Can't help but be annoyed

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 3:08 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Your sister's friend was extremely rude to blunt it out like that.  I completely respect her kid/baby free wedding desires, but honestly, I would not just look at a good friend and say "I see you're pregnant... when is that thing due anyway?   Before the wedding, you say?  You do know the invite is just for YOU right?  Don't bring that kid with you."

I'd send an invite and have it clearly indicated that the reception is adult only.  If I knew momma well enough to know that if baby girl started to fuss during the ceremony (or reception), she'd excuse herself, I'd be fine with the baby being there....however, if I did not, I would not want the baby there.

But I would be more than happy to congratulate someone on being pregnant without the first thing coming out of my mouth being: "The baby is NOT invited!"

(And if one of my BMs gets pregnant, I will leave it to her to decide if she can stay in the party.  I don't care if someone looks 7 months pregnant during the ceremony....I only care if they are comfortable doing it , and I'd even be willing to have a chair for my pregnant BM to sit in during the ceremony.)   Bridesmaids are not chosen for the photo op...they are chosen because these are the people we want to stand up with us during the most important day.


Misty

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 8:50 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

dear CL,

"A baby doesnt' eat not like you have to include them in the food counts and they dont' take up a seat....so in reality a baby doesn't need to be on the RSVP!! "

But a baby cries, and needs diaper changes and other attention. Many babies could get stressed out in a large, noisy room with gobs of strangers around.

It would be incredibly rude to RSVP that you are attending the wedding, then bringing an uninvited baby.

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Charlotte09 Posts : 1,021 Registered: 2/22/08
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 10:27 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I understand why people choose to not invite children to weddings, and how if the parents want to go they it should not be a huge deal to get a sitter. Parents deserve a night out anyway and weddings are not entertainment for children in the first place. So I understand why she isnt incorperating children at all. But that should not have been the first thing she said about you being invited to the wedding. However, there is a polite way for her to get the word out that she is having an adult only ceremony/reception.

However, in you sisters case I think it is mean to consider someone worthy to be a bridesmaid only in certain situations. If your sister is really a good friend to her then she wont mind if she is having a baby, just had one, or has none, and would like to have her as a bridesmaid no matter what.

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BrandNewAmy Posts : 341 Registered: 7/3/07
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 9:14 AM Go to message in response to: Charlotte09

My feeling is that your bridesmaids are supposed to be your dearest friends, and if it means a lot to you to have them in your wedding, then you work around them.  Period.  If that means they're in danger of their water breaking while standing up at the altar, then you deal with it.  And if they have children, the children are, by extension, part of the wedding party, and they should be warmly invited.  If you can't deal with any of that, then perhaps you shouldn't be asking them to be in your wedding party in the first place.

With respect to other children, I think it's perfectly fine to draw a hard and fast line about whether they should be allowed at your wedding.  With us, it's not about whether we don't like children.  It's about finances.  At our venue, it doesn't matter if the kid is 1 or 18; a seat costs $100 -- even my MOH's infant in the high chair.  Multiply that times the 10 people in FH's office with 1-3 children each, and we were looking at an extra $1,500 for people who probably won't even eat.  So far we've only had one person who didn't "get" that Mr. & Mrs. John Smith did not mean Mr. & Mrs. plus kid, so we're lucky. 

I'm more cheesed about the adults whom I know have not been on a date in years, are invited solo, and still put down "2" on the response card.  Grrrrrr...

I'd also like to point out that even though I don't have children, I love them.  And I would be HORRIFIED if my kid/baby were the one having a meltdown during the ceremony and creating a ruckus for the bride and groom. 


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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 11:27 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Hey ATOB,

Go pound sand - I said I was MOSTLY JOKING!!  And seriously lose the "Dear" crap it doesn't make your posts more polite it's annoying.


Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 11:41 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

ROLMFAO! Oh my God CL!!!  I am still laughing! ..................................Still laughing...............................and still laughing!

 

Okay, Okay....... (still giggling) We didn't want kids at our wedding either...but what could we do... I had a 4 month old granddaughter .. (still laughing) and an 8 yr old ring-girl, and a 10 yr old flowergirl. So YES there were kids at our wedding.

