all kinds of opinions on this topic so just remember you did ask.:)

And in the end you can only do what feels right to you.


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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 3, 2008 6:32 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingOfAkia

It certainly doesn't matter to me what ppl do in their relationships but I do know that I kind of wonder how it works out with couples who have large age gaps. My mom dated a guy 20yrs older than her and that guy has fucked her over big time her entire life. So I doubt I'd be fond of dating someone with a big age gap. My EH & I are 10 months apart. That's the biggest age gap I've had.

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KCMetro Posts : 15 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 9:41 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingOfAkia

I say it's okay to marry anyone as long as it's legal and you love the other person. For example, my fiancee is three years younger than I am and my best friends husband is 20 years older than she is. In fact her stepson is only 6 months younger than her. :o) I think as long as the two of you love one another age shouldn't matter at all. We each have our own preference on age and ultimately it's you that will have to live with your husband the rest of your life so as long as you can deal with his age then that's all that matters.

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Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 9:46 PM Go to message in response to: KCMetro

my husband and I have 16 years and truthfully, we never really notice unless someone points it out to us. It feels odd ot think that he was in the navy while I was in Kindergarten. lol But we're at the same stage of our lives, which I think is more important.  


 

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 4, 2008 10:30 PM Go to message in response to: Nalamienea

FH is 9 years older than me, and it's never been an issue.  But it depends on the relationship.  If it feels right to you, then go for it!

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MoreThanExpected Posts : 158 Registered: 2/13/07
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

My FH is 13 years older than me and I don't think it makes one bit of difference.  As a PP said as long as you're in the same place in your lives I don't see a problem with it.


“Marriage is an expression of love and respect and trust and faith in the future, but the union of husband and wife is also an alliance against the challenges and tradgedies of life a promise that with me in your corner, you will never stand alone.”

-Dean Koontz,from the corner of his eye 

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 4:22 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingOfAkia

My X husband was 8 yeras older then me I was 18 and he was 26after divorce.. I was 28 and didn't date again till 29 I never got along with guys my age.  I dated 10 years olde to 9 years younger. Till I met DH who is 4 months younger then me.

"Age is how many days we have been on this earth, not how we feel in hearts".

 


                              

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SteffMay2009 Posts : 383 Registered: 10/22/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 4:26 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

i think it depends on how old you are.. a gap from 18 to 28 for example can be tough.. but 25 to 35 probably doesn't make a difference. my experience dating older guys was that they were immature for their age, but that was just a personal opinion. if it works for you, do it up.


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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: SteffMay2009

HaHa that is so true.. every guy I dated that was older than me were way immature for their age.  But for some reason the younger ones were better. Oh well like you daid if it works for you who care. right?

(oh - when I married my X husband at 18 I thought I was marrying a MAN because he was 28--NOT--WRONG) lol

 


                              

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 5:07 PM Go to message in response to: SteffMay2009

I generally follow the "half plus seven" rule.

That is, the rule that it is socially acceptable to date someone half your age plus seven years.  The rule means that if you are 18, you can date a 16 year old but no younger.  If you're 30, you can date a 22 year old.  If you're 40, you can date a 27 year old. 

Note, the words "socially acceptable."  This just means that it should pass the raised-eyebrow test.  Only you really can know what you are comfortable with.  Others may find it weird, but they will adjust when they realize that you're in a happy, functional relationship.

I did.  My best friend was 22 when she started dating a 37 year old (in total violation of the half plus seven rule) and I thought she was crazy and he was a pervy old man.  But they eventually got married and have two lovely children and turns out he's a great guy and a great match for her.  So, with the right people and the right timing, age gaps don't really matter much at all.


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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 6, 2008 5:15 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

Good way of puttin git MsD.

                              

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JessyNChris Posts : 120 Registered: 4/3/08
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 7, 2008 5:13 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingOfAkia

My FH is 5 years older than me. I know that isn't alot. Younger guys aren't always mature. I had dated a guy younger than me, he was immature.
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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 8, 2008 7:23 PM Go to message in response to: JessyNChris

10 years and 3 months apart, but I didn't realize he was that much older until we started dating (we worked together). There are perks to dating/marrying an older man: 1) they usually know how to cook and can take care of themselves 2) they know a lot about the world and are willing to talk about real issues 3) they are experienced in relationships

 

"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Does age gap matter in relationship?
Posted: Nov 23, 2008 11:34 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingOfAkia

Everything in a relationship matters.That doesn't mean that couples with a large age gap can't make it work, and many do. But, of course, it matters. For instance, when you marry a man twenty years older than you (for example), one day you'll be sixty and he'll be eighty (or you'll be a young widow--look at Bogart and Bacall, Chaplin and Una). If you're much younger, your kids will have an much older father. Your life experiences and attitudes often are very different. One of my friends is married to a man ten years younger. She looks very young, so looks-wise, they don't seem different. When they were both working, things were great. But, now she's retired and wants to travel, to be free. He's completely tied to his work and never around. And I can see her dissatisfaction with the relationship as it stands. Much older men with much younger women often have jealousy issues. There are likely to be different levels of sexual desire, different levels of physical abilities, etc. Again, age difference is just like any other difference (religion, politics, whatever). Not necessarily an obstacle that cannot be overcome, but one that should not be ignored, either.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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