(still giggling)....Hubby's cousin calls us the day before the wedding and says he has no sitter for is two 5yr old boys and can he bring them...we said fine! and the bum never showed up...he said the boys were sick...WTF???

Anyway... I am still giggling @ CL. LOL.  Yes that was REALLY that funny to me!                                

Check out my Album for wedding pics!

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KitKatBar Posts : 983 Registered: 7/23/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 12:36 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

I had my five year old flower girl cousin and her two year old little brother as the only kids in my wedding. My husband and I decided we didn't want very many children if we could help it. So when a friend who has two really badly behaved kids asked if she needed to get a babysitter, we suggested it would be more fun for her to leave them at home. She did, no complaints, and she had a good time. we were lucky and most people left their children at home with no questions asked, and no complaints.

It's different for everyone, but your sister's friend was rather rude about it. She didn't have to be so blunt with her feelings on the subject. Yes it's within her right to have a child-free wedding, but to kick someone out of the wedding party for being pregnant, to me, that's a bit much.


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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 12:50 PM Go to message in response to: KitKatBar

Thanks for reminding me about the kicking the BM out of the wedding if she got pregnant.  I kinda forgot about that part after reading CL's post. (which by the way is still funny).

My daughter was 4 months pregnant when we orderd the dresses.  we were lucky that the dress fit her AFTER my granddaughter was 4 months old.  We had a rule... if Eden-Rose(my gd) made the slighest noise...her daddy was to take her out ASAP.  turned out she was awake the whole time and never peeped a sound.  And for the reception.. I think she got just as much attention as we did. lol. 

But my ring-girl, got cranky and her daddy (the best man) had to take her home right after his speech...so he basicly missed the whole reception.  It was sad..he is hubby's BF of 27 yrs, but he just won custody of her so by no means were we upset. 


                              

Check out my Album for wedding pics!

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deltagirl Posts : 516 Registered: 12/30/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 1:54 PM Go to message in response to: nanette927

ROFLMAO - next to nanette!

CL.....that was funny!!!!!


 

 

www.brides.com/weddingwebsite/trinaandron2008

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 6:32 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Hey, CL,

"And seriously lose the "Dear" crap it doesn't make your posts more polite it's annoying. "

I do that so the person knows I am replying to them.

Tell you what. You don't criticize my writing style, and I won't criticize yours.

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 6:32 PM Go to message in response to: deltagirl

"Mothers who are breastfeeding can pump milk to tide them over for the few hours that they're away from the baby" 

Not always true.  Both my sister and I refused to take the breast back once we were handled a bottle, and many babies behave this way.

As a result, I have had two doctors and two nurses tell me to not even attempt this until I am ready to risk the possibility of not breastfeeding again.  As a result, this attitude bothers me.  "You can just pump".  It doesn't always work that way.

That said, I am not upset that she banned my baby.  I am upset at the way she said it, that it was her first thought.  And mostly, that she would dare kick out one of her bridesmaids just for getting pregnant.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 8:21 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Dear BL,

"  I am upset at the way she said it, that it was her first thought. "

Yeah, I agree. A negative knee-jerk reaction at what should be a happy time is weird.

Just decline. Stay home and enjoy your baby's company.

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 8:35 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I honestly don't know whay you have a problem.  You are not the bridesmaid that may be kicked out so what is the big deal.  You already said you wouldn't be going, so drop it. 

It becomes very annoying when you complain about every little thing.


Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.



 

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 10:18 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Hey AOTB,

See was that hard??  Nope and it wasn't annoying.  Be like the cool kids and lose the "Dear".

Everyone else when replying to a certain post simply does this:

Poster,

I love chocolate peanut cookies too!

or Hey Poster,

That last post was pretty darn funny. 


Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

 

Message was edited by: CyclistLover

Message was edited by: CyclistLover

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RainyBride Posts : 18 Registered: 6/1/06
Re: Can't help but be annoyed
Posted: Oct 15, 2008 10:53 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I agree.  It's more about her attitude and actions than the fact that babies aren't invited.

The subject says it all, "can't help but be annoyed." Sometimes we just feel that way and wanna vent.  And, feeling for your sister is completely understandable.  Vent away! And if I don't like it, I'll stop reading. :)



 

In other words, I love you.


Message was edited by: RainyBride

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